family

by

Mistake After Mistake

A few weeks ago, I wrote about a new project Lily and I are working on at our house. We’re putting new closet doors in our bedroom. (You can read that blog here.)

IMG_2062focus

At that time, it was mostly an idea to follow through on. I had taken the old closet doors off, and since then ordered new doors and begun the work of widening the closet opening.

It was going pretty well … up until last Saturday.

Our new sliding doors arrived and all I needed to do was set the door jams in the frame to make the finished opening the right size.

… It sounds pretty simple, but this is the very reason why I would never make it as a carpenter.  You see, I’m just not that good at getting things level and square and … precise.

I’m more of a rough estimate kind of guy. I also am much better at demolition than I am at construction. I had no problem taking off the drywall (though Lily didn’t like the mess), and I was pretty good and creative at removing a couple of 2×4 studs on either side of the opening.

That part went so smoothly, I even thought I kind of liked doing this project …

… until I remembered my mother’s words to me and my brother when we were young and had just broken another one of her Hummel figurines: “You two should go into the demolition business when you get older because you’re really good at it.”

… until Saturday. That’s the day I needed to put the door jams in. All that required of me was to make sure my opening was large enough, nail three pieces of wood together (two sides and a top piece), and shim it in level and square.

That’s it. It sounds so simple but it took so long! I had to call in the cavalry (my son, Mike), and even between the two of us, we worked all afternoon on it.

When it was done, the sides were pretty level and square, but the joint at one of the corners was splitting. I didn’t care at that point. I figured we could cover that up some how.

So we put up the tracks for the doors to hang on. That part was easy. But when we went to hang the door panels, we realized I had not calculated enough for the height of the doors.

They rubbed on the carpet so that it took a little effort to slide them back and forth.

I was pretty discouraged and didn’t know what to do. I really didn’t want to take that jam out after spend a whole day putting it in.

But by the next morning, I realized I needed to do it. So I did what I do best … I demoed the door jams and took out a 2×4 at the top and replaced it with a 1×4.

Now all I have to do is put in the new jam, and shim it level and square. Sounds simple, right?

Oh brother, here we go again!

Here’s the thing: When you make a mistake, the last thing you want to do is correct it. You try to cover it up, make do with it, even blame someone else for it. But the only way to really fix it is to correct the mistake. This applies to sin in your life too. Don’t cover it up; don’t make do with it or blame someone else. Go to God and correct it. Then you can move on.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How have you dealt with mistakes you’ve made? Leave your comment below.

by

Delaying the inevitable may not be the best.

It’s getting near the end of the grass cutting season, but I’m hoping the problem I’m having with my lawns can wait until next year to be dealt with.

iStock_000010377184Small

When we bought our cottage, we needed doubles of many things because, with two different places, it was impractical to take some things back and forth … like for instance, a lawnmower.

So I own two of them. Unfortunately, neither one is working all that well. I just wish I could get one of them to work properly right now, but in reality, I need them both.

The one at the cottage was inherited when we bought the place. The previous owner said he had mistakenly put a gas and oil mixture in the gas tank so the engine had a surging sound to it.

It sounded like someone revving their car engine at a stop light in hopes the guy beside him would race him off the line. The only difference was this engine never stopped revving!

I took it apart, cleaned everything, and changed filters, gaskets, spark plugs – you name it. For a couple of years it worked well.

But now it’s doing it again, with less power. If I walk too fast it stalls out.

As for my mower at home, I bought it new years ago, but it’s seen better days. I think it’s wearing out. But the big thing with it is it doesn’t cut evenly. With every strip of grass I cut, it leaves a bit of grass behind – sort of like a mohawk haircut.

I think if I could combine them together I might have one lawnmower that worked properly. My worry is that I’m going to have to replace them both at the same time.

Having two of the same thing, in one way, is a great help – I don’t have to move something between two places. On the other hand, I have two things that can break down, need repair or have to be replaced.

I have a real problem to solve. One solution would be to pave both lawns and do away with lawnmowers all together. I like the sound of that, but my wife, Lily is into the green stuff in the yard so I don’t think that will fly.

