my experiences

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Change Happens Over Time

A lot can happen over a long period of time. You don’t notice the change at first because it takes time to develop.

leaky tap

Recently, we cleaned the deck in our backyard. When we moved in to our house the wood was pressure-treated and it looked great. But over the years it started to look grey and old and there were dark patches that became more dominant.

It didn’t just happen; it gradually got that way so that it kind of snuck up on us. But one day we realized we needed to do something about this deck; it was not looking very good.

Scientists will say that’s the way the whole world works; it’s called evolution. Given enough time, things develop. One problem I see with their theory is that, with everything at my house that changes over time, it changes for the worst!

It deteriorates; it doesn’t get better, or turn into something new and improved. Things get worse.

You might not notice for a while, or pick up on the little signs, or indicators, but down the road at some point you realize that things are not as they were, and it’s not for the better.

This week Lily discovered something in our basement that had developed over the last week or so. I had sort of noticed that there was something going on in our basement, but it wasn’t totally clear to me.

On Friday night, Lily was talking on the phone and walking in the basement when she stepped on a wet part of the carpet.

It wasn’t supposed to be wet there and, as she looked further, she discovered that this wet area was pretty large. It had soaked the bottoms of book cases, a closet organizer and some picture frames.

When Lily told me, I realized what I had noticed earlier – a faint, musty smell that was actually coming from this water.

We knew right away where the problem originated. I had fixed a few taps in the house last week and, in doing that, had to shut off the water in the house. Well, the tap at the water meter had been dripping slowly since that time.

I guess it turns out that taps only last nineteen years because I’ve now replaced all the taps that old in the place!

It’s pretty amazing how a little drip over time can soak such a large piece of carpet and ruin several things. If it had have been a faster drip, I probably would have noticed it and not left it.

But I didn’t notice the leaky tap, and a week later it had created a mess!

It takes some people time to notice things. A few days ago, I was talking to someone and he motioned at my face. I knew immediately what he was referring to – my goatee … which is not there anymore and hasn’t been for a year and half.

There were no lasting effects with my facial hair going undetected. However, we have a big clean up ahead of us from that undetected drip in our basement.

Here’s the thing: Messes, like sin and hurts, if not addressed, can interfere with your relationship with God. They may not be that noticeable at first, but as more messes pile up, the damage to your relationship with God can get to the point where everyone around you notices things aren’t right. Don’t let the little things go unattended and you will keep your relationship with God in good shape.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you noticed that turned into something big? Leave your comment below.

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Silent Communication 

Have you ever wished you had gotten the silent treatment? You know, when someone refuses to speak to you even if you coax them?

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I can’t say that I’ve experienced that in my marriage. Neither Lily nor I use that method of communication.

It sounds funny to say “silence” and “communication” in the same sentence. But we do communicate through silence.

I had an instructor once who had a line he would use all the time in teaching leadership. He would say, “You can not not communicate.” It had a double negative thing going on and sounded funny to hear and to say, but it’s true.

Even in silence there is communication.

When someone goes silent, they may be communicating that they’re mad – believe me, it doesn’t take a mind reader to figure that out!

That’s just one thing that silence can communicate; there are many others …

When someone is silent, it might mean they are sad, depressed, don’t know the answer or don’t know what to say. … Mind you, there are a lot of people who don’t know things but it doesn’t stop them from sharing what they don’t know with words that almost sound like they do know!

Often when someone is silent, we don’t like it. We get uncomfortable when there is silence; we’re so used to having something in the background, some kind of noise.

When we drive in a car, we often have a radio or music playing, even if it’s low and hard to hear. It’s better than just plain silence.

In my car, silence is never an issue. I always have the sound of wind that gets louder the faster you go. They usually call that white noise, but what I experience is beyond white noise.

White noise is gentle, quiet, relaxing, in the background. In my car it sounds like a hurricane is going to break through the glass at any moment and whisk me out of Kansas, right to the land of OZ!

Silence, however, can be appreciated. We have all been in those conversations that we just wished and prayed would end.

Children with their inquisitive minds can make us long for silence … that’s when you play the car game, “Let’s see who can hold their breath the longest as we drive by this grave yard.” Oh, the quiet bliss of those moments of dead air space!

