Author: Paul Silcock

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I’m Not In The Shape I Should Be In

The summer is coming to an end and it’s time to get myself back into shape … and when I say shape, I’m not just talking about my physical shape, though that needs some work.

not in shape

Over the summer I have kind of abandoned several things that I really need to get in line again – things that will improve my physical shape and also help me do my job and generally be more at peace.

… Much like a student in junior high or high school who, over the summer, has slept in every day, has stayed up late, spent more time with friends and basically felt free. Now that school is starting, they have to turn themselves to the routines of life being in school.

I remember those high school days when I would stay up late at night. I’d stop off at Country Style Donuts after my evening job and eat a dozen donuts. I’m not talking about timbits or donut holes – I mean I would buy a dozen jelly-filled donuts and down them in one sitting! 

I remember one summer when it was really hot, I’d walk to the nearest convenience store and buy a dozen popsicles (about 10 cents each). I’d come home with a variety of flavours. I wouldn’t even put them in the freezer; I just ate them all before they melted.

I would also sleep in every morning until 11:30 and still feel groggy. 

That was life until school started again. Then it was time to get back to some routines of life.

Now there are two main areas I must attend to to get myself in shape for this coming fall and winter season. 

Discipline is one of them.

I haven’t been consistent with exercising, which in turn has not helped my physical shape. To add to that, I have not been very disciplined in what I’ve eaten.  

The thing is I’m not really happy with how I feel right now. I know as soon as I hit the ice, I will not be happy about how I feel playing hockey either.

But my discipline has to extend past exercise and food. I also need to be disciplined with my time … especially my bedtime.

Being disciplined with how much sleep I get will pay huge dividends when it comes to my overall mental and emotional shape. I don’t mean that I’m weeping at sappy, romantic movies that Lily tricks me into watching. I mean I can deal with and handle work and home with much more efficiency.

… Which brings me to the second thing I need: focus. 

Getting enough sleep helps my focus, but for a guy with ADD, I also need to employ a few tricks I’ve developed over the years to keep me focussed. 

These tricks involve doing the right things at the right time for the right amount of time and to have a plan of what I expect to accomplish.

That’s what I need to get myself back in shape. And I need to start today!

Here’s the thing: What will you do when you drift from God, or find yourself hit and miss with your time with Him, or if you’ve found that sin has crept into your daily life and lives there, or you have become distracted from the Lord by some other interest? What will bring you back is discipline and focus. Just start today and you will see amazing changes immediately.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you need to work on: more discipline or focus? Leave your comments and questions below.

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My Peace Was Interrupted

Have you ever gotten away for some peace and quiet, to a place where you can relax and think clearly, only to have your peace interrupted with noise?

My Peace Was Interrupted

That happened to me the other day.

I made my annual trip to our cottage to think, pray and plan for the year ahead. One reason I go there is that I relax well there, and the other reason is that it is quiet.

Albeit the occasional noise of a lawnmower or circular saw breaks the quiet, but for the most part it is very peaceful. All our neighbours are seniors or their kids have grown up. Lily and I are the young ones in our little section.

But last year, near the end of the summer, a family moved in just kiddy-corner to us. This family broke the pattern. They have two young children, somewhere between 3 and 7. 

I remember having kids that age, but what I don’t remember is how loud they were. … either that or this is the loud family! It seems like it’s party central all the time at their place. The kids are up early and the parents are up late.

There is nothing wrong with it most of the time – except when I’m here specifically to be quiet, reflective, to think and plan.

When our kids were young, I never thought of how loud we were as a family – especially the kids. Kids’ high pitched voices without a volume control makes for some serious noise.

Even if an adult is loud, the lower tone in their voice usually only leads to muffled noise. With kids, however, you can hear every word distinctly and clearly.

Kids are busy, too. They are not going to just sit and read. … I’m not even sure one of the neighbour kids is old enough to read. 

These kids want action! They want entertainment! And they want it all the time! 

Right now there is a road hockey game going on at 10:00 in the morning right outside my window.  

It’s summer here in vacation land – who’s playing street hockey right now? 

Growing up I played plenty of road hockey. We played mostly in the spring and then in the fall. In the heat of the summer we were down at the river catching frogs or something. 

I realize that some kids are louder than others. Some instinctively play quietly. They play with each other. 

