experiences

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Why Anniversaries Are Special

Special days and anniversaries often come and go without giving them too much thought. There are, however, certain special days that are more special than others.

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Though every birthday is special, when someone turns 16 that’s extra special because they can obtain a driver’s license. At eighteen you are considered an adult and get to vote, so that’s special. Depending where you live, 19 or 21 is a special day for dubious reasons.

It seems that span of about five years is littered with extra special days. But after that, the special days like birthdays and anniversaries seem to come in 10 year periods like 30, 40, 50, et cetera.

Some people look forward to these special days; others pretend they didn’t happen.

It’s more likely that someone will want to hide the fact they have reached an age milestone, while being quite proud of reaching an anniversary achievement.

Yesterday I celebrated my 29th wedding anniversary with my wife, Lily. Twenty-nine is not one of those special anniversary dates – 30 is a big deal but 29 is just a run-of-the-mill anniversary.

It doesn’t even have a name or gift associated with it. I figured the gift for the 29th anniversary would be brunch at “Milestones” the restaurant.

It had to be something like that because I have to save up for next year’s anniversary which is “pearl”.

I had a great aunt named “Pearl” and it would’ve been nice to bring her over for tea or something on our 30th … she would be about 115 now. Auntie Pearl passed away 20 years ago so I can’t use her as my “pearl” gift to Lily on our 30th.

It’s a good thing I have a year to figure it out.

But getting back to this no-name 29th anniversary of ours. Though on the surface it doesn’t seem hardly worth getting a card to even acknowledge the day, it is in fact a very special anniversary to me.

On this day I have now been married for exactly half my life – the most recent half, I might add.

That’s significant. Think of all the years you grew up in your home with your family, and then all the years you hung out with friends and went to school, and the years you figured out what career you were going to go for.

Think of all the fun and hardships of the years you spend before you were married, the experiences and adventures, all the people, all the laughter, tears, worry.

Well, all of that, I’ve done all over again with Lily. It’s like I’ve lived life twice, once single and now a second time married.

So you see, my 29th anniversary is a special day. It should be called something, even at the very least, the “corrugated paper” anniversary.

Hey, that’s a great idea! I could get Lily a box, and I could fill the box with hope … hope that next year she’ll get a pearl on her anniversary.

Here’s the thing: Have you ever compared your life before Christ to the time you’ve spent with Him? The experiences, the adventures, the joys, laughter, tears and worry? Have you ever considered just how significant your life with Christ has been so far compared to your life before you knew Him? Take some time to reflect on that, and praise God for your relationship with Him.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What has been a particularly special date or memory you have had with Christ?  Leave your comment below.

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Why Having the Right Equipment is Necessary

Having the right equipment for a task makes it much more enjoyable. Having the wrong equipment or substandard equipment makes that task a hardship, even dangerous.

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This past week, seventy plus cyclists arrived at our church to stay overnight. They didn’t just drop by; it had been arranged for them to stop here.

I’ve been a mountain biker for some time, and I’ve been to events where I’ve seen all kinds of shapes and sizes of bikers. Some of them look like they ride their bikes all the time, while others, well, if you didn’t see them with their bikes, you wouldn’t think that they ever rode one!

This group was no different; there was a wide variety of people on this ride. But what did surprise me was the different shapes and sizes of the bicycles they were riding.

Some of the bikes were clearly road bikes made to ride long distances. But there were many bikes that I wouldn’t take farther than to the nearest convenience store and back!

A few bikes looked like they needed to be traded in for real ones, let alone be allowed to leave a city on a tour. I was impressed and humbled that some of those riding and raising money for the “Love in Motion” tour were doing it with great hardship.

The morning they left our church, one rider mentioned that her bike wouldn’t shift properly. I decided I would try it out, so I rode it around the parking lot … I wouldn’t take that bike on a two hour ride – certainly not a week-long trip or across the country!

Her shifters needed to be tuned, her handlebar grips needed replacing, and a brake pad was rubbing so badly that it was like she was riding with her front brake on all the time.

Fortunately, we were somewhat able to help her out before she left for the next leg of the journey.