I wish someone would invent a tele-porter like they used on Star Trek. Then I’d just need one lawnmower that I’d send back and forth. I’d send Lily on ahead to be there, waiting at the other end, when I sent it.

If I was lucky, by the time I got up to the cottage, she would have already cut the grass!

I think what I’m going to do is bear with it for a month or so. I’ll figure something out in the spring … unless I can find a cheap, used mower in the mean time.

Here’s the thing: In life, sometimes we delay getting right with God. We know we need to work things out with Him, but instead we limp along trying to make do with life and its issues as best we can. We secretly hope it will all somehow magically work itself out. The problem is you can delay getting your life on track with God but, at some point, you’re going to have to do business with Him … better sooner than later.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you delayed working on that you really need to get at now?  Leave your comments below.

by

Encouragement That’s Simple Yet Profound

Everyone needs a little encouragement sometimes. If we go too long without it, we can begin to lose confidence, or feel unappreciated, or generally down.

christianencouragementsecularencouragement

There are those who seek encouragement and, at very least, they get attention. When they were children they were the ones who would always say, “Look at me; look at me”, and it was cute to see the new trick they had learned to perform.

When those same people get older, it’s not so cute. When someone’s in their twenties or thirties and are still calling people to take notice of them, it’s just annoying.

It’s not that we don’t want people to notice us, it’s just that we’ve matured to the point where we don’t crave attention and we prefer to be noticed without our solicitation.

It’s really not encouragement when we’ve had to ask for it.

Timing is also important in receiving encouragement. It doesn’t work if it’s not related to something that is going on in your life. It’s important to have close proximity between the encouragement and what you’re being encouraged about.

Telling someone they would be great at something they have no interest in or aptitude for doesn’t really work. In fact, you need both of those – interest and aptitude – for encouragement to work.

I remember when my son was figuring out what he would take in high school. When he listed off his courses, I said, “You should take French because you have a real aptitude for it.”

He just looked at me like I was a stranger he’d never laid eyes on before, then looked back at his mother to continue to list his subjects as if I was no longer in the room.

He did have an aptitude for it; he just didn’t have any interest in taking it. Therefore, my comment was not taken as an encouragement to him in any way.

At least now – ten years later – he recognizes me as his father again!

Unsolicited, close proximity, and resonating with our interests and aptitude – this is the script for a great encouragement.

And the other day, I got one! It was 9:14 Saturday night. I was relaxing, and just finishing watching a movie before heading to bed.

The text read, “Praying for you, Paul … have an amazing time with God tomorrow morning!!”

The next morning I was going to be preaching at our church. To know someone was praying for me in advance of that was a huge encouragement to me. It really picked me up.

I looked for a name but there was only a phone number and not one I recognized. This same person had also texted me something similar back in February.

That was it. It probably took about twenty seconds to type, but it was a big encouragement to me.

My reply was simply, “Thanks”.  And that’s what I was – thankful.

Here’s the thing:  It was a person who texted me that encouragement, but I knew who was behind it. God knew I needed an encouragement right then, before I preached the next day. He prompted that person to pray and encourage me. I thought about trying to figure out who had texted, but I got an overwhelming sense that I should just leave it and take the encouragement as anonymous. God will bring you encouragement when you need it most. Look for it to come in any shape or form.

That’s life!

Paul

Question: How have you been surprisingly encouraged? You can leave your comment below.

by

Who Likes Garage Sales Anyway?

I’ve never been a huge fan of garage sales.

photo 22

It’s not that I think they should be outlawed or anything like that. I’m perfectly fine with people setting up shop in their driveways with their unwanted stuff. And it doesn’t bother me in the least to see people stop and browse that stuff in hopes of buying some of it.

I just don’t like going to them. Don’t get me wrong, I like a deal just like everyone else. It’s that I haven’t found any real deals at the two garage sales I’ve visited in the past.

That’s right, I think I’ve been on other people’s property, with items strewn over their driveways for the purpose of selling, a total of two times.

It’s not my thing. I know people who find treasures at these sales. I’ve even been in homes where the owners have pointed to some prize antique-looking ornament in their living room and have said to me, “I got that at a garage sale”.