But these kids need to be yelling and they need their parents involved. All their play is a big production. 

They have two full-sized hockey nets on the road right now. I don’t think the game is going that well for the oldest kid because he’s telling everyone that the game is over. 

No one seems to be paying attention to him, however, so he keeps reminding the adults and his sister over and over again as they play around him. 

It’s noisy, but it’s also Saturday morning. They didn’t arrive until last night … and I’m leaving in an hour or so. 

So glad they were not up for the week.

Here’s the thing: You can do your best at setting up a quiet place to spend time with God. But what you still may have to battle is how loud your thoughts are, and how distracted your mind can get. Sometimes you just have to work through those noisy sessions and find a way to focus. 

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What distracts you the most when you are spending time with God? Leave your comments and questions below. 

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Listening To A Presentation Is Not That Easy

While I’m away on my study planning week, I am posting a blog article I wrote in August of 2014. I hope you enjoy this one.

As a giver of presentations, I’m not often on the listening end of them. So the other day in church, when I was listening to someone give the message, I found my mind going in lots of directions. 

presentation, listening,

It’s not easy to listen; it’s difficult to stay engaged with the speaker.

I noticed first off that the message was going to be about light. I knew that because, before the pastor got up to preach, they showed a video about Christ being the light of the world. 

The video was good and I wanted to know more about this light show that he was going to talk about. I started looking at the lights on stage and thought it was cool how they could change colour.  

But I also noticed how dark the auditorium was and thought they could throw a little more light on the platform.  

At the beginning of the message, the pastor read the passage and I noticed it was particularly long and filled with a host of possible ideas. I began to wonder how he was going to handle this length of text.  

I couldn’t help myself thinking that I would make this passage into a series and preach several sermons from it. 

The preacher was doing pretty good – people laughed when he said something funny – but I started getting concerned that he wasn’t talking about light as much as other things. 

I wanted him to come back to the light in two ways: I wanted him to step into the light – like a spotlight or something – so I could see him better, and I wanted him to tell me more about the impact of Christ being the light of the world.  

I also started to wonder if this message was something that he got on the internet and was re-preaching or if it was something he wrote himself and really believed. I spent a little time trying to tell if he really owned his message.  

My seat was at such an angle that I could see people sitting across the auditorium. I looked at them to see if they were listening, day dreaming, bored, or engaged in what he was saying. 

I saw a few nods of the head and could tell they agreed with what was being said. But there was this one guy whose nodding looked more like a guy on a hot bus is trying to stay awake after a long day at work!  

And while I was thinking about all that, I realized something similar happens to all the people who are listening to me preach every week. . . . It’s a tough job to give a presentation!

Here’s the thing: It’s easy to settle into a presentation and start thinking about all kinds of things related and unrelated to what is being said. It’s easy because you don’t have to apply it to yourself. You don’t have to think deeply and personally about the material. But the idea of a presentation is that it is for your personal benefit. It’s for you, your ministry, your work, or your personal development.  

So, though all kinds of thoughts come to distract you, to keep you from applying the message, your job as a presentation listener is to focus on how it has a bearing on you. Keep three questions running through your mind while you listen: 1. What is true here for me? 2. God, what are you saying to me? 3. What am I now going to do with this?

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you stay focussed in a presentation? You can leave your comment below.

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This Old News Had A Profound Impact On Me

From time to time I publish previously published posts. Todays post is from August 2015. Enjoy!

WHEN you hear about something can have a profound effect on how it impacts you. What I mean is, if you hear about something right when it happens, as opposed to six months after the fact, you process that information differently.

profound, impact,

Quite often when we hear about something long after it happened, we blow it off as not important or relevant any more … like if you heard that the government was going to remove all tax at the gas pumps for just one day on July 15 … and you heard the news on August 24th. 

Today’s gas prices without tax would be around 78 cents a litre! It’s a far cry from the 34 cents a gallon I paid when I got my driver’s licence, but wouldn’t 78 cents a litre be nice right now?

Not only is that news irrelevant after the fact, but you’d feel a little annoyed just hearing about it now since you completely missed out on the greatest gas prices since about 1986. 

On the other hand, your reaction would have been hand-rubbing, night-before-Christmas-like, if you had heard this information two days before the sale.

