my experiences

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Live Life By The Codes

There used to be unwritten rules that you lived by. I’m not sure, but maybe some of those codes are changing – certainly some are disappearing.

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We all know some unwritten rules, things you just do or don’t do. No one has to say anything; it’s just the way things work.

When I was a kid one of those codes was that you didn’t tell on your brother. Nobody told me to do that; it was just what you did.

There are all kinds of these unwritten rules that we follow to help one another out, to be on the same side.

But some of these rules or codes that we live by aren’t being followed anymore.

In hockey there used to be an unwritten rule that you didn’t go after the superstar of the team. You didn’t try to hit him too hard; you didn’t cheap shot him.

But that code started to disappear so they had to put a tough guy on the same line as the superstar as a deterrent. It was like a warning: you lay a finger on Wayne Gretzky and you will pay the price of having Dave “Cement Head” Semenko come after you.

Now it’s a free-for-all on the superstars of the team. The game has changed and the enforcers are not there anymore.

And maybe that’s what it’s like everywhere … times have changed and it’s just different.

There used to be a code among drivers that a car coming the opposite way would flash their lights to warn you if there was a police radar up ahead. It was common practice.

It’s illegal now – maybe it always was – and people don’t do it anymore.

There is no code of the road for drivers to look out for each other. It’s no longer us against the speed trap.

But I got a break the other day.

I was going up a hill on a highway, maybe going a little fast … maybe. There was a line of cars coming down the hill the other way. In the middle of the pack I thought I noticed a car flash his lights. I almost missed it because it was so unusual.

I took my foot off the accelerator. As I got to the crest of the hill and started down the other side,  there he was – a black and white OPP waiting for me.

Well, thankfully he wasn’t waiting for me because someone on the other side of the hill remembered the code and warned me.

We were on the same team; it was us against them. I kind of doubt that many others caught the same warning I did. We just don’t live by that code anymore.

The unwritten code of the road is you look out for your fellow drivers. It’s a great code. Unfortunately, most of us drive in such a way that our fellow drivers are our competition or enemies on the road.

… Driving might be a whole lot more enjoyable if we followed the codes.

Here’s the thing: There are faith codes as well. When someone confides in us, the unwritten code is to pray for that person or issue – not just once, but to keep that person in your prayers. However, with our busy, more self-centred lives, we often fail to live by the code. Get back to praying for the needs of others who bring their concerns to you … and keep at it.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What unwritten code would you like to bring back? Leave your comments below.

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He Was Just One Step Behind

We are all just one step ahead or one step behind someone else.

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We are either in a position to help someone who’s coming up behind us or to seek the advice of someone who’s already doing what we are about to do.

The other day I watched the Olympics 100 metre final with Usain Bolt and our Canadian kid, Andre De Grasse.

He pronounces his name “De Grass” but it should be pronounced “Degrassi” because of the Canadian TV show that made the name so popular. Even Usain Bolt, in an interview after the run, referred to him as “Degrassi”.

The whole way through the race Usain was just a step ahead of Andre. When it was over, they congratulated each other like big brother, little brother.

There was the sense that this young kid will be stepping into the shoes of the great runner, Usain Bolt.

This isn’t something that only athletes do.

All of us have opportunities to glean from people who are just a step ahead of us or help those who are coming up behind us.

I recently got a phone call from a friend who had a heart attack a couple of months ago. He had heard from my brother that I had had one four years ago. He wanted to ask me some questions as he was a step behind me.

We shared our stories of how the attacks went down, and then compared the medications we were taking. He had questions about how he was feeling and the side effects to some of the drugs.

He wanted to know what the future would hold for him, and I was enough of a step ahead to be able to give him some comfort.

It was interesting, though, as I reflected back. At first, all I remembered were the positive things – I remembered how easy the recovery was.

But as we talked and he shared some of his concerns, I remembered having some of those same thoughts. His experience jogged my memory.

But from my experience, I was able to dispel some of his concerns that could cause anxiety. Looking at me, one step ahead, he could have hope that it was going to be alright for him, too.

