family

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Too Busy To Set Goals?

It’s a good feeling to complete a goal you’ve had for some time. When you have to squeeze that goal into an already tight schedule, there is a sense of relief when it’s done.

deck paint

Last summer Lily and I redid the deck at our cottage. We had all kinds of advice about how to get the old paint off – a huge, messy chore.

In the end, we used a liquid that was probably filled with all kinds of harmful and cancer-causing chemicals. It did a good job though. We may turn green and begin to glow in five years but we got the paint off.

Most people will then seal the wood with a stain of some kind, but before we did that we decided to clean the wood.

That’s right, good old water is not good enough to clean wood any more. You have to use another chemically-laden liquid to wash all that grit and grime out of the planks.

Well that worked too. It was amazing how bright the wood became. It took that grey, lifeless timber and we got it looking like we just chopped a tree down and sent it through the mill.

We were so impressed with how it turned out we decided not to stain it at all. Instead we are going to leave the deck unprotected. Can you believe that? Wood unprotected? There are probably laws against that but don’t tell anyone that’s what we did.

We figure that when it starts looking its age again (because right now it looks ten years younger than it really is), we will just clean the deck again with that rich chemical wash that seems to transform the wood back to its natural colour.

After doing all that, we also took the old railing off the deck and put on a new one, which really looks nice!

Last year at this time, we were proud of the work we had done. We were tired; it was hard work, but we felt really good … like we’d improved the cottage.

I like to take my time savouring those kinds of moments – like maybe for a couple of years or so.

But not Lily. She thought that it looked so good at our cottage, we should do the same thing with our deck at home. The idea was when we got back from vacation we would get busy on the home front.

What? Two decks in one year? I thought, “Who am I? A pastor or a guy who works on decks for a living?” … I put it off for the rest of the year.

But when this year began, Lily managed to sneak it on to our list of goals. We ended up being so busy, I even had to work on the deck on my birthday. But it looks great! … Lily wishes we had have done this five years ago. I wish we could buy a big ole retractable umbrella to give us a little shade on that deck.

Maybe that’s next year’s goal.

Here’s the thing: Set goals for growing in your relationship with God. Determine topics or books of the Bible you want to explore. This year I’m focussing on prayer. I’ve read four books on prayer since January. You might have to work hard – even sacrifice to accomplish those goals – but you are going to smile at the results when you reach them.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What more do you want to know about God or the Bible? Leave your comment below.

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When Thankfulness Goes From Oblivious To Reality

In raising children, it’s easy to get the idea that your kids are oblivious to what you do for them. This week I learned that, despite the exterior finish of being absorbed in one’s self, underneath there is a high gloss coat of reality.

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I think what gets parents believing that our kids are not in touch with reality is because they start with a warped, small view of the world around them.

At first their world consists of just Mom and Dad. It’s years before they go off to school and begin to expand their understanding of how the world works.

Time is all about them … and they can’t even tell time. They do slowly learn the notion of hours and minutes and get it eventually – especially if you give them a digital watch and don’t try to confuse them with the big hand, little hand concept … let’s not even mention that sweeping hand!

Distance doesn’t compute with them either. They don’t get that something is far away.

… I remember when we moved from Edmonton to Kingston. It took us four days of driving to get there. You would think that being cooped up in a car for more than eight hours a day for that long would be etched upon the little minds of children. No!

A week after we arrived in our new city, our five year old wanted to have his best friend over for his birthday party. That best friend now lived 3700 kilometres away, but our son thought we should just pick him up and drive him over. When we said it would take too long, he said to fly him over.

Which brings up another concept young children don’t appreciate outside of their world of want – money. Kids have no clue of the value of money. To them the value difference between a quarter and a loonie (dollar coin) has to do with the size and sparkle of the coin and not its purchasing power.

When we commented to our son, who was three at the time, that we couldn’t afford to get him a certain toy, he promptly said, “Just put it on layaway”.

We had never done that before, so we questioned him on where he got that idea. He heard about it on TV and had no idea what layaway was except it seemed to him that he could get what he wanted, if we did that.

After years and years of living with your children’s concept that the world revolves around them, it’s difficult to perceive them understanding the bigger picture. You wonder if they will ever get to the place of appreciating the world outside of themselves.

