my thoughts

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Why You Fail To Keep Commitments

The other day I was thinking about why it’s hard for many of us to keep commitments – especially the ones we make to ourselves.

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I believe people approach making commitments differently, and so for some it is easier to keep those commitments than it is for others. But it doesn’t have to be.

I’ve made a commitment to spend time with God each day at 6 am. Now I’m not perfect in that, but I would say that I keep that commitment most days and I’ve been doing it for years.

Someone else I know has made commitments over the years to exercising early in the morning. However, they have not been able to maintain that commitment over a long period of time.

My first piece of advice is you shouldn’t exercise that early in the morning – there is something seriously wrong with that concept! And in the words of Mr. T., “I pity the fool”.

But seriously, the difference I observed between my friend and I is not a commitment issue but how we treat conditions that are placed on our commitments.

To every commitment there are conditions that we either have to satisfy or dismiss in order to keep what we’ve committed to. And we deal with these conditions very differently.

You see, I get up every morning regardless of when I went to bed the night before, while my friend insists he gets 8 hours of sleep in order to get up early to exercise. So it is really the condition not his commitment level that determines whether he will follow through or not.

If he gets his sleep, he satisfies the condition, and he exercises; if not, he doesn’t. After he misses a few in a row because he didn’t get his sleep, it becomes harder and harder for him to keep the commitment. He eventually stops.

He needs to do one of two things with his condition: either dismiss it or satisfy it.

Some people have the ability to dismiss possible conditions so that they don’t get in the way of meeting their commitments. But for those who can’t do that, they must first satisfy the condition in order to consistently keep their commitments.

Foreseeing other possible conditions that may arise along the way is also important. For instance, what happens to your commitment if you are away on a trip somewhere?

If you put your commitment on hold, it will be hard to get back at it when you return home. You can dismiss the condition and keep getting up early, or you have to figure out a way to satisfy it while you’re away.

… And that will take some planning and possible preparation.

A major key to following through on your commitment is determining the conditions placed on the commitment and satisfying or dismissing them.

Here’s the thing: If you are having trouble committing to spending time with God, don’t focus on your lack of commitment as being the problem. Look at all the conditions you’ve placed on what you’ve committed to, evaluate them and either dismiss them or satisfy them. Then you will find you can regularly keep to spending time with God.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What has made keeping commitments difficult for you? Leave your comment below.

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Anybody Else Have Hair Issues?

This morning I looked in the mirror and realized I can’t keep up with the hair on my body. If you’re under 40 and reading this, right now you’re thinking, “That’s gross!” – maybe you even said it out loud. If you’re over 40, you probably just thought to yourself, “Ya, so what?”

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At the time I made this discovery, I was using my handy, battery-powered shaver for hair that grows on one’s ears (yes, they make something for that). And, as much as my son chuckles at all the hair I have on my body, there was a time when it wasn’t like that.

In my teens, I focussed growing hair on my head – and I did a pretty good job of it. I’d show you a picture, but for some reason I don’t have any pictures of myself when I was a teen. It’s too bad because I had some pretty good outfits back then to go with my hair!

My hair grew long and thick and people who cut my hair would say, “You’ll never go bald” … but I’m not so sure of that now.

You see, I’m still growing hair – and it grows long – but it’s not focussed on my head any more.  That part is thinning out. But I can grow some great patches of hair on my ears and back. I’m thinking of buying a mini lawnmower just to keep the hair on my back neatly trimmed.

Then there is the nose hair. I know that if I just left that to itself, I’d have a jungle in there. Even my eyebrows – I can grow some funky, long curly hairs there too.

What happened to me? One day you’re smirking at the gorilla guy on the beach, and the next day you ARE the gorilla guy on the beach!

I realize that people who read this and see me on a regular basis will start checking me out a little more closely. I’ll just warn you now, you’ll see some wild hair, because I’ve lost control of it.

