family

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Say Good-bye to That Mullet

About four months ago, I wrote about how I’m not very observant. I had missed noticing that my wife had gotten a haircut while I had been away on a trip. Well, it turns out that Lily isn’t a cracker jack CSI herself when it comes to noticing someone’s haircut!

For this entire past week she didn’t notice that I had had every single hair on my head shortened. In fact, I had to tell her I got my hair cut. For me this was no big deal, it wasn’t like she didn’t notice a big blob of mustard dangling from the corner of my mouth.

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She acted like it wasn’t a big deal either, but for some reason, me not noticing her new haircut was a big deal. She says it’s not the same thing … but it seems like EXACTLY the same thing. And our two faux pas prove a hair cut is easy to overlook.

However, some things are impossible to miss, like a child’s growth when you haven’t seen them for a few years. The first words out of your mouth are, “Wow! Have you ever grown!” You can’t help but notice something like that.

Or when you haven’t seen your high school buddy for twenty five years. He shows up at a gathering and you wonder who the new guy is, only to find out that this “new” guy with no hair, a ball cap and a good sized belly is your old school friend. When you finally recognize him, you ask yourself, “What happened to that guy?” because you undoubtedly are going to notice that kind of change.

Those changes are easy to be aware of, but how should any one be expected to notice someone’s hair that is maybe a quarter of an inch shorter and in the same style as when you left for work in the morning? That’s right! No one should have to notice something like that.

There should be a rule across the board that there has to be a certain amount of change differential for something to be worthy of being noticed. Anything less than that differential doesn’t have to receive a comment.

Now, if I had a mullet and got the “party in the back” cut off, that should be worthy of being noticed. But even if that dazzling image eluded her inspection, it wouldn’t cause me much concern.

And when Lily’s “hairdo’s” escape my scrutiny, I only have to go another four weeks or so until I get another shot at it. One thing I am glad for is that it doesn’t take her four weeks to get over my lack of observation or I’d be spending more alone time in front of the TV.

… During playoff season that’s not all that bad … Hey … !

Here’s the thing: Out of all the things we should notice in life, the most significant are what God has done and is doing. We should notice what He has created and marvel over it. We should notice the prayers He answers for us. We should notice how He wants to shape us through the circumstances in life. And we should praise Him for who He is and what He has done. God’s activity in the world and in our lives should never go unnoticed.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you have the hardest time noticing? Leave your comment below.

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Dreading Another Shopping Trip

Shopping is NOT my favourite sport. I like to do almost anything else rather than shop, unless you count doing work around the house. But for me, shopping for clothes with my wife is in a whole other category.

For starters, shopping – especially in a mall – causes an energy drain in me like nothing else. I can enter a mall standing tall and walking briskly, but after a couple of stores I’m trudging along like a soldier carrying a 40 lb. backpack at the end of a 20 km hike.

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I don’t understand how women can shop for clothes. The options are limitless, and I’m just talking about the stores to choose from. In any given mall there’s an average of three men’s clothing stores, but there are usually over 10 stores carrying women’s garments.

In each store, there are racks and racks of clothes that look very similar with merely a pattern or colour change to them. But it seems most women have to browse each and every rack.

There is something about touching the clothes that women feel they must do. They have to touch almost every piece of clothing in the store. I can tell if I’m going to like something standing five feet from the rack, but women have to grab hold of each piece and look at the front of it … and then the back of it.

I don’t know much about women’s fashion, but if you’re a “winter” don’t even go near the yellow and peach displays. It’s a waste of time.

Women’s clothing stores also crowd their space. There are too many clothes for the square footage. For men, this causes a huge problem. We are left standing in a sea of shirts and skirts and accessories with very little room to walk around.

It’s in women’s stores that you find men holding purses … not because they want to, but because their wives have to try on a third or fourth coat just to make sure that the first three coats that looked the same were the wrong ones.

Why don’t they put chairs in women’s clothing stores, either by the entrance so we can catch our breath before we move on to yet another store, or near the change room so we don’t have to be called over to look at something?

I’ve looked at other men in women’s stores and they all have the same glazed over look in their eyes, like they’ve been hypnotized by bright blues, many shades of red, and green patterns on the blouses – do they still call them blouses or just shirts now?