Well, I got a Father’s Day card yesterday that proves they really do have a grasp on reality.

The front of the card read, “I finally found a Father’s Day card that really captures the experience of raising a son like me . . .”  On the inside, as you opened the card, there was a toilet with a $20 dollar bill sliding into it. The caption read:

“Amazing, isn’t it? Don’t think about it, and have a great day.”

Thanks, Son.

Here’s the thing: God gives us so much, and we so often forget to think of how much comes from Him – things like family, provision, health, possessions, work, rest, relaxation, abilities, skills, spiritual gifts, etc. Take some time to think about all God does for you and thank Him. It really is amazing.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What are you most thankful for today? Leave your comment below.

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Change Happens Over Time

A lot can happen over a long period of time. You don’t notice the change at first because it takes time to develop.

leaky tap

Recently, we cleaned the deck in our backyard. When we moved in to our house the wood was pressure-treated and it looked great. But over the years it started to look grey and old and there were dark patches that became more dominant.

It didn’t just happen; it gradually got that way so that it kind of snuck up on us. But one day we realized we needed to do something about this deck; it was not looking very good.

Scientists will say that’s the way the whole world works; it’s called evolution. Given enough time, things develop. One problem I see with their theory is that, with everything at my house that changes over time, it changes for the worst!

It deteriorates; it doesn’t get better, or turn into something new and improved. Things get worse.

You might not notice for a while, or pick up on the little signs, or indicators, but down the road at some point you realize that things are not as they were, and it’s not for the better.

This week Lily discovered something in our basement that had developed over the last week or so. I had sort of noticed that there was something going on in our basement, but it wasn’t totally clear to me.

On Friday night, Lily was talking on the phone and walking in the basement when she stepped on a wet part of the carpet.

It wasn’t supposed to be wet there and, as she looked further, she discovered that this wet area was pretty large. It had soaked the bottoms of book cases, a closet organizer and some picture frames.

When Lily told me, I realized what I had noticed earlier – a faint, musty smell that was actually coming from this water.

We knew right away where the problem originated. I had fixed a few taps in the house last week and, in doing that, had to shut off the water in the house. Well, the tap at the water meter had been dripping slowly since that time.

I guess it turns out that taps only last nineteen years because I’ve now replaced all the taps that old in the place!

It’s pretty amazing how a little drip over time can soak such a large piece of carpet and ruin several things. If it had have been a faster drip, I probably would have noticed it and not left it.

But I didn’t notice the leaky tap, and a week later it had created a mess!

It takes some people time to notice things. A few days ago, I was talking to someone and he motioned at my face. I knew immediately what he was referring to – my goatee … which is not there anymore and hasn’t been for a year and half.

There were no lasting effects with my facial hair going undetected. However, we have a big clean up ahead of us from that undetected drip in our basement.

Here’s the thing: Messes, like sin and hurts, if not addressed, can interfere with your relationship with God. They may not be that noticeable at first, but as more messes pile up, the damage to your relationship with God can get to the point where everyone around you notices things aren’t right. Don’t let the little things go unattended and you will keep your relationship with God in good shape.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you noticed that turned into something big? Leave your comment below.

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Silent Communication 

Have you ever wished you had gotten the silent treatment? You know, when someone refuses to speak to you even if you coax them?

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I can’t say that I’ve experienced that in my marriage. Neither Lily nor I use that method of communication.

It sounds funny to say “silence” and “communication” in the same sentence. But we do communicate through silence.

I had an instructor once who had a line he would use all the time in teaching leadership. He would say, “You can not not communicate.” It had a double negative thing going on and sounded funny to hear and to say, but it’s true.

Even in silence there is communication.

When someone goes silent, they may be communicating that they’re mad – believe me, it doesn’t take a mind reader to figure that out!

That’s just one thing that silence can communicate; there are many others …

When someone is silent, it might mean they are sad, depressed, don’t know the answer or don’t know what to say. … Mind you, there are a lot of people who don’t know things but it doesn’t stop them from sharing what they don’t know with words that almost sound like they do know!

Often when someone is silent, we don’t like it. We get uncomfortable when there is silence; we’re so used to having something in the background, some kind of noise.

