my experiences

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Embarrassment Can Last Forever

I’m sure everyone, at some point, has wanted to kick themselves for something they did or said.  For many of us, this happens rather frequently … too frequently for my liking.

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I remember entering a Sunday School class when I was in my teens and making a snide remark about the teacher, thinking he wasn’t there yet … only to hear the teacher respond. At that moment, I wanted to take my words back.

As I recall, I didn’t remain in the class for the whole lesson that Sunday.

Then there was the time I was with a bunch of friends on a bus and I saw a man burning leaves on his front lawn. I yelled some comment out to the man which, in the moment, I thought was quite witty.

But all my friends thought it was lame – I mean really lame! I was pretty embarrassed at that moment, and every once in a while, even 40 years later, I still feel like kicking myself for making that comment.

The times we stick our foot in our mouth – or do something so dumb that the actors of “Dumb and Dumber 2” would be embarrassed for us – stay with us and its hard to forget them.

But the worst are the times we say or do things that hurt someone else. Those are the worst because it’s about more than just being mortified or humiliated; you’ve caused someone pain as a result.

By the time you’re in your 50’s, you’d think those days would be over. When the person is a loved one, like a daughter, you’d think this couldn’t happen.

But it did happen with me the other day. I was in a meeting … a prayer meeting. Four of us had grouped together and shared some personal things we wanted prayer for.

I was just about to pray for my daughter Karlie – in fact, the first few words had come out of my mouth – when my phone started to ring.

I know, you’re supposed to turn your phone off in the movies, services and prayer meetings. Well I hadn’t, and my ringer is a funky piano tune.

I panicked and went for my phone, quickly swiping my finger across the screen and answering it.

Of course being in a prayer meeting I couldn’t talk loudly, so I quietly said, “Hang on; I’m in a meeting,” as I moved to an exit.

That’s right, I left praying for my daughter to answer a phone call!

I was kicking myself all the way to the exit. And I’ve been kicking myself ever since!

How could someone do that? How could I do that? What message did I send my daughter in that moment?

I know this is one of those moments that I will cringe about every time I think of it … for years! You can’t take your actions back; you can’t undo what’s been done.

All I could do is say, “I’m sorry, Karlie. I panicked and did the wrong thing. Will you forgive me?”

Here’s the thing:  When we sin, that memory can linger with us and Satan can use it against us to discourage us, to make us too embarrassed to go to God with it. But the best thing, the only thing we should do, is confess our sin to God and move on from there. You can’t take it back. You might not even be able to forget it, but it doesn’t have to keep you from restoring your relationship with God.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What’s one of your most embarrassing moments and what did you do about it?  Leave your comment below.

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What Fall And Taxes Have In Common

Well, it’s late fall and you know what that means . . . winter is coming soon. Well, for most people that’s what it means. For me, it means running around and gathering information to send to Revenue Canada.

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It seems that every year or so at this time I’m politely asked to explain some of the deductions on my income tax.

I know it’s kind of late in the year. I submitted my tax return in March, received my notice of return back in April, and now in November I get a letter saying “wait a minute, we’d like to see some documentation to support your claim”.

I’ve had my refund for months. It’s pretty much been dispersed by now to savings, vacation and my children’s support fund.

That’s right, my kids are in their twenties but it doesn’t mean I’m not still doling out cash to them when needed.

Anyway, the revenue department usually wants to see my charitable receipts. They want to make sure I have receipts to back up my claim.

Coming up with receipts is not the problem, but because I claim receipts for previous years, I have to send them all the receipts I’m claiming and have claimed in those previous years. It is an aggravation I could really do without!

But this year is different. They want proof that I still have a son in university to claim his tuition.  Though he’s taking his sweet time finishing his degree, I don’t think 23 is an unlikely age for a son to still be wandering down the hallowed halls of higher education.

It’s an easy response – just one form to send in and I have it all ready to go. It’s the other request that bugs me: they want me to prove my claim for travel.

At one time a pastor would live beside the church and only have to walk next door. For that matter, his whole parish might be within walking distance and he wouldn’t have to drive his car very much.

