Author: Paul Silcock

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Why You Fail To Keep Commitments

The other day I was thinking about why it’s hard for many of us to keep commitments – especially the ones we make to ourselves.

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I believe people approach making commitments differently, and so for some it is easier to keep those commitments than it is for others. But it doesn’t have to be.

I’ve made a commitment to spend time with God each day at 6 am. Now I’m not perfect in that, but I would say that I keep that commitment most days and I’ve been doing it for years.

Someone else I know has made commitments over the years to exercising early in the morning. However, they have not been able to maintain that commitment over a long period of time.

My first piece of advice is you shouldn’t exercise that early in the morning – there is something seriously wrong with that concept! And in the words of Mr. T., “I pity the fool”.

But seriously, the difference I observed between my friend and I is not a commitment issue but how we treat conditions that are placed on our commitments.

To every commitment there are conditions that we either have to satisfy or dismiss in order to keep what we’ve committed to. And we deal with these conditions very differently.

You see, I get up every morning regardless of when I went to bed the night before, while my friend insists he gets 8 hours of sleep in order to get up early to exercise. So it is really the condition not his commitment level that determines whether he will follow through or not.

If he gets his sleep, he satisfies the condition, and he exercises; if not, he doesn’t. After he misses a few in a row because he didn’t get his sleep, it becomes harder and harder for him to keep the commitment. He eventually stops.

He needs to do one of two things with his condition: either dismiss it or satisfy it.

Some people have the ability to dismiss possible conditions so that they don’t get in the way of meeting their commitments. But for those who can’t do that, they must first satisfy the condition in order to consistently keep their commitments.

Foreseeing other possible conditions that may arise along the way is also important. For instance, what happens to your commitment if you are away on a trip somewhere?

If you put your commitment on hold, it will be hard to get back at it when you return home. You can dismiss the condition and keep getting up early, or you have to figure out a way to satisfy it while you’re away.

… And that will take some planning and possible preparation.

A major key to following through on your commitment is determining the conditions placed on the commitment and satisfying or dismissing them.

Here’s the thing: If you are having trouble committing to spending time with God, don’t focus on your lack of commitment as being the problem. Look at all the conditions you’ve placed on what you’ve committed to, evaluate them and either dismiss them or satisfy them. Then you will find you can regularly keep to spending time with God.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What has made keeping commitments difficult for you? Leave your comment below.

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Evaluate and Make A Plan

Recently, I made a plan to exercise more regularly. I looked back over the past spring and summer and noticed that I have biked only half as much as I did the previous year.

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I’m not sure whether it was because of the weather or me just being a slug. Whatever the reason, I turned into a slug regardless.

Now I’m trying to work my way back to a regular exercise routine, so I’m looking for a little cooperation from several sources: weather, schedule, and equipment.

I’ve taken a little time to evaluate and research the top contributing obstacles to my regular exercise.

Weather is a big one for me, especially in the spring, summer and early fall, because all my exercise is geared for outdoor activity. I mountain bike and play golf, and though golf is not a high level of exercise, it does keep my step count up.

And I depend on consecutive days of dry weather, because the day after a rain the trails are sloppy, slippery and generally a mess. This year it seemed like we couldn’t get more than a couple of days in a row of good weather, which leads me to my next obstacle.

My schedule this year didn’t provide me with the freedom I needed to get out there and make a difference with my health.

I regularly bike on Mondays, Wednesday evenings and Saturdays and it seemed this year that there was a meeting or I was out of town or some other responsibility kept me from hitting the trails.

Other times that I found myself free to go, I ran into the weather problem – it was raining or it had rained hard the day before.

What I really need is an option that gives me freedom to exercise regardless of the weather and my schedule – something I can do indoors and can fit between finishing at the office and an evening meeting.

And that is where my third obstacle comes into play: equipment. I don’t have the equipment I need at home to make that work. Getting a gym membership doesn’t work for when I don’t have much time.

I need equipment at home ready to go. Something like a rowing machine.

When I did rehab after my heart attack, they had me use a rowing machine as part of my exercise routine. I really enjoyed that piece of equipment.

They had me on other equipment too, but it was the rowing that I enjoyed the most. The treadmill was boring and the elliptical, well I had to be careful not to get out of rhythm with it and fall off the thing.