Two people who are very comfortable can remain silent in the same room or place, maybe reading different books, or thinking on their own. But it gets weird if it goes on too long, before someones says, “Hey, listen to what I just read” or “What are you thinking about that’s so funny?”

We were made to communicate, and we do it even in silence. Even when there is nothing to say, even when we can’t find the words to express what we are feeling or thinking.

Here’s the thing: Sometimes God seems silent, and we desperately want to hear from Him. Unfortunately, we don’t have a face or body language to look at to give us a clue as to what He is communicating to us in the silence. The one thing we should not stop doing is seeking to understand what His silence means. Don’t give up; don’t turn away. Keep coaxing, keep investigating what God is saying in the silence.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you feel when God is silent? Leave your comment below.

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The Stress Of Keeping People Waiting

It’s never nice to keep people waiting. There are some people you should never keep waiting, like the human resources person who’s going to interview you for a job.

waiting

When someone is left waiting, it says they don’t matter, or they are unimportant, or you don’t care.

… My wife keeps me waiting almost every time we go out together, but somehow that doesn’t seem to bother her very much because she keeps on doing it. But that’s another blog.

There are times when I panic when it looks like I’m not going to make an appointment on time. I usually feel this way when I’m in the car, rushing to make it to my destination so that I don’t keep the person waiting. I might have my foot heavy on the gas but I just can’t get there fast enough.

It’s not a nice feeling.

The other day I had that feeling in church. We had set up a Skype video chat to take place during our service with a missionary couple in Spain.

There were a few technical things to consider, like getting the video chat from the computer to the big screen in the sanctuary, and getting the sound to go through the church sound system.

Since all that was taken care of, I thought all I had to do was make the call. That’s when the trouble started. My Skype program wouldn’t connect online! I had a few minutes during a song to make the call but I started to panic when it couldn’t connect.

I was really feeling the pressure to get the call going. The silence in the sanctuary raised my blood pressure, and all at the same time I was trying to think of what to do to get the call to go through and what I needed to say to the congregation.

I knew I was keeping my congregation waiting but I was also aware that I was keeping the couple on the other end of the scheduled Skype call waiting too. And they had no idea what was happening on our end.

We quickly went to a commercial break … not really … I wished we could have gone to a commercial. Instead we took up the offering and sang a song.

That gave me time to reset the modem and router, and we took one last stab at it. It wasn’t immediate but after a little fiddling and some assistance, we got the call to work.

The stress, pressure, and panic left me immediately … I don’t think that was good for my heart.

They say that playing hockey is hard on the heart because you get your heart rate up really high and then you go and sit on a bench and your heart rate drops like a rock.

Well, I think that’s what happened to me. My heart rate and everything else in me was racing … until I saw that video on the screen.

… And it was all over keeping people waiting. It’s not nice to keep them waiting, and when we do, we often feel pressured.

Here’s the thing: God wants to meet with us each day, but we keep Him waiting when we don’t make our appointment. Maybe we don’t feel the pressure, or don’t have the panic, but God is waiting. I’m not saying we should feel guilty when we don’t make that meeting with Him. Our meeting can take a different form at a different time. What I am saying is the same importance you would place on not keeping others waiting is the the same importance we should place on meeting with God daily.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: Have you ever felt pressured or panicked when keeping someone waiting? Leave your comment below.

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What’s Truly Amazing About Grace 

This is an edited re-post of a blog I published on May 26, 2012. Enjoy.

Let me give you a little insight into my world. Grace is big in a pastor’s life. Most people think pastors are official grace givers at any event.

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At dinner, about 98 percent of the time (a made up stat), people will look to the pastor to say grace.

At wedding receptions, banquets, barbecues, family gatherings, dinner out with friends, anywhere food is being served, probably the pastor will be asked to say grace.

Sometimes I can see the whole thing unfold.

Just before the meal the host will scan the room.  At this point, I can read their mind: they’re thinking, “Whom can I get to say grace?”

Then they spot me, their eyes get big, the expression on their face changes from concern to relief, a smile appears, and then the head nod that says, “ah yes, the pastor. Why didn’t I think of him before?” Then they make a b-line to me.

