family

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How Your Words Carry A Lot Of Weight

I think I may be helping my wife lose her mind. We have more power in what we say than we realize, so we really need to make sure what we say is true and right.

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Recently, Lily and I were getting ready to go on a vacation. There was just one glitch. I had to do some scrambling to get a post-dated pay cheque. But I finally got it and we took off.

Things were going well for the first bit of vacation when I realized it was past pay day. So I said to Lily, “We have to get my cheque in the bank”, and promptly got the reply of “where is it?”

I couldn’t believe she was asking that question because I was positive I had given it to her when I came home. So I told her, “You have it!”

She looked at me with a stunned look and I could almost see the wheels in her brain spinning back and forth trying desperately to remember where she had put the cheque.

Both of our minds were now working overtime trying to figure out where this cheque was. We both started looking in places where we might have put it and even places where there’s no way it would be.

All the time I kept telling Lily, “I gave it to you”. And, to be honest, I only thought I gave it to her but I couldn’t actually remember handing her the cheque.

This mini crisis went on for a while. Lily called our son to see if he had seen it at home. She checked to see if we could get by without it. There was even talks of contingency plans of having it couriered to us.

All the while, I was drumming it into Lily’s mind that I had given her the cheque.

For about twenty minutes this kept up, and I was trying to retrace my steps in my head because I thought maybe I hadn’t given my cheque to Lily … not that I was going to publicly admit that out loud!

As I went through my steps, I picked up a folded piece of paper on the coffee table in our cottage. Although I had looked at this paper before, I had only glanced at it because, of course, I had given my pay to Lily.

This time I unfolded the paper and looked at what was there. Guess what? My pay cheque was inside. It all came back to me how I got the cheque and what I did with it.

At this point, however, Lily blurted out, “No wonder I think I’m losing my mind! It’s you planting thoughts in my head that aren’t true that get me worrying that I’m not able to remember things!”

Now she thinks it’s my secret plan to drive her crazy!

Here’s the thing: It’s not a good thing to lead someone to believe something that’s not true. It’s criminal to lead someone to believe something about God and His Word that’s not true. We need to be very careful when speaking for God that our words are not just hearsay. The answer is to know God’s Word and then be careful using words like “God told me” or “God says”. Make sure it’s really true before you lead someone to believe it.

That’s Life

Paul

Question: Have you led someone to believe something that you later found out was not true? I’d like to here your thoughts; you can leave your comment below.

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How To Get Things Done

I really dislike times when my mind is bombarded with thoughts of things I need to do or act on. It unearths a stress in me like a volcano stoking up to explode.

iStock_000010078705Small-to-do-list

It happens often when I’m getting close to some kind of event or deadline – a time like, let’s say, vacation time, which is coming up very soon for me.

I have a ton of things that are flying through my mind, things I need to get moving on. Some things I wouldn’t have to do if I wasn’t going away. But because I am, and there is a deadline, they get piled onto the list.

It’s only 7:30 in the morning as I am writing this piece, but my mind is whirling with about 10 things I need to be putting some time into today. Now that’s on top of the things I have already scheduled to do today!

If I was to attempt to do all the things on my list, I’m looking at about a 26 hour day. Unfortunately, the guy who invented the clock never made one with more than 24 hours.

And the God who created the world set the earth on a rotation that gives us that same 24 pattern for day and night.

Unless the earth gets slammed hard by meteor or something, I think I’m stuck with the same number of hours in a day that we’ve always had. And that thought isn’t helping my stress; nor is it reducing the number of things I have to spend time on.

Something that helps me when I get like this is an exercise I do to deal individually with each project, to-do item or action, and then break it down.

You have to think of each item individually because, when you stay focussed on all the things you have to do, it is just too overwhelming. The pile of work looks massive; you can’t see your way to the end.

So I list each one. I first single them out. Then I break each one down into bite-sized morsels because each to-do or job can be massive. I break them down into small parts that I can do at one time.

