Author: Paul Silcock

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Our New Project

We just started a new home project at our house. You wouldn’t really notice much if you came over. There’s no design consultants or construction workers around.

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There’s not even any building materials laying around that might tip you off.

The only hint that we’ve begun a new project is our bedroom closet has no doors as of two days ago.

I took a bit of a risk taking the doors off the closet; there is a chance our clothes will be exposed to the room for months. But it was a calculated risk that I was willing to make.

Several weeks ago, Lily and I got the idea while roaming through an Ikea store. We saw some closet organizers that looked amazing. That got me going on a bit of a long-standing tirade about closets and bifold doors.

First of all, it really bugs me that builders construct the opening of a closet about two feet narrower than the actual closet width. That means you have to blindly reach into the corners to get at the clothes that are out of sight, beyond the opening.

To make matters worse, builders then put bi-fold doors on those closets, narrowing the opening again by another foot. Now you’re about two feet way from the farthest piece in your closet.

Frankly, I can’t remember what is back there because I haven’t seen it in about 10 years! There may be pants or a shirt from the eighties for all I know. I can barely reach that far past the closet doors to grab at it.

My beef is if your closet is 100 inches wide, why not make the opening the same width?

So now we’re going to do something about this. We are going to make our closet opening wider and we’re going to put sliding doors on the closet instead of those blasted bi-folds.

We checked out a local hardware store that can order some custom-made sliding doors that Lily likes. We know what doors we like … we just haven’t ordered them yet.

Since even a great idea won’t happen unless you do something, I decided that this project will become something of a dream – or nightmare – unless we take some action. So I took the doors off the closet.

Our bedroom looks like it is in an unfinished state and that’s exactly the look I’m going for right now. It’s one little step to spur us on to the next little step. And all those little moves we make will get us to complete this project.

The key to doing anything is to start. It doesn’t have to be a big start, but – talk all you want, plan till you’re old – it’s not going to materialize unless you make a move.

Here’s the thing: If you’re a seeker with questions about God, you’ll always be a seeker unless you take a step towards getting answers to your questions. If you’re a believer and are unsatisfied with your walk with Christ right now, you will remain frustrated until you make a move to walk closer to God. If you’re serving and don’t feel you’re making a difference, you’ll continue to be discouraged without trying a new ministry opportunity. It only takes one small action to get you moving in a direction that can lead to completion.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you been frustrated with that needs to become a project? Leave your comment below.

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How To Secure Perks In Life

When we sign up for things, we often take note of the perks that go along with them. It might be the key to the staff room, or a special parking spot – maybe even one with your name on it.

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Other perks might be a membership to an exclusive club, or an expense account, or a company car.  Perks are nice; they are those little somethings that make you feel special, important or valued.

But when you sign up for being a dad, you don’t think of the perks you get with that. In fact, when you start out, you don’t even think there are any perks.

There are the 2 am marathons of walking around the family room trying to soothe your little one back to sleep. There are the diapers to be changed, feedings, and the constant questions that never end.

We worry about them, spend money on them, give advice to them, give up our free time for them … do more worrying about them, coax them to spend time with us, more money, more worry, more money.

By the time your kids are in their mid-twenties, there’s been a lot of money and worry that’s gone into them. Perks? They’re not high on the list.

But the other day I got a perk. My kids, Karlie and Mike, took me to a Blue Jays game! It was their birthday present to me. They bought the tickets, and bought me a T-shirt so I would match them in their Blue Jay attire.

This was a far cry from the hockey mini stick Mike made for me years ago (autographed by him). And it’s more than the little cardboard box with stickers Karlie made forever ago for me to put my receipts in. (I still have both of those presents, by the way.)

This wasn’t even something Lily bought for me and they just put their names on it. No, this was something they thought up, something they knew I would like, and something they made arrangements for on their own.

This was a genuine perk. We took in a meal at “Real Sports” just outside the Air Canada Centre, and I got to hang out with my two kids who live in two different cities now.

There was excitement: Mike and I caught up to and beat our Go Train to get on it two stops later, with mere seconds to spare. Karlie had to tell a guy to go away on the subway after he wouldn’t leave her side.