Actually, I count it an honour to say grace in public.  A few years ago my old high school celebrated its 50th anniversary (not that I was in high school 50 years ago).

I received a phone call asking if I was planning on attending, and if so, would I say grace at the gala dinner banquet.

Based on their knowledge of me in high school, they would never have asked me, but now that I’m a pastor, saying the grace was a perfect job for me.

There are some people who think the pastor has a corner on grace and not just saying it.  I’ve had many people ask me to put in a good word for them with the “Big Guy”.

There have been times where people have made a comment like, “well, you know, he has God on his side.” I could go on, but you get the idea: people think pastors are grace sayers and grace receivers.

One day after I’d had a heart attack a few years back a neighbour said to me, “You having a heart attack? You have to wonder about that.”

He said it as if he didn’t think bad things happened to pastors, or he was questioning what I did to get God mad at me, like maybe I didn’t have God’s grace on my life.

That bothered me because usually people see pastors as being on the good side of grace. I wanted to say, “Wait a minute!  The fact that I’m still here, standing and breathing is a sign I’m on the good side of grace.”

Grace is an amazing thing. It can be spoken as a thanks to God, it can be used as a name (I have a niece named Grace).  It can be given, as undeserved favour, and it can be withheld as punishment. Grace is pretty versatile.

Here’s the thing: The real amazing thing about grace is that we are ALL on the good side of it.  God sent Jesus, His only son, to us as an instrument of grace.  What we need to do is make sure we have received God’s grace by believing in Jesus and claiming him as Lord … and then, live out our days serving Him, knowing that nothing we have done, said, thought or contributed has any merit towards us being recipients of God’s grace. It is God’s unmerited favour on us.  That is truly amazing!

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What ways do you see the grace of God showing up in your life?  Leave a comment below.

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How To Judge A Restaurant

There is more to a restaurant than the food. The last couple of weeks, my wife Lily and I have eaten out more than we normally do.

jesmond-restaurant

We’ve eaten out in restaurants from Quebec City to Sauble Beach and I’ll tell you the food that is served has a huge impact on the whole experience.

But almost equally as important as the food is the service. In fact, I would say the service contributes about 50 percent to the eating out adventure.

In our travels, we’ve run the gamut. However, there is a general rule that the finer the restaurant, the better the service. The operative word there is “general”; it’s not always the case, but it is the usual fare.

When fine dining, you have to consider the decor and ambiance, for they are just as crucial to the whole experience as the food and service. … We had an amazing dinner in Old Quebec City that had all the elements working together in perfect harmony.

But we’ve had a couple of less than perfect experiences as well. For instance, the other night we chose to eat out in one of the fabulous restaurants in Sauble Beach. (There are only three.)

In that establishment service was at a minimum. The server took a while to even come by our table to acknowledge our presence in their fine establishment.

While service was at a minimum, water was obviously at a premium because of how long it took our waitress to get it to our table – not to mention that we discovered that water was not refillable … because she never refilled our glasses!

The food was okay for me, but not very good for Lil. And though Lily went on about the food, it was equally the service that made for an unenjoyable time.

When it came time for the bill, we couldn’t get out of the place fast enough. I started the process and received a kick from under the table. A bruise would come about from that kick and it would be in the shape of letters that read, “Don’t give her a good tip.”

I felt those words before I could read them, so I slashed what I normally tip in half.

My daughter once worked in the restaurant business so I know how important tips are to servers. I normally give 20%, but this gal only got 10 from us.

I rarely do that, but she really worked hard at making me feel it was the right thing to do.

In golf they say that putting is half the game. You take the same number of shots to travel a few hundred yards as you do to get the ball to travel 30 feet into the hole.

In the restaurant business it’s the same thing. If you’ve got a great menu but lousy service, it’s not going to appeal to too many people.

We’re now down to frequenting two restaurants in Sauble.

Here’s the thing: There are a lot of people who have prayed to receive Jesus Christ as their saviour, yet their life has not changed very much. They have a hard time identifying how they have grown in Christ. That’s because a decision to follow Christ is not all there is to it. It’s not merely a decision we make; it’s incorporating that decision into everyday living that creates the atmosphere for a changed life – a life that truly has been saved by Christ. Make sure your life embodies what you claim to be true, Jesus as your Lord.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you do when you see inconsistencies in your life? Leave your comment below.