You know, it’s great to have that kind of relationship, where both people sense they are not alone, that someone else knows what they are going through. There is a feeling that you are part of a brotherhood, a fraternity that shares a common trait or quest or experience.

There are things that only those who’ve experienced what you’ve experienced can share together.

It gives you a sense that there are others who understand you, identify with how you feel, and know the kinds of thoughts you have, who you can go to to work through some of your questions.

Andre De Grasse and Usain Bolt, both draped in their reflective flags, walked arm in arm, while Usain whispered some words of encouragement to the man who was just one step behind him.

… and you know those words were good by the smiles on both of their faces.

Here’s the thing: We call this relationship mentoring and, no matter what you are experiencing in life, there is probably someone close by you who’s one step ahead or one step behind. Seek them out; it’s how we go forward, in life and with God.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: Who has been your greatest mentor? Leave your comments below.

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You Can’t Capture It

“You just can’t quite capture it,” I thought to myself as I looked over my wife’s shoulder. She was taking pictures of the sunset.

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It was spectacular that night, but what I viewed on her screen didn’t compare to what I saw just above the horizon of her phone.

Almost every night it’s the same thing. Well, it’s different in that the sunset is brand new every night, but it is just as amazing one night to the next.

All we can do is capture a portion of it, a scaled down version and reminder of what we really saw. We can’t capture the vast scope of it, nor can we capture the depth of what our eyes drink in. There is nothing like it.

The crazy thing is it’s free. Every night it only costs us a twelve minute walk, or a three minute bike ride down to the shore to take it all in.

My wife, Lily, and I were at a market the other day where someone was selling large prints of nature scenes. There were pictures of the beach, flowers and trees in the woods.

They were all stunning and inviting. They were also so cheap I wanted to buy at least one, but we didn’t have a wall that was big enough to hang one on. And how long could I look at the same picture without wanting, needing something different to look at?

Even with the cheap cost and beauty of these images, they paled in comparison to the free sunsets that go for as far as your eye can see, until the sun dips below the horizon on the lake.

And these sunsets are different every night. One displays a pale blue sky overlaid with light orange ribbons of colour. Another is a dark red fireball that sends deep pink and purple brush stokes across the clouds to complete the vista.

You can’t keep them though. You want to take one home, to look at it and then be able to look back at it again.

And maybe again.

But it is gone when the darkness takes over and erases the enormous etch-a-sketch in the sky.

People, all kinds of them, with their cameras and phones, lingered to take captive one last shot of the never returning sunset before them.

There was a little sense of melancholy at the end, but not too much because everyone there knew there would be a new one the next night.

I was ready to go for ice cream, but Lily wanted a few more pictures and even after that she wanted to just stand and watch for a while, as if it was an intriguing drama on the big screen.

No, it’s just a sunset. It’s big and bold; it changes every day, and it’s free for all. You just can’t really capture it.

Here’s the thing: You can’t capture a picture of a sunset that really shows what it’s like, but the sunset captures you. And that is God’s intent with creation. He has made it so it will draw us to His beauty, grandeur and magnificence. We can’t capture or fully understand God, but He can capture our hearts and our minds with what He has made for us. Allow God to capture your heart; the encounter will be new and fresh every day like a sunset.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: Where have you seen the best sunsets? Leave your comments below.

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I’ve Been Waiting For A Long Time

Waiting is something we do all the time, but not that well. I guess I shouldn’t speak for everyone; there must be someone out there who’s good at waiting.

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But I would say, on average, not many of us enjoy it. We are programmed to get things fast.

I was recently at a farmers’ market and there were all kinds of people at this one booth, trying to purchase vegetables.

The seller was helping one person at a time, but I noticed a woman getting things herself. Then instead of waiting until the seller had finished with someone else, she handed a five dollar bill over everyone’s heads, showed what she had and left. She didn’t wait at all.

Most of us would do that if we could (if we didn’t think it was impolite to butt in line) because we hate waiting.

I just read the other day that there are three hour wait times at the border to get into Canada from the USA. Our dollar is down, and gas is fairly cheap. Why not take a trip to Canada for vacation?

Well, a three hour wait at the border apparently has everyone up in arms. Travellers are pulling their hair out.