These riders seemed to be oblivious to the fact that their equipment was less than ideal for the type of cycling they were doing. They just saddled up in the morning and got going again.

But I had watched them come in the day before, after a 167 kilometre ride from Cobourg to Kingston. The toll on the body, and even the mental state, was far greater on those with substandard bikes.

They were doing it. They were making it (which I thought was amazing), but it was a real hardship for them. I wondered what a difference a proper bike would make for some of these riders.

Here’s the thing:  We can get through life on our own. We can get by with just a minimum of faith in God. But at what cost will we make it through? … We will miss the fullness of what God has for us in this life. We will deal with hardships on our own that will create wounds and bitterness that will burden us the rest of the way. We will carry regrets and guilt with us that will rub against us and all those we come in contact with. Oh, we can get through life on our own; we can say we did it. But at what cost to us? Better that we submit our lives to God, walk in His ways and in His will, and be properly equipped to face the elements along the journey.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you attempted with wrong or inadequate equipment? How did it turn out?  You can leave your comment below.

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How To Live Simultaneously In Awe & Frustration

Can something be good and bad at the same time? Can you be completely frustrated and awed in the same breath? Is it okay to clench your fists in rage while gazing at something beautiful?

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Not only do I think the answer to these questions is “yes”, I know it’s “yes” because I just experienced it on the weekend.

As crazy as it sounds, it’s true.

It’s almost like that trick you do with a toddler or a baby: you distract them with something else and they stop crying. You know the child is crying because he scraped his knee, but you say “Oh look, a balloon!” The child’s attention is drawn to the balloon, he stops crying, and life is good again.

It works like a charm every time.

It doesn’t work as well with adults. You can distract them with something else, but they are not going to forget the pain (whatever type) they are in.

I played golf on a beautiful course this weekend. Six holes have been fashioned after famous golf holes from around the world. The fairways were like hitting off carpet; the greens were like bowling allies.

They even had a set of bunkers called church pews – I was tempted to try them out but I stayed away.

The day was beautiful, sunny, hot, with no wind. The course was lush, green, with dramatic undulating terrain. You wanted to take a picture at every hole. In fact, some guys in my group did take pictures as we went around.

But to contrast the startling grandeur of the course was the brutal ineptitude of my play. On the practice tees I was straight and long. On the course, I missed all but one of the fairways with carpet-like feel to them.

I was looking at a picture of magnificence at every turn, but in what I was doing there was no beauty at all.

So I would line up my putt on grass that seemed like it had been cut with my razor that very morning, but when I hit the ball I had no control of when it would stop rolling. And on every hole it kept rolling and rolling and rolling.

I was amazed by the course but I wanted to hit it at the same time. In fact, there were two occasions when I swung my club really hard at the ground after another missed green, while staring at a scene that looked so inviting I could have lived there.

During my round, I couldn’t decide which emotion should win: awe at the stunning splendour of the course or my total frustration with my game.

It seemed that for the longest time the two emotions were entwined together, stuck like a vine to a trellis.

In the end, I would not have traded my experience. It was a great day, despite the play.

Here’s the thing: We can be utterly amazed at what God has done in someone’s life or ministry.  We can marvel at results that occur that clearly point to God’s hand of mercy or power. But at the same time, we can be completely frustrated by the lack of results or answers in our own life or ministry. We live here in this contrast, and to truly embrace Christ is to give glory to God while at the same time pleading out our burdens before Him.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What has amazed you while frustrated you at the same time? Leave your comment below.

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Why Some Experiences Should Linger

There are experiences that we have that linger and others that don’t.

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At our cottage we have a firepit. It doesn’t get used much. In fact, for half of the summer we had our picnic table sitting over it. We don’t even keep a fresh supply of firewood. The wood we have in our bin is a few years old, although I understand that only makes it better for burning.

We only have fires when our kids are around or we have guests with kids. It seems like kids of all ages like to sit by a fire.

I don’t mind sitting by the fire, and at the time I rather enjoy it – unless I have a steady stream of smoke funnelling towards my eyes. I’m not the greatest fire maker, but I’m pretty good at making smoke!