It should be mandatory to put comfort stations in women’s clothing stores, like a play area for men instead of kids. You can picture it, can’t you? – complete with comfortable chairs, a big screen TV with some game on, complimentary drinks and peanuts while you waited.

I know, that’s called a restaurant … never mind. Hey Lil, I’ll meet you in the sports lounge around the corner when you’re done shopping; here’s your purse back.

Here’s the thing: When I look at my life, the things I do each day, places I go, things I say, God should rolls His eyes and be completely uninterested in my life. But it’s absolutely the opposite! He is interested in every aspect of my life, no matter how many times I do, say and think the same things. God doesn’t get worn out being attentive to my life.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you do to stay engaged in an activity that doesn’t naturally interest you?  Leave your comment below.

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What To Do When The Unexpected Happens

Since my wife was away on the weekend, it was just my 22 year-old son and me at home. More accurately, it was like I was home on the weekend and Mike dropped in and out from time to time.

He wasn’t home for dinner on Friday night so I just had some leftovers. Lily usually leaves me with a fridge full of leftovers, not so much to help with meal preparation but to keep me from spending money at restaurants when she’s way.

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On Saturday morning, I made my regular breakfast of hot oat bran cereal and some fruit. At noon it was still pretty quiet in Mike’s room, so I just had more leftovers for lunch (that my wife had so nicely packaged in plastic containers for us).

Midway through the afternoon, a scary looking creature emerged from his downstairs bedroom. He had worked until 4 am, so 3 in the afternoon was like a “brand new day” for him (check out my blog, “From Plans to Reality”).

There had been an accumulation of dishes in the sink from the past three meals, so I thought I would just clean them up and start fresh at dinner. Besides, I knew that dinner on Saturday night was going to be take out, so few dishes required.

By now, Lily knows that no matter how many leftover meals she puts in the fridge for me, there is a 100% chance that I will be purchasing at least one meal on a weekend. For Saturday dinner, it was a unanimous decision: hot wings from our favourite chicken wing joint.

Three pounds of chicken wings with Frank’s Red Hot sauce … mmmm, I could eat them several times a week. It’s a good thing I have a wife who exerts a little concern for my health and our budget!

Not many dishes for that meal – just a couple of plates, a couple of glasses and we threw the cardboard container in the garbage . . . I mean, the recycling bin.

By the time Sunday morning rolled around, there weren’t too many dishes in the sink. But still, I thought I would just clean them up before I headed out the door to church. By that point in the weekend Mike had been home for one meal and used only one plate and a glass.

When church was over, I thought if Mike was awake, I’d bring home some food for a late lunch. I texted him, and to my surprise he was up and was heading out the door; he didn’t need lunch. So I just came right home.

And that’s when my perfect weekend exploded! The kitchen was a disaster and the sink was full with a bowl, pot, plate, three spoons, a few glasses, an empty container of yogurt or something, and a blender container and parts.

How do you use three spoons in one meal? I thought I was coming home to a clean kitchen and in one meal, my son blew the place up!  Now I know how my wife feels every week!

Here’s the thing: You can be living a pretty clear life before God, pleasing Him with your words, thoughts and deeds. And then out of nowhere, you sin and it seems like you have blown everything with God. When you find an explosion in the kitchen, you just wash the dishes and carry on. When you sin, you do the same – repent to God and carry on.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What kind of messes get you upset the most? Leave your comment below.

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Guaranteed to Cure the Common Cold

If you want to know how to get over a cold really quickly, I have the secret remedy. You may have to buy hundreds of dollars worth of hockey equipment to do it, but I swear by this method. I’ve been doing this for years and the results speak for themselves.

Johnson And Johnson Recalls Children's Cold Medicines

The other day I woke up with not the beginnings of a cold, or even the sniffles. I woke up with a full-blown, about a 2 days in cold, without any prior symptoms. I have no explanation for it other than it’s my wife’s fault. She must have given it to me.

There is a slight possibility that my late nights this past week have weakened my immune system, but I really think it was Lily who gave me this cold. She may not have had any symptoms herself, but I think she’s sometimes a carrier for these types of germs.