Can you imagine a car with a few kids in the back seat, continuously asking, “When are we going to get there?” … and the car hasn’t moved more that five feet in the last twenty minutes?!

Vacation? Those kids will be lucky if they survive the trip through the Canadian border.

Merchants are all up in arms as well. They say that every minute of delay at the border is more money not spent in Canadian stores. They want the government to either schedule or hire more customs officers, like right now!

Forget all this waiting! It’s tough; it’s not easy; we hate it.

But what about waiting on God?

Recently, I needed to fill a preaching assignment for just after my vacation. Usually I have that all set up before I go away, but this year I had already been turned down once and had to wait into my vacation for an answer from a second person.

One week into my vacation I got an answer that he wasn’t going to be available, so I needed a plan B.

Just as I thought of a plan and was about to act on it, I received an email from someone in my congregation who felt compelled to share with everyone what God has been doing in his life.

By the end of the second week of my vacation I had my speaker. I had to wait two weeks for God to provide, but when it was all said and done, I didn’t have to do anything to arrange it. God took care of it.

All I had to do was wait – not easy to do, but sometimes that’s what it takes.

Here’s the thing: We do have to wait for a lot of things in life. We have to wait in lines, at bank machines, restaurants, border crossings, movie theatres, and pretty much anything else you can think of. We also have to wait on God for things. Waiting is not the enemy; waiting is part of life. When it comes to God, waiting on Him will bring the best to whatever we are waiting for. Don’t tear your hair out, or fixate on the waiting. Relax, keep going and see what God will bring about.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you need to wait on God for that’s been frustrating you up until now? Leave your comments below.

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Frustrated On The Road Again

Traveling the other day, I found myself a little frustrated. The conditions were good; the sun was shining, and the road was dry.

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The traffic, though heavy, was moving at a good pace.

I had some music on and really, what more could you ask for? … Not much, except I would have liked the guy in front of me to get out of the way!

I found him a little annoying. Well, to be honest, a little more than annoying.

For one thing, he didn’t drive at a steady pace. He would keep up with the traffic ahead of him for a few minutes, but then slow down by almost 10 km/hr. I found I was on the gas, off the gas the whole trip.

I would have passed him but it was only a two lane highway and there was steady traffic coming the other way.

I figured he wasn’t much of a skater – he had to have weak ankles not to be able to keep his foot on the gas at an even pressure for very long.

I found myself analyzing what he was probably like. I came up with his personality traits and the kinds of things he was thinking about.

If I had have had a police sketcher in the seat next to me I think I probably would have been able to come up with a fairly good picture of what he looked like.

My picture might not have looked anything like the guy in real life, but it was dark out and so we will never know for sure.

Let’s just say my description fit him to a T.

The other thing that bugged me about his driving was he used his brakes all the time. We were driving on a highway; there were no lights, just straight road!

There was no need to touch the brakes, but it was like he needed to hit them frequently just to make sure the pedal was still there or that someone hadn’t tampered with his brake line.

Like in most things, momentum is key. I’ve learned in mountain biking to try to use your brakes as little as possible, because any forward momentum you’ve built up will be lost as soon as you put on the brakes. Coasting is a better way to control your speed than stepping on and off the brakes.

However, on a bike when you loose momentum, you have to expend a lot of energy pedalling to get it back. In a car you just have to put your foot back on the gas pedal … unless you have weak ankles and can only sustain the pressure on the gas for a short amount of time, like the guy who was driving in front of me.

In the end we parted ways. He turned off the road, and someone else had to drive behind him and get all frustrated.

As for me, I’ll forget about him, but there’s plenty others out there who will take his place in front of me.

Here’s the thing: Life can frustrate you at times. You may even be a little frustrated with God, feeling like He is not clearing the way for you. Patience is required, and maybe that’s what you need God’s help for more than anything else.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What has you frustrated lately? What will you do about it? Leave your comments below.

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When YouTube Strikes The Funny Bone

YouTube is a source for help and a source of humour … and sometimes one video can pull together both those elements.

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In my last post I wrote about how I was thinking of putting in some kind of watering system for our lawn. It’s been so dry that the only things that remain green are the weeds.