One of the differences between men and women is that women have been plucking and pruning all their lives. But for guys to start doing that in their 40’s or 50’s, it’s too late to put that into our regular grooming routine. It just gets away on us sometimes.

You know when you see your lawn and think, “I should really cut the grass today”, but you’re so tired, you don’t?  And then it rains for the next three days and you have meetings in the evening for the next two after that.

By the time you cut your grass, it’s twice as long as it was when you originally noticed that it needed cutting.

That same scenario applies to trimming the hair on your body.

This morning I threw my hands up in defeat, and said, “I give up”.  I couldn’t even get myself to shave my face. Fortunately, it’s Saturday. I have work to do around the house, so no one’s going to see me anyway.

I’ll worry about getting all my hairs cut tomorrow . . .  I hope it doesn’t rain.

Here’s the thing: You can’t control how your hair grows as you get older, but you can control how your relationship with God grows. The tendency can be to coast and not take care of it. But don’t settle for that. Keep growing as you get older. Your relationship with the Lord doesn’t have to get old as you age. It can be fresh, exciting and new if you will tend to it.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What ways do you fight getting older? Leave your comment below.

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Why Anniversaries Are Special

Special days and anniversaries often come and go without giving them too much thought. There are, however, certain special days that are more special than others.

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Though every birthday is special, when someone turns 16 that’s extra special because they can obtain a driver’s license. At eighteen you are considered an adult and get to vote, so that’s special. Depending where you live, 19 or 21 is a special day for dubious reasons.

It seems that span of about five years is littered with extra special days. But after that, the special days like birthdays and anniversaries seem to come in 10 year periods like 30, 40, 50, et cetera.

Some people look forward to these special days; others pretend they didn’t happen.

It’s more likely that someone will want to hide the fact they have reached an age milestone, while being quite proud of reaching an anniversary achievement.

Yesterday I celebrated my 29th wedding anniversary with my wife, Lily. Twenty-nine is not one of those special anniversary dates – 30 is a big deal but 29 is just a run-of-the-mill anniversary.

It doesn’t even have a name or gift associated with it. I figured the gift for the 29th anniversary would be brunch at “Milestones” the restaurant.

It had to be something like that because I have to save up for next year’s anniversary which is “pearl”.

I had a great aunt named “Pearl” and it would’ve been nice to bring her over for tea or something on our 30th … she would be about 115 now. Auntie Pearl passed away 20 years ago so I can’t use her as my “pearl” gift to Lily on our 30th.

It’s a good thing I have a year to figure it out.

But getting back to this no-name 29th anniversary of ours. Though on the surface it doesn’t seem hardly worth getting a card to even acknowledge the day, it is in fact a very special anniversary to me.

On this day I have now been married for exactly half my life – the most recent half, I might add.

That’s significant. Think of all the years you grew up in your home with your family, and then all the years you hung out with friends and went to school, and the years you figured out what career you were going to go for.

Think of all the fun and hardships of the years you spend before you were married, the experiences and adventures, all the people, all the laughter, tears, worry.

Well, all of that, I’ve done all over again with Lily. It’s like I’ve lived life twice, once single and now a second time married.

So you see, my 29th anniversary is a special day. It should be called something, even at the very least, the “corrugated paper” anniversary.

Hey, that’s a great idea! I could get Lily a box, and I could fill the box with hope … hope that next year she’ll get a pearl on her anniversary.

Here’s the thing: Have you ever compared your life before Christ to the time you’ve spent with Him? The experiences, the adventures, the joys, laughter, tears and worry? Have you ever considered just how significant your life with Christ has been so far compared to your life before you knew Him? Take some time to reflect on that, and praise God for your relationship with Him.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What has been a particularly special date or memory you have had with Christ?  Leave your comment below.

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How To Listen To A Presentation 

As a giver of presentations, I’m not often on the listening end of them. So the other day in church, when I was listening to someone give the message, I found my mind going in lots of directions.

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It’s not easy to listen; it’s difficult to stay engaged with the speaker.