Not all old information is irrelevant, however; sometimes old information makes you think “what if”. 

That’s what happened to me the other day. I was at my usual wing joint, picking up a pound of hot wings with Franks’ Red Hot Sauce (they’re the best), when I bumped into another customer who I knew and had played hockey with a few years back.

He told me that one of the guys we played with had recently died. I was shocked, but it hit me even harder to find out he had committed suicide. 

Now I didn’t do anything outside of hockey with him, but we were buds on the bench. We always chatted while we were playing and in the dressing room. We talked about family, health and my work. 

I probably played hockey with him about two weeks before he died. All I knew was he had to start taking pills for high blood pressure and we had compared medications. 

I didn’t hear this about Leo until six months after he passed away, but it left me deeply saddened. I began to wonder if I could have said something or should have said something that might have made a difference. 

I wondered if I had missed an opportunity to share Christ with him. I checked my calendar to see what I was doing around the time of his death.

This old news bothered me. It bothers me now.

This guy seemed content with life. He had retired just a couple of years before and seemed pretty happy and easy going. 

This was old news that has made an impact, old news that caused me to think, “what if”. But it’s old news and I can’t do anything about it. 

Here’s the thing: At some point the message of the gospel will be old news; it will be irrelevant. That day will be the day someone dies without Christ or Christ returns. Until that time in a person’s life, the gospel message is current and relevant. Who would this news – this good news – make a difference to today, or tomorrow or next week? Get the word out. Jesus is saving lives today!

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: Who do you need to talk to about the good news of Jesus? Leave your comment below.

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It Will Develop Into Something

The other week I shot some video with my drone that took time to develop into something.

develop Polaroid

Remember the Polaroid cameras? They’ve made a little bit of a fad/retro comeback of late. 

I was at a wedding recently where the couple encouraged people to take selfies with an instant camera and place the pictures in a scrapbook for their memories.

The instant camera or Polaroid was interesting because you would take a picture of something – something that caught your attention, something that you wanted to capture and remember. You then watched as the picture was ejected from the camera, totally blank at first. 

You knew what you had taken a picture of, but you waited rather impatiently for that picture to develop right before your eyes. You wanted to see if the picture turned out, if it was as good as you hoped it would be. 

Well, I kind of did that with my drone the other day. 

I saw an old, abandoned barn in a field and I was somehow drawn to it. I wanted to take a video of it with my drone. 

There was a small farm house near it so I was cautious. I actually drove past it several times before I determined that the home was abandoned as well. 

One morning, just as the sun was rising above the horizon, I drove to the barn, parked my vehicle on the side of the road and sent my drone off to capture video of this lonely, old barn in the middle of a field.

I really didn’t know what I was going to do with the footage. I just knew that something was attracting my attention to it and I wanted to film it from several angles.

When I was done, I loaded the video on my computer … but there it sat. 

I scrubbed (scrolled) through the footage a few times and liked the shots I took, but didn’t think it would be all that interesting to just add music to it. 

Then about a week after I shot the video I got an idea. I was thinking about the barn and how lonely and empty it looked. I thought there are people who probably feel like that barn looked. 

So, with a little imagination and a little inspiration from my video, I wrote a short script about the barn.

My video was now developing into something. 

I found some music that kind of fit the mood, and recorded my voice reading my script. I cut up and spliced footage, and made some adjustments in places to the colour and speed of the video.

When I had done all that I noticed that it was something. That barn I was attracted to, that video I had had high hopes for, had turned into something. 

It took longer than a Polaroid to appear, but that video footage eventually turned into something I had hoped it would.

You can view that video by clicking here.

Here’s the thing: At some point in your life you might wonder what your life is all about. You may wonder if there is anything that will develop from it. I want to assure you that your life can develop into something bigger than you imagined it would. It can if you trust Jesus to help you develop it. Some may need to start a relationship with Jesus to get things going. Some of you just need to trust Jesus with the development of your life instead of hanging on to the raw footage. Trust Him to develop all those happy, sad, thrills, scares, wows, and ughs you’ve experienced. The end product will be worth it.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you hoped your life would develop into? Leave your comments and questions below.

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I Lost My Wife For A Moment

I almost lost my wife the other day … well, I did for a moment or two.

lost my wife

Someone can be right there beside you and then, in a moment, they can be gone. 