For research I turned to YouTube. It doesn’t matter what you are working on, or thinking of doing, someone has already attempted it and has recorded it on video for the masses to see.

There is a world of practical information and tutorials out there made by well-meaning people. I say “well-meaning” because there is a vast array of quality when it comes to these videos.

There are those who try to show you what to do, or tell you what they are doing, all while they are also holding the camera. It’s like they are filming on the back of a moving horse.

Then there are those who are over instructive. They want to make sure they have not left anything to the viewers’ imagination or interpretation.

And there are some who can pull together an instructive video that really is helpful.

In my search for a video to show me possible methods of in-ground water sprinklers, I found one who took forever explaining things I and every 10 year old on the planet already knew.

But along the way a video caught my eye. It was two young guys showing how to make an in-ground system for under $20.

The video started with the equipment and tools you would need to do it. Then they demonstrated how you would install their system. This is where it got funny.

They had found a 50 foot garden hose on sale for $2.49, which would really help their price point.

They showed how to mark the path of where the hose would go and put a sprinkler head on one end. They attached the other end to the water source coming out of the house. They then dug up the ground along the path of the hose.

Before they actually buried the hose underground, they had one issue to take care of: they had bought a 50 foot hose but only needed about 20 feet of it for their project.

Now, you have to remember these young guys were about 12-14 year old kids. So instead of cutting the hose to the length they needed, they suggested you coil the excess hose and bury it.

That’s right, you heard me! This sprinkler head was going to be at the corner of a garden, so they coiled 30 feet of hose, dug a shallow grave for it in the garden, and covered it up.

It was my laugh for the day. I’m still chuckling a week later!

… Definitely informative and funny.

Here’s the thing: Don’t be all serious when you read the Bible. There are things in there that will make you smile, and even laugh if you let them. Sometime you might find yourself chuckling with God as you read about Gideon and his battle against the Midianites without weapons. Sometimes you might chuckle at how much you are like the characters in the Bible. God’s Word is both instructive and, yes, it can be funny too, in places.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you found to be a funny passage in the Bible? Leave your comments below.

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Some Disasters Turn Into Adventures

Sometimes a disaster is a disaster and we remember it for what it was. But sometimes a disaster turns into an adventure over time.

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I was reflecting the other day on a camp adventure – I mean disaster – I was party to many years ago …

I was directing a week of junior high camp north of Edmonton at Camp Nakamun.

For one of the activities that week I planned to take the whole camp of about 60 campers, plus councillors and support crew, on a lazy river float.

I got the owner of a tire company to give me 100 inner tubes. It was going to be awesome!

The plan was to plop ourselves in the water at a designated spot, float for one and a half hours, then pull up to shore and get picked up by the bus.

It was a great plan … but I wasn’t there when they did the trial run. Everyone assured me that it would go like clockwork so I had no fears.

The day came and we all got in the water and started floating down the Pembina River. About a half a kilometre downstream, I floated by one the staffers who had gone on the trial run. He was looking back at the bridge from which we were dropped into the river.

He said to me very calmly, “I’m not sure that’s the spot we started from when we did our trial.”

I said, “What?! … How are they going to know where to pick us up then?” It’s not like the road followed the river; it actually only intersected the river in a few spots.

At the time I thought, “Oh well. It will work out.”

We had great fun for a while, linking inner tubes together to form a flotilla, splashing each other and, of course, overturning the odd inner tube, dumping the owner into the river.

What we didn’t have was medical personnel, life jackets, or food. They never met up with us.

The day was a little cooler and too overcast to call it ideal weather, so about an hour and a half into the float people were getting hungry, cold and ready to get out of the water.

We kept floating, hoping to find the arranged meeting spot. It was nowhere in sight.

It started to sprinkle rain and the natives started asking more questions. Still we kept floating on.

About two hours into the float, we beached the tubes on the shore and climbed the steep banks of the river.

We found a home close by and the kind owners built a bonfire on their lawn for the kids to keep warm.

It was another hour later before the bus finally found us.

That night I had quite a few hostile junior highers in my camp. They let me know they were not happy with me.

My hour and a half outing turned into a little bit of a Gilligan’s Island tour!