I really didn’t like the movement, maybe because I can’t dance.

No. A rowing machine is what I need. I’ve done the research. Of course, they’re expensive, but I have narrowed it down to one or two possible makes.

Now all I have to do is convince my wife. How’d I do, Lil?

Here’s the thing: After making a decision to do something, evaluation and planning are what come next. And it is true with your relationship with God as well. If you feel convinced that God is asking something of you, or you feel convicted to do something for God, evaluate your life, determine the obstacles and plan a method of overcoming them. Then follow through.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What obstacles are in your way of following what God is asking you to do?  Leave your comment below.

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Difficult Choice

It’s alway more difficult to make the hard choice over the easy one.

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Not long ago I did a blood test for my doctor. I say it’s for him because he’s the one that asked for it. Personally, I had no desire to have a blood test.

It was not anything special, just a routine test I should probably have every year … but I’ve extended it a little – like about 2 1/2 years!

Since the test, I’ve been holding my breath hoping that my blood was red or the right colour of red, or whatever they were looking for in my blood. One week went by and I thought, “That’s a good sign. I haven’t heard anything, so maybe everything’s good.”

But I wasn’t convinced, so I thought I’d hold my breath for another week, just to make sure. The week went by; still nothing from my doctor and I was starting to think about breathing again.  That’s when my doctor informed me that my cholesterol was high.

My first thought was, “What’s wrong with my cholesterol pills? Are they not working? Did they give me a placebo? Are they past their expiry date?” Then I realized, no, I just thought I was immune to bad cholesterol while being on them.

I’d been living large, thinking I could eat anything because my cholesterol pills would eradicate any of the bad stuff out of my system.

My doctor and I had a brief chat about my recourse: Option 1 was to double my cholesterol pills.  If I did that maybe I could go on eating as I pleased. But I wanted a different option. Option 2 was lose weight.

I’ve done that before. I lost 28 pounds in six months once. I lost 10 pounds when I had my heart attack. There were a couple of times I lost 5 pounds just by getting the flu.

But this is a little different. I have to have a plan for eating, and I know that’s not going to be easy.

When I lost that 28 pounds, I only ate things that were low on the glycemic index. That got rather boring after a while and difficult to manage. So this time my strategy is a little different. I’m only eating at meal times. I’m not restricting my diet, just not eating outside breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I started five days ago and it’s been doable. There have been a couple of times I’ve wanted to search out a little snack in the evening, but I’ve resisted heading for the panty where I’ve got a stash of liquorice.

I don’t like not being able to snack, but the crazy thing is I’m feeling better. I’ve also lost 4 pounds (by the way, I’m whispering so my wife doesn’t hear me write this – it bugs her that I can lose weight so easily).

Losing weight has not been a problem for me when I really work at it. Like most people, my problem is in keeping it off! My desire for a good burger and fries, wings, Dr. Pepper, chocolate, liquorice – well you get the idea – is strong!

Right now I’m motivated for the challenge … we’ll see where this takes me.

Here’s the thing: I’ve chosen the hard option – to reduce my cholesterol – but many are inclined to take the easy way. The life of a Christian is not taking the easy way. It is taking the hard option of being obedient to God and His will over living to one’s own impulses and desires. It will always be a challenge and the easy way will always be a temptation.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: When have you had to choose between the hard and easy options? Leave your comment below.

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Mistake After Mistake

A few weeks ago, I wrote about a new project Lily and I are working on at our house. We’re putting new closet doors in our bedroom. (You can read that blog here.)

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At that time, it was mostly an idea to follow through on. I had taken the old closet doors off, and since then ordered new doors and begun the work of widening the closet opening.

It was going pretty well … up until last Saturday.

Our new sliding doors arrived and all I needed to do was set the door jams in the frame to make the finished opening the right size.

… It sounds pretty simple, but this is the very reason why I would never make it as a carpenter.  You see, I’m just not that good at getting things level and square and … precise.

I’m more of a rough estimate kind of guy. I also am much better at demolition than I am at construction. I had no problem taking off the drywall (though Lily didn’t like the mess), and I was pretty good and creative at removing a couple of 2×4 studs on either side of the opening.