Oh, and there was another perk that day: The Jays walk off win in the 10th inning on an exciting play at the plate!

I never thought of perks when I became a dad. But now it seems like there are some perks, and I have a good feeling there will be more to come.

Here’s the thing: When you sign up with Christ for forgiveness and a relationship with Him, you don’t think of perks along the way. But when you start to take the focus off yourself, your problems and frustrations, and instead concentrate on loving Christ and seeking His will each day, what you find is, He helps you with things you’re not prepared for or equipped to handle. And those are perks you can look forward to every day.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What’s the last perk you received from your kids?  You can leave your comment below.

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How To Ensure Your Direction Is Right

Usually, I feel that it’s other drivers who prevent me from getting to my destination. But yesterday it seemed there was a whole conspiracy at work that had nothing to do with other drivers.

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It was more like a government conspiracy, I’m sure. It could have been something like Orwell’s “Big Brother” is watching, or a group that my dad would always rage about, “the Bilderbergs”.

Now I don’t want to begin another fearmongering rumour, but there was definitely something going on that was a little like the Twilight Zone show . . .

I was coming home from my annual planning week up at my cottage. The trip had been pretty painless coming into Toronto, when suddenly the traffic started to get heavy and then slowed down to a crawl.

I thought I was in rush hour traffic, but it was Friday night at about 9 pm – it should have been clear sailing!

As I inched my way to a connector highway (which, by the way, would take me the rest of the way home), without warning – no sign, no detour route, nothing – it was closed.

I had to go west, in the opposite direction of my home. I had planned on a 2 1/2 hour drive home from there, but that wasn’t going to happen now.

What made it worse was that there was a road worker who looked like he’d just finished putting the pylons out to block my way.

That wasn’t going to stop me. The next exit was a familiar one and I knew I could get off and back on heading east to go home. I took it and thought, “This is not going to cost me much time at all.”

As I crossed over the highway to get going east, I noticed a road crew guy putting out pylons on that ramp as well. I couldn’t believe it! How did they think people were to get home?

I needed to go east, but instead I was forced to go west, and now I was going south! I got on an eastbound street as soon as I could and then came to a route that would take me back up to my homeward-bound highway.

But as I made my way towards the ramp, it was closed too and I was forced to continue north, past the highway I wanted, and basically coerced into taking a toll highway east towards home.

(If you’re feeling a little hypnotized right about now, you can imagine how I felt!) It was right about then that it dawned on me: They are trying to funnel us all onto the pay-as-you-drive highway to get a cash infusion towards their conspiracy plans!

I never saw that road crew guy again, but I’m sure he’s taken some blood oath of some kind to belong to some dark, unknown, secret society of asphalt workers somewhere.

Here’s the thing: We can be led by circumstance, friends, cravings and opportunities to go in directions we never intended to go in. It’s not like we started out with the thought of going there or doing that, it’s just one turn led to another and, “Oh look where I am now!” The only way we can protect ourselves from that happening is to monitor our direction with God. Let God navigate your direction, and, if you get lost or off course, check in with Him to get you back on the right road.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What has been your worst road closure experience? You can leave your comment below.

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Why Anniversaries Are Special

Special days and anniversaries often come and go without giving them too much thought. There are, however, certain special days that are more special than others.

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Though every birthday is special, when someone turns 16 that’s extra special because they can obtain a driver’s license. At eighteen you are considered an adult and get to vote, so that’s special. Depending where you live, 19 or 21 is a special day for dubious reasons.

It seems that span of about five years is littered with extra special days. But after that, the special days like birthdays and anniversaries seem to come in 10 year periods like 30, 40, 50, et cetera.

Some people look forward to these special days; others pretend they didn’t happen.

It’s more likely that someone will want to hide the fact they have reached an age milestone, while being quite proud of reaching an anniversary achievement.

Yesterday I celebrated my 29th wedding anniversary with my wife, Lily. Twenty-nine is not one of those special anniversary dates – 30 is a big deal but 29 is just a run-of-the-mill anniversary.