It looked great; it fit well in their decor; I was truly impressed. For an instant I felt like right then going to a garage sale to see if there was something for me. But that feeling wore off as fast as it came upon me.

My problem with garage sales is all in my eyes. It has nothing to do with the fact that my eyes are green or I need to wear glasses to read. It has everything to do with what I see when I survey the merchandise at garage sales.

What I see is . . . junk! That’s right, I see stuff that someone doesn’t want any more, things that are past their prime usage point, items that I don’t need. I just see junk, and I can’t get past that.

I’ve tried twice and the garage sale concept hasn’t taken on me. I don’t really care if I can get something that I don’t need (and may never really want) for a buck. And it gives me no thrill to talk the owner down to 50 cents either.

I’m sure that if I went to enough garage sales over a long enough period of time that something of value, some uniquely and intricately created treasure would emerge from them. But that sounds too much like evolution and I don’t believe in that either.

And even if it were true, I couldn’t wait the billions of years for that treasure to materialize!

So, I don’t go to garage sales. I do drive a little slower when I go by them in my car though. But that’s not to try and get a glimpse of what’s up for sale. It’s so I don’t clip some wild-eyed garage saler with my car as he darts across the street to get a used novel for 75 cents.

I don’t need a middle-aged, heavy-set guy rolling up the hood of my car or getting caught up in the undercarriage.

That’s how I feel about garage sales. But having said all that, in part two of this blog (read here), I’ll reveal some astonishing findings.

Here’s the thing: It is one thing to seek treasure; it’s a whole other thing to seek treasure in the right place. Sometimes we seek treasures – like joy, peace, comfort, love and hope – in places where they are worn out, broken and useless. Seeking these things from God is the only place to find lasting treasure.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What’s the greatest treasure you’ve found at a garage sale? Leave your comment below.

by

Our New Project

We just started a new home project at our house. You wouldn’t really notice much if you came over. There’s no design consultants or construction workers around.

IMG_2028

There’s not even any building materials laying around that might tip you off.

The only hint that we’ve begun a new project is our bedroom closet has no doors as of two days ago.

I took a bit of a risk taking the doors off the closet; there is a chance our clothes will be exposed to the room for months. But it was a calculated risk that I was willing to make.

Several weeks ago, Lily and I got the idea while roaming through an Ikea store. We saw some closet organizers that looked amazing. That got me going on a bit of a long-standing tirade about closets and bifold doors.

First of all, it really bugs me that builders construct the opening of a closet about two feet narrower than the actual closet width. That means you have to blindly reach into the corners to get at the clothes that are out of sight, beyond the opening.

To make matters worse, builders then put bi-fold doors on those closets, narrowing the opening again by another foot. Now you’re about two feet way from the farthest piece in your closet.

Frankly, I can’t remember what is back there because I haven’t seen it in about 10 years! There may be pants or a shirt from the eighties for all I know. I can barely reach that far past the closet doors to grab at it.

My beef is if your closet is 100 inches wide, why not make the opening the same width?

So now we’re going to do something about this. We are going to make our closet opening wider and we’re going to put sliding doors on the closet instead of those blasted bi-folds.

We checked out a local hardware store that can order some custom-made sliding doors that Lily likes. We know what doors we like … we just haven’t ordered them yet.

Since even a great idea won’t happen unless you do something, I decided that this project will become something of a dream – or nightmare – unless we take some action. So I took the doors off the closet.

Our bedroom looks like it is in an unfinished state and that’s exactly the look I’m going for right now. It’s one little step to spur us on to the next little step. And all those little moves we make will get us to complete this project.

The key to doing anything is to start. It doesn’t have to be a big start, but – talk all you want, plan till you’re old – it’s not going to materialize unless you make a move.

Here’s the thing: If you’re a seeker with questions about God, you’ll always be a seeker unless you take a step towards getting answers to your questions. If you’re a believer and are unsatisfied with your walk with Christ right now, you will remain frustrated until you make a move to walk closer to God. If you’re serving and don’t feel you’re making a difference, you’ll continue to be discouraged without trying a new ministry opportunity. It only takes one small action to get you moving in a direction that can lead to completion.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you been frustrated with that needs to become a project? Leave your comment below.

by

How To Secure Perks In Life

When we sign up for things, we often take note of the perks that go along with them. It might be the key to the staff room, or a special parking spot – maybe even one with your name on it.

photo

Other perks might be a membership to an exclusive club, or an expense account, or a company car.  Perks are nice; they are those little somethings that make you feel special, important or valued.