So there I was, sneezing every fifteen minutes, blowing my nose every ten minutes and coughing in between. My body was a little achy but I was more chilled than anything. I even hauled out my Grandma afghan, and when I do that, I’m sick!

I tried to get a good night’s sleep but I tossed and turned all night. I woke up the next morning not feeling any better. Mind you, my alarm went off at 5:30 a.m. and NO ONE feels at the top of their game at that hour!

I had a decision to make: roll over and go back to sleep, or drag my achy, chilled, sorry-looking body out of bed for hockey. It was a quick decision I made – I had to! If I thought about it for even a few seconds, I would have pulled the covers up over my head.

I had gotten out my hockey equipment the night before, just in case. But if I was going to play, I needed something else: the secret remedy/weapon to blasting a cold out of your system. I needed a sweatshirt, the thicker the better.

This remedy involves all my regular hockey equipment, but I wear a t-shirt AND a sweatshirt under my hockey sweater. This allows me to – how can I put this delicately? – sweat like a pig. Oh, I sweat when I play hockey, but with the extra layers, I get to the point of overheating and that’s the condition you need to be in to gain the desired results.

Just to make sure my method was going to work, the group that was coming on the ice after us needed a few extra bodies. I decided to stick around and keep the perspiration flowing.

When I was all done, I was pretty tired. By the time I changed and showered, I was feeling achy and chilly again. So I came home and jumped into bed for a couple of hours. When I got up, voila! I was better! – aches gone, chills gone, the need to blow my nose … well, I’m still going through Kleenex at a rapid rate, but I feel better.

Here’s the thing: For many of the requests we have of God, we just pray. It might be a nice, calm, logical prayer of what we want or need from God. But there are some things that require us to sweat it out with God, to get on our knees and pour out our hearts and souls to Him. That’s the tough work of prayer. You shouldn’t neglect that kind of prayer.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: Have you found yourself in need of sweating out your prayer with God?  Leave your comment below.

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We Need To Connect

Something has changed in my family that I’m not really excited about. There are a host of changes I have been thrilled about over the years, like being done with diapers, and driving the kids everywhere, whenever. But this new change doesn’t thrill me.

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The other day was my wife’s birthday (not the change I’m referring to) and she received the usual greetings via the telephone from family members who live out of town. If you answer the phone when these calls come in, you know they just want to talk to the birthday girl, so you try to quickly pass the handset off to her.

But when our daughter calls, usually we all get into the conversation a little bit. It’s like we are all together again as a family. There have been some years when our daughter (who has been out west for six years) has video chatted during birthdays: we have set a laptop in her normal place at the table and then met as a family for birthday dinner.

That didn’t happen this year. I didn’t even talk to my daughter on my wife’s birthday.  It was like she wasn’t part of our birthday celebrations; she just had an insider conversation with her mom.

It’s partly my fault. I should have told Karlie what our plans were for the day and then had her join us for part of it. I missed not having another voice to tease my wife. When the three of us gang up on Lily, it’s even better than when just my son and I do it!

Maybe this is just a change that’s inevitable and there is nothing we can do about it. Maybe it happened because my daughter used up her data plan in the first two weeks of the month and is now internetless (new word) until the first week of May.

At any rate, Karlie was missing from the celebration this year … and that’s a change I don’t really like. I’ve noticed that changes in the family just seem to happen. You don’t really anticipate them; they just sort of slide in on you and you deal with them.

… Like when your son decides to move in with some buddies downtown for the summer. You don’t preplan to turn his room into a home gym because he may be back by the fall.  But when the room is empty for a while, the thought crosses your mind for a second … or two.

To be honest, I like change. I’ve enjoyed watching my kids grow up, face new challenges, and transform before my eyes into full fledged adults (mostly). But for some reason, I like my family to remain the same around special occasions.

Maybe that’s weird; maybe that’s trying to hold on to something that keeps the family members from truly becoming their own individuals. But to me, it seems with the technology we have today, if we used it to maintain family gatherings, it could keep the family closer.