Recently we had a double whammy. Our daughter was up with a friend AND we had friends with kids over who had just moved to the area. There was no getting out of a fire that night.

I was happy someone else made the fire. I just sat down and enjoyed it.

Well, I sort of enjoyed it. When I sat down the smoke was directed right at me, so I had to cover my eyes for the first few minutes. After that everyone else looked kind of blurry because my eyes were still watering.

That’s one reason I don’t like campfires. But the biggest reason I don’t like fires is because afterwards you smell like smoke. You can’t get away from the smell either.

You can change your clothes but your hair still smells smokey. And if you’re a hairy guy or gal, the smoke even hangs on those hairs on your arms and legs (not to mention your back)!

Even washing your hair doesn’t really do the trick. Somehow the fire smell clings on even through the strong scent of Irish Spring soap and Dove shampoo. You come out of the shower feeling clean except for that hint of fire when you turn your head quickly to the right (down wind).

However, there are things about campfires I do like. They’re a real good place to talk. Somehow the fire has this hypnotic effect on people where they stare into the fire and words tumble over their lips … Like that pre-op drug they give you so you can’t keep your mouth shut!

This happens in a greater degree for some than others. The more the coals glow and fire burns, the more of a calming, reflective effect the fire has on people.

In fact, sometimes nothing is said but you’re still communicating. It’s like suddenly you all have mental telepathy; you’ve crossed over to a higher state of consciousness … not really.

Hey, maybe someone should try to bottle this campfire effect! You know, just like they make potato chips with a Canadian maple bacon flavour (how does President’s Choice do that?).

Still, as great as it is, there’s that smell of smoke that lingers that you just can’t shake.

Here’s the thing:  Our time of prayer with God should be like a campfire. When you approach God there should be an easy flow of thoughts back and forth. And when you’re done, there should be a sense of that time lingering … Only you don’t want to wash that sense away; you want to bask in it.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How long does the smoke linger on you? You can leave your comment below.

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How To Listen To A Presentation 

As a giver of presentations, I’m not often on the listening end of them. So the other day in church, when I was listening to someone give the message, I found my mind going in lots of directions.

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It’s not easy to listen; it’s difficult to stay engaged with the speaker.

I noticed first off that the message was going to be about light. I knew that because, before the pastor got up to preach, they showed a video about Christ being the light of the world.

The video was good and I wanted to know more about this light show that he was going to talk about. I started looking at the lights on stage and thought it was cool how they could change colour.

But I also noticed how dark the auditorium was and thought they could throw a little more light on the platform.

At the beginning of the message, the pastor read the passage and I noticed it was particularly long and filled with a host of possible ideas. I began to wonder how he was going to handle this length of text.

I couldn’t help myself thinking that I would make this passage into a series and preach several sermons from it.

The preacher was doing pretty good – people laughed when he said something funny – but I started getting concerned that he wasn’t talking about light as much as other things.

I wanted him to come back to the light in two ways: I wanted him to step into the light – like a spotlight or something – so I could see him better, and I wanted him to tell me more about the impact of Christ being the light of the world.

I also started to wonder if this message was something that he got on the internet and was re-preaching or if it was something he wrote himself and really believed. I spent a little time trying to tell if he really owned his message.

My seat was at such an angle that I could see people sitting across the auditorium. I looked at them to see if they were listening, day dreaming, bored, or engaged in what he was saying.

I saw a few nods of the head and could tell they agreed with what was being said. But there was this one guy whose nodding looked more like a guy on a hot bus is trying to stay awake after a long day at work!

And while I was thinking about all that, I realized something similar happens to all the people who are listening to me preach every week. . . . It’s a tough job to give a presentation!

Here’s the thing: It’s easy to settle into a presentation and start thinking about all kinds of things related and unrelated to what is being said. It’s easy because you don’t have to apply it to yourself. You don’t have to think deeply and personally about the material. But the idea of a presentation is that it is for your personal benefit. It’s for you, your ministry, your work, or your personal development.