That part went so smoothly, I even thought I kind of liked doing this project …

… until I remembered my mother’s words to me and my brother when we were young and had just broken another one of her Hummel figurines: “You two should go into the demolition business when you get older because you’re really good at it.”

… until Saturday. That’s the day I needed to put the door jams in. All that required of me was to make sure my opening was large enough, nail three pieces of wood together (two sides and a top piece), and shim it in level and square.

That’s it. It sounds so simple but it took so long! I had to call in the cavalry (my son, Mike), and even between the two of us, we worked all afternoon on it.

When it was done, the sides were pretty level and square, but the joint at one of the corners was splitting. I didn’t care at that point. I figured we could cover that up some how.

So we put up the tracks for the doors to hang on. That part was easy. But when we went to hang the door panels, we realized I had not calculated enough for the height of the doors.

They rubbed on the carpet so that it took a little effort to slide them back and forth.

I was pretty discouraged and didn’t know what to do. I really didn’t want to take that jam out after spend a whole day putting it in.

But by the next morning, I realized I needed to do it. So I did what I do best … I demoed the door jams and took out a 2×4 at the top and replaced it with a 1×4.

Now all I have to do is put in the new jam, and shim it level and square. Sounds simple, right?

Oh brother, here we go again!

Here’s the thing: When you make a mistake, the last thing you want to do is correct it. You try to cover it up, make do with it, even blame someone else for it. But the only way to really fix it is to correct the mistake. This applies to sin in your life too. Don’t cover it up; don’t make do with it or blame someone else. Go to God and correct it. Then you can move on.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How have you dealt with mistakes you’ve made? Leave your comment below.

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Anybody Else Have Hair Issues?

This morning I looked in the mirror and realized I can’t keep up with the hair on my body. If you’re under 40 and reading this, right now you’re thinking, “That’s gross!” – maybe you even said it out loud. If you’re over 40, you probably just thought to yourself, “Ya, so what?”

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At the time I made this discovery, I was using my handy, battery-powered shaver for hair that grows on one’s ears (yes, they make something for that). And, as much as my son chuckles at all the hair I have on my body, there was a time when it wasn’t like that.

In my teens, I focussed growing hair on my head – and I did a pretty good job of it. I’d show you a picture, but for some reason I don’t have any pictures of myself when I was a teen. It’s too bad because I had some pretty good outfits back then to go with my hair!

My hair grew long and thick and people who cut my hair would say, “You’ll never go bald” … but I’m not so sure of that now.

You see, I’m still growing hair – and it grows long – but it’s not focussed on my head any more.  That part is thinning out. But I can grow some great patches of hair on my ears and back. I’m thinking of buying a mini lawnmower just to keep the hair on my back neatly trimmed.

Then there is the nose hair. I know that if I just left that to itself, I’d have a jungle in there. Even my eyebrows – I can grow some funky, long curly hairs there too.

What happened to me? One day you’re smirking at the gorilla guy on the beach, and the next day you ARE the gorilla guy on the beach!

I realize that people who read this and see me on a regular basis will start checking me out a little more closely. I’ll just warn you now, you’ll see some wild hair, because I’ve lost control of it.

One of the differences between men and women is that women have been plucking and pruning all their lives. But for guys to start doing that in their 40’s or 50’s, it’s too late to put that into our regular grooming routine. It just gets away on us sometimes.

You know when you see your lawn and think, “I should really cut the grass today”, but you’re so tired, you don’t?  And then it rains for the next three days and you have meetings in the evening for the next two after that.

By the time you cut your grass, it’s twice as long as it was when you originally noticed that it needed cutting.

That same scenario applies to trimming the hair on your body.

This morning I threw my hands up in defeat, and said, “I give up”.  I couldn’t even get myself to shave my face. Fortunately, it’s Saturday. I have work to do around the house, so no one’s going to see me anyway.

I’ll worry about getting all my hairs cut tomorrow . . .  I hope it doesn’t rain.

Here’s the thing: You can’t control how your hair grows as you get older, but you can control how your relationship with God grows. The tendency can be to coast and not take care of it. But don’t settle for that. Keep growing as you get older. Your relationship with the Lord doesn’t have to get old as you age. It can be fresh, exciting and new if you will tend to it.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What ways do you fight getting older? Leave your comment below.

