family

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End Well

Sometimes my wife just wears me down.  For the last sixteen years we’ve lived in Ontario, 2 ½ hours from Toronto, and Lily has said she would like to visit Casa Loma (http://www.casaloma.org).  I wouldn’t say she has insisted on going, but she’s suggested it with a really big smile, batting her eyelids and stretching out the word “please” for a long time.

It’s not like she’s never been, she just wanted to go again – together. I’ve put her off many times, but recently we were in Toronto for our anniversary and were looking for one more thing to do before we came home.

She had me at a weak moment.  I had very little options, no alternate plan, and if I wanted to keep those romantic anniversary feelings from crashing on the rocks, I needed to cave on this one.  In the end, it wasn’t a bad choice of activities.

If you know nothing of Casa Loma, it is this enormous home built at the turn of the 20th century.  It’s not a castle but it looks like it could be a castle. And if you owned it and lived in it you would feel you lived in a castle.  Now, however, it’s a great money-making tourist attraction for the city of Toronto.  The day we went they made thousands of dollars; there were people everywhere.

It has 98 rooms, secret passages, gardens, and an underground tunnel to the stables.  Still, I figured, if we went through the rooms quickly (the way I like to go through show homes when Lil gets the opportunity to drag me through them), we could be done in an hour.

But Lil wanted to get the self-guided tour with a phone-like device giving a commentary on all the features of the house – yes, all 98 rooms.  As soon as they slapped one of those devices in my hand, I knew we were going to be putting an offer in to buy the place.  This was not going to be a short in and out viewing!

What I found interesting from all the commentaries was the background on the owner, Henry Pellatt.  The commentary painted him as a generous, wealthy, kind man.  At one time he controlled one quarter of the wealth in Canada.  The home he built was supposed to cost about $500,000 but ended up costing $3.5 million, a hefty price for 1911.

Then one thing after another happened to Henry:  he lost a lot of money when the government took his electric power company from him without compensation; the stock market crashed; and he made some deals that didn’t work out.  In the end, he was bankrupt, and the city took ownership of Casa Loma due to back taxes owed to the tune of $27 million in 1933.

Henry ended up penniless.  When he died, at the age of 80, he was living in a room in the home of his former chauffeur.  His son hadn’t even taken him in.  … A magnificent house, a sad story.

Here’s the thing:  If for almost or all of your life things go your way, but you die without a saving relationship with Christ, your life ends up to be just a very sad story.  Jesus came to turn any life – good or bad – into a great story … and that’s worth checking out while you’re still living out your story.

Until Next Time!

Pastor Paul

Question: What kind of story will your life tell when its done? Leave your comment below

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He’s Got Your Back

When I was a kid, having a brother was great.  We played together; we always had a buddy to do something with.  On the other hand, we also fought a lot.  It was quite predicable:  one little thing like an innocent bump would lead to a push and then a harder push and a hit.  Then the fight was on.

My brother and I had some pretty classic fights growing up.  Some of our fights could have been on WWE (Worldwide Wrestling Entertainment).  People would have paid good money to see them!  On WWE they use chairs and tables on each other; we used hockey sticks and the threat of knives (just the dull ones you use at dinner).  When we got older, our poor mother would throw her arms up, and walk away saying, “You guys are going to kill each other!”

We didn’t, and we’re still great friends today.  The funny thing was, all those fights we had never lasted.  We would be playing one minute, then fighting, and then a couple minutes later playing together again.

One of the greatest things about having a brother was having someone to stick up for you.  Maybe you never had this feeling before, but having someone come to your side, and stand with you when there’s trouble is an amazing feeling.

One time when we were 10 and 12, we were with a bunch of friends when some other guys came up to us.  One of them was a couple years older, had a reputation as a fighter, and for some reason started picking on me.  My friends didn’t want anything to do with it and kind of backed away.  I’m sure they were thinking he would beat me to a pulp.

But my brother was there.  Though it’s always nice to be able to say, “I’m going to get my big brother and he’s twice your size”, my brother was two years younger and the same scrawny size as me.  It didn’t seem like a great advantage.

Still he was there and he didn’t back away like my friends did.  He got in there and basically the two of us laid a beating on that guy (I think it was all our practice that helped).  We were pretty pumped about what we did and how we felt about each other and we never had any trouble with that kid again.

Here’s the thing:  The other day I was reading Isaiah 41:10, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

As I read that verse the feeling that I got was that same feeling of having a brother come to your side in a fight. The trouble is not necessarily dismissed, but I have someone fighting with me, someone helping me in my trouble.