It doesn’t even have a name or gift associated with it. I figured the gift for the 29th anniversary would be brunch at “Milestones” the restaurant.

It had to be something like that because I have to save up for next year’s anniversary which is “pearl”.

I had a great aunt named “Pearl” and it would’ve been nice to bring her over for tea or something on our 30th … she would be about 115 now. Auntie Pearl passed away 20 years ago so I can’t use her as my “pearl” gift to Lily on our 30th.

It’s a good thing I have a year to figure it out.

But getting back to this no-name 29th anniversary of ours. Though on the surface it doesn’t seem hardly worth getting a card to even acknowledge the day, it is in fact a very special anniversary to me.

On this day I have now been married for exactly half my life – the most recent half, I might add.

That’s significant. Think of all the years you grew up in your home with your family, and then all the years you hung out with friends and went to school, and the years you figured out what career you were going to go for.

Think of all the fun and hardships of the years you spend before you were married, the experiences and adventures, all the people, all the laughter, tears, worry.

Well, all of that, I’ve done all over again with Lily. It’s like I’ve lived life twice, once single and now a second time married.

So you see, my 29th anniversary is a special day. It should be called something, even at the very least, the “corrugated paper” anniversary.

Hey, that’s a great idea! I could get Lily a box, and I could fill the box with hope … hope that next year she’ll get a pearl on her anniversary.

Here’s the thing: Have you ever compared your life before Christ to the time you’ve spent with Him? The experiences, the adventures, the joys, laughter, tears and worry? Have you ever considered just how significant your life with Christ has been so far compared to your life before you knew Him? Take some time to reflect on that, and praise God for your relationship with Him.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What has been a particularly special date or memory you have had with Christ?  Leave your comment below.

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Why Having the Right Equipment is Necessary

Having the right equipment for a task makes it much more enjoyable. Having the wrong equipment or substandard equipment makes that task a hardship, even dangerous.

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This past week, seventy plus cyclists arrived at our church to stay overnight. They didn’t just drop by; it had been arranged for them to stop here.

I’ve been a mountain biker for some time, and I’ve been to events where I’ve seen all kinds of shapes and sizes of bikers. Some of them look like they ride their bikes all the time, while others, well, if you didn’t see them with their bikes, you wouldn’t think that they ever rode one!

This group was no different; there was a wide variety of people on this ride. But what did surprise me was the different shapes and sizes of the bicycles they were riding.

Some of the bikes were clearly road bikes made to ride long distances. But there were many bikes that I wouldn’t take farther than to the nearest convenience store and back!

A few bikes looked like they needed to be traded in for real ones, let alone be allowed to leave a city on a tour. I was impressed and humbled that some of those riding and raising money for the “Love in Motion” tour were doing it with great hardship.

The morning they left our church, one rider mentioned that her bike wouldn’t shift properly. I decided I would try it out, so I rode it around the parking lot … I wouldn’t take that bike on a two hour ride – certainly not a week-long trip or across the country!

Her shifters needed to be tuned, her handlebar grips needed replacing, and a brake pad was rubbing so badly that it was like she was riding with her front brake on all the time.

Fortunately, we were somewhat able to help her out before she left for the next leg of the journey.

These riders seemed to be oblivious to the fact that their equipment was less than ideal for the type of cycling they were doing. They just saddled up in the morning and got going again.

But I had watched them come in the day before, after a 167 kilometre ride from Cobourg to Kingston. The toll on the body, and even the mental state, was far greater on those with substandard bikes.

They were doing it. They were making it (which I thought was amazing), but it was a real hardship for them. I wondered what a difference a proper bike would make for some of these riders.

Here’s the thing:  We can get through life on our own. We can get by with just a minimum of faith in God. But at what cost will we make it through? … We will miss the fullness of what God has for us in this life. We will deal with hardships on our own that will create wounds and bitterness that will burden us the rest of the way. We will carry regrets and guilt with us that will rub against us and all those we come in contact with. Oh, we can get through life on our own; we can say we did it. But at what cost to us? Better that we submit our lives to God, walk in His ways and in His will, and be properly equipped to face the elements along the journey.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you attempted with wrong or inadequate equipment? How did it turn out?  You can leave your comment below.