There is always that sick feeling with kids when, all of a sudden, things go silent. 

I remember a time when our kids were very young, about 3 and 5. I was at the mall with them shopping for a birthday present for Lily.

I asked a salesperson about a dress I was looking at possibly purchasing, while Karlie and Mike were playing in and around the clothing racks.  

As I was listening to the salesperson tell me about the dress, all of a sudden I realized I didn’t hear my kids. I started looking around and calling their names.  

Immediately panic set in. I excused myself from the conversation with the salesperson and started to take off in one direction. 

This was no ordinary mall I was in. I was at West Edmonton Mall, the largest mall in North America at the time. 

I was literally running past stores with no hint of where they might be. 

Suddenly I just felt like I was going in the wrong direction. I turned around and started running in the other direction, past the store I had been in. 

Then I spotted them. They had stopped and had half turned towards me, with these mischievous grins on their faces. As soon as they saw me running for them, they took off as fast as they could.

I caught them in seconds, hugged them and told them never to do that again. They were oblivious to any danger; it was all fun for them.

Well, yesterday I was in the water at Sauble Beach on Lake Huron. The waves were high – highest I’ve seen in a number of years. 

Lily was with me but slightly behind me. It was difficult to wade out because the waves were so big and coming in so fast. 

I kept trudging through, collapsing to the sandy bottom as the big rollers came crashing on me. 

After a few minutes of this, I turned to say something to Lily. But she wasn’t there. 

I was shocked. She had been right behind me. Where could she have gone? I looked back to our chairs on the beach and couldn’t see her there. 

Then I spied her coming up from a wave about forty yards down from me. 

She made a motion to me like she was going back to shore. Relieved that she was all right, I kept on going. 

A few minutes later I looked to the shore and she wasn’t there. Now what happened? Where could she be?

I started looking around the water again and I spotted her. This time she was about forty yards on the other side of me. 

Apparently the waves were overpowering her and she thought she would try to drift over to me, if she could get out far enough.  

After a little body surfing and being hammered by the waves, we called it a day. I was glad to have her back.

Here’s the thing: We can get lost in our own little world just trying to make it through life, or we can purposely run from God. But God is never far from us. All it takes is for us to turn around and look. If you want to be found by Him, He is there. Run to Him.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What is going on in your life right now that should cause you to turn around and look for God? Leave you comments and questions below.

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Two Little Mistakes Cost Me

The other day, two little mistakes that I made in under five seconds generated over an hour of frustration. 

mistakes

Sometimes a mistake can be made over a long period of time – like when we have a couple of options, weigh each option, and finally decide on one … which later turns out to be the wrong one.  

Often mistakes happen in a blink of an eye. They happen so quickly we hardly notice we’ve made them until later.

Math class was great for those mistakes. You created a long formula to solve a problem, but made a tiny mistake near the beginning. You multiplied instead of divided. When the teacher took up the work, only then did you discover the mistake you had made that got you the wrong answer.

A little mistake can mess up everything that comes after it. 

I’ve done this with Sudukos where I’ve determined what number to put in a particular box, thinking that it was the only option. Then later I realized there were other numbers that could have gone in that box, and specifically a different number should have been there. 

My mistake – little mistake – messed up the whole Suduko for me.

The other day I was flying my drone. I got up early and drove to where I was going to video an old barn as the sun was rising in the sky. 

I had three batteries for my drone. The first one I used mostly before the sun had crested the horizon. The second battery I used as the sun was just peaking up over the trees in the distance. The third battery I used while the sun was fully up and shining brightly over the landscape.

I thought that the three flights would provide me with a great progression of shadows and light on the barn. 

… But I forgot to press the record button with the second battery and that whole flight was not recorded. 

It takes one second to hit that button but, because i didn’t, I lost 13 minutes of possible great footage.

Later in the day I decided to video a waterfall. I climbed down to the base of the falls and started shooting. I hit the record button and everything so I should have gotten some decent video. 

But when I got back home and started to import my footage onto my computer, I realized I had stopped the recording before I turned the drone off. 

… That mistake meant that the video hadn’t finished processing. The result was a corrupted file. I couldn’t use the video. 