I try not to look at the whole project after that, just the next little bite I need to take to get me closer to eating the whole thing.

Here’s the thing:  We sometimes get asked to pray for many things. But what happens is, when we go to pray, we get overwhelmed with all the requests before us, let alone the things we regularly pray for and our own personal needs. It looks like too massive a list and it’s hard to remember them all.

First, don’t try to remember them all; write them down so you can see each request. Then determine how long the request will remain on your list and pray one detail regarding each request for each day it’s on your list.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you pray through the mountain of requests that come to you? I really like to hear from you, so leave a comment below.

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What You Need To Know About Perfect Timing

You know when you get that “WOW” moment, when something happens at the exact right time? It might be an important letter that comes just when you need it. Maybe you arrive on the scene at the exact time you’re needed most.

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Whatever it is, we call it “perfect timing”, and it amazes us every time it happens, doesn’t it?

This week we were stripping the paint off our cottage deck. Some was wearing off, some was blistering off … and I’m not sure what was going through the mind of the previous owner when he picked the colour to begin with!

The first day was a beautiful sunny, warm day and we got most of the paint off the deck itself. But we still had the railing posts and the steps to do.

The next day it started out raining. The sky was very dark and it looked like that was what it would be like the rest of the day. We had almost decided to pack up and go home when we got a little break in the rain.

So instead of leaving, we started in on it. We worked for most of the morning and then took a break for lunch. By mid afternoon we had used up all the goop we had bought to get the paint off.

We were pretty much done, so we started cleaning up and putting everything back in order. All the deck furniture, BBQ, etc. needed to be put back on the deck, not to mention the railing inserts that needed to be nailed back into place.

When everything was done, and the shed locked, we went into the cottage, and turned around to look at the work we had done. And WOW, the rain just started coming down like God had recanted on His promise to never send a flood again!

If we had have been out there ten seconds longer we would have been caught. It was quite a storm because twenty minutes away in Owen Sound a tornado touched down, and later that day there was another tornado in another part of the province.

But for us, it was perfect timing! … It reminds me of a time when my then 1 1/2 year old daughter was jumping on the same couch I was sitting on. I was talking to people across from me and out of the corner of my eye I noticed she jumped too high and went right over the armrest of the couch.

Without looking, I stuck my hand out and caught her by the ankle, with her head just inches from hitting the floor. It was a great catch – again perfect timing!

Perfect timing is awesome to experience. But you never know it’s going to happen until it does.

Here’s the thing: We can get really frustrated wanting something from God and then waiting seemingly forever for an answer. Whatever you do, don’t get in the way of what God is doing so that you miss His perfect timing. When God answers, it may surprise you, be different than you thought, or come at the eleventh hour. But one thing is for sure: it will be perfect timing. Then soak in the WOW.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: When have you experienced that perfect timing from God? I’d love to hear from you; you can leave your comment below.

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Why Keeping Secrets Can Hurt You

I need you to keep this blog a secret … at least from my doctor. Today is my birthday and there are probably going to be a few surprises. But there will also be a few things that I am sure of today.

Paul's Birthday cake

While I have no idea what presents I will receive, I do know what cake I will be eating on my birthday. It’s the same every year. And just to confirm my already confident prediction, I saw Lily baking it.

Now the reason we have to keep this from my doctor is because of the sugar and fat content of this cake. All cakes fall into the “not healthy” category of food groups, but my cake probably ranks up there higher than most.

The ingredients are simple: angel food cake, whip cream and raspberries. When the cake has been baked, it is cut in half and both halves are hollowed out just a bit. Then in a bowl you mix the raspberries into the whip cream to make the “icing”.

Once that’s done, you put a ton of the “icing” into the hollowed out parts of the cake and then put the two halves back together.

Finally, you slather the outside of the cake (and I mean slather it on thick) with the whip cream mixture and you’re done.

Now is your mouth watering already? . . .  Mine is, and it’s only 7:30 am when I’m writing this piece.

So, you see, this is not the kind of thing you share with your doctor.