I thought it would go down as the great camping disaster, but the next year some of the kids who’d been on that float talked about it as if it was the greatest adventure.

Years later I look back and laugh at that outing; we all came back alive to tell the tale.

Here’s the thing: When we go through difficult things in life don’t miss the adventure of having God with you. Recall how God managed to get you through the disaster so that you can look back on it as an adventure through which you grew.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: Anyone remember a lazy river ride like that? Leave your comments below.

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Varying Temperature

We know that temperature varies from place to place, but 20° Celsius isn’t even the same across the country.

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When you hear what the temperature is somewhere else, you immediately interpret it as what it would feel like where you are presently.

Of course, this leads to either jealousy or boasting. We either wish we had the temperature in that other city or we proudly admire the great temperature we have.

I was recently in Calgary for a conference and when I flew out of Toronto it was quite warm. When I got to Calgary, it was a little overcast and cooler.

The next day, however, was going to be around 20 C so I dressed appropriately for what 20 C would be back home in Ontario.

What I found, though, was I could have worn a light spring coat and been perfectly comfortable. It’s not that I was cold, but it wasn’t warm either.

The next day I wore shorts. It was supposed to be warmer and, though I was not chilly wearing shorts, I could have been slightly more comfortable in long pants. Choosing my attire based solely on the temperature, I should have been very comfortable.

Just before I was leaving Calgary, I stopped to grab lunch at a fast food restaurant. I placed my order, and while waiting, saw a young guy come in rather exhausted.

He said to me, “Man, is it ever hot out there!” I could tell he wasn’t kidding. The temperature had risen to about 24 C, but he seemed like he wasn’t going to make it through the day if he didn’t get some kind of relief.

He ordered water.

That’s it! It was like if he didn’t get water right then, he couldn’t go on. Fortunately, the place had lots of water and it seemed he had enough change in his pocket to pay for it.

I was ready if he had been short a few coins; I would have chipped in for the guy. He seemed a little desperate.

After I finished my meal in the comfort of the air conditioned restaurant, I prepared to head out into the blistering heat.

I thought maybe I should order a bottle of water to go in case I collapsed before I reached my rental car. … I simply took my chances.

Outside the restaurant the temperature was nice. I wasn’t sweating and I certainly didn’t feel the heat of the sun beating down on me.

I thought about the young guy inside and wondered how he would do in the same temperature in Toronto. He may have needed two bottles of water – one to carry in case it was a long distance between watering holes.

When I got into Toronto at 9:30 pm that night, it was about 19 C. It felt about the same temperature as it had in Calgary at midday with the sun shining down on us.

Someone pointed out to me that in the winter -10 C in Toronto feels a lot more severe than -10 C in Calgary. I guess it’s all relative.

Here’s the thing: In life we deal with the same circumstances in different ways. We have different thresholds for what we experience. Aren’t you glad that God is personal and deals with you, helps you, listens to you, responds to you, not according to the degree of the issue, but based on how it feels to you?

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What issues cause “severe temperatures” for you? Leave your comments below.

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Be Open To Something New

Yesterday my daughter got me to try something new, and that’s pretty amazing. What’s even more amazing is that it was food.

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When your kids are young, you are constantly coaxing, encouraging, coercing them to try new and different things. As they grow up, you do it so much that you never think there will be a time when the shoe is on the other foot.

I have to admit, I’ve had to take a few fashion tips from my son, and he’s gotten me to watch the odd movie he recommended.

But the other night was something else. It involved eating and I’m pretty set in my ways when it comes to that.

I think it goes back to the days when my mother tried to feed me squash for dinner. It seemed to be a staple in our house, like once a week at the very least.

I alway refused, but there was alway a tiny pile of it on my plate, with the understanding that there would not be dessert without the downing of the squash.

I tried to hide the flavour by mixing it into other foods like potato, but the taste always made me shiver as it went down.

As hard as my Mom tried, and as often as she persisted, to this day I don’t eat squash.

I don’t eat guacamole either. Well, maybe I shouldn’t be so hasty …

Lily and I were on our way to Toronto for me to catch a plane the next day. We were staying the night at our daughter Karlie’s home.