Fortunately there was a software fix for this problem but it took me over an hour to get the video back. 

My mistake was only about one second long – I just needed to hit a button to stop the recording. 

Two mistakes – mindless mistakes – became a real pain for me. 

When you think about how little time they take to make, we could make a lot of them in one day.

Here’s the thing: Think about how Jesus lived a perfect life. He could have made a mistake, committed one sin, so quickly that he only realized it after the fact, when it was too late. If Christ had made even one mistake, he would not have been able to be our sacrifice. He was a one second mistake away from messing up God’s plan. But he didn’t. Not even once did he even inadvertently sin. He was perfect. Today think about how amazing Christ is. 

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How has Christ’s perfection benefitted you? Leave your comments and questions below.

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The Extra Mile Made For A Long Day

Sometimes you just have to go the extra mile … and when I say the “extra mile” I really mean a whole lot of miles.

extra mile

Yesterday my wife, Lily, and I went on a road trip. They make movies out of these sorts of events. … I don’t think our road trip will make the movies, but it was quite a trip. 

We were on vacation but I needed to return home to do a funeral for a dear lady in my church. 

Here’s a question: How far would you travel for someone else? 

That question was asked a long time ago in the 60’s by a cigarette company called Camel. They ran an ad where they asked the question, “How far would you travel for a Camel?”

And that’s right, they used to advertise for cigarettes in newspapers, magazines and on television. Those ads didn’t even come with a warning from the surgeon general.

It was a different era back then. But the question in the commercial was to entice smokers to think that going out of their way to purchase Camel cigarettes was worth it. 

It was worth it for us to take that road trip yesterday. It was a chance for me to speak to a family about the hope they can have because of Christ, despite the sadness of their day.

We set out from our cottage at 5:30 am and drove to Kingston. It’s almost 500 km, and it takes about 5 hours to drive. 

We knew we would have to drive through Toronto during rush hour and so we decided to take the toll road that goes above the city. It helped make that part of the trip painless. The pain will come later when we get the bill from the 407 ETR.  

We spent the next six hours in Kingston. It was like I was back to work and done with vacation. 

Many people I saw asked me how our vacation was going, but I wanted to reply, “Wait – I’m still on vacation?” 

Yes, I was back home, and at the church where you would usually find me when I’m working, but I was still very much on vacation. 

Most people try to avoid doing work when they’re on vacation. Some people even have automated email messages letting everyone know that they are away and will not respond until they get back. Some even say they won’t respond – period. You better email them again when they return.

Certainly I try not to work when I’m on vacation, but for some things, for some people, you have to make an exception.  

This family was an exception I was willing to go that extra mile for.

When it was all done, the sun was still high in the sky, about 3:45 in the afternoon. And though we had originally thought we would stay overnight at home and return to the cottage in the morning, we decided to head right back.

We figured the drive would be an extra long one because it was the start of a long weekend, but the trip ended up being as easy as the one we had taken in the morning.  

We arrived back at the cottage at 9:30 pm, sixteen hours after we had left. 

We were back on vacation.

Here’s the thing: Christ went the extra mile for all of us. He died on a cross to pay for our sins and rose again to offer us a relationship with God and eternal life. Was it worth it? It definitely was. But for us to benefit from what Christ did, we each have to have a relationship with Him. Make sure you’re benefitting from all that Christ did for you.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you gone the extra mile for lately? Leave your comments and questions below.

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My Face Isn’t All That Unique

I’m thinking there are only so many faces in the world … the rest are just variations of the same few faces.

Bobby Orr

I’ve come to this conclusion because I was recently mistaken for someone I am in no way related to.

I was walking up to the pro shop at a golf course I was about to play, when I noticed a group of four senior gentlemen standing around their golf carts.  

I noticed them because they were looking at me. In fact, it was more than just looking at me – they were staring at me … you know, with their mouths slightly open in that, “Is this who we think it is?” kind of stare.

I continued on like I didn’t notice them gawking at me and went into the clubhouse. 

I registered for my game and was just about to walk out the door when these four men came clambering in, almost trying to squeeze through the door at the same time. 

The first one blurted out, “Are you related to Bobby Orr?” 

If you know anything about hockey – if you’re a Canadian – you know who Bobby Orr is: one, if not THE greatest NHL defenseman of all time.