Reading that verse, I got this amazing feeling of how much God cares for me, to battle with me.  And because He’s God, we’re going to win in the end, and walk off arm in arm victorious together.

God isn’t off somewhere helping remotely; He’s right there with you, and He’s got your back.  God is watching out for you.

Until Next Time!

Pastor Paul

Question:  When you are in a difficult place, how do you feel about God?

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Get Out of My Way!

I’ve been known to get a little frustrated in traffic. City traffic infuriates me, but highway traffic, it infuriates AND bewilders me. I don’t understand how you can be driving at, let’s just say a little over the speed limit, on a 4 – 6 lane highway and have traffic come to a complete stop.

I understand a lane closure or an accident would cause it, but when there is nothing to block the lanes from moving freely, how can I go from traveling at 120 km/hr down to 0, and then have to putt along between 0 and 40 for what seems like forever?  There are no traffic lights on the highway, people! (If someone can explain the science of this, I’d appreciate it).

Recently, I was traveling through Toronto up to Sauble Beach.  I planned to stop at the Apple Store at Yorkdale Mall right beside the highway … but I left a little late.  I knew I would have to make good time on the road to get there before the store closed.  When I started, traffic was moving well.

By the time I was half way there, I was optimistic that I would make it to Yorkdale in time.  The traffic had been light and, let’s just say, I was making pretty good time.  Then my world caved in.  Being late Sunday afternoon, people were returning from their cottages and every route was funneling a ton of cars onto my highway.  Sure enough, seconds after passing a major on ramp, I saw brake lights and my car literally came to a stop.

I drive a standard so the constant speed up and slow down is rather annoying, especially if you have to do it for a good 40 minutes.  I kept looking at the clock and my hope of making the Apple Store was fading.  But just when I had almost written off the possibility of getting there on time, the traffic picked up.  Why?!  I have no idea, but I was ecstatic and it bugged me all at the same time (you see, I really need that explanation).

I drove as fast as I legally could – well, maybe a little faster – and kept looking between the road signs and the clock to judge my timing.  I knew it was going to be close.  But there was another hitch:  the off ramp from the highway to Yorkdale was closed.  I would have to exit off another street and negotiate my way back to the mall.  I looked again at the clock . . . I only had 10 minutes.

It was then that I had to give up and realize I couldn’t do it.  I couldn’t get off at another exit, make my way along the streets, park the car and get inside the mall to the Apple store in just 10 minutes.  I kept driving.  I looked at Yorkdale from the highway as I passed by.  I was so close, if it wasn’t for that blasted traffic.

Here’s the thing:  When life throws us a roadblock, we look to blame someone and often times we look to God.  Why did God do this to me?  Blaming doesn’t help; it makes us even more angry, and it doesn’t move us to a solution.  What we should do is pour out our sorrow to God, let Him know how we feel, and seek His help.  Ask Him for strength to go through the roadblock, and/or a solution to get past it.

Until Next Time!

Pastor Paul

Question: Who do you blame most when you hit a roadblock in life?

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I’m Messy; Deal With It!

I’ll admit it:  I’m kind of a messy guy.  It’s never hard to tell where I’ve sat at a table for a meal.  There are usually more than a few crumbs that escape my plate and leave clear evidence.  However, I’ve never seen crumbs form the word “Paul” so one could argue that someone else was sitting in that spot.

I’ve been messy as long as I can remember, and it may even be a genetic trait.  My dad was a notorious spiller.  I could share many-a-story of his spectacular spills – stories our family still gets a good chuckle over years later.  All I have to do is mention the word “marinara” and a smile appears on the face of everyone in my family.

My son has a good chance of proving the messy gene theory because, when we eat at the same table, sometimes it’s hard to determine who sat in what spot.  But my wife, Lily, says I’m messy because I don’t eat properly.

Somehow, in all my years, I never learned to eat right.  If you ask me, this is a major slam against my mother who, after all, was the one who taught me how to eat in the first place.  But the curious thing is, it also incriminates Lily because she’s the one who taught our son to eat … and apparently he hasn’t learned to eat properly either!

Lily says the problem is simply that I don’t have my plate close enough to me, and therefore, things spill.  I am either sitting too far away from the table or my plate needs to be closer to the edge.  In fact, the other day she actually pushed my plate closer to me … and I promptly spilled something on the far side of my plate.  If she hadn’t have moved my plate I wouldn’t have spilled.  I get the blame but I’m telling you, it was her fault.  I wanted to pick up the food I spilled and place it on her placemat, but I restrained myself.