But when you sign up for being a dad, you don’t think of the perks you get with that. In fact, when you start out, you don’t even think there are any perks.

There are the 2 am marathons of walking around the family room trying to soothe your little one back to sleep. There are the diapers to be changed, feedings, and the constant questions that never end.

We worry about them, spend money on them, give advice to them, give up our free time for them … do more worrying about them, coax them to spend time with us, more money, more worry, more money.

By the time your kids are in their mid-twenties, there’s been a lot of money and worry that’s gone into them. Perks? They’re not high on the list.

But the other day I got a perk. My kids, Karlie and Mike, took me to a Blue Jays game! It was their birthday present to me. They bought the tickets, and bought me a T-shirt so I would match them in their Blue Jay attire.

This was a far cry from the hockey mini stick Mike made for me years ago (autographed by him). And it’s more than the little cardboard box with stickers Karlie made forever ago for me to put my receipts in. (I still have both of those presents, by the way.)

This wasn’t even something Lily bought for me and they just put their names on it. No, this was something they thought up, something they knew I would like, and something they made arrangements for on their own.

This was a genuine perk. We took in a meal at “Real Sports” just outside the Air Canada Centre, and I got to hang out with my two kids who live in two different cities now.

There was excitement: Mike and I caught up to and beat our Go Train to get on it two stops later, with mere seconds to spare. Karlie had to tell a guy to go away on the subway after he wouldn’t leave her side.

Oh, and there was another perk that day: The Jays walk off win in the 10th inning on an exciting play at the plate!

I never thought of perks when I became a dad. But now it seems like there are some perks, and I have a good feeling there will be more to come.

Here’s the thing: When you sign up with Christ for forgiveness and a relationship with Him, you don’t think of perks along the way. But when you start to take the focus off yourself, your problems and frustrations, and instead concentrate on loving Christ and seeking His will each day, what you find is, He helps you with things you’re not prepared for or equipped to handle. And those are perks you can look forward to every day.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What’s the last perk you received from your kids?  You can leave your comment below.

by

Why Anniversaries Are Special

Special days and anniversaries often come and go without giving them too much thought. There are, however, certain special days that are more special than others.

Pearl-in-a-Shell-psd86432

Though every birthday is special, when someone turns 16 that’s extra special because they can obtain a driver’s license. At eighteen you are considered an adult and get to vote, so that’s special. Depending where you live, 19 or 21 is a special day for dubious reasons.

It seems that span of about five years is littered with extra special days. But after that, the special days like birthdays and anniversaries seem to come in 10 year periods like 30, 40, 50, et cetera.

Some people look forward to these special days; others pretend they didn’t happen.

It’s more likely that someone will want to hide the fact they have reached an age milestone, while being quite proud of reaching an anniversary achievement.

Yesterday I celebrated my 29th wedding anniversary with my wife, Lily. Twenty-nine is not one of those special anniversary dates – 30 is a big deal but 29 is just a run-of-the-mill anniversary.

It doesn’t even have a name or gift associated with it. I figured the gift for the 29th anniversary would be brunch at “Milestones” the restaurant.

It had to be something like that because I have to save up for next year’s anniversary which is “pearl”.

I had a great aunt named “Pearl” and it would’ve been nice to bring her over for tea or something on our 30th … she would be about 115 now. Auntie Pearl passed away 20 years ago so I can’t use her as my “pearl” gift to Lily on our 30th.

It’s a good thing I have a year to figure it out.

But getting back to this no-name 29th anniversary of ours. Though on the surface it doesn’t seem hardly worth getting a card to even acknowledge the day, it is in fact a very special anniversary to me.

On this day I have now been married for exactly half my life – the most recent half, I might add.

That’s significant. Think of all the years you grew up in your home with your family, and then all the years you hung out with friends and went to school, and the years you figured out what career you were going to go for.