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Delaying the inevitable may not be the best.

It’s getting near the end of the grass cutting season, but I’m hoping the problem I’m having with my lawns can wait until next year to be dealt with.

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When we bought our cottage, we needed doubles of many things because, with two different places, it was impractical to take some things back and forth … like for instance, a lawnmower.

So I own two of them. Unfortunately, neither one is working all that well. I just wish I could get one of them to work properly right now, but in reality, I need them both.

The one at the cottage was inherited when we bought the place. The previous owner said he had mistakenly put a gas and oil mixture in the gas tank so the engine had a surging sound to it.

It sounded like someone revving their car engine at a stop light in hopes the guy beside him would race him off the line. The only difference was this engine never stopped revving!

I took it apart, cleaned everything, and changed filters, gaskets, spark plugs – you name it. For a couple of years it worked well.

But now it’s doing it again, with less power. If I walk too fast it stalls out.

As for my mower at home, I bought it new years ago, but it’s seen better days. I think it’s wearing out. But the big thing with it is it doesn’t cut evenly. With every strip of grass I cut, it leaves a bit of grass behind – sort of like a mohawk haircut.

I think if I could combine them together I might have one lawnmower that worked properly. My worry is that I’m going to have to replace them both at the same time.

Having two of the same thing, in one way, is a great help – I don’t have to move something between two places. On the other hand, I have two things that can break down, need repair or have to be replaced.

I have a real problem to solve. One solution would be to pave both lawns and do away with lawnmowers all together. I like the sound of that, but my wife, Lily is into the green stuff in the yard so I don’t think that will fly.

I wish someone would invent a tele-porter like they used on Star Trek. Then I’d just need one lawnmower that I’d send back and forth. I’d send Lily on ahead to be there, waiting at the other end, when I sent it.

If I was lucky, by the time I got up to the cottage, she would have already cut the grass!

I think what I’m going to do is bear with it for a month or so. I’ll figure something out in the spring … unless I can find a cheap, used mower in the mean time.

Here’s the thing: In life, sometimes we delay getting right with God. We know we need to work things out with Him, but instead we limp along trying to make do with life and its issues as best we can. We secretly hope it will all somehow magically work itself out. The problem is you can delay getting your life on track with God but, at some point, you’re going to have to do business with Him … better sooner than later.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you delayed working on that you really need to get at now?  Leave your comments below.

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Sleep Is Just Like Temptation

Have you ever been too tired to function? Sleep has you in its grips, and no matter what you do you just can’t seem to stay awake.

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It happens to young children …

One time we were driving home from church. The sun was shining with all its might through the car windows. Music was playing; Lily and I were talking.

I glanced in the rearview mirror and I saw our two year old slowly slipping into a sleep.

We were just two minutes out of the church parking lot.

Lily spun around and started making noise, waving, wiggling toes … she would’ve done jumping jacks if it wasn’t for the seat belt . . . well  . . . and the car roof.

From the vantage point of the mirror I could see Karlie sinking deeper and deeper into sleep and there was nothing that Lily could do to stop her. Sleep had overcome her. No power on earth was going to reverse the spell that was claiming our daughter.

I also remember watching my dad and grandfather get KO’d by reclining chairs they sat in on Sunday afternoons. My brother and I played as my dad and grandpa talked and then … silence.

We couldn’t figure out what happened. It was like a drug had been administered by my grandmother during our meal. They were gone . . . for hours!

Now Lily administers that same drug, because I can sit down to watch a perfectly riveting golf tourney on TV and in minutes find myself fast asleep.

Actually, I find myself a few hours later waking up to something other than the golf tourney!

Sometimes sleep can’t be stopped. It’s powerful; it’s controlling. It can be welcomed but also dreaded.

That was the case for me the other day. I had been away for two days and not slept very much. I had sat through an all-day meeting and then had a two hour drive home.

About half way into the drive I started feeling tired. I turned up the radio and tried to sing along, like I had my own personal Karaoke contest going on and I was winning (can you actually win at those contests?).

I ran my fingers through my hair, squeezed my arms, rubbed my neck … but my eyelids still got heavier and heavier. I’m sure I closed them once or twice for longer than a blink.