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How To Live Simultaneously In Awe & Frustration

Can something be good and bad at the same time? Can you be completely frustrated and awed in the same breath? Is it okay to clench your fists in rage while gazing at something beautiful?

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Not only do I think the answer to these questions is “yes”, I know it’s “yes” because I just experienced it on the weekend.

As crazy as it sounds, it’s true.

It’s almost like that trick you do with a toddler or a baby: you distract them with something else and they stop crying. You know the child is crying because he scraped his knee, but you say “Oh look, a balloon!” The child’s attention is drawn to the balloon, he stops crying, and life is good again.

It works like a charm every time.

It doesn’t work as well with adults. You can distract them with something else, but they are not going to forget the pain (whatever type) they are in.

I played golf on a beautiful course this weekend. Six holes have been fashioned after famous golf holes from around the world. The fairways were like hitting off carpet; the greens were like bowling allies.

They even had a set of bunkers called church pews – I was tempted to try them out but I stayed away.

The day was beautiful, sunny, hot, with no wind. The course was lush, green, with dramatic undulating terrain. You wanted to take a picture at every hole. In fact, some guys in my group did take pictures as we went around.

But to contrast the startling grandeur of the course was the brutal ineptitude of my play. On the practice tees I was straight and long. On the course, I missed all but one of the fairways with carpet-like feel to them.

I was looking at a picture of magnificence at every turn, but in what I was doing there was no beauty at all.

So I would line up my putt on grass that seemed like it had been cut with my razor that very morning, but when I hit the ball I had no control of when it would stop rolling. And on every hole it kept rolling and rolling and rolling.

I was amazed by the course but I wanted to hit it at the same time. In fact, there were two occasions when I swung my club really hard at the ground after another missed green, while staring at a scene that looked so inviting I could have lived there.

During my round, I couldn’t decide which emotion should win: awe at the stunning splendour of the course or my total frustration with my game.

It seemed that for the longest time the two emotions were entwined together, stuck like a vine to a trellis.

In the end, I would not have traded my experience. It was a great day, despite the play.

Here’s the thing: We can be utterly amazed at what God has done in someone’s life or ministry.  We can marvel at results that occur that clearly point to God’s hand of mercy or power. But at the same time, we can be completely frustrated by the lack of results or answers in our own life or ministry. We live here in this contrast, and to truly embrace Christ is to give glory to God while at the same time pleading out our burdens before Him.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What has amazed you while frustrated you at the same time? Leave your comment below.

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Why Some Experiences Should Linger

There are experiences that we have that linger and others that don’t.

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At our cottage we have a firepit. It doesn’t get used much. In fact, for half of the summer we had our picnic table sitting over it. We don’t even keep a fresh supply of firewood. The wood we have in our bin is a few years old, although I understand that only makes it better for burning.

We only have fires when our kids are around or we have guests with kids. It seems like kids of all ages like to sit by a fire.

I don’t mind sitting by the fire, and at the time I rather enjoy it – unless I have a steady stream of smoke funnelling towards my eyes. I’m not the greatest fire maker, but I’m pretty good at making smoke!

Recently we had a double whammy. Our daughter was up with a friend AND we had friends with kids over who had just moved to the area. There was no getting out of a fire that night.

I was happy someone else made the fire. I just sat down and enjoyed it.

Well, I sort of enjoyed it. When I sat down the smoke was directed right at me, so I had to cover my eyes for the first few minutes. After that everyone else looked kind of blurry because my eyes were still watering.

That’s one reason I don’t like campfires. But the biggest reason I don’t like fires is because afterwards you smell like smoke. You can’t get away from the smell either.

You can change your clothes but your hair still smells smokey. And if you’re a hairy guy or gal, the smoke even hangs on those hairs on your arms and legs (not to mention your back)!

Even washing your hair doesn’t really do the trick. Somehow the fire smell clings on even through the strong scent of Irish Spring soap and Dove shampoo. You come out of the shower feeling clean except for that hint of fire when you turn your head quickly to the right (down wind).

