experiences

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Final Goodbye To A Dear Friend

Yesterday I heard of the passing of a good friend and colleague, Ian Ross. Well, he wasn’t a colleague in the strict sense of the word, but he definitely was a partner in ministry.

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My introduction to Ian came 30 years ago. I had just been hired as the youth pastor at the church he attended, Beulah Alliance Church in Edmonton.

Along with a youth group, I inherited several volunteer youth leaders. Ian and his wife, Audrey, were two of them. At first we spent time getting to know each other, which consisted of mostly hanging out at restaurants after Friday night activities.

We got along amazingly. Ian and Audrey had a love for the students in the youth group like nobody else. It’s rare to find commitment on a volunteer level like these two had.

The most startling thing about our relationship, and their ministry with teens, was that they had already raised their family and their youngest child was just graduating out of the youth group.

These two relics in terms of youth ministry were only a handful of years younger than my parents – and I was 29 at the time.

Over the years I found Ian to be a quiet mentor. What I mean is he wasn’t pushy. He listened, observed and when he thought I needed some advice … well, I was all ears.

He was like that with the teens. He participated in everything the students did; they loved him and listened to him when he had a word for them.

We did some crazy things together over the eleven years I was in that church: staying up all night with the group when we had all-nighters, taking kids to the hospital when we went tubing, setting up the gym or the whole church for big events.

He got roped into all kinds of stunts, skits, and situations that most people his age would have had nothing to do with.

Ian, however, just rolled with it all. The thing that Ian did best, and did the most, was hang out with our teens, and interact with them. He encouraged them, teased them, instructed them, impressed upon them, teased them (did I say that already?).

He befriended them.

There is not a student who went through that church who didn’t like Ian, who didn’t respect Ian, who didn’t learn something from Ian … well, maybe Kurt … That one night cost Ian a couple of years, I think. At any rate, he was greyer, if you can get greyer when you already have completely grey hair.

For me, Ian was a mentor, a partner, a friend – oh, and a golfing buddy. I have only seen him a few times in the last 19 years but I’ve never felt that we were far from each other.

Ian was one of those friends you could pick up with like you saw him yesterday, even when it had been more like 10 years.

My heart is saddened that he is not here, so I will just look forward to when I see him again in heaven.

Here’s the thing: We don’t find a lot of Ian Rosses in the world. But God uses people like him. And I would challenge you, if you knew Ian, or know someone like Ian, to decide today that you will seek to make your life count for God like Ian Ross made his life count. Our world, our churches need more people like the Rosses leaving their fingerprints on everything and everyone they touch.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: Who has been a mentor in your life? Leave your comment below.

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Making The Most Of A Bad Thing

My wife, Lily, is always looking for things the two of us can do in our city. This past weekend we had some visitors staying with us and, to be helpful, she checked to see what special events were happening in case they needed something to do.

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Honestly, I think she was researching what was happening in the city to come up with plan for the two of us to do together. And, you guessed it, she found an event that was happening downtown all Sunday afternoon.

Usually I like to watch a little NFL football through my eyelids on Sunday afternoons, but this time I felt the need to give in to her scheme.

We headed downtown right after lunch. It couldn’t have been a better day for an outside activity – warm and the sun was shining.

The event was called “Streets Alive”, put on by the City of Kingston. You would figure that the city would have all the resources to put on a top-notch event.

In this case something must have gone seriously wrong. Not one person, but a whole team of people, must have missed their assignments to create this flop!

They had blocked off a city street for about one kilometre, turning it into a huge sidewalk. However, when Lily and I were strolling down the middle of the street we were pretty much the only ones on the road.

We had puzzled looks on our faces for most of the walk. At intersections there were officials to ensure no cars came onto the street. We asked one guy what was supposed to be happening and he admitted he didn’t really know much. He was just manning the barricade.

The street ended at a park with a sign at the entrance posting a long list of booths spread throughout the park. Unfortunately, we couldn’t see more than a few.

There were four food vending trucks which was one more than the number of booths that we saw.

We turned around and walked back … passing a few other people walking the street with similar puzzled looks on their faces.

The event was called “Streets Alive” but from what I could tell, it was more like “Streets Dead”.