… Not too scary having that happen in a big old recliner. it IS scary when you’re in a tin box moving down the highway at 130 km’s per hour!

Did I write that? I’m sure I meant 119 km’s per hour.

I knew I was in trouble but was having a hard time thinking. I just knew I needed to pull over.

I prayed, “Lord help me get to a travel centre.” When I saw a sign for one, I fought sleep like crazy to get there. I pulled in, reclined my seat, and slept for 40 minutes. I then drove home refreshed.

Here’s the thing: Temptation can be powerful – just like sleep at times – so powerful that it’s hard to think of alternatives and exit points. It’s those times you need to have a plan in place and know what you should do. I knew I needed to get off the road. I didn’t have to think about it; I knew it. When you’re under extreme temptation, you have to already know what to do, so that all that’s left is to pray that God would help you do it.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How have you learned to fight off temptation? Leave your comments below.

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Encouragement That’s Simple Yet Profound

Everyone needs a little encouragement sometimes. If we go too long without it, we can begin to lose confidence, or feel unappreciated, or generally down.

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There are those who seek encouragement and, at very least, they get attention. When they were children they were the ones who would always say, “Look at me; look at me”, and it was cute to see the new trick they had learned to perform.

When those same people get older, it’s not so cute. When someone’s in their twenties or thirties and are still calling people to take notice of them, it’s just annoying.

It’s not that we don’t want people to notice us, it’s just that we’ve matured to the point where we don’t crave attention and we prefer to be noticed without our solicitation.

It’s really not encouragement when we’ve had to ask for it.

Timing is also important in receiving encouragement. It doesn’t work if it’s not related to something that is going on in your life. It’s important to have close proximity between the encouragement and what you’re being encouraged about.

Telling someone they would be great at something they have no interest in or aptitude for doesn’t really work. In fact, you need both of those – interest and aptitude – for encouragement to work.

I remember when my son was figuring out what he would take in high school. When he listed off his courses, I said, “You should take French because you have a real aptitude for it.”

He just looked at me like I was a stranger he’d never laid eyes on before, then looked back at his mother to continue to list his subjects as if I was no longer in the room.

He did have an aptitude for it; he just didn’t have any interest in taking it. Therefore, my comment was not taken as an encouragement to him in any way.

At least now – ten years later – he recognizes me as his father again!

Unsolicited, close proximity, and resonating with our interests and aptitude – this is the script for a great encouragement.

And the other day, I got one! It was 9:14 Saturday night. I was relaxing, and just finishing watching a movie before heading to bed.

The text read, “Praying for you, Paul … have an amazing time with God tomorrow morning!!”

The next morning I was going to be preaching at our church. To know someone was praying for me in advance of that was a huge encouragement to me. It really picked me up.

I looked for a name but there was only a phone number and not one I recognized. This same person had also texted me something similar back in February.

That was it. It probably took about twenty seconds to type, but it was a big encouragement to me.

My reply was simply, “Thanks”.  And that’s what I was – thankful.

Here’s the thing:  It was a person who texted me that encouragement, but I knew who was behind it. God knew I needed an encouragement right then, before I preached the next day. He prompted that person to pray and encourage me. I thought about trying to figure out who had texted, but I got an overwhelming sense that I should just leave it and take the encouragement as anonymous. God will bring you encouragement when you need it most. Look for it to come in any shape or form.

That’s life!

Paul

Question: How have you been surprisingly encouraged? You can leave your comment below.

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Do You Want A Lush Yard With Little Effort?

It’s the middle of September, and the grass in my yard keeps growing like in the spring.

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By now I should only have to cut it about every two weeks. Actually, most summers when I come back from our vacation, the only things that have grown on the lawn are the weeds – about a foot high, green and lush – while all the grass around them is stubble and brown as sand.

This week I knew the lawn needed cutting. Since my neighbour was looking at his, I thought I better get out there and join him. He’d cut my grass while we were on vacation and, though it would be nice to have a handy guy next door who cut my lawn, I didn’t want to take advantage of his generous nature.

I started with my front yard and cut the part of his lawn that connects with mine before he got to it. Then I started on the back. I couldn’t believe how long the grass was. It was thicker than I’d seen it all year and still so green.