Normally when we get there, we go out to eat or order in. Karlie does cook but there never seems to be any food in the house when we arrive. I’m not positive, but maybe it’s just a ploy to get a free meal.

This trip, however, we left late so I thought we would just get fast food on the way. Not this time. Karlie apparently had food for us.

Still, we weren’t going to get there until nearly 8 pm, and since I was hungry when we left home, I thought about just passing on her offer this time.

But there was something about the offer that gave me the impression she would be disappointed if we didn’t eat there. So I said we’d be there for dinner, and hit the gas pedal.

Well, Karlie is into this clean eating thing. I don’t really know what that means … I’m pretty sure Lily washes the food we eat too.

When we got there, to my surprise, the bbq was on and the chicken was smelling pretty good. I’d been waiting so long to eat, I almost had to catch myself from salivating down my chin.

We were having chicken tacos which is not a stretch for me at all. I like hitting up Taco Bell for some grub sometimes. But this was a little different.

The tacos were basically chicken, red cabbage and that’s it. I thought maybe I needed some hot sauce or something, but there was none. The only thing to put on for flavour was guacamole.

But I don’t eat guac! However, since there was nothing else, and with a little coaxing from Lily, I tried it.

Crazy thing! – it was pretty good. … Look at that, me trying something new my daughter suggested.

Here’s the thing: Don’t get so stuck in your ways spiritually, that if God were to move you to try something new, you won’t do it. Always be open to the leading of the Holy Spirit in your life.

That’s life!

Paul

Question: What’s something new you’ve recently tried? Leave your comment below.

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I Took A Risk This Weekend

I took a bit of a risk this weekend that could have led to a big problem.

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For most people, they wouldn’t think anything of this, but for me, I had “worst-case scenario” in the back of my mind.

All I did was cross the border on Friday afternoon of the long weekend.

My wife, Lily, and I were heading to a cousins’ retreat at a cottage on Lake Ontario – that would be on Lake Ontario in New York State.

One of Lily’s cousins had rented a huge home on the lake and nineteen of us found our way to this place for a couple of days.

For us it was about a three hour trip, which is not that bad … it can sometimes take us three hours to get to Toronto.

But the added element of surprise was that we had to cross the border and I had to be back Sunday morning to preach in church at 10:30.

I had a choice: come back late Saturday night and get very little sleep, or risk a border crossing early Sunday morning and arrive at church by 9:00.

I had visions of having our car searched, pulling everything out and being delayed long enough to create a mini-panic at church.

I even told one of my elders that I was scheduled for praying mid-service and preaching, so if I didn’t make it, well … he was on!

On the way down we didn’t have any trouble at the border. In fact, I’ve never had any trouble getting across the border.

There was one time that I was driving a van with about six people in it, two of whom were born in Asia and Africa. I simply said we were going to a conference in Chicago, and the border guard said, “Have a good time.”

My internationally born friends couldn’t believe it. They had never crossed the border that easily before and said, “Paul, you’re definitely driving when we cross back over!”

The only time that I had a bit of a hassle was going to a conference in Ohio. The border guard asked me what was in my trunk.

I replied that there was a suitcase and my golf clubs. He told me to open the trunk. After looking, he came back to the window, asked me what my golf handicap was, and proceeded to give me some golf instructions!

Although these have been my border crossing highlights, you never know when they’ll just decide to rip your car apart.

I was feeling like the risk was worth the extra sleep so we decided to get up at 5:30 Sunday morning and make our way home.

The drive was pretty quiet; there wasn’t much traffic on the roads, and I was going over my sermon … Lily was driving.

The border crossing was no big deal; we were through in a matter of a minute and a half.

I think the key is don’t say much, and keep your words to a minimum (which might be hard for some people) so as not to give the border guard ideas to question you on.

Arrival time: 9:08 am.

Here’s the thing: It’s no big deal to take a calculated risk on something that might cost you some time. It’s another thing to take a calculated risk that might cost you your life. It’s an even greater deal to take a calculated risk on your eternity. Make sure you are right with God.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How secure are you in your relationship with Christ? Leave your comments below.