But we live in the 21st century. I have appointments, meetings, visits, conferences, things to pick up, all that take place around the city and beyond … of course I use my car for work!

But the problem is they want all the receipts categorized, all my kilometres driven, and those that were driven for work, including the purpose of the mileage.

I have all that info, but it’s a pain to have to organize it all the way they want it.

Sometimes I wonder why they go after me so often. Every single time I’ve given them the documentation they asked for and it’s satisfied them.

But I have to remember it’s not some six foot, 250 pound, middle-aged man with dark grey hair and thick curly eyebrows stewing over my tax form. It’s some mainframe computer without a brain that spits out requests based on the number of 7’s or something I used in my tax return.

Next year I’m rounding everything up or down to eliminate those 7’s!

Here’s the thing: Occasionally, I don’t want to take the time to spend time with God because other things are pressing, or I’m in a hurry. Time with God then feels like an inconvenience – like having to send documents to Revenue Canada. If I keep delaying that I will be penalized. And if I make excuses for not spending time with God, I will miss out on what He has for me that day.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What gets in your way of spending time with God? Leave your comment below.

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Don’t Let Many Options Cause You To Settle

The other day I was attempting to purchase a light for our remodelled bedroom closet from the many options out there.

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I wanted a light that would come on when the doors open, and turn off automatically. My wife Lily had seen such a light at Ikea.

So rather than travel to Toronto or Ottawa, we thought we would try the three big box stores in town.

We found virtually the same options at all three stores, but not one of them had the kind of motion switch we were looking for … so much for competition!

The prices were pretty much the same, and all the stores had all the items in stock. It was like all three stores were owned by the same company, with the same purchaser, and the same salespeople telling us the same thing:

“No, there isn’t anything like that.”

My problem with that is, that in a town far away, there is a store with a product that’s like that.

The three box stores in my town are situated within a 6 km radius. They obviously want to be all together, so we can be disappointed three times within a few minutes!

Maybe they don’t feel they have to compete with a store that’s two hours away. All I know is there is a store that sells the product we’re looking for. We just have to wait for an opportune time to get to it.

I think the stores in our area know this and assume we will settle for something they offer. In fact, I almost did. I almost thought, “Turning on a light switch in the morning when I’m hunting for clothes is not that bad. I may be tired, but I can find a switch in the dark and flick it on.”

At one time, I remember we had to get up off the couch and walk over to the TV to turn it on. And then if we wanted to watch a different channel we had to get up again. I know, that was back in the dark ages, and we would never think of leaving the couch to go back to manual channel surfing now.

But it’s just one on and off switch I’m talking about. I know that even if my wife doesn’t think so, I could be trained to turn that closet light off when I’m done.

That’s the reasoning our box stores are hoping we will come to; that’s what they want us to settle for.  But they don’t know my wife.

No, we will wait, me picking out my clothes by braille each morning until we can locate a light that will illuminate my chore without having to flick my index finger.

I just hope I can find the closet doors to slide them open between now and then.

Here’s the thing: I don’t know about you, but sometimes I have too many options that fill my mind first thing in the morning. There can be an overpowering desire to get right at the most urgent thing on your list … or get distracted by something that catches your interest … or not engage your mind because you’re tired. These are all options that will keep you from doing the one thing you should do and that is spend time with God. Set your priority and don’t give in to the other options.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What other options are you presented with when you spend time with God?  Leave your comment below.

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Do You Want A Lush Yard With Little Effort?

It’s the middle of September, and the grass in my yard keeps growing like in the spring.

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By now I should only have to cut it about every two weeks. Actually, most summers when I come back from our vacation, the only things that have grown on the lawn are the weeds – about a foot high, green and lush – while all the grass around them is stubble and brown as sand.

This week I knew the lawn needed cutting. Since my neighbour was looking at his, I thought I better get out there and join him. He’d cut my grass while we were on vacation and, though it would be nice to have a handy guy next door who cut my lawn, I didn’t want to take advantage of his generous nature.

I started with my front yard and cut the part of his lawn that connects with mine before he got to it. Then I started on the back. I couldn’t believe how long the grass was. It was thicker than I’d seen it all year and still so green.