I think I have an idea of what they were trying to do. Every year in the fall the city produces a magazine that lists all the various community opportunities, clubs and classes one can take part in. I think they were trying to do a live version of that magazine.

The only problem was the clubs, classes and organizations didn’t get the memo to set up booths, and most people would rather open a magazine rather than walk down a deserted street to a park with a fries truck and a fortune telling booth.

It wasn’t all bad, however. Lily’s scheme got us out of the house, doing something together, and I got some raspberry gelato. I think next year though we’ll pass on the “Streets Alive.”

Here’s the thing: Often we put the onus on the organizers of an event, thinking they better put on a great event or we’ll be let down and have a right to complain. We do that with church, too. Sometimes we don’t like the music or feel the sermon wasn’t good. But I believe if you are seeking to connect with God at church, He will draw you into any worship music and He doesn’t need a straight stick to strike your heart.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you make the most of a bad thing? Leave your comment below.

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The Dilemma Of Making A Decision

I’m a little torn this morning. I have a day off and my dilemma today is, “Do I go for a bike ride or play hockey?”

It’s that time of season where I can choose. In a couple of months there will be no choice; it will be hockey or nothing. But today the sun is shining and it’s still warm outside.

That gets me in the mood for a good bike ride and I haven’t ridden in over a week.

But on the other hand, pick-up hockey has started and it’s been a long time since April when I last laced up the skates. I’m kind of excited to get back at it for another season.

On the one hand, there will be fewer and fewer opportunities to hit the trails on my mountain bike. The weather will start to be more unpredictable, and the shortened daylight will make it harder to get in a ride before it’s dark.

So I should really get out there and enjoy the trails while I can, before it’s too late and my bike gets packed away for the winter.

On the other hand, there is something about arriving at the arena in shorts and sandals, and the contrast of the cold temperature inside and the warmth of the sun outside.

It’s a tough decision to make on your day off when you just want to chill and do something fun. Having to make a choice makes it a little like work and less like fun.

You know, I probably have the time to do both today if I really want to. Though, I think I would get a little bit of objection from Lily, who would like to spend some time with me today.

If this was a work decision that I had to make, I would probably be praying about it. I might be conferring with a few other people to get their input. I would certainly make a list of pros and cons for each decision.

I might catch a cold playing hockey going between the extreme temperatures. Or I could get a flat tire in the middle of the bush and have to walk my bike out. I have to play hockey at a certain time, but I can go biking whenever it fits best with my agenda today.

The bottom line, however, is I’m going to get sweaty no matter what I do. It will also take about the same amount of time whichever activity I choose.

I have to get off the couch and out of the house regardless of the type of exercise I decide to put my body through.

And I win no matter what I end up giving myself to.

Wow, I still don’t know what I’m going to do today. All I know is I better make a decision before the decision is taken away from me.

… If I wait too long one option will be off the table.

Here’s the thing: Making a decision for God is important, because then God will work with you, steer you, guide and direct you. But if you delay too long in making your decision, there might come a time when the option to decide is off the table.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question:  What have you had a difficult time deciding on in the last three months? Leave your comment below.

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Politics and Influence

Politics is dominating the news these days and there is no shortage of influencers out there. During election campaigns all the parties and all the candidates hope we will be influenced to vote for them.

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Influencers try to sway us to vote one way, rather than another. But what I find is that many of them are simply preying on our emotions.

The media is the biggest influencer and, though their mandate might be to report the news, they are all about emotionally influencing the population either toward or away from candidates.

It’s not the news they report so much as it is their presentation of the news they are focussed on giving us.

But this past week there were a couple of other influencers that caught my attention. Toronto was in the middle of TIFF (Toronto International Film Festival), and the stars were out to promote their movies.

Donald Sutherland and his son Kiefer were there, proudly proclaiming their love for Canada and their film. We consider them both great Canadian actors, so when they speak they have a platform. People listen; they influence.

But they are actors and actors give interviews, sound bites and quick comments.

Donald was asked about the election and he fervently criticized Stephen Harper and his government, saying he’s got to go. His main focus was on the arts, support and funding.

