my experiences

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What Golf Can Teach Us About Handling Pressure

This week my son treated me to a game of golf – not the usual game; we actually attended a PGA Tour Canada event.

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I walked the course and never swung a club. We were watching young professional golfers who hope to one day make the big tour.

Instead of playing for million dollar prize money, these guys were hoping to take home $31,000 if they won … still not a bad paycheque for a week’s work!

A week of work playing golf on a beautiful, well-manicured course – I think I could get used to that.

We ended up following one of the Canadians in the tournament for the back nine. When we picked him up, he was about 17 under par.

I kind of thought the reason these guys were playing on this tour, and not the US tour, was because they couldn’t shoot low enough scores. But these kids could rip up courses just like the guys who are making ten times what they make in a year.

I discovered the difference between the two tours as we got closer to the 18th hole.

The guy we were following was hot; we saw him make birdies on three of his next four holes.  We kind of thought we might be watching the eventual winner.

He seemed like he was cruising, his shots were right on, he was hitting the ball long. He looked calm and confident as he made his way around the track.

But then we got to the 14th hole. He missed a 4-footer that would have got him to 21 under.

Not a big deal. However, on the next hole his tee shot took an unlucky bounce that left him with a tough second shot.

Immediately you could tell his confidence was not what it was. He still made par, but he was scrambling for it now.

For the next two holes you could see that the pressure was getting to him. He was gripping the club a little tighter and not making the shots as precisely as before.

It all came down to the last hole. We figured our guy was tied for the lead or one shot back. He needed to score a 3 on the par 5 to have a chance to win.

When the pressure is on, it’s difficult to step back and calm yourself down, to block all the voices in your head and hit the shot you want. … He didn’t hit a great shot.

He put his second shot in a sand trap behind the green. Then he imploded. He took three putts to get the ball in the hole – a bogey 6.

In the end, he went from potential winner to outright second place finisher, to ending up settling for a six-way tie for second.

Maybe one of the reasons these guys aren’t on the big tour is the mental game. They can hit the ball and putt, but when the pressure is on, they sometimes fold.

Here’s the thing: Living the Christian life can be similar to these golfers. We can be cruising along in our lives, but when the pressure comes, that’s when we need to be real pros and be able to live strong in the faith.

Prepare yourself in advance to deal with the pressure. Know God’s Word, meet with Him regularly, plan how you will respond to certain scenarios so you can whether the storm of pressure and come out victorious.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What potential circumstance could you make a plan for in advance? Leave your comment below.

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Memories … Old, Faded Memories

Memory is a very powerful thing. It can access long stored information in an instance.

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Last week my wife, Lily, and I were in Toronto celebrating our wedding anniversary. We checked into our hotel, and when we got to our room, we found it overlooked City Hall.

Our vantage from the 33rd floor allowed us to survey a large portion of real estate below.

As we gazed out the window, my eyes gravitated to a spot just behind City Hall. From what I could see, it looked very different than I remembered.

“See that street down there?” I said to Lily. “I think it’s Elizabeth Street. When I was a kid we would eat there at the Nanking Restaurant on Saturday nights.”

It was the first restaurant I ever ate in. I believe I was just a month or two old when my parents took me for my first Chinese dinner.

I’m sure I didn’t taste a delicious egg roll directly, but I definitely got it second hand.

Lily wanted to go down to the street and take a picture of the huge “TORONTO” sign that was a remnant of the Pan Am Games held there just a month ago.

After we got down to street level and Lily had her picture taken sitting in the “O” of “TORONTO”, I kind of wanted to see if I was correct on that street I spied from our hotel window.

We walked around to the back of City Hall and sure enough, it was Elizabeth Street. When my family started eating at the Nanking, City Hall wasn’t even there. But now everything has completely changed.

The Nanking wasn’t there and it seemed like there was no trace of anything that I remembered. There was no Lichee Gardens on the other side of the street – just all new buildings.

But I wondered about the building where the Nanking was. It looked different. It was a government office now … the department of environment or something.

I was trying to figure out if it was the same building, but Lily thought the outside looked too new to be 60 plus years old.