Here’s the thing: We are able to travel great distances at a moment’s notice. And that can take us away from the special occasion of meeting with God’s family at church on Sundays. We can even get used to being away from this special occasion on a regular basis. But we miss out on celebrating with the family when we aren’t present. We have technology to keep us connected. We should make sure we do what we can to remain close to our church family.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you remain close to family when you’re not present?  Leave your comment below.

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I’d Rather Take The Stairs

Does anybody like to climb stairs anymore? Has anybody ever liked to climb stairs? I’m just wondering because it seems like people try to avoid them if they can.

The other day, I was doing a hospital visit and my wife Lily was with me. As we got close to the elevator, she said, “We are not taking the stairs, are we?” I looked at her and replied, “You take the elevator and I’ll meet you on the 6th floor.”

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She answered that she didn’t want to climb the stairs because she was in high heels and a heavy coat. I’ve never climbed stairs in high heels before, but as I recall, my heels don’t normally hit the ground when I climb, so it should be a moot point.

Lil isn’t a wuss so she took the stairs with me, but she was lagging behind a little. I would chock it up to those darn high heels but her huffing and puffing gave away that she was really just out of stair climbing shape.

For the last year or so I’ve been taking the stairs more often. It’s not because I like climbing stairs; it’s because it helps me get closer to my daily walking goal. And I’ve learned a few things in taking the stairs over the elevator:

One thing I’ve learned is if you dislike crowds and being in close quarters with people, take the stairs – you’ll have the place to yourself! When I take the stairs at the hospital, 90% of the time I never encounter anyone else. The other 10% I just see hospital staff.

If you want to sing or whistle while you get to your destination, take the stairs. Not only will no one hear you, the acoustics in the stairwell really make for a rich, full sound!

If you need some quiet to think, take the stairs. The only sound you will hear is your own heavy breathing as you round the 5th floor.

I’m not petitioning for more people to take the stairs – I like to whistle undisturbed when I climb. I’m just saying there’s more to taking the stairs than giving you a heart attack.

There are some people who like to climb stairs. In Toronto, at the CN Tower, they’ve been running a fundraiser stair climb for 23 years. They get about 6,400 people walking up the 1,776 steps (that’s 144 flights!) every year. I know a guy who’s done it.

For the most part though, multi-floor buildings promote the use of elevators and escalators. The stairwells are usually in out-of-the-way places reserved for emergencies … and then good luck finding them!

Of course, the older we get, the more we start looking for those elevators. I’ve heard that 70 year olds can spot an elevator at 60 paces, but still not be able to read what button to push without their glasses!

I figure I’m not there yet, so I better keep using the stairs.

Here’s the thing: We gravitate to what’s fast and easy until that is all we can do. Becoming more like Christ takes time and work. If we’re always looking for the fast and easy, we may never look much like Him.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you do the hard way just to not give in to the easy? Leave your comment below.

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I Got Me A Hankering!

Sometimes I get a hankering. It just pops into my head like an idea that won’t go away. The other night, for example, it was getting later in the evening and I suddenly felt like some popcorn.

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After Easter and all the candy I had to inhale during that holiday, I needed a break from sweet snacks. I was looking for something that would satisfy and I was thinking of watching a movie … the two kind of go hand in hand.

When I go to the theatre I still have a natural instinct to purchase a bag of popcorn. It doesn’t matter to me that I have to draw on my line of credit to afford a bag, there is something inside of me that urges me up to the counter.

Personally, I don’t even like theatre popcorn anymore. I used to get it with extra butter, but now it is a hot petroleum bi-product, I think. Whatever it is they put on the popcorn, I find it sits in the bottom of my stomach and begins to re-pop about half way through the movie.

I don’t like microwave popcorn either.  How can something that can be left in a bag for 10 to 15 years be any good? It’s quick and you can’t really mess it up, but it tastes like the chemicals they use to preserve it – probably the same ones the Egyptians used to  wrap a mummy!

I much prefer the popcorn we make at home with our air popper. I’m pretty good at getting the popper out, filling it up with corn kernels, and getting a bowl out for the popcorn to fall into. But that is about where I like to stop.

I’ve completed the process before, but if my wife Lily is around I like her to put the butter and salt on.  There is an art to it, and she has a special touch. It may go back to her college days when making popcorn in her dorm room was a nightly ritual.