When we drive in a car, we often have a radio or music playing, even if it’s low and hard to hear. It’s better than just plain silence.

In my car, silence is never an issue. I always have the sound of wind that gets louder the faster you go. They usually call that white noise, but what I experience is beyond white noise.

White noise is gentle, quiet, relaxing, in the background. In my car it sounds like a hurricane is going to break through the glass at any moment and whisk me out of Kansas, right to the land of OZ!

Silence, however, can be appreciated. We have all been in those conversations that we just wished and prayed would end.

Children with their inquisitive minds can make us long for silence … that’s when you play the car game, “Let’s see who can hold their breath the longest as we drive by this grave yard.” Oh, the quiet bliss of those moments of dead air space!

Two people who are very comfortable can remain silent in the same room or place, maybe reading different books, or thinking on their own. But it gets weird if it goes on too long, before someones says, “Hey, listen to what I just read” or “What are you thinking about that’s so funny?”

We were made to communicate, and we do it even in silence. Even when there is nothing to say, even when we can’t find the words to express what we are feeling or thinking.

Here’s the thing: Sometimes God seems silent, and we desperately want to hear from Him. Unfortunately, we don’t have a face or body language to look at to give us a clue as to what He is communicating to us in the silence. The one thing we should not stop doing is seeking to understand what His silence means. Don’t give up; don’t turn away. Keep coaxing, keep investigating what God is saying in the silence.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you feel when God is silent? Leave your comment below.

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How To Fix Things The Hard Way

I needed to be born wealthy. It’s not because I have expensive tastes; it’s because I lack the skills to fix things.

maxresdefaultI’m not great at working with my hands; it doesn’t come that easily to me.

If I was wealthy I wouldn’t have to fix things, or make things, or put things together. I could hire someone to do all that!

I’m not saying that wealthy people never fix things themselves. Some are handy, so they use their money in other ways. I would use money to hire out jobs around the house.

Reality for me, however, is I have had to learn to do things that I’m not particularly adept at.

Like this week when we had three taps that all leaked. There were two in the laundry room and one up in the ceiling of our family room that led to an outside faucet.

I sized up the work involved, took pictures and set off for the hardware store. The guy at the store looked at my pictures, listened to my explanation and then handed me a small package of washers.

He said there was a small washer at the end of these taps, and all I had to do was just remove the tap, use a screwdriver to remove the washer, replace it and put it back together.

I was encouraged. It sounded like a 15 minute job – half hour at best. Easy.

Well, it would have been easy for a handy guy … not so easy for me.

I won’t go into all the details but I had a lot of trouble loosening the screws. They were like frozen on. I guess over the years, having had water on it every day, it got stuck in place.

Well, let’s just say 5 jabs to my finger later – 3 with a screwdriver and 2 with an utility knife – I was no closer to fixing those taps.

I went to the same hardware store twice, and then didn’t think I could show my face there again.  I ended up going to two more hardware stores … not all in one trip. There were four separate trips to hardware stores!

At one point, I just sat down in the family room and watched TV. There wasn’t anything on. It was the middle of the afternoon but I needed something to take my mind off the fifteen minute job I couldn’t complete.

As I sat on the couch, I thought, “If I was wealthy, I’d have a guy in here right now. I’d be able to chat with him while he completed the task.” … But that’s not my lot in life.

I didn’t change the washers out on all the taps and they still leaked a bit. That’s when I looked at my bank account and decided I was richer than I thought.

So I purchased three new taps (they come with washers already in place) for 300% of the cost of the washers. It took me about 20 minutes to get them installed and the leaks were gone.

Why didn’t I just do that in the first place?!

Here’s the thing: Not being handy is a lot like us having to deal with temptation. We are not that good at it. It’s difficult work and we don’t do well much of the time. We get hurt or hurt others in the process. As difficult as it is to keep from sinning, there is coming a day when the riches of heaven will make temptation a thing of the past. Keep doing the hard work in the mean time.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What makes temptation hard work for you? Leave your comment below.

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All Time Is Not Equal

We live in a world that tries to convince us that everyone and everything is equal. Don’t try to tell me that! It’s just not true … time isn’t even equal.