And, by the way, placemats are overrated, especially for messy guys like me.  A hard, smooth surface is much easier to clean and to quickly hide the evidence (one quick swipe, if you know what I mean) than fabric where the crumbs get stuck and remain for the CSI team (Lily) to investigate.

It really doesn’t matter if I’m spilling something on my shirt (and becoming more like my dad every day), or if I leave a ring of crumbs around my plate when I eat, that‘s who I am.  I’m messy.  If I’m going to be eating at your house, you have to be prepared for that, or reconsider having me over.

Here’s the thing:  We like to change people, but the reality is we can’t.  We can get quite frustrated with people who don’t want to place their faith in God.  We can try to change them, but it won’t work.  We can just walk away and not have anything to do with them, or, we can just accept them as they are and allow God to work in them.  Who knows?  God might even use you to push the plate a little closer to them.

Until Next Time!

Pastor Paul

Question: How hard is it for you to just accept people whom you want to see changed?

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I Hate Borrowing Stuff

Don’t you just hate it when you borrow something and then break it or damage it in some way?  That’s one reason I would rather buy something than borrow it.  I really hesitate asking anyone if I can use something that I could possibly damage because I am pretty good at breaking things.  In fact, when we were young, my mother once told my brother and me that we should go into the wrecking business when we grew up because we were so good at it!

Well, against my better judgment, I borrowed a neighbour’s sledge hammer to put landscape ties around a garden at our trailer.  Really what can you do to a sledge hammer?  It’s made to take a pounding; the word “sledge” makes you think of something that inflicts damage, not gets damaged. It’s strong, heavy, and has been called a persuader, punisher, the big guy.

I borrowed an 8-pound sledge – not the biggest you can find but there was no question that it would do the job.  We had twelve inch galvanized nails to go through two landscape ties … no problem.  However, I managed to break the handle.

I’d like to say that it was my brute strength that powered through the nails and put such force on the sledge hammer that the handle couldn’t compensate for the torque I put on it and, therefore, it broke (sounds good, doesn’t it?).

Well, it didn’t happen that way.  I had hammered in the first nail only to realize things weren’t aligned properly and I needed to take that nail out and start again.  Rather than use a pry-bar, I grabbed the nearest thing and wedged the sledge between the two pieces of wood.  Using my brute strength, I yanked on the handle with such force that the sledge hammer couldn’t compensate for the torque I put on it and it broke.  Ok, so basically I used the sledge hammer as a wedge instead of a hammer.

Now I had done two things I didn’t want to do:  I didn’t want to borrow the sledge hammer in the first place, and I certainly didn’t want to break it.  So, it was off to the hardware store to either purchase a handle or buy my neighbour a complete new sledge hammer.  When I saw the $40 price tag for an entirely new one, I decided to buy a handle for only $12.

I’m not going to write about changing the handle as I have yet to process that brutal experience, but here’s the thing:  Sometimes when we pray we try to get God to agree with what we want Him to do.  We try to put God in a place of having to respond to our request or need the way we want Him to.

Often times we get upset when God doesn’t respond the way we think He should.  We should get upset, however, because we are praying the wrong way.  It’s like we are breaking our prayer.  Prayer is meant to align us with God’s will, not get God to align with what we want.  When we use prayer in the proper way, it works really well.  When we don’t, and use it for our own purposes, we’ll find it breaks.

By the way, when I used the sledge to hammer the nails, they went in like butter.

Until Next Time!

Pastor Paul

Question: When you pray, how can you align yourself with God’s will rather than forcing your will on God?  Leave your comment below.

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Life is a Buffet

Recently Lily and I celebrated our anniversary by going to a dinner theatre. The play was secondary; I was thinking more about the buffet and what I would be eating than what I would be watching.

The food was okay.  At a buffet it’s the volume that really matters … and there was volume!  I noticed some people piled the food on their plates as if it was their last meal.  Others went back for one or two more rounds.  Being a little conscious of what I’m eating these days, I kept my plate portions to a respectable side, but did visit the buffet more than once.

I find it amazing that if I had just ordered a plate of food, I would have been satisfied.  But because I can go back for more, something inside me says, “you’re still hungry, get back up there and get another plate”.  Or possibly it’s my wallet that speaks to me saying, “you’re paying $X for this meal; make sure the theatre isn’t making any money off of you … make them pay!”  It’s a crazy attitude to have, but somehow it pops into my head at the thought of a buffet.