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When Something Important Is Kept From You

Have you ever thought that something had been kept from you? You know, when you were little and you caught bits and pieces of a conversation your parents were having?

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You were dying to know what they were talking about, but you were not permitted to hear the details. They kept them from you.

Have you ever thought God might do that with us from time to time?

… Like when two disciples were walking with Jesus and they didn’t realize it was him until after he left them? The Bible says “then their minds were opened”.

A couple of days ago we came up to our cottage to spend a week. It was still April and this was the first time we were up since we closed the place in the fall.

On arrival everything looked in order. It was nice to see the digs had stood up to the winter and won!

We turned everything back on but when I went to turn on the furnace, because it was still April, and it is Sauble Beach, I got no heat.

The furnace came on; I could hear the roar of the blower. I heard the click of the igniter to fire up the furnace, but all that came out of the ducts was cool air.

I checked everything, the switch, the circuit breaker, the gas. It was all working but still no heat.

I worked for about two hours in the cold; I was chilled and frustrated. I couldn’t think of anything else I could do. It had to be a furnace problem; I would have to call a service guy.

But that would be in the morning, and we needed a way to keep warm that night! I borrowed a space heater from my brother’s cottage, and Lily and I went out for dinner, so that I could get warm.

And just to make sure we were going to be warm enough, we also bought a space heater of our own.

That night we were warm alright – almost too warm. In the middle of the night we had to shed some of the covers that we had piled on the bed.

The next morning when I woke up, I lay in bed and an idea popped into my brain. I think God put it there. I think I was kept from that thought the night before.

As I lay in bed, I remembered that we had put duct tape over the furnace exhaust vents in the fall. I realized there probably was a safety feature on the furnace that wouldn’t allow it to fire up if the vents were blocked.

I jumped out of bed, went outside, took off the tape, came back in and “budda boom, budda bing” the furnace worked like a charm.

I shared the tale with some people who told me that a guy had done the same thing years ago, and almost died of carbon monoxide poisoning! They got him out just in time. Wow! Thanks, God.

Here’s the thing: Sometimes we’re blocked from getting what we need. God may have a reason for keeping things from us. Be aware that blockages are possible, and when you’re frustrated, seek God. Determine to obey Him and ask Him to reveal what the blockage is and how to remove it.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: When was the last time you felt frustrated and blocked from something you needed? Leave your comment below.

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Old Friends Don’t Get Old

Old friends never get old. Well, I guess they do get older, but it’s never old being with them again.

Memory Lane

When you’re with old friends, you talk about things that happened a long time ago and you remember them as if they just happened. You relive the past in the present time.

There is a sense that time stands still when you are with old friends. Even though we don’t have the same physique we once had, and parts of our bodies don’t work as well as they used to, somehow we are able to see ourselves in alter states of say 20 or 30 years in the past.

It’s a curious thing. But much like the size of the fisherman’s catch that got away, our stories seem bigger and better. They amuse and excite others; we get built up in their eyes … or at least our own eyes.

It’s not that it happens all the time. The mood or the atmosphere has to be right to bring back the past in such technicolour, with such glory.

It happened just the other day. Lily and I were with an old friend we went to Bible College with. We’d been watching hockey on TV and I can’t even tell you how the conversation got started.

But one memory connected to another and soon the TV was off (after the game of course), and we were into full-blown nostalgia mode.

You could see it in the eyes and expressions of our kids as they listened on and on to stories they had been part of – tales that were foggy at best in their minds, but were now developing real substance and a vivid image in their newly refined memories.

Some of those stories will be told to their children; some of them will be acted out before their children with a bigger and better feel to them:

… The story of football games in the family room, how I fixed the score before we started, just to create tension and excitement in my kids till they almost burst.

… The stories of back when we were in school, the antics in the dorms that became legendary at the college. It was like we were the heroes of old, the past celebrities recounting life as it was when they were stars.

Those moments create a warm feeling that draws everyone in the room closer together like there is some secret information that they are now privileged to care for … like they’ve been invited into the inner circle.