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Time is all measured out; we use it to be exact, to track things. But I’m beginning to believe that all time is not equal. For instance, we have 24 hours each day, and though every hour has 60 minutes in it, not all those hours are equal.

You can’t accomplish the same amount in every given 60 minute period of a day. You can’t even equally enjoy each 60 minute time frame in a day … nor can you control what will take place in any hour.

So when you complain that you’re short on time, and someone says we all have the same amount of time, technically he may be correct, but his statement is rather cliche with very little thought behind it.

This week I was in Toronto for a conference. One night we went to the Blue Jays baseball game. At 5 pm it took us over an hour to get down to the ball park. After the game, and a few more hours spent downtown, the trip back only took us 25 minutes. The difference was mostly traffic.

You naturally have more energy in some hours than others. You can have more interruptions at certain times or a deadline to meet before you can take a break and relax. … I don’t want to be trying do something that requires a lot of thinking when my energy is low or when there is a great chance of interruptions.

The other day I tried to plan accordingly. My intention was to write my blog early on Monday morning, but I had stayed up late the night before and didn’t get up as early as I had hoped to.

I had a short window in which to write my blog because I also had to phone to make an appointment to take our car to our mechanic. When I called, he said he could take the car right then.

Because I got up late, I didn’t start writing my blog early enough and then had to leave it to take the car in. All this took place before 9 am – prime quiet time when I have good mental energy. I lost out because of a bad decision the night before and an appointment which was out of my control.

I never did get a blog written that Monday.

It takes some planning and strategy to coordinate your day into the hours that best suit the things you want and need to do.

You just can’t go into a day without a plan or you won’t be very productive. And if you string a few of those days together, you’ll feel like you will never get out from under the backlog you find yourself in.

Here’s the thing: If you are going to spend time with God you need to plan it. And you need to plan it for a time when you will be mentally alert and you won’t face interruptions. You can’t guarantee all that but you can plan for it. If God is important to you, then plan to spend time with Him when there is the greatest chance that you will be mentally and emotionally able to meet with Him, at a time when you won’t be interrupted by things, people, emails or phone calls.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What time of day are you at your best and least distracted? Leave your comment below.

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Different Rules Apply

This is a reblog of a post I wrote March 26, 2013

There are different rules around our house when I’m on my own … to be accurate, it was my son and I who were on our own this weekend. Lily was away speaking at a women’s retreat.

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Before she left, she gave us some rules to live by while she was gone. But even as she shared her expectations with us, I knew that when the door shut, a whole different set of rules would kick in.

I listened to her directions and got some tips, like for meals she wanted us to eat the leftovers in the fridge and not spend money on food. However, I made it clear to Mike that the leftovers were for lunches and evening meals would be pizza and wings. … not together, mind you … pizza one night and then wings for the hockey game Saturday night.

I’m sure that as Lily tells us what we should eat, by now she realizes what will really happen. I think it is her eternal, optimistic, pie-in-the-sky hope that maybe we will actually follow her rules that forces her to tell us.

Along with the eating rules, the cleanliness rules go out the window as well. She knows better than to expect us to keep up to her standards. She only expects that when she returns the place will look like it did when she left. Whatever happens between then, she tries very hard not to think about.

Lily has this rule that is etched into her brain that she can’t leave the house or go to bed unless the dishes are all washed and the kitchen is clean. Mike and I don’t share the same etching in our melons! To go a day or two with a sink full of dishes is not a problem. I figure that’s why we bought a set of twelve dishes and not four.

My rule is if you leave it in the sink, put some hot water on it so that when you finally get to washing, the gunk will come off easily. It’s a good rule to follow and over the years it’s saved me a lot of time in the kitchen.

When the kids were little, keeping the place clean was more difficult. There were toys strewn all over that needed to be picked up. But now, it’s a cinch – we don’t make that much of a mess! There’s just a few clothes, crumbs, and clutter that needs to be cleaned and straightened before Lily shows up at the door.

And I know that just before she enters the house she starts imagining what it might look like. She hopes for cleanliness but braces herself for substandard neat and tidy. I know how her mind works. She played a tape in her head of what the house looked like during the weekend just to prepare herself for what she would find.