I was still curious. I walked through one of the doorways, and my memory was pricked; it was foreign yet there was something that seemed to fit.

I motioned to Lily, “I’m not so sure this is a new building. I think the entrance was here and you could either go to the right into a smaller lounge or to the left into the large dining room” … which probably wasn’t as large as I remembered as a child.

Lil didn’t think I was right. There was a stucco kind of treatment on the building that gave it a 70’s look.

But as we walked past, down the side street, and turned to look at the back of the building, sure enough you could tell by the back, where there was no updated exterior facade, that this building was old.

Just as I remembered! I hadn’t accessed that information in years, hadn’t been on that street for 45 years, yet I could recall it all. Amazing memories we have!

Here’s the thing: Your memory of how God has worked in your life can encourage you, give you hope that He will continue – even give you determination. But don’t rest on just those memories, only use them to fuel knew adventures with God. Don’t get stuck in the past.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What past memory has kept you from moving forward? Leave your comment below.

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The Future Is Not What You Might Think

I’ve seen the future and it doesn’t look too bright. … Of course, that may have been because I saw the future in a dimly lit movie theatre.

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I don’t go to the movie theatre all that often, and even less to a matinee, but my wife and I were on vacation and we decided to do a movie and dinner.

Shortly after seating myself in the high-backed, swivel chair with my armrest ready to be loaded with a 40 oz cup of coke, I saw the future. Maybe it wasn’t my future, but it was definitely the future!

I started to notice that the people sitting around me were all quite a bit older that Lily and me. And as others came in, I noticed it took them a long time to walk up the stairs to their seats.

Some of them stopped half way to take a breather, others used the handrail like they had just dropped off their walkers and were in need of a little support.

There was some guy behind me who was rustling a bag of something that he probably smuggled into the theatre. I’m sure he couldn’t hear the constant noise that bag was making but  it was definitely not music to my ears!

At that point, it dawned on me how much we had paid to get in. When it seemed like we were only being charged for one ticket, I had questioned the cashier on the price. The girl assured me that it was cheap Tuesday.

I started to put it all together. I never really knew who went to matinees before; I had thought they was mostly for kids’ movies. I suddenly realized that it’s seniors who go to matinees – and not just young seniors, it’s those who are in their seventies and up.

The cashier must have taken us for seniors and charged us the seniors’ rate for cheap Tuesdays.

And now you too know the future: some day going to a matinee will be the normal thing to do.

It’s practical because there are no lineups and there are lots of seats to choose from. Movies are loud so no need to turn on that nasty, bothersome hearing aide. And you get out in time to have dinner at the seniors’ residence or at least before the evening rush at the restaurants.

The whole thing was an eye opening experience. It was the first time I came out of a movie theatre squinting because I’d just spent a couple of hours in the dark and the sun was still high in the sky.

It wasn’t a bad experience; in fact, some day I can see it being all the rage.

Here’s the thing: When we look to the future, we usually look ahead 5, 10, 20 years from now. We imagine and plan for what might be or what we want life to be like. But when we look that way, we miss the future we should be focussing on. In the book of Colossians, chapter three and verses one and two, it tells us to “set our hearts and minds on things above.” We often limit our thinking, planning and preparing to what’s coming ahead in this life. But God wants us to be thinking, planning, preparing and living with our whole being focussed on what’s above – on heaven. So in your future planning, think of things above as you prepare and live out your days here below.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you usually focus on when thinking of the future? Leave your comment below.

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How Distance Gets In the Way Of Your Relationships 

We have all become distant from someone or something at times in our lives. Sometimes it’s due to personal issues that have arisen; sometimes proximity or miles are at the core of the issue.

 

I remember when we moved from Edmonton to Kingston. Our kids were just 6 and 4, and didn’t completely understand the whole distance thing. We were at the end of our third day of travel, and had arrived at the motel we were staying at for the night. I don’t think we’d even unpacked our bags.

Our 4 year old son was sitting on the bed beside his sister. It was one of those moments that no one was saying anything; we were just kind of getting ourselves adjusted to the room for the night.

Out of nowhere Michael said, “I want to go home.” It was a sad comment coming from a little boy who didn’t know where he was or where he was going. What made the comment worse was his big sister’s response.