I noticed first off that the message was going to be about light. I knew that because, before the pastor got up to preach, they showed a video about Christ being the light of the world.

The video was good and I wanted to know more about this light show that he was going to talk about. I started looking at the lights on stage and thought it was cool how they could change colour.

But I also noticed how dark the auditorium was and thought they could throw a little more light on the platform.

At the beginning of the message, the pastor read the passage and I noticed it was particularly long and filled with a host of possible ideas. I began to wonder how he was going to handle this length of text.

I couldn’t help myself thinking that I would make this passage into a series and preach several sermons from it.

The preacher was doing pretty good – people laughed when he said something funny – but I started getting concerned that he wasn’t talking about light as much as other things.

I wanted him to come back to the light in two ways: I wanted him to step into the light – like a spotlight or something – so I could see him better, and I wanted him to tell me more about the impact of Christ being the light of the world.

I also started to wonder if this message was something that he got on the internet and was re-preaching or if it was something he wrote himself and really believed. I spent a little time trying to tell if he really owned his message.

My seat was at such an angle that I could see people sitting across the auditorium. I looked at them to see if they were listening, day dreaming, bored, or engaged in what he was saying.

I saw a few nods of the head and could tell they agreed with what was being said. But there was this one guy whose nodding looked more like a guy on a hot bus is trying to stay awake after a long day at work!

And while I was thinking about all that, I realized something similar happens to all the people who are listening to me preach every week. . . . It’s a tough job to give a presentation!

Here’s the thing: It’s easy to settle into a presentation and start thinking about all kinds of things related and unrelated to what is being said. It’s easy because you don’t have to apply it to yourself. You don’t have to think deeply and personally about the material. But the idea of a presentation is that it is for your personal benefit. It’s for you, your ministry, your work, or your personal development.

So, though all kinds of thoughts come to distract you, to keep you from applying the message, your job as a presentation listener is to focus on how it has a bearing on you. Keep three questions running through your mind while you listen: 1. What is true here for me? 2. God, what are you saying to me? 3. What am I now going to do with this?

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you stay focussed in a presentation? You can leave your comment below.

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When Silence Isn’t Golden

They say that silence is golden – at least I remember hearing that phrase in a song way back in the sixties. I’m not sure it’s true in every situation.

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In our world we are surrounded by so many sounds that having some peace and quiet can be a real treat for a change.

But there is always noise … It’s early morning as I’m writing this and though it’s peaceful and quiet, there is still the hum of the refrigerator that just came on a few seconds ago, and the tick tock of the battery-operated clock hanging on the wall just a few short feet from me.

Even if I went outside there are birds chirping, leaves rustling, or even the noise of cars travelling down a distant roadway.

There is always some noise, a voice of some kind that breaks our silence. And maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe complete silence would drive us crazy.

We’d be left alone with our thoughts.

I know that when I get in my car, the first thing I do after starting the car is hit the button on the radio to get some music. Some people just like to have noise, music, talking, whatever alway in the background – radio always on; TV on in another room.

Some people just talk . . . and they never stop. That’s good at times for a person like me who doesn’t have too much to say. Even if the person talking isn’t saying anything interesting, at least it serves as white noise to drown out the silence.

But there are times when I like it quiet. There are times I need it quiet. My mind works better when it’s not distracted by noise around me. I can think clearly, focus more singularly. Its golden.

Then other times silence isn’t golden. Like when you are talking and the person you are talking to isn’t responding.

I’ve had that happen to me on the phone. I was telling a friend important information and during my explanation we were cut off. I’m not sure how long I talked for before I realized there was no one even listening to me, but it was a weird feeling. I had to call back and start over.

There are times when I’ve talked to people who can’t talk back. People in the hospital, at times, are unable to respond or even indicate that they hear what you are saying to them. It’s hard to keep talking in those situations.

There are people who, when they get mad, get silent. And you can talk to them until you’re blue, but they don’t say anything in return. That’s got to be tough. It’s certainly not golden.