I chalked that up to the fact that we had record amounts of rain this summer – it never had a chance to dry out.

It was tough getting the lawn mower through it. I have a 5 horse power mower but it’s older and I think it’s starting to fade away.

By the time I’d finished cutting the back lawn, I had almost burnt the engine out. Three times it started to smoke and I had to pull it back so it wouldn’t stall out. But it was done.

Then I attacked the edges with the whipper snipper. I have to say that it was looking pretty good by the time I finished. In between cutting and snipping, I had a conversation with my neighbour about the strip of grass that is on the other side of our fences.

I’m not sure if we’re responsible for it or if it’s the city’s job, but my neighbour is the one who cuts it the most. In fact, he cuts his portion, mine and the guy’s on the other side of me.

When I finished the snipping, I kind of felt guilty about not doing my share on the other side of the fence, so I cut that too.

I was tired but happy when it was all done. I was thinking I wouldn’t have to cut the lawn again for maybe two weeks. I had even lowered the blade to shave the grass a little shorter.

But four days later I was looking at the lawn thinking it really needed to be cut again. I couldn’t believe it! … That’s when Lily told me she’s been fertilizing it!

No wonder my lawn is getting thicker and longer. No wonder my lawn mower is about to give up. I’m ready to give up too.

Give me back the burnt grass and tall weeds – I need a break!

Here’s the thing: I like my lawn to look good, but to look good it takes more than just cutting it every couple of weeks. It takes fertilizing to help it grow long and green, which in turn means more lawn maintenance. Your relationship with God is the same. It takes the fertilization of reading God’s Word and the maintenance of spending time with God in prayer. That kind of work will produce a good, growing relationship. But you’ve got to put in the effort.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How much effort do you put into your relationship with God? Leave your comments below.

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Trouble Comes Without Warning

The trouble with this summer has been the cool, wet temperatures.

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Well, that is until this past week. It’s September and we have finally got some hot, humid weather. If this keeps up, I’m going to really enjoy the fall – maybe it will last all winter! (I can dream.)

But the warm weather can have some side effects that are not expected or welcomed . . .

It was a warm, sunny morning, just before 7 am when I drove to work the other day. The temperature was already about 20 degrees Celsius and, as I drove to the church, the sun blinded me as I turned eastward. The light was so intense I couldn’t see anything. I couldn’t even open my eyes – which is not a good thing when you’re driving!

I quickly flipped down the sun visor so I could at least catch the outline of the road before me. I was able to get my bearings and adjust to the brightness by squinting.

At that point I was three quarters of the way in to work. I drove down a hill and then in the shade for a few minutes. As I started up another hill, that’s when the trouble started …

First, the sun was there to blind me again. And then without warning, in a split second, all the windows of the car fogged up. I mean, this was instant! My windows were clear one second and then completely fogged up the next!

I couldn’t see anything. It was foggy and sunny all at the same time. I slowed down immediately – I didn’t want to wander out of my lane or drive into someone ahead of me.

I tried my windshield wipers and since the fog was all on the outside, that cleared the front window. But even making a lane change was challenging since I couldn’t see if there was a car beside me or not.

I live in Canada; I’ve had fogged windows before. Usually it happens in the winter and that fog is on the inside caused by too much breathing from my passengers.

In those cases, you can see the fog slowly overtaking the windows and, at very least, you can ask your passengers to stop breathing for a few moments.

This particular fog, however, was so swift that it left me very vulnerable, traveling about 65 km/hr (or slightly quicker) along the road.

There was no warning, no hint of it coming, and it created a very dangerous situation in a flash.

Here’s the thing: Life can be like that fog. You’re living, breathing, functioning and, without warning, something very unexpected happens to you – you have a heart attack, you’re diagnosed with cancer, you have an injury, or a relationship issue blindsides you.

It all happens so fast. You’re left vulnerable and don’t know what to do. It’s a dangerous place to be. It’s important to know what you can do, what resources you have available to you right then. In those times, you need God. Be sure you’ve begun a relationship with Him and be in the habit of turning to Him. Then you can quickly access His help in those dangerous times.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What has happened to you in an instant and put you in a dangerous place?  Leave your comment below.