When he asks how you are feeling, you say, “Very well, thank you.”  When he asks, “Have you been getting your exercise?” you say, “I’ve been biking three times a week.” When he queries how you have been eating, you DON’T mention the cake. You just say, “I’ve been trying to eat more vegetables lately.”

Now I only get this cake once a year. It’s strictly a birthday cake, not an “I thought I’d bake your favourite cake Friday”. But this year I got a bonus.

For the first time in six years, Karlie was home for her birthday and Lily, like usual, was all geared up to bake her a cake. But to everyone’s surprise, and my delight, Karlie asked for my birthday cake.

So I’ve had a couple of pieces already this year; just as good as ever, and double reason not to let this leak out to the doctor.

By the way, it’s not all bad. I’ll be working that cake off today by stripping the paint off my deck at the cottage. It will be like I ate only vegetables today.

Here’s the thing: In life we can keep things from others. We might do it to look good or because we would be embarrassed or ashamed if others knew. But just like my birthday cake will contribute to clogging my arteries and adding on a few pounds, keeping things from others only hurts yourself. You can try to keep things from God, and try to ignore the fact that He knows everything. You can even pretend that it’s all a secret. But you are only hurting yourself. Admit your sin to God; don’t try to hide it from Him. He knows anyway … just like my doctor will probably get wind of this blog.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How has keeping something from others hurt you in the long run? I’d really like to hear from you;, you can leave your comment below.

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What It Takes To Get A Good Night’s Sleep

There is a secret to getting a good night’s sleep, and it requires that you are at peace. However, peace is not that easy to come by. There are so many things that interrupt our peace.

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For me, it looks like I will finally get a good night’s sleep tonight. It’s been some time since I’ve been able to feel well-rested when I get up in the morning.

If you’re wondering if I’ve tried taking sleep medication to help me get a good night of rest, the answer is no … but I have thought of not watching the NHL playoffs so I could get to bed earlier.

Of course, that’s only good in theory.  In reality, no matter how tired I am when I get up, no matter how often during the day I tell myself I should go to bed early, when the game starts I’m up till it’s done.

But that scene is now finished for the season. I can now rest in peace … well, I don’t mean it like it sounds. I don’t intend to rest forever, quite yet. But at least now I can get the proper rest I need.

When the game ended last night (actually, early this morning), I was able to fall asleep in moments after I hit the pillow.

It wouldn’t have been the case if the Toronto Maple Leafs had been there. I would have been on such an anxious, joy-filled, Dr. Pepper high, that I would have needed another hour or so just to get calm enough to get horizontal enough to sleep.

Even still, all game long, every time the fans chanted “Go Kings Go”, it sounded to me like they were shouting “Go Leafs Go” … to which I joined in and chanted quietly along with them.

Maybe it was that Leaf power that propelled the LA Kings to finally end the game in the second period of overtime. With 5:17 left in the second overtime period, that was around 1:00 am at my house, Martinez finally put the playoffs to bed.

Then with the festivities after the game, each player skating with the cup, pictures, and interviews, it went until about 1:45 am.

But the most fitting part was when Ron McLean was wrapping up the NHL season, and the TV feed was lost and the screen went blank. What a shame we didn’t get to hear Ron’s last pun to end the season. Maybe next year they can go to black more often when Ron does his little ditties.

Funny thing, I must have slept like a baby after that because I woke up before my alarm went off at 6:00 am! … though I did hang around in bed for another ten minutes to make sure I was really awake and not dreaming.

Here’s the thing: Life has its moments when it’s tough to find the peace we need to function well and feel rested. Real peace – lasting peace – only comes from having assurance that Christ has forgiven you. Trusting in Christ’s sacrifice for you gives you peace so you don’t have to carry anxiety with you day and night. Rest well.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What keeps you from getting the full rest you need? I’d really like to hear from you, so leave a comment below.

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Why We All Think We Are Lucky

 

I thought just young people believed they were invincible. It turns out that most of us think nothing bad is going to happen to us.