In these situations, silence doesn’t help or even solve anything. You really have to talk through them. What’s really golden is knowing when to talk and when to be silent.

Here’s the thing: There are times when we talk to God and it’s as though He isn’t listening.  There just seems to be no response from Him at all. You can plead, beg, even cry out in frustration but still nothing from God in return. At those silent times the temptation is to stop talking to God, to bury your thoughts, worries, frustrations, discouragements and leave God alone in silence.

But that doesn’t solve anything. We need to keep talking to God, keep bringing our thoughts, our needs or hopes to Him, for out of that silence, at some point, God will answer. And that will be golden.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How long have you gone in silence with God? Leave your comment below.

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How To Get Things Done

I really dislike times when my mind is bombarded with thoughts of things I need to do or act on. It unearths a stress in me like a volcano stoking up to explode.

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It happens often when I’m getting close to some kind of event or deadline – a time like, let’s say, vacation time, which is coming up very soon for me.

I have a ton of things that are flying through my mind, things I need to get moving on. Some things I wouldn’t have to do if I wasn’t going away. But because I am, and there is a deadline, they get piled onto the list.

It’s only 7:30 in the morning as I am writing this piece, but my mind is whirling with about 10 things I need to be putting some time into today. Now that’s on top of the things I have already scheduled to do today!

If I was to attempt to do all the things on my list, I’m looking at about a 26 hour day. Unfortunately, the guy who invented the clock never made one with more than 24 hours.

And the God who created the world set the earth on a rotation that gives us that same 24 pattern for day and night.

Unless the earth gets slammed hard by meteor or something, I think I’m stuck with the same number of hours in a day that we’ve always had. And that thought isn’t helping my stress; nor is it reducing the number of things I have to spend time on.

Something that helps me when I get like this is an exercise I do to deal individually with each project, to-do item or action, and then break it down.

You have to think of each item individually because, when you stay focussed on all the things you have to do, it is just too overwhelming. The pile of work looks massive; you can’t see your way to the end.

So I list each one. I first single them out. Then I break each one down into bite-sized morsels because each to-do or job can be massive. I break them down into small parts that I can do at one time.

I try not to look at the whole project after that, just the next little bite I need to take to get me closer to eating the whole thing.

Here’s the thing:  We sometimes get asked to pray for many things. But what happens is, when we go to pray, we get overwhelmed with all the requests before us, let alone the things we regularly pray for and our own personal needs. It looks like too massive a list and it’s hard to remember them all.

First, don’t try to remember them all; write them down so you can see each request. Then determine how long the request will remain on your list and pray one detail regarding each request for each day it’s on your list.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you pray through the mountain of requests that come to you? I really like to hear from you, so leave a comment below.

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Why It’s Difficult To Make A Group Decision

We make decisions every day; we’re really good at it. We humans are as comfortable making decisions as a big ol’ dog is laying on his favourite rug.

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But when you put a couple of people together – or, say 20, or maybe several hundred – making decisions is a whole new kind of beast. Decisions aren’t easily made in that kind of environment.

This week I attended our denomination’s General Assembly in Ottawa. It’s one of those conferences where one of the prime reasons we come together is to make decisions.

What you notice in these types of meetings is a lot of people have lots to say. Their eyes reveal their eagerness to get it out. And with lots to say, we often take too long to say it. And because those words are burning in our souls, we will say them even if they’ve already been stated.

Of course by stating them again we will say them with greater clarity.

That burning deep inside us is the same fire a preacher has when he’s churned all week on a passage, and has crafted what he believes is the word God has given him for his congregation that week. He just can’t wait to get that message out.

But as much as we want to say our peace, we aren’t as good at listening to others get their words out. What I find is that most of us already have our minds made up. We like our words, and we don’t really get swayed often by the wisdom that comes from the mouths of others.

But it’s more than just liking our thoughts; we’re comfortable with our thoughts.