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How To Ensure Your Direction Is Right

Usually, I feel that it’s other drivers who prevent me from getting to my destination. But yesterday it seemed there was a whole conspiracy at work that had nothing to do with other drivers.

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It was more like a government conspiracy, I’m sure. It could have been something like Orwell’s “Big Brother” is watching, or a group that my dad would always rage about, “the Bilderbergs”.

Now I don’t want to begin another fearmongering rumour, but there was definitely something going on that was a little like the Twilight Zone show . . .

I was coming home from my annual planning week up at my cottage. The trip had been pretty painless coming into Toronto, when suddenly the traffic started to get heavy and then slowed down to a crawl.

I thought I was in rush hour traffic, but it was Friday night at about 9 pm – it should have been clear sailing!

As I inched my way to a connector highway (which, by the way, would take me the rest of the way home), without warning – no sign, no detour route, nothing – it was closed.

I had to go west, in the opposite direction of my home. I had planned on a 2 1/2 hour drive home from there, but that wasn’t going to happen now.

What made it worse was that there was a road worker who looked like he’d just finished putting the pylons out to block my way.

That wasn’t going to stop me. The next exit was a familiar one and I knew I could get off and back on heading east to go home. I took it and thought, “This is not going to cost me much time at all.”

As I crossed over the highway to get going east, I noticed a road crew guy putting out pylons on that ramp as well. I couldn’t believe it! How did they think people were to get home?

I needed to go east, but instead I was forced to go west, and now I was going south! I got on an eastbound street as soon as I could and then came to a route that would take me back up to my homeward-bound highway.

But as I made my way towards the ramp, it was closed too and I was forced to continue north, past the highway I wanted, and basically coerced into taking a toll highway east towards home.

(If you’re feeling a little hypnotized right about now, you can imagine how I felt!) It was right about then that it dawned on me: They are trying to funnel us all onto the pay-as-you-drive highway to get a cash infusion towards their conspiracy plans!

I never saw that road crew guy again, but I’m sure he’s taken some blood oath of some kind to belong to some dark, unknown, secret society of asphalt workers somewhere.

Here’s the thing: We can be led by circumstance, friends, cravings and opportunities to go in directions we never intended to go in. It’s not like we started out with the thought of going there or doing that, it’s just one turn led to another and, “Oh look where I am now!” The only way we can protect ourselves from that happening is to monitor our direction with God. Let God navigate your direction, and, if you get lost or off course, check in with Him to get you back on the right road.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What has been your worst road closure experience? You can leave your comment below.

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How To Live Simultaneously In Awe & Frustration

Can something be good and bad at the same time? Can you be completely frustrated and awed in the same breath? Is it okay to clench your fists in rage while gazing at something beautiful?

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Not only do I think the answer to these questions is “yes”, I know it’s “yes” because I just experienced it on the weekend.

As crazy as it sounds, it’s true.

It’s almost like that trick you do with a toddler or a baby: you distract them with something else and they stop crying. You know the child is crying because he scraped his knee, but you say “Oh look, a balloon!” The child’s attention is drawn to the balloon, he stops crying, and life is good again.

It works like a charm every time.

It doesn’t work as well with adults. You can distract them with something else, but they are not going to forget the pain (whatever type) they are in.

I played golf on a beautiful course this weekend. Six holes have been fashioned after famous golf holes from around the world. The fairways were like hitting off carpet; the greens were like bowling allies.

They even had a set of bunkers called church pews – I was tempted to try them out but I stayed away.

The day was beautiful, sunny, hot, with no wind. The course was lush, green, with dramatic undulating terrain. You wanted to take a picture at every hole. In fact, some guys in my group did take pictures as we went around.

But to contrast the startling grandeur of the course was the brutal ineptitude of my play. On the practice tees I was straight and long. On the course, I missed all but one of the fairways with carpet-like feel to them.

I was looking at a picture of magnificence at every turn, but in what I was doing there was no beauty at all.