However, there are things about campfires I do like. They’re a real good place to talk. Somehow the fire has this hypnotic effect on people where they stare into the fire and words tumble over their lips … Like that pre-op drug they give you so you can’t keep your mouth shut!

This happens in a greater degree for some than others. The more the coals glow and fire burns, the more of a calming, reflective effect the fire has on people.

In fact, sometimes nothing is said but you’re still communicating. It’s like suddenly you all have mental telepathy; you’ve crossed over to a higher state of consciousness … not really.

Hey, maybe someone should try to bottle this campfire effect! You know, just like they make potato chips with a Canadian maple bacon flavour (how does President’s Choice do that?).

Still, as great as it is, there’s that smell of smoke that lingers that you just can’t shake.

Here’s the thing:  Our time of prayer with God should be like a campfire. When you approach God there should be an easy flow of thoughts back and forth. And when you’re done, there should be a sense of that time lingering … Only you don’t want to wash that sense away; you want to bask in it.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How long does the smoke linger on you? You can leave your comment below.

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How To Listen To A Presentation 

As a giver of presentations, I’m not often on the listening end of them. So the other day in church, when I was listening to someone give the message, I found my mind going in lots of directions.

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It’s not easy to listen; it’s difficult to stay engaged with the speaker.

I noticed first off that the message was going to be about light. I knew that because, before the pastor got up to preach, they showed a video about Christ being the light of the world.

The video was good and I wanted to know more about this light show that he was going to talk about. I started looking at the lights on stage and thought it was cool how they could change colour.

But I also noticed how dark the auditorium was and thought they could throw a little more light on the platform.

At the beginning of the message, the pastor read the passage and I noticed it was particularly long and filled with a host of possible ideas. I began to wonder how he was going to handle this length of text.

I couldn’t help myself thinking that I would make this passage into a series and preach several sermons from it.

The preacher was doing pretty good – people laughed when he said something funny – but I started getting concerned that he wasn’t talking about light as much as other things.

I wanted him to come back to the light in two ways: I wanted him to step into the light – like a spotlight or something – so I could see him better, and I wanted him to tell me more about the impact of Christ being the light of the world.

I also started to wonder if this message was something that he got on the internet and was re-preaching or if it was something he wrote himself and really believed. I spent a little time trying to tell if he really owned his message.

My seat was at such an angle that I could see people sitting across the auditorium. I looked at them to see if they were listening, day dreaming, bored, or engaged in what he was saying.

I saw a few nods of the head and could tell they agreed with what was being said. But there was this one guy whose nodding looked more like a guy on a hot bus is trying to stay awake after a long day at work!

And while I was thinking about all that, I realized something similar happens to all the people who are listening to me preach every week. . . . It’s a tough job to give a presentation!

Here’s the thing: It’s easy to settle into a presentation and start thinking about all kinds of things related and unrelated to what is being said. It’s easy because you don’t have to apply it to yourself. You don’t have to think deeply and personally about the material. But the idea of a presentation is that it is for your personal benefit. It’s for you, your ministry, your work, or your personal development.

So, though all kinds of thoughts come to distract you, to keep you from applying the message, your job as a presentation listener is to focus on how it has a bearing on you. Keep three questions running through your mind while you listen: 1. What is true here for me? 2. God, what are you saying to me? 3. What am I now going to do with this?

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you stay focussed in a presentation? You can leave your comment below.

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When Silence Isn’t Golden

They say that silence is golden – at least I remember hearing that phrase in a song way back in the sixties. I’m not sure it’s true in every situation.

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In our world we are surrounded by so many sounds that having some peace and quiet can be a real treat for a change.

But there is always noise … It’s early morning as I’m writing this and though it’s peaceful and quiet, there is still the hum of the refrigerator that just came on a few seconds ago, and the tick tock of the battery-operated clock hanging on the wall just a few short feet from me.

Even if I went outside there are birds chirping, leaves rustling, or even the noise of cars travelling down a distant roadway.

There is always some noise, a voice of some kind that breaks our silence. And maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe complete silence would drive us crazy.

We’d be left alone with our thoughts.