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In the last month I have heard of three people getting ticks. Two of them I see at least on a weekly basis. And it’s a little serious because about 20% of the ticks in this region of Ontario carry Lime disease.

The tick problem in our parts concerns me because I mountain bike in wooded areas … which is prime territory for the minute little creatures. I just recently found out that a guy, who bikes in the same place I bike, picked up a tick on the weekend.

Knowing this bothers me. But, you know what? I’m not going to stop biking in the area.

Some precautions are to wear long-sleeved shirts, and long pants tucked into your socks. You should also splash on a good dose of repellent with Deet in it.

That’s all fine and dandy but I’m not biking in attire that is fit for a Spruce Meadows equestrian event. Nor am I crazy about using mosquito repellent as cologne for the next several months.

I have a good mind to take my chances when I go biking. And that’s the thing – if there really is a 20% chance of getting a tick with Lime disease, that means I have an 80% chance of not getting one.

That causes one to start thinking, “How lucky do I feel?” It’s the same question Clint Eastwood asked the bad guy in one of his movies. He pointed his gun at the robber and said “You’re thinking, ‘Did he fire six shots or only five?’ … well you have to ask yourself, ‘Do I feel lucky?’”

We all take risks all the time, and not just with ticks, but with other things, too. In an article I read on heart attack recovery, it said up to 80% of heart attack survivors return to previous unhealthy lifestyle patterns.

We think that even though we’re not doing all that we should, we’ll still be okay.

It’s supposed to be those who are 16 – 28 that think they’re untouchable. But I wonder if they are just coming by these traits naturally by watching older generations living like the cat down the street with nine lives.

I think this mentality has more to do with habit and less to do with feeling lucky. I think we have a hard time giving up what we like. We don’t like giving up our comfort foods, our sedentary lifestyle, our fashion, or even what something feels like when we have it on (repellent or sunscreen).

So every day we wake up and, without consciously thinking it, we act like we feel lucky.

Here’s the thing: We can live our whole life thinking that either there is no God or that in the end God will befriend us. If you live that way you have to ask yourself, “Do I feel lucky?”, because if you’re wrong, the consequences are eternal.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you take little risks every day without thinking about the consequences? I’d really like to hear from you; you can leave your comment below.

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What You Give Your Attention To Will Be Important To You

I believe something will fade in its importance to you when you stop paying attention to it. I stumbled on this principle this week.

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He’s gone, and he’s not coming back. No more Winston the turtle in our house. No more swimming frantically when someone passed by his tank. No more bashing into the tank glass when he would get scared off his rock.

Oh, he’s still living. He has a life expectancy of about 25 – 30 years, so I figure he has over twenty years of life left.

Winston is just no longer in our home. It was a bit of a sad day. Lily and Karlie drained the tank, packed up the filter and all the other paraphernalia, and took him to a new home.

You know, when my kids were young, when I came home they would come running to the door to see me and give me big hugs. Since they’ve grown up, it’s been Winston who has excitedly paddled at the edge of his tank when I came home.

It might have been that he wanted me to feed him instead of just being happy to see me … I can think what I want, can’t I? He can’t speak for himself.

Winston didn’t get all that much attention at our house. Karlie lives in another city, and Mike, though living in town, didn’t have much to do with him.

So it was down to Lily and I to take note of him and I mostly talked to him as I was passing by the living room.

That left Lily to care for him … and she did more than just talk to him. She fed him, cleaned his tank and filter, and took him out to let him walk around.

It’s Lily who had the hardest time saying good bye.

Lil would hold him and stroke the underside of his neck which he seemed to like. I guess there’s no more of that now.

He’s been gone less than a week and I still find myself looking over to that corner when I enter the living room to make sure I don’t scare him off his tanning rock.

Now he’s with a good family, with three kids to watch him, feed him, walk him, and give him more attention than we could.

But they need to be aware that Winston is a passive pet. And by that, I mean you have to go to him; he doesn’t come over to you to get petted or hugged or have his hand held. (I would hold his hand or paw after I fed him).