Immediately after Michael said “I want to go home”, Karlie replied, “Michael, we don’t have a home.”

… A killer comment to a couple of parents who were taking their kids away from what they knew as home and were feeling a little in limbo ourselves!

At that moment we all felt distant from everything we were close to, familiar and comfortable with.

There are other times when disagreements, arguments or even interpretations of events cause two people to feel distant from each other. You could be in the same home at the time, and that distance might only last a few minutes or an hour, but there is a sense of distance between the two individuals.

The other day, I experienced yet another kind of distance. Lily and I were staying in a hotel room. The room was great, very comfortable; we liked the room from the moment we entered it. We felt at home in it.

One of the features of the room was that it had a king-sized bed … and for two nights, Lily and I felt distant from each other.

We didn’t have an argument, and we didn’t sleep in separate beds – we just lost each other in the king-sized bed!

In a bed that big, you can go a whole night and never even bump up against each other. It’s like you are sleeping by yourself because as far as you can stretch or move, there’s no contact with your spouse.

You actually have to work at not becoming distant from each other in a king-sized bed. Both mornings I found myself on one side of the bed while Lil was way over on the other side.

I don’t know what it was, but we just drifted apart in the night … both nights. We didn’t want to drift apart, but it happened in spite of our desire and intent.

Here’s the thing: You can become distant from God when sin in your life keeps you running from Him. You can feel distant when you hold something against God because He didn’t answer your prayer request. But you can also just drift away from Him, become distant from Him, by not working at staying in close proximity. Make sure that you are actively seeking God, talking to Him, spending time with Him and His word. Make time to worship Him everyday. Don’t become distant.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you become distant from in the past year? Leave your comment below.

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How To Prepare For Being Startled

Some people get startled more easily than others. It doesn’t take much for me to jump when someone happens to show up in my office without me hearing them come in or seeing them out of the corner of my eye.

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I don’t know why it is; I’m not a nervous person. But if someone appears out of nowhere and even says “hi”, whoa, that gets my heart pumping fast.

I remember years ago when I was a youth pastor, we would play a game called “Sardines”. It was a version of hide and seek, where we would turn out all the lights in the church, making it pitch black dark.

One person was “it” and his job was to hide. Everyone else tried to find him and then hide with him in the dark until there was just one person looking for the whole group.

During the game, I took it as my job to scare the life out of the junior high girls. I would go in a room and wait for a pack of girls to enter. They could see nothing but, of course, they couldn’t stop talking.

At a quiet moment, I would yell at the top of my lungs and, though I couldn’t see them, I knew by their reaction they had hit their heads on the ceiling they had been scared so badly … but that was a long time ago.

A few weeks ago, Lily and I were sleeping, pretty much sound asleep, when there was a loud crash. It woke both of us up. I definitely was started, but Lil … I thought she was going to have a coronary!

She couldn’t calm down after that; she was concerned that someone might be in the house. I tried to convince her that everything was alright, but nothing would get her to settle until I checked the house.

So I went to get up and that’s when I saw what had startled us and ruined our sleep. It was a wood valance that was over our closet doors. Apparently, the manufacturers thought that 3M made a double-sided tape that was strong enough to hold up a 6 foot light piece of wood … forever.

For whatever reason, the tape lost its grip in the middle of the night – at 1:57 am to be precise.

Though I wasn’t startled nearly as badly as Lily, being woken up at that time in that way got my mind going and I had a very difficult time getting back to sleep.

I think for Lily, her heart rate shot up so high so fast that it exhausted her and she fell back asleep rather quickly.

The effects of being startled don’t last a long time, but it probably take a few years off your life every time it happens. So my advice is be aware – always.

Here’s the thing: There is going to be a time when either we die or Christ returns that will definitely be startling. It will shake us all to the core, but the only way you will be able to get calm after that, the only way you will get peace is to know Jesus Christ as your saviour. Otherwise, that startle will be just the beginning of an eternity of fear. I suggest you prepare now if you haven’t already. Find out about Christ, who He is, what He did and how He can change your life.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What startles you? Leave your comment below.