So I would line up my putt on grass that seemed like it had been cut with my razor that very morning, but when I hit the ball I had no control of when it would stop rolling. And on every hole it kept rolling and rolling and rolling.

I was amazed by the course but I wanted to hit it at the same time. In fact, there were two occasions when I swung my club really hard at the ground after another missed green, while staring at a scene that looked so inviting I could have lived there.

During my round, I couldn’t decide which emotion should win: awe at the stunning splendour of the course or my total frustration with my game.

It seemed that for the longest time the two emotions were entwined together, stuck like a vine to a trellis.

In the end, I would not have traded my experience. It was a great day, despite the play.

Here’s the thing: We can be utterly amazed at what God has done in someone’s life or ministry.  We can marvel at results that occur that clearly point to God’s hand of mercy or power. But at the same time, we can be completely frustrated by the lack of results or answers in our own life or ministry. We live here in this contrast, and to truly embrace Christ is to give glory to God while at the same time pleading out our burdens before Him.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What has amazed you while frustrated you at the same time? Leave your comment below.

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Why Some Experiences Should Linger

There are experiences that we have that linger and others that don’t.

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At our cottage we have a firepit. It doesn’t get used much. In fact, for half of the summer we had our picnic table sitting over it. We don’t even keep a fresh supply of firewood. The wood we have in our bin is a few years old, although I understand that only makes it better for burning.

We only have fires when our kids are around or we have guests with kids. It seems like kids of all ages like to sit by a fire.

I don’t mind sitting by the fire, and at the time I rather enjoy it – unless I have a steady stream of smoke funnelling towards my eyes. I’m not the greatest fire maker, but I’m pretty good at making smoke!

Recently we had a double whammy. Our daughter was up with a friend AND we had friends with kids over who had just moved to the area. There was no getting out of a fire that night.

I was happy someone else made the fire. I just sat down and enjoyed it.

Well, I sort of enjoyed it. When I sat down the smoke was directed right at me, so I had to cover my eyes for the first few minutes. After that everyone else looked kind of blurry because my eyes were still watering.

That’s one reason I don’t like campfires. But the biggest reason I don’t like fires is because afterwards you smell like smoke. You can’t get away from the smell either.

You can change your clothes but your hair still smells smokey. And if you’re a hairy guy or gal, the smoke even hangs on those hairs on your arms and legs (not to mention your back)!

Even washing your hair doesn’t really do the trick. Somehow the fire smell clings on even through the strong scent of Irish Spring soap and Dove shampoo. You come out of the shower feeling clean except for that hint of fire when you turn your head quickly to the right (down wind).

However, there are things about campfires I do like. They’re a real good place to talk. Somehow the fire has this hypnotic effect on people where they stare into the fire and words tumble over their lips … Like that pre-op drug they give you so you can’t keep your mouth shut!

This happens in a greater degree for some than others. The more the coals glow and fire burns, the more of a calming, reflective effect the fire has on people.

In fact, sometimes nothing is said but you’re still communicating. It’s like suddenly you all have mental telepathy; you’ve crossed over to a higher state of consciousness … not really.

Hey, maybe someone should try to bottle this campfire effect! You know, just like they make potato chips with a Canadian maple bacon flavour (how does President’s Choice do that?).

Still, as great as it is, there’s that smell of smoke that lingers that you just can’t shake.

Here’s the thing:  Our time of prayer with God should be like a campfire. When you approach God there should be an easy flow of thoughts back and forth. And when you’re done, there should be a sense of that time lingering … Only you don’t want to wash that sense away; you want to bask in it.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How long does the smoke linger on you? You can leave your comment below.

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How To Receive Unexpected Gifts

Sometimes you get something unexpected, something you had really wanted but didn’t think you’d get. That happened to me this week.

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One of the signs you’re a pro at the beach is how you get all your paraphernalia to it. We have about a seven minute walk to the lake so we take everything we’re going to need with us in one trip.

In the old days (that would be the days when our children were little), we had lots of stuff to carry.

There are people who park their cars at the beach, and make trips with their coolers, chairs, blankets, umbrellas etc. Then there are those who walk and take very little, like a blanket and a book.