So, though all kinds of thoughts come to distract you, to keep you from applying the message, your job as a presentation listener is to focus on how it has a bearing on you. Keep three questions running through your mind while you listen: 1. What is true here for me? 2. God, what are you saying to me? 3. What am I now going to do with this?

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you stay focussed in a presentation? You can leave your comment below.

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When Silence Isn’t Golden

They say that silence is golden – at least I remember hearing that phrase in a song way back in the sixties. I’m not sure it’s true in every situation.

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In our world we are surrounded by so many sounds that having some peace and quiet can be a real treat for a change.

But there is always noise … It’s early morning as I’m writing this and though it’s peaceful and quiet, there is still the hum of the refrigerator that just came on a few seconds ago, and the tick tock of the battery-operated clock hanging on the wall just a few short feet from me.

Even if I went outside there are birds chirping, leaves rustling, or even the noise of cars travelling down a distant roadway.

There is always some noise, a voice of some kind that breaks our silence. And maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe complete silence would drive us crazy.

We’d be left alone with our thoughts.

I know that when I get in my car, the first thing I do after starting the car is hit the button on the radio to get some music. Some people just like to have noise, music, talking, whatever alway in the background – radio always on; TV on in another room.

Some people just talk . . . and they never stop. That’s good at times for a person like me who doesn’t have too much to say. Even if the person talking isn’t saying anything interesting, at least it serves as white noise to drown out the silence.

But there are times when I like it quiet. There are times I need it quiet. My mind works better when it’s not distracted by noise around me. I can think clearly, focus more singularly. Its golden.

Then other times silence isn’t golden. Like when you are talking and the person you are talking to isn’t responding.

I’ve had that happen to me on the phone. I was telling a friend important information and during my explanation we were cut off. I’m not sure how long I talked for before I realized there was no one even listening to me, but it was a weird feeling. I had to call back and start over.

There are times when I’ve talked to people who can’t talk back. People in the hospital, at times, are unable to respond or even indicate that they hear what you are saying to them. It’s hard to keep talking in those situations.

There are people who, when they get mad, get silent. And you can talk to them until you’re blue, but they don’t say anything in return. That’s got to be tough. It’s certainly not golden.

In these situations, silence doesn’t help or even solve anything. You really have to talk through them. What’s really golden is knowing when to talk and when to be silent.

Here’s the thing: There are times when we talk to God and it’s as though He isn’t listening.  There just seems to be no response from Him at all. You can plead, beg, even cry out in frustration but still nothing from God in return. At those silent times the temptation is to stop talking to God, to bury your thoughts, worries, frustrations, discouragements and leave God alone in silence.

But that doesn’t solve anything. We need to keep talking to God, keep bringing our thoughts, our needs or hopes to Him, for out of that silence, at some point, God will answer. And that will be golden.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How long have you gone in silence with God? Leave your comment below.

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How To Receive Unexpected Gifts

Sometimes you get something unexpected, something you had really wanted but didn’t think you’d get. That happened to me this week.

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One of the signs you’re a pro at the beach is how you get all your paraphernalia to it. We have about a seven minute walk to the lake so we take everything we’re going to need with us in one trip.

In the old days (that would be the days when our children were little), we had lots of stuff to carry.

There are people who park their cars at the beach, and make trips with their coolers, chairs, blankets, umbrellas etc. Then there are those who walk and take very little, like a blanket and a book.

We like to take enough to make us comfortable for a few hours. We’ve tried a few different options over the years, and finally settled on a wagon.

We loaded everything in a big wagon and hauled it down and back each time. It worked really well, except for the person who had to pull it back from the beach (up hill all the way).

However, in the last few years we haven’t really needed the wagon but we have more beach stuff than is easily carried. We needed something in-between.

What we’ve seen work well are those baby trailers you hook up to your bike. If you’re not using them for child transportation, they work great as a wee moving van.

The problem with them is they cost loads of money – enough that it is hard to justify getting one just to take your stuff down to the beach and back.

My brother’s been looking for a used one for a couple of years now. Once he thought he found one at a garage sale but it looked broken so he didn’t bother to get it.