In the end, disappointment or satisfaction reigns in her, depending on whether she believes we made an effort or not.

Here’s the thing: God’s standard is perfection – something you and I can’t reach. But God has arranged it so we just have to be ready to meet Him when we die or Christ returns. God’s disappointment or satisfaction with us will be based on whether our faith is placed in Christ. And He will be able to tell if it is or not, depending on if we are seeking to please Christ or are not making any effort. Let’s all be ready.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you prepare for an inspection?  Leave your comment below.

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Embrace Your Difference

It’s amazing how different our bodies work. What’s good for one person may not be good for another.

Recently a friend sent my wife, Lily, a video clip and told her not to let me see it. Of course, Lily couldn’t help but show me the video.

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The video clip showed a lady who was 104 years old telling the interviewer that she drank three glasses of Dr. Pepper a day. She said, “It’s good; it has sugar in it.”

She also told the interviewer that two doctors had told her that drinking that much Dr. Pepper would kill her. But then she said, “Both doctor are dead and I’m still here.”

For this woman, she found an elixir that has kept her going for over 100 years. If I drank that many Dr. Peppers a day the only 100 I would count on would be the pounds I would gain in no time flat!

It’s curious that the same thing can have such drastic differences depending on the person.

Some people can eat fries, pizza, and chicken wings, and never have their cholesterol change one bit. However, if I just look at a picture of wings my cholesterol starts to rise.

Maybe that’s why I eat my wings while watching hockey games. I keep my eyes on the screen and never have to gaze at those delicious little morsels passing over my palette on their way to my arteries.

Our bodies also change over the years so what never was an issue, at some point becomes a problem for us.

In university Lily used to drink coffee by the bucketful. Now caffeine gives her headaches and keeps her awake at night.

When I was younger I could eat anything and in any amount. I might have felt stuffed at the time, but the next day, just like an anaconda that swallowed a rabbit whole, there was no sign any crime had been committed.

Now if I could just stick to eating salad without any dressing, I might be able to keep myself from gaining weight … of course that would still depend on averting my eyes from pictures of wings with Frank’s red hot sauce on them.

I’m happy for that lady who can drink three glasses of Dr. Pepper a day and live to 104, while keeping her school girl figure.

I would like to find the thing I could eat or drink without caution that would keep me going for years and years. My fear, however, is that what would work as my elixir would be brussels sprouts or something along those lines.

It’s not that I haven’t tried to find my elixir, but so far I’ve had to write off liquorice, Mike and Ike’s, and Turkish Delight. I’m still hopeful for dark chocolate with whole almonds.

Almonds are good for cholesterol, you know.

Here’s the thing: There are many voices that will try to tell you how to structure your time with God. When someone finds a way to have a rich and meaningful relationship with God, they believe everyone can have the same kind of relationship if they follow their pattern. There may be points and principles that we can pick up from others on how they spend their time with God, but for the most part, we need to seek a way that works specifically for us. We just don’t all respond to God, or find meaningful interaction with him, in the same way or setting. Find your way to a meaningful relationship with God.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you tried in establishing a rich, meaningful relationship with God? Leave your comment below.

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What’s Truly Amazing About Grace 

This is an edited re-post of a blog I published on May 26, 2012. Enjoy.

Let me give you a little insight into my world. Grace is big in a pastor’s life. Most people think pastors are official grace givers at any event.

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At dinner, about 98 percent of the time (a made up stat), people will look to the pastor to say grace.

At wedding receptions, banquets, barbecues, family gatherings, dinner out with friends, anywhere food is being served, probably the pastor will be asked to say grace.

Sometimes I can see the whole thing unfold.

Just before the meal the host will scan the room.  At this point, I can read their mind: they’re thinking, “Whom can I get to say grace?”

Then they spot me, their eyes get big, the expression on their face changes from concern to relief, a smile appears, and then the head nod that says, “ah yes, the pastor. Why didn’t I think of him before?” Then they make a b-line to me.

Actually, I count it an honour to say grace in public.  A few years ago my old high school celebrated its 50th anniversary (not that I was in high school 50 years ago).

I received a phone call asking if I was planning on attending, and if so, would I say grace at the gala dinner banquet.