We like to take enough to make us comfortable for a few hours. We’ve tried a few different options over the years, and finally settled on a wagon.

We loaded everything in a big wagon and hauled it down and back each time. It worked really well, except for the person who had to pull it back from the beach (up hill all the way).

However, in the last few years we haven’t really needed the wagon but we have more beach stuff than is easily carried. We needed something in-between.

What we’ve seen work well are those baby trailers you hook up to your bike. If you’re not using them for child transportation, they work great as a wee moving van.

The problem with them is they cost loads of money – enough that it is hard to justify getting one just to take your stuff down to the beach and back.

My brother’s been looking for a used one for a couple of years now. Once he thought he found one at a garage sale but it looked broken so he didn’t bother to get it.

Just minutes later someone else bought it and it actually worked fine. John’s been kicking himself ever since for not investigating it more thoroughly.

But the other week he came across one, and the owner said he could have it – for free! It was just missing one piece, which John ordered online … it was good to go in a week.

And then the other day, John came over to my place with his trailer hooked up to his bike with all his beach stuff in it. It was sitting in our driveway when the guy across the street came over.

He asked if I also wanted a trailer because his son had one they were just going to give away. I jumped at the chance!

It was in great shape, and hooked up to my bike easily. I was now a beach pro! When you ride down to the beach with your little trailer filled with your chairs, your beach umbrella, your drinks, snacks and games, people know you’re experienced . . . that you’ve been beached.

Someday, maybe – many years from now – we may even let a grandchild or two get pulled to the beach in it.

Here’s the thing:  God sometimes surprises us with good gifts we never expected to get. When He does, be quick to recognize the source of the gift, and be thankful.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you received unexpectedly that was from the hand of God? I’d like to hear from you; you can leave a comment below.

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Why You Can’t Practice Your Faith Alone

There are things we were not meant to do alone. In fact, I would say we were created to do certain things together with others.

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Normally, my wife, Lily, and I attend a particular church while on vacation. But this weekend Lily was visiting our daughter, and the church we attend was having a farewell service for their pastor. So I decided I would not attend.

Instead, I streamed a service over the internet. I’ve never done that before because I’m usually preaching a sermon myself. I thought I would see what it was like.

The church I chose is a large church with several thousands in attendance. They also have satellite churches (nineteen of them) in other locations that have live worship music but simulcast the message on a screen.

I’ve attended conferences like this where you watch the speaker on a big screen. Since they want you to interact as if the speaker was there, they encourage you to clap when it’s appropriate, laugh out loud when he tells a joke … that kind of thing.

Basically, they want you to do the opposite of what you do at the movies yet while you’re watching a movie of someone speaking.

It goes against our natural or trained tendency of being silent and just watching the screen.

But this concept reminds me of the 1970’s film “Rocky Horror Picture Show”. I don’t recommend the movie, nor have I seen it myself.

The movie didn’t do well at the box office, but it has become a hugely popular midnight film. People show up dressed in the costumes of the characters, talk back to the screen at appropriate places, act out parts, and even throw toast and rice when applicable.

It’s extremely interactive.

Now I’m not saying that people should throw toast at the stage when they watch a preacher on a screen but there is something to say about the interactivity at church simulcasts.

It’s like watching a recording of a concert at home on your TV as opposed to being at the live event in the arena. You don’t get the interaction of the audience, and you miss the full value of the light show, the bigger than life stage, the whole sights, sounds and smells of the experience.

There is something about being there in person that you just can’t create on a screen.

As far as streaming a service to your computer goes, unless you’re with a group of friends, I don’t recommend it. Even watching the worship is less than exciting, and that’s with having the words to the songs on the screen.

It was a good message but the experience left me with no one to talk to about it; no one else experienced it with me. I was alone with my thoughts.

When it was over I felt … that’s it? Nothing else? Not even a coffee station in the foyer?

It’s always better live and in person.

Here’s the thing: You and I were not created to have a private faith experience with God. We can’t fully experience a relationship with God without others. We were created to interact with God as we engage and participate with others in worship, growth and service to our Maker.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How have you sensed a need to practice your faith with others? You can leave your comment below.