Just minutes later someone else bought it and it actually worked fine. John’s been kicking himself ever since for not investigating it more thoroughly.

But the other week he came across one, and the owner said he could have it – for free! It was just missing one piece, which John ordered online … it was good to go in a week.

And then the other day, John came over to my place with his trailer hooked up to his bike with all his beach stuff in it. It was sitting in our driveway when the guy across the street came over.

He asked if I also wanted a trailer because his son had one they were just going to give away. I jumped at the chance!

It was in great shape, and hooked up to my bike easily. I was now a beach pro! When you ride down to the beach with your little trailer filled with your chairs, your beach umbrella, your drinks, snacks and games, people know you’re experienced . . . that you’ve been beached.

Someday, maybe – many years from now – we may even let a grandchild or two get pulled to the beach in it.

Here’s the thing:  God sometimes surprises us with good gifts we never expected to get. When He does, be quick to recognize the source of the gift, and be thankful.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you received unexpectedly that was from the hand of God? I’d like to hear from you; you can leave a comment below.

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Why You Can’t Practice Your Faith Alone

There are things we were not meant to do alone. In fact, I would say we were created to do certain things together with others.

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Normally, my wife, Lily, and I attend a particular church while on vacation. But this weekend Lily was visiting our daughter, and the church we attend was having a farewell service for their pastor. So I decided I would not attend.

Instead, I streamed a service over the internet. I’ve never done that before because I’m usually preaching a sermon myself. I thought I would see what it was like.

The church I chose is a large church with several thousands in attendance. They also have satellite churches (nineteen of them) in other locations that have live worship music but simulcast the message on a screen.

I’ve attended conferences like this where you watch the speaker on a big screen. Since they want you to interact as if the speaker was there, they encourage you to clap when it’s appropriate, laugh out loud when he tells a joke … that kind of thing.

Basically, they want you to do the opposite of what you do at the movies yet while you’re watching a movie of someone speaking.

It goes against our natural or trained tendency of being silent and just watching the screen.

But this concept reminds me of the 1970’s film “Rocky Horror Picture Show”. I don’t recommend the movie, nor have I seen it myself.

The movie didn’t do well at the box office, but it has become a hugely popular midnight film. People show up dressed in the costumes of the characters, talk back to the screen at appropriate places, act out parts, and even throw toast and rice when applicable.

It’s extremely interactive.

Now I’m not saying that people should throw toast at the stage when they watch a preacher on a screen but there is something to say about the interactivity at church simulcasts.

It’s like watching a recording of a concert at home on your TV as opposed to being at the live event in the arena. You don’t get the interaction of the audience, and you miss the full value of the light show, the bigger than life stage, the whole sights, sounds and smells of the experience.

There is something about being there in person that you just can’t create on a screen.

As far as streaming a service to your computer goes, unless you’re with a group of friends, I don’t recommend it. Even watching the worship is less than exciting, and that’s with having the words to the songs on the screen.

It was a good message but the experience left me with no one to talk to about it; no one else experienced it with me. I was alone with my thoughts.

When it was over I felt … that’s it? Nothing else? Not even a coffee station in the foyer?

It’s always better live and in person.

Here’s the thing: You and I were not created to have a private faith experience with God. We can’t fully experience a relationship with God without others. We were created to interact with God as we engage and participate with others in worship, growth and service to our Maker.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How have you sensed a need to practice your faith with others? You can leave your comment below.

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What Kind of Waiting Do You Practice?

This morning I’m sitting on my new deck with my new “conversation set” of outdoor furniture, waiting for the sun to fully come up.

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As we were finishing our work on the deck last week, I got the vision of a sitting area where we could be comfortable, like in our living room, but outside.

The problem with this furniture is that it is big and we only have a small car. Enter my brother and his SUV.

I did some calculations on the size of the furniture and the size of the back of his SUV and I figured we could get it all in.

I’m kind of getting used to borrowing vehicles to pick up large items. The other day I had to borrow a friend’s pick up truck to get three sheets of lattice and a 12’ piece of 2X6.