Think of all the fun and hardships of the years you spend before you were married, the experiences and adventures, all the people, all the laughter, tears, worry.

Well, all of that, I’ve done all over again with Lily. It’s like I’ve lived life twice, once single and now a second time married.

So you see, my 29th anniversary is a special day. It should be called something, even at the very least, the “corrugated paper” anniversary.

Hey, that’s a great idea! I could get Lily a box, and I could fill the box with hope … hope that next year she’ll get a pearl on her anniversary.

Here’s the thing: Have you ever compared your life before Christ to the time you’ve spent with Him? The experiences, the adventures, the joys, laughter, tears and worry? Have you ever considered just how significant your life with Christ has been so far compared to your life before you knew Him? Take some time to reflect on that, and praise God for your relationship with Him.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What has been a particularly special date or memory you have had with Christ?  Leave your comment below.

by

Why Some Experiences Should Linger

There are experiences that we have that linger and others that don’t.

Around-the-campfire

At our cottage we have a firepit. It doesn’t get used much. In fact, for half of the summer we had our picnic table sitting over it. We don’t even keep a fresh supply of firewood. The wood we have in our bin is a few years old, although I understand that only makes it better for burning.

We only have fires when our kids are around or we have guests with kids. It seems like kids of all ages like to sit by a fire.

I don’t mind sitting by the fire, and at the time I rather enjoy it – unless I have a steady stream of smoke funnelling towards my eyes. I’m not the greatest fire maker, but I’m pretty good at making smoke!

Recently we had a double whammy. Our daughter was up with a friend AND we had friends with kids over who had just moved to the area. There was no getting out of a fire that night.

I was happy someone else made the fire. I just sat down and enjoyed it.

Well, I sort of enjoyed it. When I sat down the smoke was directed right at me, so I had to cover my eyes for the first few minutes. After that everyone else looked kind of blurry because my eyes were still watering.

That’s one reason I don’t like campfires. But the biggest reason I don’t like fires is because afterwards you smell like smoke. You can’t get away from the smell either.

You can change your clothes but your hair still smells smokey. And if you’re a hairy guy or gal, the smoke even hangs on those hairs on your arms and legs (not to mention your back)!

Even washing your hair doesn’t really do the trick. Somehow the fire smell clings on even through the strong scent of Irish Spring soap and Dove shampoo. You come out of the shower feeling clean except for that hint of fire when you turn your head quickly to the right (down wind).

However, there are things about campfires I do like. They’re a real good place to talk. Somehow the fire has this hypnotic effect on people where they stare into the fire and words tumble over their lips … Like that pre-op drug they give you so you can’t keep your mouth shut!

This happens in a greater degree for some than others. The more the coals glow and fire burns, the more of a calming, reflective effect the fire has on people.

In fact, sometimes nothing is said but you’re still communicating. It’s like suddenly you all have mental telepathy; you’ve crossed over to a higher state of consciousness … not really.

Hey, maybe someone should try to bottle this campfire effect! You know, just like they make potato chips with a Canadian maple bacon flavour (how does President’s Choice do that?).

Still, as great as it is, there’s that smell of smoke that lingers that you just can’t shake.

Here’s the thing:  Our time of prayer with God should be like a campfire. When you approach God there should be an easy flow of thoughts back and forth. And when you’re done, there should be a sense of that time lingering … Only you don’t want to wash that sense away; you want to bask in it.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How long does the smoke linger on you? You can leave your comment below.

by

What Kind of Waiting Do You Practice?

This morning I’m sitting on my new deck with my new “conversation set” of outdoor furniture, waiting for the sun to fully come up.

conversation set

As we were finishing our work on the deck last week, I got the vision of a sitting area where we could be comfortable, like in our living room, but outside.

The problem with this furniture is that it is big and we only have a small car. Enter my brother and his SUV.

I did some calculations on the size of the furniture and the size of the back of his SUV and I figured we could get it all in.

I’m kind of getting used to borrowing vehicles to pick up large items. The other day I had to borrow a friend’s pick up truck to get three sheets of lattice and a 12’ piece of 2X6.