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Perfect Timing Is Over-Rated

Timing is everything! A split second off and you miss the shot, you hit the car, you don’t catch your plane . . . well, maybe not.

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My wife and I recently needed to fly from Toronto to Thunder Bay.

Lily had figured out all the details, the flights, the car park, and of course, the time it would take us to get to Toronto, drop the car off and get to our gate with plenty of time to spare.

It all sounded good on paper, but then again, paper doesn’t say anything – it’s all what you read into it. What we didn’t read into the plan was the traffic we might encounter in getting to our destination.

Right from the get-go, the traffic was a little heavier that I had thought it would be. Our 2 1/2 hour drive to Toronto took us a little longer, but we had some extra time built in so I wasn’t fretting.

… until we got about 20 kms from the airport.

The 401 was bumper to bumper, stop and go. There was panic in the car from the navigator’s seat. I can’t tell you how many times I heard the words, “We’re not going to make it!”

There were hurdles all the way. Every time we thought we were catching a break, there would be a roadblock. I thought we were on the TV Show “Amazing Race”.

There was no way we would make the check-in time so Lil checked us in electronically using her phone.

When we finally got off the 401, we thought we maybe had a chance. Then I missed a turn. We drove right past the parking lot for our terminal, but unfortunately we needed to get to the off-site park-and-ride place we’d booked.

When we found the park-and-ride, we thought we might have a chance if they were fast, but there was a car ahead of us who was taking forever to register. Panic filled the air space along with suggestions that we should have paid the extra money and parked at the terminal.

When we finally registered, we were told to pull ahead and wait for the shuttle, then follow it to where we should park before going to the airport. Unfortunately, the shuttle guy didn’t know the script because when he showed us where to park he told us to wait for the back-up shuttle to take us.

More waiting! The waiting was killing my navigator, but it wasn’t long before our shuttle appeared. We told the driver of our predicament and he was pretty calm about it all … though he wasn’t the one scrambling to make a flight that left in twenty minutes!

We ran to security, and there were greeted by a long line ahead of us. Lil said something to the security guard and she took us to the front of the screening line, along with a scolding for not getting to the airport earlier.

Once through security, Lil ran ahead while I carried the bags.

We still had quite a distance to get to our gate and a wrong turn down a hallway didn’t speed up the run. We finally got there, tired and out of breath … and they were still boarding the plane!

We made it.

Here’s the thing: I started praying as soon as we hit traffic on the 401, and even though there were glimpses of hope, each glimpse was met with another impossible hurdle. Yet somehow, some way, against all odds God got us on that flight. Never doubt the power of God in any situation.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: When did God come through for you when all hope was lost? Leave your comment below.

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Why You Should Sit Still For Needles

In my last post, I wrote about not being too keen on going to see the doctor. One of the reasons is they like to stick you with needles.

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Actually, the doctor doesn’t often give the needles; he gets a nurse to do it. That way the patient doesn’t have any animosity towards his doctor; it’s directed towards the nurse!

So not only does the nurse have to do all the dirty work, she also has to be the bad guy. I’m sure that’s why doctors go to school so long, so they have the upper hand on the nurses. It’s a good gig.

Anyway, I said in my last post that I’m not a real fan of needles. I’m not sure when this started, but If I can avoid them I do. It’s not that they hurt – sure, there’s the prick and maybe a little discomfort, especially if they are injecting a boat load of typhoid in you for going over seas, but it’s not bad.

My problem with needles has to do with the whole process: someone sticking something sharp in you while you are sitting still letting it happen. That’s not natural. … You squirm, you move, you fight back to protect yourself – THAT’S the proper response to any kind of personal invasion.

It also bugs me to see that pointy end go into a vein that’s been all pumped up (man, I’d make a terrible drug addict).

You put all those things together and that might be the reason I don’t like needles.

I don’t even like to get them when they can keep me from another kind of pain. For instance, I don’t get freezing when I go to the dentist. I’d rather face the drill on my own than get a needle.

Besides, I like walking out of the dentist’s office not being numb or feeling like my lips are three inches thick.

I don’t want to be that guy who’s unaware that he’s drooling out the left side of his mouth when being introduced to someone for the first time. I have enough problems with spilling food on my clothing, I don’t need a growing wet spot down the front of my shirt as well.