When I do the butter and salt there’s always a fear that I’ll use too much or not enough.  But with Lily, it seems she gets it perfect every time. The other night I convinced her to help me. The popcorn was perfect. Good popping on my part!

Then I found a movie to watch and proceeded to pretty much devour the bowl of popcorn all by myself. I’m not sure it was any better for me than a hunk of my Laura Secord cream-filled egg or a handful of brightly coloured jelly beans, but it satisfied … glad I acted on that hankering!

Here’s the thing: Like I got a hankering for popcorn, sometimes a name of someone or an idea pops into our heads. Many times we dismiss it and go on doing what we are doing. But it may be that God has put that person on our minds. And, like any good desire, we should act on it. It just might be the case that God is calling you to pray for that person or contact them.

That’s life!

Paul

Question: Have you ever had a name pop into your head and it turned out that the person needed prayer right at that time? What did you do?  Leave a comment below.

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There’s A New Fixer Now

If you’re a dad, you’re a fixer. If you’re not good at fixing things, you become good, because as a dad, you get lots of opportunities.

Requests for your assistance come from all kinds of sources and for all kinds of fixes.  As a dad, you have to be a generalist fixer, not a specialty guy. One minute you can be fixing a dishwasher for your wife (it’s still broken), and then asked to fix your son’s latest gadget or your daughter’s computer.

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Sometimes the fixing is more like doing things no one else can do, like unscrewing the lid on the pickle jar, or raising the basketball net, or untangling a necklace. When you think of it, dads are really miracle workers.

As a dad, you fix things for so long that you never think that there will be anyone to take your place. You look at the potential and all you can see are people who need you to fix things.

But there comes a time when the mantle of fixer changes hands. It’s not a quick hand off, mind you. There is training that comes into play, until slowly a new fixer is developed. I witnessed the beginning of that development this past week.

My son got an iPhone 5 on Wednesday. On Thursday night at his work, he plugged the speaker system into his phone but no sound came out. He didn’t think much of it until the next day when he couldn’t hear calls that were coming in to his phone.

When he looked into it, he discovered the tip of the sound jack from work was stuck in the earphone hole of his iPhone. The iPhone reacted like there were headphones plugged in it so its internal speakers weren’t activated.

When I got wind of this, I went right into fixer mode. I looked at the phone, got some tools out and started to work. I got on the internet and researched if this had happened to anyone else. Surprisingly, it’s happened often.

I found a couple of solutions that I tried without any success. But there was one solution I didn’t want to try. I didn’t think it would work and felt it was too risky. We all got busy and, for a couple of days, Mike was only able to text his friends.

But then one day we were mulling over what to do about the phone. Mike decided he was going to try crazy glue – the solution I thought was too risky. I wasn’t convinced, but it was his phone, so I gave him a couple of tips and he went at it.

He used a Q-Tip, took the cotton off and filled the hollow end with crazy glue. He carefully put the Q-Tip into the earphone hole and let it sit for about 5 minutes. Then he pulled on the Q-Tip and, unbelievably, the end of the earphone jack came out.

The iPhone was fixed and this house has a new fixer! He’s not ready to take on this responsibility full time yet, but I’m confident that with more coaching and lots more opportunities, this guy will be able to fix anything … just like me … well, almost.

Here’s the thing: We may get confident fixing iPhones or dishwashers, but God is the real fixer. He’s the one we need to take our brokenness and problems to. There’s nothing He can’t fix.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: When was the last time you turned to God to help or fix something in your life?  Leave your comment below.

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Different Rules Apply

There are different rules around our house when I’m on my own … to be accurate, it was my son and I who were on our own this weekend. Lily was away speaking at a women’s retreat.

Before she left, she gave us some rules to live by while she was gone. But even as she shared her expectations with us, I knew that when the door shut, a whole different set of rules would kick in.

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I listened to her directions and got some tips, like for meals she wanted us to eat the leftovers in the fridge and not spend money on food. However, I made it clear to Mike that the leftovers were for lunches and evening meals would be pizza and wings. … not together, mind you … pizza one night and then wings for the hockey game Saturday night.