The poor little guy is gone. … But already our house is feeling like it’s back to normal.

Here’s the thing: You get attached to any pet, but the more interaction you have with that pet, the more important it will be to you, and the harder it is to say good bye. The same is true with attending church. The more interaction you have with Christ and His people, the more important they will be to you, and the harder it is to stay away. It’s easier to stay away from church when you are a passive attender. Make sure then you develop close connections with friends at church.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What is one excuse you’ve used to miss going to church in the last 3 months? I’d really like to hear from you; you can leave your comment below.

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Why Prayer Is Aways A Good Thing

There are things we will pray for right away and things we won’t pray about … or at least until we’ve exhausted every avenue.

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In my last blog, I told you that I couldn’t figure out how to get the front wheel off my bike and, in the process, how I lost two small ball bearings on my garage floor. You can read about that story, “How To Prevent Making Multiple Mistakes” here.

Let me tell you how that story finished up …

I was really kicking myself for taking the axle apart and losing the ball bearings, especially after I watched a YouTube video on how to take off a quick-release wheel with a thru axle. It is so simple and easy, I broke the part for nothing.

The next day I went into the bike shop and explained what I did, hoping magically they would have a new axle or a couple of replacement parts just waiting for me.

Sadly, the mechanic told me to bring the axle in and he’d look at it. So the next day I took the axle in and left it. The following day I called the shop hoping for some good news. Instead, what I was told was they didn’t have ball bearings that small.

Basically, they said it would probably be okay for a while, but a new axle would cost about $70 and they would have to order it in.

I was really out of options at that point. I went to the shop, got my axle and started thinking about whether to buy a new axle or not. When I came home and told my wife, Lily, her first response was, “Well, we will just pray about it and look again for those ball bearings.”

So I prayed “Lord, help me find those ball bearings” and even as I prayed it my thought was, “This is so petty. It’s not a prayer for some life or death situation. It’s not a prayer for some great cause or for provision for someone in serious need. It’s just, ‘Lord help me find those two tiny little silver glimmers of light rolling around my garage floor.’”

I stepped into the garage, looking for “a needle in a hay stack”. I walked over to the area when I had lost them and started moving things out of the way. I cleared the area of a few car tires, some wood, a ladder, and then looked down. Right in front of me was a gleaming ball bearing!

I hadn’t really even started my search; I had just looked down. There it was! I brought it into the house, and Lily got all excited. She came right out with me and knelt down in the area and in less than three minutes she found the other one.

Here’s the thing: I had looked for those ball bearings the night I lost them. I had searched pretty carefully at the time. So to find them this easily was just God saying, “You asked and here they are.” Something as insignificant as ball bearings God chose to provide. No matter what your need is, it’s always a good thing to pray. God even cares about the petty things that bother us.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you delayed praying for, that God answered when you finally asked? I’d really like to hear from you; you can leave your comment below.

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The Answer To An Age-Old Automobile Controversy

I believe I’ve just uncovered an automobile mystery that has baffled mankind of a long time … at least since the passenger car was invented.

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In fact, I feel a little like Banting and Best when they discovered insulin, or when a scientist discovers some kind of breakthrough that will lead to possibly finding a partial cure for a certain strain of a multifaceted disease that continues to develop into different strains.

Whoa, I got a little dizzy just writing that.

Back to my discovery. I got in the car the other day and when I turned a corner the sun shining through the windshield almost blinded me. All I could see was a big red ball of light, so I quickly pulled down the sun visor to block it out.

When I did that, I stumbled onto something that could be a key to changing driving habits, all the way to changing insurance rates.

When I pulled down that visor, I almost scared myself into the next lane of traffic. The shield covering the visor mirror was gone. I went from looking into the centre of the sun to looking at two eyes staring at me and it freaked me out.

