Apparently I’m A Binge Drinker!

The other day I had a conversation with my wife, Lily, and she called me a binge drinker. I know some of you are now eager to hear some deep, dark secret of mine. Well, don’t start salivating like one of Pavlov’s dogs for some juicy morsels just yet. Let me explain …

I was complaining to Lily about how much water I have been drinking lately and how it’s interrupting my life. The thing is, the more water you drink, the more you find yourself visiting the washroom.

I used to use the facilities only a few times a day like when I got up in the morning, at noon, around dinner time and at bed time.

Not now! I’m hitting the john about every hour or so and it’s all because I’ve been drinking more water. Since we are supposed to drink more than most of us actually do, I got an app that helps me track how much water I drink. So naturally, I’m drinking more now.

In fact, I’ll have four glasses of water from the time I get up in the morning until the end of breakfast. When Lily heard this she shook her head and said, “You’re a binge drinker” … and I guess I am in a way.

So I started thinking, “When did it become so difficult to live that I’m not even drinking my water at the proper intervals?”

It used to be that we got up in the morning and didn’t think about when we drank water; we just did it because we were thirsty. Now it seems I need to read up a little more on the subject because my water bingeing is probably not that healthy for me.

I can still walk a straight line. I can even touch my finger to my nose and I never poke myself in the eye.

People don’t tell me that I’m slurring my words after I’ve had a couple of quick glasses of water either.

But I guess I still need some help because I found out I’m drinking too much water at meal times. My daughter tells me I shouldn’t be drinking water any closer than 45 minutes before a meal.

My question is, “How did people who lived 100 years ago survive?!” I’m sure they didn’t know this stuff back then. I understand that people didn’t live as long as they do now; maybe that’s why?

I think I may need a few lessons on breathing too. Apparently I breathe out of my mouth more than I should.

I wish I had a computer chip in my brain that could be reprogrammed so that I breathe and drink properly. When I look around it amazes me how many people seem to be living fine and they don’t follow any kind of breathing rules, or drinking rules for that matter.

All I know is that my mother taught me how to drink when I was a baby and I’ve been doing it ever since. And as for breathing, well I think a doctor smacked me on the butt when I entered this world and I haven’t stopped taking a breath yet.

Here’s the thing: We can be Christians with very little understanding of what that means. But if you want your life to be effective, then getting some special training is necessary. Don’t neglect the training you can get through the study of God’s Word.

That’s Life,

Paul

Question: Where could you use some focused spiritual training? Leave your comment below.