It’s a narrow focus he used to influence the million or so people who watched the impromptu fifteen seconds of passion and authority. But I’m sure he influenced a number of people.

Then later in the week, Wayne Gretzky – our Canadian hockey icon – was with Prime Minister Harper. He also was interviewed briefly and shared his thoughts about how great a leader Harper is and how well he has lead our country through economic uncertainty.

Like Sutherland, Gretzky has influence because he is famous and admired by many. But many of the people who will be influenced by what the “Great One” had to say, will be so on an emotional level. … They admire Gretzky, and if he likes the prime minister, that’s good enough for them.

We are being influenced emotionally to make decisions that should be based on thought, fact and reason.

We are being influenced to take the easy way out and make our decision based on what the news reporters say, or a celebrity dishes out.

The more we listen to the influencers, with their quick little comments, quips, outbursts, and passionate pleas, the more we short circuit the work we should be doing to really determine who we will vote for.

To be honest, I don’t share the same passion or perspective as many of the influencers out there, so why should I get emotionally charged by them in making my decision?

Here’s the thing: We are influenced the same way to response to God. We hear something, or someone we respect holds a particular view and we believe it too. Influencers move us emotionally but they should move us to seek out answers for ourselves and not just take their word. Influencers should motivate us to search the Bible for answers, spend time with God in counsel, contemplate the research of real experts (commentaries) so that we are influenced on more than just an emotional level. We shouldn’t parrot the sound bites of others; we should know God’s heart and follow Him.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you taken from someone else that you should investigate for yourself? Leave your comment below.

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The Weather Conditions In My Home Are Changing

We are starting to enter the in-between season and it’s an appropriate time to deal with temperature change.

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I have been told that this year we may be a month behind in our weather. Because of our slow start in the spring, we got June weather in July and July weather in August.

That means September should be more like August … that’s out of the norm.

Though the temperature outside is changing, that’s not really the temperature change I am writing about.

I have to tell you that the temperature inside our home doesn’t hold to conventional, seasonal measurements either.

Here’s my problem: my wife likes the heat; she likes the heat outside and she is happy if it’s hot inside as well. So I come home from work on a sweltering summer day, and enter our house through the garage which is even 15 degrees warmer than outside. I’ve gone from hot to hotter.

Then I come into the house to the cool, refreshing air conditioned air – no, that’s not what happens. I come into the house that is just a few degrees cooler than my garage was!

I look at the thermostat to see if there is something wrong with our air conditioner, only to find that my dear wife has set the temperature to 25 degrees. When we add in the humidity, it’s probably closer to 30 in the house.

By next year our hardwood floors will probably be curling up.

I turn the thermostat down to 21 degrees because that apparently is the perfect temperature – at least, that’s what I’ve heard. There is a company called 21 Degrees Heating and Cooling and their motto is “Everybody is happy at 21 degrees”.

I want to be happy. I want the temp in our home to be 21 degrees.

After making the adjustment to the thermostat, an hour later it’s back up to 25 … she’s sneaky.

Sleeping is very uncomfortable, and Lil will admit it too, but it doesn’t convince her to lower the thermostat.

Now this is the thing I can’t understand, the thing that doesn’t make sense to me. And if anyone can help me with an answer that I can comprehend, I would be greatly indebted …

In the winter months, she doesn’t keep the thermostat at 25, or even at the perfect temperature of 21 degrees. In the winter, she keeps it at 20 and at night she lowers it to 17 degrees!!

In the winter I’m afraid to get out of bed for fear of frostbite.

What I don’t understand is, if you like it cool at night, why not make it cool at night all year round? I like to sleep in the summer just as much as I do in the winter months.

Here’s the thing: Temperature may not be conventional in my house, but it has the same beginning letters as temptation and temptation isn’t conventional either. As the apostle Paul said so well, “I do what I don’t want to do and I don’t do what I want to do.”

I don’t have a definitive answer for my house temperature other than standing guard at the thermostat to be sure it’s set at the right degree. And for temptation, we must be as vigilant in standing guard to turn it down when it starts to rise.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: When do you find you have the hardest time with temptation? Leave your comment below.