I remember the days of independence when I owned a mini van and could haul just about anything in that. Well it’s a new day and I need my friends now more than ever.

We made the twenty minute trek into the big city with John’s SUV and waited forever for the guy in the Canadian Tire warehouse to confirm they had all the pieces to the set.

It took so long that I imagined they had the chairs stored in one place, the ottoman and love seat somewhere else, and the cushions … well, they must have been stored in random spots throughout the warehouse.

I’m sure the guys in the back didn’t really want to give them up. They probably came in handy in remote sections of the warehouse for some part time employee to catch a few winks before his shift was over.

Well, about twenty minutes later, they had finally gotten all the furniture together in one place. We paid and headed around the back to the warehouse to pick up our load.

It didn’t take long (like about a minute) to realize that my calculations on the size of the furniture and the space in the vehicle was off. This stuff was not going to fit in easily.

About another twenty minutes later, after struggling with and rearranging the furniture several times, we finally got it in to the point where the back of the SUV was mostly closed.

There was no rope or twine to be found in the warehouse but they had some plastic string-like substance that we kind of doubted would work … but amazingly it held up very well for the last twenty minutes of our adventure back to the cottage.

It only took about five minutes to unload and set up the furniture … and it will take the next ten years or so to fully enjoy our new outdoor living furniture.

Here’s the thing: When I think of my experience purchasing this furniture, I think of how impatient I am with God and my requests. I don’t really like the twenty minute waits (figuratively speaking) here and there. I want my answers right now. I want to place my order with God like I would at Canadian Tire or McDonald’s and have my order answered in about the time it takes to process my debit card. But God isn’t a McDonald’s employee and He doesn’t take orders from us. Our attitude in prayer should be one of respect and patiently waiting. If God chooses to grant us our request we will have years to enjoy it.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How have you had to learn patience when seeking a request from God? I’d like to hear from you; you can leave your comment below.

by

When Your Vacation Becomes Work

I’m used to a vacation where I spend a lot of time relaxing at the beach under an umbrella or dodging the waves in the water. That’s why this vacation seems to be more like work.

IMG_0006

Hey, who am I kidding? – it is work! We’ve been working on our deck at the cottage for about four days now. We haven’t put a foot on the beach yet, though we looked at it from the window of a restaurant we had dinner in one night.

We haven’t gone for walks down to the beach or walks along the beach. We haven’t even broken out the beach umbrella yet.

It’s been work, work work, scrubbing, scraping, washing, building. For some people who like projects that might sound like fun. But when you fall into bed each night exhausted, with muscles aching, back breaking, it takes just a little of the fun out of it. It’s work!

… We’re done now and the beach is calling.

We’ve had good weather so far – that is, we’ve had good working weather – a good deal of sun but a gentle, cool breeze to keep you moving and not overwhelmed by heat.

Now we need some hot – REAL hot – humid weather to draw me down to the lake like a magnet to a fridge … unless you have one of those stainless steel fridges … but you get what I mean.

Don’t get me wrong, the deck looks great, but I came here for a vacation, not work.

I want to go a day without a drill in my hand or a compound miter saw next to my wife. She does all the cutting, by the way …

Many years ago, I had a couple of incidents of cutting my finger: once with a really toothy saw for about seven stitches, and once with an utility knife for about four stitches. After that the family started taking sharp instruments away from me. I had to prove I would be safe using standard cutlery for a while after that.

I just told that story to my neighbour who wondered why Lily was doing all the sawing. I explained that it’s her mitre saw; I bought it for her.

But hey, let’s get back to the beach! I’m thinking that a nice patch of silky sand will do. I’ll throw up the umbrella by the shore, maybe even sip a little Dr. Pepper. I’ve got a book I’ve been wanting to read and that’s a perfect spot to crack it open on my iPad.

Here’s the thing: Your relationship with God should not seem like work. It’s a relationship not a job. So if you find it work to keep up with God, in terms of time spent with Him or service you do for Him, you need to change things up. You need to focus on making your relationship with God more relational. It might be as simple as how you talk to Him, and what you talk about. That’s where I would start.

That’s Life!

Paul