It’s like when you settle in to watch a movie: you grab a big glass of Dr. Pepper (well, I do) and a few snacks; you get in your favourite spot on the couch; you gaze at the TV as the opening scene begins, and then the phone rings!

You don’t want to get up and move; you are settled in for the night.

When we hear someone with a different perspective, it doesn’t matter how convincing the ring of their words is, we don’t want to move from our position. Our minds are made up. We filter their words rather than give full value to them.

So the discussion drones on and on, with many words spoken but not much movement of position. We sit comfortably, leaning back and viewing the entertainment, unwilling to move and be disturbed by others’ words. Man . . . it’s tough to make decisions.

Here’s the thing: What is true with people is true with God. He speaks to us through scripture, through others, in our quiet thoughts, in our dreams. We need to be careful we are not so comfortable with our thoughts and ideas that we won’t get up and answer that ringing of God’s voice to us. We need to be ready to move from our position to follow God’s leading.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What makes hearing the words of others so difficult for you? I’d love to hear from you; you can leave your comment below.

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What It Takes To Get A Good Night’s Sleep

There is a secret to getting a good night’s sleep, and it requires that you are at peace. However, peace is not that easy to come by. There are so many things that interrupt our peace.

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For me, it looks like I will finally get a good night’s sleep tonight. It’s been some time since I’ve been able to feel well-rested when I get up in the morning.

If you’re wondering if I’ve tried taking sleep medication to help me get a good night of rest, the answer is no … but I have thought of not watching the NHL playoffs so I could get to bed earlier.

Of course, that’s only good in theory.  In reality, no matter how tired I am when I get up, no matter how often during the day I tell myself I should go to bed early, when the game starts I’m up till it’s done.

But that scene is now finished for the season. I can now rest in peace … well, I don’t mean it like it sounds. I don’t intend to rest forever, quite yet. But at least now I can get the proper rest I need.

When the game ended last night (actually, early this morning), I was able to fall asleep in moments after I hit the pillow.

It wouldn’t have been the case if the Toronto Maple Leafs had been there. I would have been on such an anxious, joy-filled, Dr. Pepper high, that I would have needed another hour or so just to get calm enough to get horizontal enough to sleep.

Even still, all game long, every time the fans chanted “Go Kings Go”, it sounded to me like they were shouting “Go Leafs Go” … to which I joined in and chanted quietly along with them.

Maybe it was that Leaf power that propelled the LA Kings to finally end the game in the second period of overtime. With 5:17 left in the second overtime period, that was around 1:00 am at my house, Martinez finally put the playoffs to bed.

Then with the festivities after the game, each player skating with the cup, pictures, and interviews, it went until about 1:45 am.

But the most fitting part was when Ron McLean was wrapping up the NHL season, and the TV feed was lost and the screen went blank. What a shame we didn’t get to hear Ron’s last pun to end the season. Maybe next year they can go to black more often when Ron does his little ditties.

Funny thing, I must have slept like a baby after that because I woke up before my alarm went off at 6:00 am! … though I did hang around in bed for another ten minutes to make sure I was really awake and not dreaming.

Here’s the thing: Life has its moments when it’s tough to find the peace we need to function well and feel rested. Real peace – lasting peace – only comes from having assurance that Christ has forgiven you. Trusting in Christ’s sacrifice for you gives you peace so you don’t have to carry anxiety with you day and night. Rest well.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What keeps you from getting the full rest you need? I’d really like to hear from you, so leave a comment below.

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Why We All Think We Are Lucky

 

I thought just young people believed they were invincible. It turns out that most of us think nothing bad is going to happen to us.

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In the last month I have heard of three people getting ticks. Two of them I see at least on a weekly basis. And it’s a little serious because about 20% of the ticks in this region of Ontario carry Lime disease.

The tick problem in our parts concerns me because I mountain bike in wooded areas … which is prime territory for the minute little creatures. I just recently found out that a guy, who bikes in the same place I bike, picked up a tick on the weekend.

Knowing this bothers me. But, you know what? I’m not going to stop biking in the area.