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The Real Winner At Ribfest

Last weekend my wife, Lily, and I went to the ribfest in town. Anything with ribs in the title grabs my attention, so we go every time the tour stops in Kingston.

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If you’ve never been to one, you’re probably not much of a meat lover.

The main show is the huge structures that advertise each of the different rib venders all in a row.

It’s a friendly competition of who has the best ribs. Each vender has a table full of trophies, and their signage tells the story of which cities think they’re the best.

The ribs are good, but it really comes down to the sauce. We tried ribs from two different booths:

“Crabby’s” and “Smokehouse” and the difference was their own special sauces they put on their ribs.

Each vender hopes you will try their ribs and give them the best rating. They are looking for another trophy and more advertising they can put on their massive signs.

We’ve been for the last three years – the first two years involved a significant amount of rain which kept the crowds down and the atmosphere something less than electric.

This year it was sunny, warm and the place was hopping. Crowds covered the open field; it was tough to get a seat at a table.

But I have to say that, though all the signs and attention were focussed on ribs, they should really call it the onionfest.

In fact, I bet that’s what the “Colossal Onion” mobile fryer owner calls the festival – secretly that is … at the end of the night, by the warm glow of his fryer, as he counts his money.

While all the attention is focussed on ribs, the guy who has the biggest profit margin is the onion truck owner.

Unlike the rib venders who just sold you a half rack of ribs for $13 and a full rack for $23, the onion guy sold a blooming onion, onion rings and spiral fries each for the cost of $10.

I think the ten bucks was mostly to make it easy for the gentleman who was taking the money. This way, if the bill was purple, he just kept it and if it was green, well, he had to give one of those purple bills back to the customer.

The thing was the line up at the Colossal Onion was longer than any of the rib vender lines. People just kept getting in line to eat something alongside their ribs.

So you paid thirteen dollars for a half rack of ribs, and ten dollars to get a deep fried onion. The way I figure it, meat these days is costing a little bit more than what farmers are charging for the onions growing in their fields.

That means the onion guy is rubbing his hands in money … cha-ching!

It was all good though; we had a great time, and we’ll be back next year for onionfest, I mean ribfest 2016.

Here’s the thing: Some parts of life shine brighter than other parts. We get drawn in to the parts of life that are attractive and attracting. But there are parts of life that are more valuable – more valuable in some cases than the parts that shine. Don’t get sucked into living for what shines bright. Seek out what is most valuable and be sure you spend your time there.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you consider most valuable in your life? Leave your comment below.

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Take a Mini Break To Recharge Your Batteries

It’s amazing what a mini break will do for you. Recently, we took the opportunity to get away for a couple of days and it turned out to be just what we needed.

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I wouldn’t say that all short getaways are relaxing and rejuvenating. In some situations they can add to the hurried pace we already live at.

When you take a weekend and go somewhere new, you usually don’t end up changing your pace of life that much. Thus you don’t experience the rest you need to recharge your batteries.

Don’t get me wrong, those kind of getaways are nice. They say that sometimes a change is as good as a rest. But when you get back to work and the regular schedule you keep, you still feel like you could have used a breather.

The reason is, when you go somewhere new, there is the urge to see or do that something new.

So by the time you get back home, you feel like you’ve been in a bit of a whirlwind, like it was great and all but you feel exhausted, tired, or hurried.

However, when you go somewhere familiar, some spot that is yours, there is a comfort in that place that puts you at ease, encourages you to relax.

We had two days – less than 48 hours – at our cottage, but as soon as we got there we were in chill mode. There was nothing to check out, nothing that was unexpected, no arrangements that needed to be made once we got there.

It was like coming home and, much like the way you feel after being on an extended vacation, it always feels good to get back home. Well, it felt good to be at the cottage again.

There was nothing to set up, no pressure, everything was familiar. We didn’t have to unwind; just being there unwound us.

We got up when we wanted to, no checkout time, no appointments to keep … except the self-imposed meeting with the beach. There was nothing hurried or pressing, just life in “slow mo”.

It’s like when they show you a highlight on Sports Centre in regular speed – it looks amazing. But when you see it in slow mo, then you see details you missed in regular speed.