You just don’t want those times to end; you wish they could continue forever. You want to talk and listen, and continue to light up the eyes of your kids. But you realize that you’re not that age any more. You get tired and can’t pull the all-nighters of the olden days.

You snap back to the reality of the present, and become cognisant that you are thirty pounds heavier, your hair is thinning, and you don’t look anything like the guy in the stories.

But it was great to go back there for a while.

Here’s the thing: You can remember the past, visit the past, make the past seem bigger and better than real life. But you can’t bring the past back to life; you can’t live in the past. So let the past teach you; let it inspire you to live in the present in such a way that you will want to bring colour to this present again. And may God be glorified in those memories.

Question: What were the circumstance that led to your last memory fest? Leave your comments below.

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You Need A Good Navigator In Life

When you get married, one thing you should look for in your spouse is their aptitude for navigation. We all need good navigators in life and when you’re traveling, it’s especially important.

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It’s not easy to figure out if your spouse or spouse-to-be is a good navigator because usually navigating is done in collaboration.

If you’re traveling by car, you both read the signs, and talk about the route and advantages of traveling one way over another. You can actually go for years without really knowing if your spouse is a good navigator.

But when you find yourself in a situation where you don’t speak the language, and can’t read the signs, that’s when you find out what kind of navigating skills your spouse has.

We just got back from a trip to Quebec City and Lily navigated the way; she also can speak a little bit of French.

I have to say, there were times when she let me down. We had to make a few “back around agains” to correct a few navigational mistakes.

There were even a couple of times when she didn’t know what to do, so I just made a turn and miraculously got us going in the right direction.

One quality of a good navigator is their ability to be decisive. My navigator sounded decisive every time she said something. However, she would correct herself several times on every instruction, each time with great authority in her voice.

One time we were on a highway that was dividing. You had to choose: stay left or take the right ramp. It’s always best to be in the middle lane in these situations; that way you have the option of going left or right.

However, with the back and forth decision making, “stay left .  . . no, go right . . . wait, ya I think we should go left”, I felt like I was stick-handling up the ice, trying to deke the defenseman in front of me. … only the defenseman turned out to be several plastic barrels filled with sand or water that were in between the division of the highway.

I narrowly swerved around the lead barrel and took the left passageway, just like my navigator instructed, with mere seconds to spare.

I wiped the sweat from my brow, and only then did she look up from her google maps to see I was on the right road. She completely missed the move I put on those barrels.

There were other times that Lily’s navigating skills got us directly to the place we wanted to go. Every day was a new assignment for her, every trip into Quebec City from our Mont-Sainte-Anne headquarters was a fresh adventure.

All in all, Lily did a great job navigating us in and around Quebec City. If I had to do it all over again, I’d still pick her as my navigator.

Here’s the thing: We all need a good navigator in our lives – not just someone to help us get to a driving destination; we need a navigator for life. It’s best to choose a navigator who can speak the language and preferably has  already been where you want to go. We have that navigator in Jesus Christ, who is more than willing to help us negotiate the most difficult of turns and circumstances we will face along the way in life. Why don’t we consult Him more often? Why don’t we rely on Him all the time? Don’t keep going on your own; turn to Christ to help you navigate your way through this life.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What keeps you from seeking Christ’s help in navigating your life? Leave your comment below.

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Make Good On Your Promise

In my last blog, I wrote about how saying “sorry” doesn’t make good on your promise to deal with the hurt one’s received. (Check out that blog here!)

credit card reward points

I just got a new credit card for the precise purpose of collecting reward points. This will eventually enable me to purchase a new cell phone on points.

The reason the credit card company was trying to communicate how terribly sorry they were is because they declined my card on my third purchase … MY THIRD PURCHASE!

My card is through Rogers Bank, and why wouldn’t they have a bank? They own television stations, a cable company, an internet service, and a cell phone provider. They need a bank.

My first purchase on the card was for $24 at Swiss Chalet for a meal with my wife and son. With my initial purchase I got 5,000 points, and that’s $50 towards a new phone.

Two days later, I followed that purchase up with one for about $100 to my auto mechanic. That’s the first time I’ve actually been slightly disappointed that my repair bill was so low.