A second plate wouldn’t have been that bad, but there was a dessert area that had not escaped my notice the two times I had been in the buffet line.  In fact, by the time I was ready for dessert I had already pictured what my dessert plate(s) would be filled with. Did I mention I had two runs at that line as well?

I had to visit the desserts again.  It wasn’t that I really wanted to; it was more that after my first plate I didn’t save anything to nibble on during the performance.  That, and there were still some things that I had noticed that I wasn’t able to fit on my first plate.

When I got to the line for round two, it was long.  It seemed I wasn’t the only one with an idea of having a plate full of goodies to carry me through the production (as if I might get a little peckish if I didn’t!).  I noticed some people taking dinner sized plates to put their desserts on, and I thought, “that’s not right”, but when I got close to the desserts something overtook me and I grabbed a large plate too.  It didn’t look right with just a few things on it so I had to put enough on the plate to make it look, well … uh … full.

When I got back to our table, I told Lily that some of it was for her, but she wasn’t interested in much, so it was left to me to finish.  I didn’t do a bad job; I kept at it right through the play.  And when it was all over, I waddled out of the theatre, like everyone else.  Oh, and the play was not bad either; it was a musical.

Here’s the thing:  in life we can fill our time – our daily plate – so full that when we get to the main attraction (the main reason we’re really here) that becomes secondary. You see, God has put us here to glorify Him and enjoy Him, and often we are so busy filling ourselves up with all kinds of goodies, that the production we came to be part of becomes an after thought.  I need to put more time and effort into the main thing, more focus on what I am here for.  Maybe if I did, I wouldn’t feel liking I’m waddling around in this life.

Until Next Time!

Pastor Paul

Question:  What are you gorging yourself on that is taking way from your main purpose of glorifying God and enjoying Him?  Leave your comment below.

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Don’t Let the Sun Go Down

It is interesting to me that every night people gather at the lake to look out and watch the sun go down. It doesn’t matter what the weather is like, if it’s cloudy, or even stormy.  They still show up at the beach, and gather like droids.  I know, because I’ve done it.

People line the beach with their lawn chairs, cameras, and video recorders.  They sit in the sand or just stand and stare as this orangey red ball slowly sinks below the horizon.

They’re mesmerized by a sight that happens every day.

It’s the same thing, you know – the sun always goes down.  You can count on it; it never does anything different.  It doesn’t’ go back a bit or stop and leave everyone in suspense like it did in the Bible once.  No, it does the same thing every night: it goes down and drops below the horizon.  Yet people come every night to see it happen, almost as if it wouldn’t happen if they didn’t come.

People don’t just do this at Sauble Beach (though it is pretty phenomenal there).  People do it everywhere, by oceans, lakes, mountains, even on cruise ships.  People stop and just watch, sometimes in silence, gazing at the sight.

The thing that is different, the thing that keeps people coming back each night is the sky.  On a clear night with no clouds, the sky is colourful.  But when you add a little bit of cloud – wow! – the sun does an amazing job of painting the sky in incredible colours and shades.  It’s like there’s a new canvas every night.

I personally have probably over a hundred pictures of sunsets at Sauble Beach.  I’ll take several every time because the colours, and the painting created on the canvas of the sky, changes moment by moment.  Even though there is a new picture every night, for some reason I, and many others, feel the need to capture the one we’re looking at so we can view it again and again.

Some people don’t care about capturing it.  They just take it in, are fascinated by the sky and then satisfied that it will be different and just as spectacular the next night.  Some people dream as they stare at it, while others get all romantic and want to hold hands (Lily).  Some linger and others turn and walk away, occasionally looking over their shoulder towards the sky and horizon.

Here’s the thing:  Every day we have opportunities to gaze upon what God has created, and appreciate it, think about it, dwell on it and acknowledge where it came from.  But how often do we take a moment to go beyond the beauty that we see to give a nod to God for it, to respond to Him for the million dollar painting before our eyes?  After all, the painter is the one with all the talent; the painting is just his creation.  I want to be a little more responsive to God and His paintings from now on.

Until Next Time!

Pastor Paul

Question: What grabs your attention, causing you to acknowledge God’s creativity in the world?  Leave your comment below.

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Living in Transition

I was thinking the other day that I’m not really living my life; I’m waiting in transition.  It’s not that I don’t feel settled in my home, work, or my relationships.  No, they’re all good.  But I still feel like I’m in transition.  And then it dawned on me, it’s my kids’ fault!