That’s what it’s like to take a mini break somewhere that’s familiar. You enjoy the little details, the colours in the yard, the conversations around the fire pit, the quietness on the deck, the sound of the waves.

In a very short amount of time, the dial gets turned down and your muscles start to relax. Your heart beats a little slower and you feel like you’ve had a rest.

Here’s the thing: Life can get you all twisted up, all tied in knots, and spiritually you can feel disconnected or distant from God, making your Christian life a drudgery. The best way to get things back on track is to take a mini break with God. He and His Word are what’s familiar. But then do something out of the ordinary: spend a little extra time with Him, ask yourself new questions about the text, spend some time quietly listening to Him, change the location of where you meet with Him. Whatever time you spend with Him, make it a little extra. You’ll feel rested and rejuvenated if you do.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: Where could you go to take a mini spiritual break this week? Leave your comment below.

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Going The Extra Mile

This last week my daughter was in town. Well, her car was in town. She was on a road trip with her mom.

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It was mother and daughter to Montreal for work and sightseeing. What I got out of the deal was the house to myself for a couple of days and Karlie’s car.

It wasn’t a bad trade off, her car for mine. Though her car is about six years older than ours, it had all the necessities needed to get around town.

However, there were a couple of things that were lacking or at least a little inconvenient, like no roof rack for my bike, so biking was out of the question. The trunk was pretty small and I could barely get my golf clubs and cart in it.

Then there was this squealing sound that announced itself when you turned on the air conditioning, and every time you stepped on the gas after stopping at a light.

Other than that, it was enjoyable to drive. … I guess I should say it was enjoyable until I had to do a highway trip.

I noticed the car would lose power for several seconds as I drove. It was strange and I didn’t know why. The worst thing about it was I knew Karlie was going to be driving back to Toronto later that day.

Something that I might wait a day or two to check out if it was my car, became an emergency because it was my daughter’s car.

I didn’t like the thought that she would be driving alone at night, for two and a half hours to get back home.

My mind started to produce scenarios like, “What if the car died on the way?” I sure didn’t want her being stranded on the highway in the middle of nowhere!

So I gave up a golf game I had arranged earlier in the day to make sure her car was working.

I called up my mechanic in the middle of the afternoon and pled my case that my daughter had to drive back home that night.

I knew he had daughters around the same age as Karlie, and I knew he was a sucker to do anything for them when they needed help. So I hoped those emotions would kick in when he heard my case.

Sure enough, he said, “How fast can you get it in?”

I answered, “I’m on my way now.”

You know if it had have been my car that was acting up and I had a golf game to go to, I would’ve dragged that car to the course and hoped I could get home later.

And if I had to take the car in first, I’d have been very upset about missing my game with the guys.

But for some reason, I felt I needed to take care of this issue. I didn’t mind missing something of mine in order to ensure my daughter could drive safely home.

Here’s the thing: I would do anything for my daughter or my son when they need me. And I don’t consider it a hardship. God has chosen to use us to do His work on earth. So what lengths do you go to to help Him in the work He is doing? Have that same attitude toward serving God as you would helping out your children or loved ones. Consider serving as a privilege and responsibility; be in it all the way.

That”s Life!

Paul

Question: What work is God doing that you could join Him in? Leave your comment below.

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What Golf Can Teach Us About Handling Pressure

This week my son treated me to a game of golf – not the usual game; we actually attended a PGA Tour Canada event.

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I walked the course and never swung a club. We were watching young professional golfers who hope to one day make the big tour.

Instead of playing for million dollar prize money, these guys were hoping to take home $31,000 if they won … still not a bad paycheque for a week’s work!

A week of work playing golf on a beautiful, well-manicured course – I think I could get used to that.

We ended up following one of the Canadians in the tournament for the back nine. When we picked him up, he was about 17 under par.

I kind of thought the reason these guys were playing on this tour, and not the US tour, was because they couldn’t shoot low enough scores. But these kids could rip up courses just like the guys who are making ten times what they make in a year.

I discovered the difference between the two tours as we got closer to the 18th hole.

The guy we were following was hot; we saw him make birdies on three of his next four holes.  We kind of thought we might be watching the eventual winner.