I remember the days of independence when I owned a mini van and could haul just about anything in that. Well it’s a new day and I need my friends now more than ever.

We made the twenty minute trek into the big city with John’s SUV and waited forever for the guy in the Canadian Tire warehouse to confirm they had all the pieces to the set.

It took so long that I imagined they had the chairs stored in one place, the ottoman and love seat somewhere else, and the cushions … well, they must have been stored in random spots throughout the warehouse.

I’m sure the guys in the back didn’t really want to give them up. They probably came in handy in remote sections of the warehouse for some part time employee to catch a few winks before his shift was over.

Well, about twenty minutes later, they had finally gotten all the furniture together in one place. We paid and headed around the back to the warehouse to pick up our load.

It didn’t take long (like about a minute) to realize that my calculations on the size of the furniture and the space in the vehicle was off. This stuff was not going to fit in easily.

About another twenty minutes later, after struggling with and rearranging the furniture several times, we finally got it in to the point where the back of the SUV was mostly closed.

There was no rope or twine to be found in the warehouse but they had some plastic string-like substance that we kind of doubted would work … but amazingly it held up very well for the last twenty minutes of our adventure back to the cottage.

It only took about five minutes to unload and set up the furniture … and it will take the next ten years or so to fully enjoy our new outdoor living furniture.

Here’s the thing: When I think of my experience purchasing this furniture, I think of how impatient I am with God and my requests. I don’t really like the twenty minute waits (figuratively speaking) here and there. I want my answers right now. I want to place my order with God like I would at Canadian Tire or McDonald’s and have my order answered in about the time it takes to process my debit card. But God isn’t a McDonald’s employee and He doesn’t take orders from us. Our attitude in prayer should be one of respect and patiently waiting. If God chooses to grant us our request we will have years to enjoy it.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How have you had to learn patience when seeking a request from God? I’d like to hear from you; you can leave your comment below.

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When Your Vacation Becomes Work

I’m used to a vacation where I spend a lot of time relaxing at the beach under an umbrella or dodging the waves in the water. That’s why this vacation seems to be more like work.

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Hey, who am I kidding? – it is work! We’ve been working on our deck at the cottage for about four days now. We haven’t put a foot on the beach yet, though we looked at it from the window of a restaurant we had dinner in one night.

We haven’t gone for walks down to the beach or walks along the beach. We haven’t even broken out the beach umbrella yet.

It’s been work, work work, scrubbing, scraping, washing, building. For some people who like projects that might sound like fun. But when you fall into bed each night exhausted, with muscles aching, back breaking, it takes just a little of the fun out of it. It’s work!

… We’re done now and the beach is calling.

We’ve had good weather so far – that is, we’ve had good working weather – a good deal of sun but a gentle, cool breeze to keep you moving and not overwhelmed by heat.

Now we need some hot – REAL hot – humid weather to draw me down to the lake like a magnet to a fridge … unless you have one of those stainless steel fridges … but you get what I mean.

Don’t get me wrong, the deck looks great, but I came here for a vacation, not work.

I want to go a day without a drill in my hand or a compound miter saw next to my wife. She does all the cutting, by the way …

Many years ago, I had a couple of incidents of cutting my finger: once with a really toothy saw for about seven stitches, and once with an utility knife for about four stitches. After that the family started taking sharp instruments away from me. I had to prove I would be safe using standard cutlery for a while after that.

I just told that story to my neighbour who wondered why Lily was doing all the sawing. I explained that it’s her mitre saw; I bought it for her.

But hey, let’s get back to the beach! I’m thinking that a nice patch of silky sand will do. I’ll throw up the umbrella by the shore, maybe even sip a little Dr. Pepper. I’ve got a book I’ve been wanting to read and that’s a perfect spot to crack it open on my iPad.

Here’s the thing: Your relationship with God should not seem like work. It’s a relationship not a job. So if you find it work to keep up with God, in terms of time spent with Him or service you do for Him, you need to change things up. You need to focus on making your relationship with God more relational. It might be as simple as how you talk to Him, and what you talk about. That’s where I would start.

That’s Life!

Paul