I know that when I get in my car, the first thing I do after starting the car is hit the button on the radio to get some music. Some people just like to have noise, music, talking, whatever alway in the background – radio always on; TV on in another room.

Some people just talk . . . and they never stop. That’s good at times for a person like me who doesn’t have too much to say. Even if the person talking isn’t saying anything interesting, at least it serves as white noise to drown out the silence.

But there are times when I like it quiet. There are times I need it quiet. My mind works better when it’s not distracted by noise around me. I can think clearly, focus more singularly. Its golden.

Then other times silence isn’t golden. Like when you are talking and the person you are talking to isn’t responding.

I’ve had that happen to me on the phone. I was telling a friend important information and during my explanation we were cut off. I’m not sure how long I talked for before I realized there was no one even listening to me, but it was a weird feeling. I had to call back and start over.

There are times when I’ve talked to people who can’t talk back. People in the hospital, at times, are unable to respond or even indicate that they hear what you are saying to them. It’s hard to keep talking in those situations.

There are people who, when they get mad, get silent. And you can talk to them until you’re blue, but they don’t say anything in return. That’s got to be tough. It’s certainly not golden.

In these situations, silence doesn’t help or even solve anything. You really have to talk through them. What’s really golden is knowing when to talk and when to be silent.

Here’s the thing: There are times when we talk to God and it’s as though He isn’t listening.  There just seems to be no response from Him at all. You can plead, beg, even cry out in frustration but still nothing from God in return. At those silent times the temptation is to stop talking to God, to bury your thoughts, worries, frustrations, discouragements and leave God alone in silence.

But that doesn’t solve anything. We need to keep talking to God, keep bringing our thoughts, our needs or hopes to Him, for out of that silence, at some point, God will answer. And that will be golden.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How long have you gone in silence with God? Leave your comment below.

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How To Receive Unexpected Gifts

Sometimes you get something unexpected, something you had really wanted but didn’t think you’d get. That happened to me this week.

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One of the signs you’re a pro at the beach is how you get all your paraphernalia to it. We have about a seven minute walk to the lake so we take everything we’re going to need with us in one trip.

In the old days (that would be the days when our children were little), we had lots of stuff to carry.

There are people who park their cars at the beach, and make trips with their coolers, chairs, blankets, umbrellas etc. Then there are those who walk and take very little, like a blanket and a book.

We like to take enough to make us comfortable for a few hours. We’ve tried a few different options over the years, and finally settled on a wagon.

We loaded everything in a big wagon and hauled it down and back each time. It worked really well, except for the person who had to pull it back from the beach (up hill all the way).

However, in the last few years we haven’t really needed the wagon but we have more beach stuff than is easily carried. We needed something in-between.

What we’ve seen work well are those baby trailers you hook up to your bike. If you’re not using them for child transportation, they work great as a wee moving van.

The problem with them is they cost loads of money – enough that it is hard to justify getting one just to take your stuff down to the beach and back.

My brother’s been looking for a used one for a couple of years now. Once he thought he found one at a garage sale but it looked broken so he didn’t bother to get it.

Just minutes later someone else bought it and it actually worked fine. John’s been kicking himself ever since for not investigating it more thoroughly.

But the other week he came across one, and the owner said he could have it – for free! It was just missing one piece, which John ordered online … it was good to go in a week.

And then the other day, John came over to my place with his trailer hooked up to his bike with all his beach stuff in it. It was sitting in our driveway when the guy across the street came over.

He asked if I also wanted a trailer because his son had one they were just going to give away. I jumped at the chance!

It was in great shape, and hooked up to my bike easily. I was now a beach pro! When you ride down to the beach with your little trailer filled with your chairs, your beach umbrella, your drinks, snacks and games, people know you’re experienced . . . that you’ve been beached.

Someday, maybe – many years from now – we may even let a grandchild or two get pulled to the beach in it.

Here’s the thing:  God sometimes surprises us with good gifts we never expected to get. When He does, be quick to recognize the source of the gift, and be thankful.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you received unexpectedly that was from the hand of God? I’d like to hear from you; you can leave a comment below.