I immediately put their question to rest. “No”, I said, and kept moving. 

I could tell from how they were acting that they really thought I was Bobby Orr for a minute.

That was the first time anyone has thought my face and Orr’s face looked similar. 

Once someone thought I looked like Terry Fox, but that was back in the 70’s when I had long, curly hair. I had immediately lifted my leg back at the knee when they said it so I could be more convincing. 

 But that was from a distance; this was up close.  

I’ve never even met Bobby Orr – though I have a friend who has posted a picture  on his facebook page of him and his wife with Bobby.

My brother has met Bobby Orr. Years ago Orr shot a Planters Peanuts commercial for Hockey Night in Canada at the rink he was an assistant manager at.

Oh, and when I was young – about 9 or 10 – a guy took me to an OHA Oshawa Generals hockey game. He also gave me a black and white photo of Bobby who was about 17 at the time.  

I remember that when the guy handed me the photo he said, “Hang on to that. This kid is going to be a star.” 

I lost the photo a few years later. 

I never met Bobby Orr, but at least my sister-in-law got me his autograph. 

I did build a couple of cottages around Parry Sound one summer during my college days. I saw the larger than life image of Bobby on the “Welcome to Parry Sound; Home of Bobby Orr” sign coming into the city. 

Maybe I should practice Bobby’s signature … just in case … now that I’m looking more and more like a legend.

Here’s the thing: We can mistake something for the real thing. But when we mistake our good fortune or success in life for God’s blessing, we better take a second look. That good life you are experiencing may only be for this life. God’s real blessing is attached to a relationship with his Son and a future eternity that will last far longer that any good fortune we experience now. 

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What in your life do you need to take a second look at? Leave your comments and questions below.

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Our Driveway Looks Brand New

We got a new driveway in a matter of a few hours … and it didn’t cost us anything other that hard work and time.

driveway

At our cottage, our driveway is made of white gravel stones. When the light shines on those white stones it really looks great.

Over the years, however, weeds have somehow managed to creep up through the gravel and it has ruined the look altogether. 

So we’ve employed different methods to get rid of the weeds. 

We were told years ago that if we put some kind of cattle salt down on the gravel every year that would keep the weeds from growing. 

We did that for one or two years but then we noticed that a little tree beside the driveway had shrivelled up and died. Another tree looked like it was almost gone, and even a cedar shrub showed signs that it was dieting. 

I don’t know if it was the salt or not but we stopped using it immediately and, though we lost that one tree, the other tree survived with just one dead spot. The shrub is doing alright.  

The next method we tried was pulling the weeds that grew. But this didn’t do anything more than mask the problem for a time. 

If you don’t get at the roots, the weeds are still lurking just under the surface.

So after ten years we have been losing the battle of the weeds on our driveway.

I thought that maybe we needed another load of gravel to spread around, but I’m glad I never acted on that thought because what we found was truly amazing. 

Lily was outside picking some of the weeds out of the driveway when our neighbour saw her and told her his solution – he rakes his driveway.

He brought out the rake he uses and showed her what he does. 

I thought that because the weeds came up so easily that we had a thin layer of gravel covering the dirt underneath. Not so. We started to rake the gravel and after raking a good three or more inches deep, it was still all gravel. 

… Which, on the side, says something about weeds. Weeds can grow in the most extreme environments! They can work their way through three or four inches of hard packed gravel to get to sunlight. 

I wish the grass on our lawn worked that hard to provide us with a green carpet instead of the sparse, sandy sprouts that grow there.

It turns out that, when you rake down deep into a gravel driveway, you rake up not just the tops of the weeds but the roots as well. 

And, as you evenly spread the gravel back out over the driveway, it stays above the dirt, looking all fluffed up and sifted, like you just got a new load of gravel. 

It’s going to take a little while for the driveway to pack down again, but more importantly it will take a long while for those weeds to find their way through the gravel again. 

Here’s the thing: When you notice a sin or an unwanted trait that seems to be persistently presenting itself in your life, simply asking God for forgiveness is not enough. You need to dig deeper to uncover the root, why it’s persistent, and where it came from. When you get to the bottom of that sin or trait, then with God’s help you can keep it from showing up in your life.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What persistent sin do you need to dig up in order to be free of it?