He seemed like he was cruising, his shots were right on, he was hitting the ball long. He looked calm and confident as he made his way around the track.

But then we got to the 14th hole. He missed a 4-footer that would have got him to 21 under.

Not a big deal. However, on the next hole his tee shot took an unlucky bounce that left him with a tough second shot.

Immediately you could tell his confidence was not what it was. He still made par, but he was scrambling for it now.

For the next two holes you could see that the pressure was getting to him. He was gripping the club a little tighter and not making the shots as precisely as before.

It all came down to the last hole. We figured our guy was tied for the lead or one shot back. He needed to score a 3 on the par 5 to have a chance to win.

When the pressure is on, it’s difficult to step back and calm yourself down, to block all the voices in your head and hit the shot you want. … He didn’t hit a great shot.

He put his second shot in a sand trap behind the green. Then he imploded. He took three putts to get the ball in the hole – a bogey 6.

In the end, he went from potential winner to outright second place finisher, to ending up settling for a six-way tie for second.

Maybe one of the reasons these guys aren’t on the big tour is the mental game. They can hit the ball and putt, but when the pressure is on, they sometimes fold.

Here’s the thing: Living the Christian life can be similar to these golfers. We can be cruising along in our lives, but when the pressure comes, that’s when we need to be real pros and be able to live strong in the faith.

Prepare yourself in advance to deal with the pressure. Know God’s Word, meet with Him regularly, plan how you will respond to certain scenarios so you can whether the storm of pressure and come out victorious.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What potential circumstance could you make a plan for in advance? Leave your comment below.

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Memories … Old, Faded Memories

Memory is a very powerful thing. It can access long stored information in an instance.

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Last week my wife, Lily, and I were in Toronto celebrating our wedding anniversary. We checked into our hotel, and when we got to our room, we found it overlooked City Hall.

Our vantage from the 33rd floor allowed us to survey a large portion of real estate below.

As we gazed out the window, my eyes gravitated to a spot just behind City Hall. From what I could see, it looked very different than I remembered.

“See that street down there?” I said to Lily. “I think it’s Elizabeth Street. When I was a kid we would eat there at the Nanking Restaurant on Saturday nights.”

It was the first restaurant I ever ate in. I believe I was just a month or two old when my parents took me for my first Chinese dinner.

I’m sure I didn’t taste a delicious egg roll directly, but I definitely got it second hand.

Lily wanted to go down to the street and take a picture of the huge “TORONTO” sign that was a remnant of the Pan Am Games held there just a month ago.

After we got down to street level and Lily had her picture taken sitting in the “O” of “TORONTO”, I kind of wanted to see if I was correct on that street I spied from our hotel window.

We walked around to the back of City Hall and sure enough, it was Elizabeth Street. When my family started eating at the Nanking, City Hall wasn’t even there. But now everything has completely changed.

The Nanking wasn’t there and it seemed like there was no trace of anything that I remembered. There was no Lichee Gardens on the other side of the street – just all new buildings.

But I wondered about the building where the Nanking was. It looked different. It was a government office now … the department of environment or something.

I was trying to figure out if it was the same building, but Lily thought the outside looked too new to be 60 plus years old.

I was still curious. I walked through one of the doorways, and my memory was pricked; it was foreign yet there was something that seemed to fit.

I motioned to Lily, “I’m not so sure this is a new building. I think the entrance was here and you could either go to the right into a smaller lounge or to the left into the large dining room” … which probably wasn’t as large as I remembered as a child.

Lil didn’t think I was right. There was a stucco kind of treatment on the building that gave it a 70’s look.

But as we walked past, down the side street, and turned to look at the back of the building, sure enough you could tell by the back, where there was no updated exterior facade, that this building was old.

Just as I remembered! I hadn’t accessed that information in years, hadn’t been on that street for 45 years, yet I could recall it all. Amazing memories we have!

Here’s the thing: Your memory of how God has worked in your life can encourage you, give you hope that He will continue – even give you determination. But don’t rest on just those memories, only use them to fuel knew adventures with God. Don’t get stuck in the past.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What past memory has kept you from moving forward? Leave your comment below.