Based on their knowledge of me in high school, they would never have asked me, but now that I’m a pastor, saying the grace was a perfect job for me.

There are some people who think the pastor has a corner on grace and not just saying it.  I’ve had many people ask me to put in a good word for them with the “Big Guy”.

There have been times where people have made a comment like, “well, you know, he has God on his side.” I could go on, but you get the idea: people think pastors are grace sayers and grace receivers.

One day after I’d had a heart attack a few years back a neighbour said to me, “You having a heart attack? You have to wonder about that.”

He said it as if he didn’t think bad things happened to pastors, or he was questioning what I did to get God mad at me, like maybe I didn’t have God’s grace on my life.

That bothered me because usually people see pastors as being on the good side of grace. I wanted to say, “Wait a minute!  The fact that I’m still here, standing and breathing is a sign I’m on the good side of grace.”

Grace is an amazing thing. It can be spoken as a thanks to God, it can be used as a name (I have a niece named Grace).  It can be given, as undeserved favour, and it can be withheld as punishment. Grace is pretty versatile.

Here’s the thing: The real amazing thing about grace is that we are ALL on the good side of it.  God sent Jesus, His only son, to us as an instrument of grace.  What we need to do is make sure we have received God’s grace by believing in Jesus and claiming him as Lord … and then, live out our days serving Him, knowing that nothing we have done, said, thought or contributed has any merit towards us being recipients of God’s grace. It is God’s unmerited favour on us.  That is truly amazing!

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What ways do you see the grace of God showing up in your life?  Leave a comment below.

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That Bundle Package May Not Be The Best Deal

Have you ever noticed how we like to collect things together? We bundle things together so we can pay one bill a month, or do several things at one place, or wait for one specific time.

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Communication companies give better deals if you take their bundle package (TV, internet and phone), instead of getting those services separately or from different companies.

Some lending institutions will advertise to have you bundle all your debt together into one loan.

Some large stores offer everything you could ever want under one roof. You can walk into a Walmart and get your groceries, clothes, have your car fixed, buy your electronics, and pretty much anything else you could think of.

I’m just waiting till they offer overnight packages to customers who would like to stay over in their leisure section in the display tents. You would never have to leave the store! It’s one-stop shopping to the extreme!

There is something about us that likes to bundle and gather things together into a nice, neat package. We like that concept: one stop to do it all.

There’s an expression, “saving it up” that usually comes with an ending. We might say “saving it up for the weekend”.

The rock group, Dire Straits, have a song with the line, “saving it up for Friday night”.

My question is what is he saving, what’s the “it”? In the song, apparently the rhythm guitarist doesn’t play his guitar all week; instead he saves playing it until Friday night.

Maybe when we say we’re saving it for the weekend, we mean that during the week we are going to be all work and no play. We’re saving our play time till the weekend.

I’m not sure if that’s what we think, but the truth is we do it, don’t we? Most people package their fun up for one or two days on the weekend.

We do that with special days, as well.

Yesterday was Mother’s Day … one day out of the year when we are nice to our mothers. We show special kindness to them. We treat them better than we do the rest of the year.

Kids make little crafty things, and try to make breakfast for Mom. In the end, however, it’s more mess for her to clean up.

We buy flowers for our mothers, take them out to dinner, or cook them a meal on the BBQ (Just think guys, if Mother’s Day was in February most of us would be hooped, trying to make a meal for our mother or wife without a BBQ.)

Moms make meals everyday. They do a myriad of things each day of the year for their families from counselling, to helping, making, chauffeuring.

Yet we bundle our thank you up into just one day a year. And don’t get me started about Father’s Day!

We’re good at bundling things together. It makes things more manageable, more neat and tidy, more cost effective. Happy Mother’s Day.

Here’s the thing: The Bible says God is always working. He does so much for us, day in day out; some things we don’t even realize. He sent his son Jesus to die on a cross to pay for our sins, and redeem us for himself. Yet many of us bundle our worship of Him into one day a week, Sunday. Consider unbundling your treatment of God. Instead spread your worship of Him out all week long. God really does deserve more of our time than an hour or so one day a week.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How have you bundled your worship of God? Leave a comment below.