Some precautions are to wear long-sleeved shirts, and long pants tucked into your socks. You should also splash on a good dose of repellent with Deet in it.

That’s all fine and dandy but I’m not biking in attire that is fit for a Spruce Meadows equestrian event. Nor am I crazy about using mosquito repellent as cologne for the next several months.

I have a good mind to take my chances when I go biking. And that’s the thing – if there really is a 20% chance of getting a tick with Lime disease, that means I have an 80% chance of not getting one.

That causes one to start thinking, “How lucky do I feel?” It’s the same question Clint Eastwood asked the bad guy in one of his movies. He pointed his gun at the robber and said “You’re thinking, ‘Did he fire six shots or only five?’ … well you have to ask yourself, ‘Do I feel lucky?’”

We all take risks all the time, and not just with ticks, but with other things, too. In an article I read on heart attack recovery, it said up to 80% of heart attack survivors return to previous unhealthy lifestyle patterns.

We think that even though we’re not doing all that we should, we’ll still be okay.

It’s supposed to be those who are 16 – 28 that think they’re untouchable. But I wonder if they are just coming by these traits naturally by watching older generations living like the cat down the street with nine lives.

I think this mentality has more to do with habit and less to do with feeling lucky. I think we have a hard time giving up what we like. We don’t like giving up our comfort foods, our sedentary lifestyle, our fashion, or even what something feels like when we have it on (repellent or sunscreen).

So every day we wake up and, without consciously thinking it, we act like we feel lucky.

Here’s the thing: We can live our whole life thinking that either there is no God or that in the end God will befriend us. If you live that way you have to ask yourself, “Do I feel lucky?”, because if you’re wrong, the consequences are eternal.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you take little risks every day without thinking about the consequences? I’d really like to hear from you; you can leave your comment below.

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How To Get To The Real Truth

Doing your own research is always better than taking someone’s word for it.

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This Thursday we have a provincial election and I will be relieved when it’s over. It’s really disrupting the NHL playoffs right now.

I think the political parties and special interest groups know that right now a lot of people are watching hockey, so they are flooding the games with their campaign ads.

It would be one thing if they focussed on what they stood for and what they want to do about making our province the best it can be, but all we see and hear is what the other parties are going to do to take down the province.

In fact, each party says the other parties are going to do the opposite of what those parties are promising to do.

It’s a tough decision to make. The most memorable idea that can be forced into our minds will probably be the determining factor of who people will vote for on election day.

In my riding, it’s a little more difficult to get a sense of who would be the best candidate. There is not as much publicity for them as there is for the provincial leaders.

The other day, Lily and I were in the car, backing out of our driveway, when a woman appeared right by our car window. We rolled down the window and started to chat and it turned out she was campaigning for one of the candidates.

She asked if we had questions and I said I didn’t know much about this particular candidate. Lily joined in and said, “Yes, we don’t know if he’s married, has a family, or what he stands for.” To that the woman said, “Well, he is married and I’m his wife.”

Now at least I know what this candidate’s wife looks like … which is better than one of the other candidates who needs to trim her bangs so we can see what she looks like.

I fear she is not able to see people and things well because, when I look at her campaign posters, she seems to be squinting.

It really is a shame that politicians know that we will be swayed by the information that is presented to us in the loudest and most prevailing voice. It doesn’t even matter if it is true or half true as long as we get what they are saying.

What we really need to do is stop listening and watching the commercials, stop looking at the signs on the corners, and start trying to figure out on our own who would be best to lead our province and represent us at Queen’s Park (provincial Parliament).

If we did one hour of research for each candidate we are interested in we might find that our decision on voting day would be clearer.

Here’s the thing: We can get opinions and ideas about God and the Bible from people who make bold statements. And then without really checking further, we accept those statements as the truth. There is great danger in doing that. What we should do is take the time to research God’s statements for ourselves so that we have it from the right source.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you go about determining the truth? I’d like to hear from you; you can leave your comment below.