I’ve always been great at blaming my kids for things that have gone missing or stopped working, like when I couldn’t find the remote control, or when the car broke down just after they drove it.  However, blaming my kids for me feeling like I’m in transition takes me to a new level.

It all started in my devotions.  I was praying for my kids when I started to think about what I was praying for.  Basically, it was that they would get through this time in their lives and get settled in careers and all that goes with that.

Both my kids are in their twenties and I’m discovering that waiting for your kids to emerge out of this preparation stage of life takes way too long.  I never felt this way when Karlie and Mike were little, or in elementary school; I didn’t even feel this way when they were in high school.  But now, let’s get on with life already!  They have me feeling like I’m in transition, waiting for them to move into something more permanent, more settled.

I know that one day I’ll look back on this time and think it wasn’t very long …  although if my son stays in school as long as I did, it will be like forever!

Somehow I have to get through this and, as I was thinking about it, it dawned on me that they don’t necessarily feel like they’re in transition. They are just living life as it comes day by day.  So what I need to do is enjoy this stage of their lives and not try to impatiently endure it.

I’ve always enjoyed the other stages of their lives – except maybe teaching them to drive a manual transmission (that poor Honda Civic).  I need to embrace this stage as well, even though to me it seems like a transition stage and life will start when they are done it.  I prayed that God would help me live life with them and not get ahead of them.

Here’s the thing:  the verse in my devotions was Psalm 32:8, “I will instruct you and teach in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.”(NIV)

How God does all that (instruct, teach, counsel) is secondary to what He is saying about me in this verse.  He desires to patiently care for me; He’s concerned for me; He has high hopes for me.  God is not feeling like I’m in transition and wishing me quickly on to the next stage.  God is with me where I’m at, patiently caring, concerned, and with high hopes for me … at this stage right now.

That’s a good attitude to have with my kids as well.

Until Next Time!

Pastor Paul

Question:  How can you model God’s outlook and actions with those you’re in relationship with?

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Home Repairs and Me Don’t Mix

Do you ever have one of those days where everything just falls into place?  Even when the odds are against you, things still happen easily without a hitch.  That doesn’t happen to me often, but it did the other day.

It all started with me having to fix the skylight on my cottage (trailer).  If you know me, you know words like “easy”, “smooth”, “without a hitch”, “cinch”, “piece of cake” would not be column headings on “Jeopardy” if I was a contestant.  These would not be categories I am an expert in.

When I have to fix something it might involve me cutting myself, throwing a tool, or shouting something unintelligible in frustration.  But not yesterday!

We had a leak around the skylight on our trailer.  Last fall we shingled the roof and when we came back in the spring we noticed some water marks by the skylight.  When I went on the roof and checked, everything looked pretty good, so I put some more caulking in a few spots and hoped that would do it.

But last week when we had some rain, I noticed it was damp around that skylight again.  I put it off a few days, saying that it was just too hot and I didn’t want to mark up the shingles by walking on the roof.  Really it was an excuse because I just didn’t want to tackle the project.

Mention the words “skylight” and “moisture” and most people will make a face, shake their heads and mutter something like “good luck”.  But that was the job and I needed to get it done.  In some ways it was a good day for the job – there was a nice breeze, it was overcast, and not hot.  But it looked like it could rain at any moment.

This was one of those projects you don’t necessarily know what you’re getting into, you just start and see where it takes you.  I took off the silicone caulking with ease, which was pretty amazing.  Then I unscrewed the screws holding the skylight to the frame without a hitch.

Then I got my brother involved and we went to the hardware store for supplies.  I went directly to the help desk (something I don’t normally do), told the guy what I needed and quickly got personal assistance finding everything on my list – it was so smooth.

We got back on the roof, placed putty around the frame and then screwed the skylight to it – it was a cinch.  The silicone would be a problem though.  I’ve worked with it before and, along with making a mess of things, I’ve been known to be peeling bits of silicone off body parts for days afterward.

But not this time!  My brother showed me a secret (I’d have to kill you if I told you) and we put that silicone on so well, mess free, and quickly – it was a piece of cake.

And then the sky that was threatening rain, never did the rest of the day – how awesome is that?

So I was wondering why this project went so well . . . Oh, did I mention my wife Lily prayed with me before I began that God would help me, that it would be an easy job for me? . . .  there’s an idea for the next project.

Until Next Time!

Pastor Paul

Question: At what point in a project do you find yourself praying?  Leave your comments below.