Fortunately, I controlled myself and stayed in my lane. But not everyone is as composed as I am when they drive. And here’s my discovery …

The mirror in the visor is a driving hazard and the ones who are guilty of using it are mostly women. Because of it, they are causing untold numbers of accidents.

Every time I look behind the visor, if my wife has been sitting in the seat before me, that mirror is visible. Imagine how many men have jerked the steering wheel to the left, when they’ve suddenly seen a pair eyes about six inches from their face.

Or how about the light that reflects off a woman’s bleached white teeth, hits the mirror and like a laser pointer temporarily blinds some poor unsuspecting driver behind her.  Another accident.

Or what about the women who’s putting on her makeup and drifts a little, causing the car beside her to swerve and careen into a light pole on the side of the road.

You see what I’m saying?

Statistics says that “80% of collisions and 65% of near crashes have some form of driver inattention as contributing factors” (National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, 2010).

I’m not saying women cause more fatal accidents. No, men are best at doing that. But statistics say that women are in more fender benders than men.

It’s that distraction factor, and a little piece of the solution could have something to do with the mirror that is on the back of sun visors.

This is still an early discovery. Now I just have to figure out how to get Lily to place the cover back over the mirror when she’s done.

Here’s the thing: God is trying to teach us all the time, but often we are distracted by other things. Being attentive to little things can lead you to discover something amazing about God that you haven’t noticed before. You can learn much about God from life around you. Don’t be so distracted by something that’s right in your face that you miss learning about God’s character and how that relates to you.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What discovery have you made recently about God? I’d love to hear from you; you can leave your comment below.

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How To Develop Neatness in Your Children

I wonder if neatness is something that you grow into, just like you grow into new sizes of clothes and how you grow into a new set of teeth. It just happens as you get older.

Black & white (Ex)

My son, Mike, has been home for the last week, in-between places. The old apartment lease was up at the end of the month but the new place, which I like to call the “Park St. I Palace” (or PIP for short), was not ready yet.

I call the new place the PIP because it’s on Park Street and it’s all about being independent and out of all the grungy holes he’s lived in while at university. This place is palatial!

So with this transition period, Mike needed a place to store his furniture and stuff. The furniture we put in the garage, and the stuff, well, it took over three rooms in the house and then leaked a little more into the living room and a bathroom.

Whoa! I forgot what his room was like when he was in high school; now there’s just more of it. I remember being messy when I lived at home (and I wouldn’t say that I’m a neat freak now), but Mike takes messy to a new level of disorder.

Since I’m much neater now, I figure there is a chance Mike will become neater, too. You see, he just hasn’t grown into his neatness yet.

The thing is, you can predict when you grow into some things, like your new teeth. It starts happening around six and by about twelve you have your new set that will last you a lifetime … or until you get a few knocked out playing hockey or something.

But you can’ t predict when you’ll grow into your neatness. For our daughter Karlie, I think it was somewhere between her second and third year of university.

For me, my neatness didn’t come until after I was married, and then there was some mandatory instruction that came with it via my wife.

Possibly, it’ll take a similar scenario for Mike to really grow into his neatness … but he’s pretty remedial so I’m not sure it will be easy on her, whoever that might be.

Some good news for everyone involved in this transition was that the PIP was ready earlier than anticipated and he moved in on Saturday. I helped a little and what I liked right away was the smell of fresh paint when I walked in. The place was clean and bright.

As I looked around at how nice a spot it was, I wondered if he will grow into his neatness there in the PIP. You never know what might kick off a growth spurt.

The great thing for Lily and me is the dishevelled look of the house has returned to its original state. For Lily this is a blessing because now she’s just back to picking up after one mess monster instead of two.

Here’s the thing: We might think we will naturally grow in our relationship with God. But our human tendency is to grow apart from Him. We must make a conscious effort and take specific steps to grow closer to Christ. We must put ourselves in a place where we are learning and discovering and applying His principles to our lives – like being mentored, or joining a small group, or taking a class, or studying the Bible on your own.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question:  So what are you doing to grow in Christ? I’d love to hear from you; you can leave a comment below.