I had anticipated a bill of around $300-$500 and in my head I was thinking cha-ching – rewards points, come to papa!

You can imagine my dismay now that my bill will be getting me less than half the points I had pre-calculated.

The very next day we had scheduled a hot water tank replacement. I specifically told Lily we would be using my new card since the purchase would be around $1000 and I would pocket about two thousand points for the purchase.

That’s when Rogers Bank ran out of money. I just started with the guys, but they weren’t expecting me to purchase something over $500, I guess.

I have a limit of $10,000 on the card – you’d think they would allow me to put that much on it … I only wanted a thousand.

Their reason for declining my card was that it was out of my regular pattern.

I replied to the guy on the phone, “Out of my regular pattern?! How can I have a pattern?! I just got the card four days ago and this is my third purchase!”

Of course, he was very sorry for the inconvenience, “and the embarrassment” I added.

I’m not sure Rogers Bank is going to make it. The guy I talked to couldn’t give me rewards points for my lost points on the declined purchase. His supervisor also didn’t have the authority to give me those rewards points.

These Rogers rewards points must really be worth a lot or they are running this bank on a shoestring.

It’s been four days since my decline, eight days since I’ve had my card. I haven’t seen any reward points yet – not the bonus points I was promised and no word from the president of Rogers as to whether they will break their piggy bank and give me some “sorry” points. I’m waiting . . . patiently.

Heres the thing: Have you promised God that you’d give Him your life? But you’ve actually kept control of some or a good portion of it for yourself? All that does is cause Him to question your sincerity. Make good on your promises and let Him lead. Don’t frustrate God’s plan by holding back and not giving Him everything you promised.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What are you most tempted to hold back from giving to God? Leave your comment below.

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I Wish My Printer Could Talk

Last week my printer stopped working. A red light came on indicating there was a serious problem.

360 printer

My printer is not that old so I was a little upset thinking that I might have to replace it. If you’ve had to replace a printer, or even purchase ink or toner for a printer, you’re probably having the same gulping reaction right now that I had when that red light came on.

Now I didn’t panic – I know there are things you can do to trick a printer into extracting ink on a page beyond its normal capabilities.

If it’s a laser printer, you can take the toner cartridge out and shake it from side to side, and that usually extends your printing ability for at least another hundred pages or so.

If it’s an inkjet printer, the best trick is just to buy another printer because you will pay more for replacement ink than you will for a new printer!

We have a colour laser printer; I really like it, but it’s more complicated than a plain monochrome printer. When the red light came on, unfortunately it didn’t speak up for itself and tell me exactly what was wrong.

In the Bible God caused Balaam’s donkey to speak, to inform Balaam about serious danger ahead. … It didn’t matter how long I looked at that red light or abused the buttons on the machine, no word came forth to tell me what was wrong!

I had to resort to the manual, which of course was not printed, though you might think that a company that makes printers would print their manual.

I found the manual online and looked up troubleshooting. It was a pretty weak troubleshooting section because it didn’t seem to cover the red light problem I was having.

I had to resort to google. I typed in my question and it was there that I found the solution to my problem.

My printer doesn’t just have toner cartridges that need to be replaced when they are empty; my printer also has a toner waste container that needs to be replaced when it’s full.

Get that – the printer has you coming and going. It’s like double dipping in the printer world!  They charge for toner AND they charge to take the residue away.

What I needed to purchase was a new toner waste container before my printer would work again.

I have lots of toner; I can print for another half a year or more before I will need to replace any.  But I couldn’t print because I had to remove the waste the toner leaves behind.

Once I found that out, I was off to the store. I found a container that looked just like mine except the number was different and it seemed bigger. I looked harder and found the right one.

That’s right, the one I needed was smaller and ten dollars more! Figures.

Here’s the thing:  Life can be complicated, difficult to figure out. Often we try our own solutions (tricks) to get us back on track again. Some solutions may work for a little while. But when a red light shows up in your life the best thing to do is investigate with God what the root issue is that needs to be solved. Let Him reveal that to you and help you find the right solution.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you tried to solve yourself rather than seek God’s help? Leave your comment below.