I once had a fifteen minute discussion with a nurse in a hospital emergency room in Regina, weighing the pros and cons of getting a tetanus shot. When I finally said yes and started to roll up my sleeve, she said, “Oh no, it’s going in your rear.”

Well it took me another five minutes to agree to that. I had visions of tensing up so much she would have to put her foot on my rear to yank the needle out!

… It wasn’t nearly as bad as I imagined it would be.

My latest adventure of having my blood tested last week brought back all my memories. The nurse wasn’t the best at giving needles, but she was quick and that’s maybe just as good.

Here’s the thing: Temptation is like getting a needle, where you purposely put yourself in a place of having a painful experience. If we don’t have an exit plan, or try to avoid being tempted in the first place, it’s like sitting down, keeping still and letting someone stick a needle in you. When temptation has its way with us, it leads to sin and, though maybe the pain of that sin is not felt immediately, there will be pain. I’d urge you to avoid that pain. Don’t sit and take it; have a plan when temptation comes.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What kind of a plan do you have for temptation? Leave a comment below.

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Why You Shouldn’t Wait To Commit

It’s no secret that I’m not a frequent flyer at the doctor’s office. I will see my doctor if there is something wrong with me, or on occasion when my wife pleads with me long enough to get checked out.

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Last summer was one of those occasions. In a weak moment, I said I would see my doctor or at least get my blood checked.

I got the form about a year ago, but it was so close to my vacation that I decided to wait until after to go to the lab to let them extract some blood from me.

I’m really not a fan of needles so it’s not something I do just on a whim. I avoid needles at all cost (I’ll write about that in my next blog). I’ve even been known to understate the last time I had a tetanus shot, so they didn’t have to stick me when I was getting stitches.

After my vacation, I delayed going for another couple of weeks, but by the first week of September I got the job done.

Then there came the waiting game. Would I hear from my doctor or would everything check out just fine? I kind of kept my fingers crossed for two weeks, and I didn’t hear anything.

I thought I was in the clear but I still held my breath for another week, just in case.

Then, at the end of the third week, my doctor told me my cholesterol was high. He gave me a couple of options: increase my cholesterol meds or lose weight.

I wanted to try to lose weight because, along with not being a fan of needles, I’m not a fan of medication either.

I was pumped and energized to get going. All fall the weight started coming down … then Christmas came and I lost my focus.

In the new year, my weight bumped up a little bit, so I couldn’t get my blood checked to see if my cholesterol had gone down. I wasn’t near my goal.

By February my doctor gave me the form to get my second blood test. I kept holding off because I couldn’t discipline myself to reach my goal.

Finally, this summer I made some headway on my weight loss again, and though I didn’t reach my goal, I’m hoping that my weight will be low enough to give me a good cholesterol score.

The other day, a year after I received my first lab requisition form, I took my second form (which I’ve had for six months), and got my blood tested.

I’ll let you know how things turn out.

Here’s the thing: When God calls us to make a commitment to something or take on a ministry role of some kind, sometimes our response is that we just need to work on an area of two before we say yes. The problem is there will always be something that causes us to think, “I’m not ready yet”. … If God is calling you to something now, just do it. He knows what you need to work on and He will work on you as you are obedient to His calling.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What has kept you from moving forward with God? Leave your comment below.

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Change Happens Over Time

A lot can happen over a long period of time. You don’t notice the change at first because it takes time to develop.

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Recently, we cleaned the deck in our backyard. When we moved in to our house the wood was pressure-treated and it looked great. But over the years it started to look grey and old and there were dark patches that became more dominant.

It didn’t just happen; it gradually got that way so that it kind of snuck up on us. But one day we realized we needed to do something about this deck; it was not looking very good.

Scientists will say that’s the way the whole world works; it’s called evolution. Given enough time, things develop. One problem I see with their theory is that, with everything at my house that changes over time, it changes for the worst!

It deteriorates; it doesn’t get better, or turn into something new and improved. Things get worse.

You might not notice for a while, or pick up on the little signs, or indicators, but down the road at some point you realize that things are not as they were, and it’s not for the better.