I’m sure that as Lily tells us what we should eat, by now she realizes what will really happen. I think it is her eternal, optimistic, pie-in-the-sky hope that maybe we will actually follow her rules that forces her to tell us.

Along with the eating rules, the cleanliness rules go out the window as well. She knows better than to expect us to keep up to her standards. She only expects that when she returns the place will look like it did when she left. Whatever happens between then, she tries very hard not to think about.

Lily has this rule that is etched into her brain that she can’t leave the house or go to bed unless the dishes are all washed and the kitchen is clean. Mike and I don’t share the same etching in our melons! To go a day or two with a sink full of dishes is not a problem. I figure that’s why we bought a set of twelve dishes and not four.

My rule is if you leave it in the sink, put some hot water on it so that when you finally get to washing, the gunk will come off easily. It’s a good rule to follow and over the years it’s saved me a lot of time in the kitchen.

When the kids were little, keeping the place clean was more difficult. There were toys strewn all over that needed to be picked up. But now, it’s a cinch – we don’t make that much of a mess! There’s just a few clothes, crumbs, and clutter that needs to be cleaned and straightened before Lily shows up at the door.

And I know that just before she enters the house she starts imagining what it might look like. She hopes for cleanliness but braces herself for substandard neat and tidy. I know how her mind works. She played a tape in her head of what the house looked like during the weekend just to prepare herself for what she would find.

In the end, disappointment or satisfaction reigns in her, depending on whether she believes we made an effort or not.

Here’s the thing: God’s standard is perfection – something you and I can’t reach. But God has arranged it so we just have to be ready to meet Him when we die or Christ returns. God’s disappointment or satisfaction with us will be based on whether our faith is placed in Christ. And He will be able to tell if it is or not, depending on if we are seeking to please Christ or are not making any effort. Let’s all be ready.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you prepare for an inspection?  Leave your comment below.

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Santa Is Dead

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I don’t think Santa is coming back next year.

I am fully aware that it is March and we are far, far from that time of year when the jolly old fella usually shows up. However, I just happened to be driving by a house in a nearby subdivision and there was Santa lying on the ground. Pictures don’t lie … and the spears that have pinned him and his trusty helpers to the ground, don’t bode well for his return next December.

Dead Santa

No, I don’t believe in Santa Claus, but I do believe in keeping your decorations applicable to the season. I understand that some people leave their Christmas lights up all year long, but if you don’t look up too high you don’t even notice them.

Lawn ornaments, though? Come on! How hard is it to pack Santa up and put him a box? He’s already been deflated; there’s no HO, HO, HO left in him. I think the kids on the street would become a little suspect that Santa isn’t real when he is laying dead on your doorstep for three months.

As I have looked around the neighbourhood, I’ve seen lots of Christmas ornaments still on display. There was a plastic snowman on a lawn the other night with a light still shining brightly inside him. This weekend was St. Patrick’s Day – at least put a shamrock or a green scarf around his neck!

I’ll admit I’m not the first guy to take down his lights after Christmas. I usually miss the first warm day and end up taking them down when it’s freezing outside. But I get the job done by the middle of January at the latest!

Last year as I was walking around our neighbourhood, I noticed there were lots of people who still had their Christmas lights up in April and May. By looking at the condition of some of the lights, it was apparent they had been there for several years.

Maybe those people lost their ladder. Maybe their garage is so packed that the ladder is buried in there somewhere. Maybe they figure they don’t have room for lights in the basement or garage so they just leave them up.

I think that if you leave your Christmas decoration up all year you have to use them in some way, like maybe change the lightbulbs to pink and blue and white for Easter. Have your blow up Santa hold a big old Pysanka (Ukrainian Easter egg).

On Canada Day, change your lights to red and white and have your blow up reindeer sport Canadian flag saddles. On Labour Day, place them all working in the garden.

Maybe we should have a law that you get a $25 fine for having Christmas decorations up past February 1st. Here’s an idea: JUST TAKE DOWN YOUR CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS!

Here’s the thing: Sometimes we don’t deal with the sin in our lives right away. It becomes clutter in our relationship with God. We need to pay attention to the clutter or we get used to having it in our lives. The best way to take down the clutter or sin is through regular confession to God.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What tends to clutter you home, yard, life? Leave your comment below.