I chalked that up to the fact that we had record amounts of rain this summer – it never had a chance to dry out.

It was tough getting the lawn mower through it. I have a 5 horse power mower but it’s older and I think it’s starting to fade away.

By the time I’d finished cutting the back lawn, I had almost burnt the engine out. Three times it started to smoke and I had to pull it back so it wouldn’t stall out. But it was done.

Then I attacked the edges with the whipper snipper. I have to say that it was looking pretty good by the time I finished. In between cutting and snipping, I had a conversation with my neighbour about the strip of grass that is on the other side of our fences.

I’m not sure if we’re responsible for it or if it’s the city’s job, but my neighbour is the one who cuts it the most. In fact, he cuts his portion, mine and the guy’s on the other side of me.

When I finished the snipping, I kind of felt guilty about not doing my share on the other side of the fence, so I cut that too.

I was tired but happy when it was all done. I was thinking I wouldn’t have to cut the lawn again for maybe two weeks. I had even lowered the blade to shave the grass a little shorter.

But four days later I was looking at the lawn thinking it really needed to be cut again. I couldn’t believe it! … That’s when Lily told me she’s been fertilizing it!

No wonder my lawn is getting thicker and longer. No wonder my lawn mower is about to give up. I’m ready to give up too.

Give me back the burnt grass and tall weeds – I need a break!

Here’s the thing: I like my lawn to look good, but to look good it takes more than just cutting it every couple of weeks. It takes fertilizing to help it grow long and green, which in turn means more lawn maintenance. Your relationship with God is the same. It takes the fertilization of reading God’s Word and the maintenance of spending time with God in prayer. That kind of work will produce a good, growing relationship. But you’ve got to put in the effort.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How much effort do you put into your relationship with God? Leave your comments below.

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The Genius Behind Garage Sales

On Saturday my church held a ginormous garage sale – it was so big we called it a yard sale. When you get dozens of families contributing household items for the same cause, it gets big fast.

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The purpose was to raise money for one of our kids’ programs. And we did just that – close to $3000! The church got behind it and a lot of people pitched in.

But in my last blog, I wrote about how I don’t like garage sales (you can read that blog here), so you have to wonder, have I changed my mind? Am I now a diehard garage sale proponent?

Well, not exactly. But the yard sale did great and I even found a few items that I claimed as treasures.

Don’t get me wrong, there was a lot of junk – tons of junk! And when I first saw the piles of it, all I could think of was, “Does anybody own a garbage truck, and how quickly can we get it over here?” But the piles kept shrinking!

The day of the sale was not the greatest. We had some rain, so people walked away with purchased items that were already slightly washed and wiped down.

We collected a dollar here and fifty cents there, and it all added up to a sizeable pot in the end.  There were hot dogs being sold, cars getting washed, baking being eaten; people talking, telling stories, and laughing. It was a great time.

I couldn’t help but make some observations about it all:

The first thing I noticed was that there was a lot of things sold to those of us who were running the yard sale. We now all have some things from each other’s homes. For instance, I now have some of Bob’s stuff and Adrian’s stuff.

In the future, we should just swap ten items with someone else in the church and do it every seven years. That’s close to being Biblical … in a completely wrong kind of way.

Another thing was there was an awful lot of socializing going on. Other than the super sellers (like my wife), a lot of us just hung around, talked with each other, helped a few people, and talked some more.

It turned out really well for bonding as a church. We shared an experience together, one that created some good memories.

The other thing I noticed was the effort that everyone put into setting up and taking down. It was amazing to see the coordinated work from so many people, young and old, getting the church parking lot and foyer back to looking the way it should for the next day (Sunday).

I was really proud of my church! The people who came got a good taste of what we’re like at KAC. … And that made it worth putting on and attending a yard sale.

Here’s the thing: Sometimes we get our focus on the wrong things at church. We evaluate the building, the service style, or the available programs. We might get focussed on the quality of the worship or the pastor’s sermon. But what’s really important are the people, and how they work together. A church is not a building – it’s God’s people who gather together in the same place of worship. We shouldn’t ever forget that.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: When have you seen people working really well together? Leave your comment below.