This week Lily discovered something in our basement that had developed over the last week or so. I had sort of noticed that there was something going on in our basement, but it wasn’t totally clear to me.

On Friday night, Lily was talking on the phone and walking in the basement when she stepped on a wet part of the carpet.

It wasn’t supposed to be wet there and, as she looked further, she discovered that this wet area was pretty large. It had soaked the bottoms of book cases, a closet organizer and some picture frames.

When Lily told me, I realized what I had noticed earlier – a faint, musty smell that was actually coming from this water.

We knew right away where the problem originated. I had fixed a few taps in the house last week and, in doing that, had to shut off the water in the house. Well, the tap at the water meter had been dripping slowly since that time.

I guess it turns out that taps only last nineteen years because I’ve now replaced all the taps that old in the place!

It’s pretty amazing how a little drip over time can soak such a large piece of carpet and ruin several things. If it had have been a faster drip, I probably would have noticed it and not left it.

But I didn’t notice the leaky tap, and a week later it had created a mess!

It takes some people time to notice things. A few days ago, I was talking to someone and he motioned at my face. I knew immediately what he was referring to – my goatee … which is not there anymore and hasn’t been for a year and half.

There were no lasting effects with my facial hair going undetected. However, we have a big clean up ahead of us from that undetected drip in our basement.

Here’s the thing: Messes, like sin and hurts, if not addressed, can interfere with your relationship with God. They may not be that noticeable at first, but as more messes pile up, the damage to your relationship with God can get to the point where everyone around you notices things aren’t right. Don’t let the little things go unattended and you will keep your relationship with God in good shape.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you noticed that turned into something big? Leave your comment below.

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Silent Communication 

Have you ever wished you had gotten the silent treatment? You know, when someone refuses to speak to you even if you coax them?

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I can’t say that I’ve experienced that in my marriage. Neither Lily nor I use that method of communication.

It sounds funny to say “silence” and “communication” in the same sentence. But we do communicate through silence.

I had an instructor once who had a line he would use all the time in teaching leadership. He would say, “You can not not communicate.” It had a double negative thing going on and sounded funny to hear and to say, but it’s true.

Even in silence there is communication.

When someone goes silent, they may be communicating that they’re mad – believe me, it doesn’t take a mind reader to figure that out!

That’s just one thing that silence can communicate; there are many others …

When someone is silent, it might mean they are sad, depressed, don’t know the answer or don’t know what to say. … Mind you, there are a lot of people who don’t know things but it doesn’t stop them from sharing what they don’t know with words that almost sound like they do know!

Often when someone is silent, we don’t like it. We get uncomfortable when there is silence; we’re so used to having something in the background, some kind of noise.

When we drive in a car, we often have a radio or music playing, even if it’s low and hard to hear. It’s better than just plain silence.

In my car, silence is never an issue. I always have the sound of wind that gets louder the faster you go. They usually call that white noise, but what I experience is beyond white noise.

White noise is gentle, quiet, relaxing, in the background. In my car it sounds like a hurricane is going to break through the glass at any moment and whisk me out of Kansas, right to the land of OZ!

Silence, however, can be appreciated. We have all been in those conversations that we just wished and prayed would end.

Children with their inquisitive minds can make us long for silence … that’s when you play the car game, “Let’s see who can hold their breath the longest as we drive by this grave yard.” Oh, the quiet bliss of those moments of dead air space!

Two people who are very comfortable can remain silent in the same room or place, maybe reading different books, or thinking on their own. But it gets weird if it goes on too long, before someones says, “Hey, listen to what I just read” or “What are you thinking about that’s so funny?”

We were made to communicate, and we do it even in silence. Even when there is nothing to say, even when we can’t find the words to express what we are feeling or thinking.

Here’s the thing: Sometimes God seems silent, and we desperately want to hear from Him. Unfortunately, we don’t have a face or body language to look at to give us a clue as to what He is communicating to us in the silence. The one thing we should not stop doing is seeking to understand what His silence means. Don’t give up; don’t turn away. Keep coaxing, keep investigating what God is saying in the silence.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you feel when God is silent? Leave your comment below.