devotions

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Embarrassment Can Last Forever

I’m sure everyone, at some point, has wanted to kick themselves for something they did or said.  For many of us, this happens rather frequently … too frequently for my liking.

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I remember entering a Sunday School class when I was in my teens and making a snide remark about the teacher, thinking he wasn’t there yet … only to hear the teacher respond. At that moment, I wanted to take my words back.

As I recall, I didn’t remain in the class for the whole lesson that Sunday.

Then there was the time I was with a bunch of friends on a bus and I saw a man burning leaves on his front lawn. I yelled some comment out to the man which, in the moment, I thought was quite witty.

But all my friends thought it was lame – I mean really lame! I was pretty embarrassed at that moment, and every once in a while, even 40 years later, I still feel like kicking myself for making that comment.

The times we stick our foot in our mouth – or do something so dumb that the actors of “Dumb and Dumber 2” would be embarrassed for us – stay with us and its hard to forget them.

But the worst are the times we say or do things that hurt someone else. Those are the worst because it’s about more than just being mortified or humiliated; you’ve caused someone pain as a result.

By the time you’re in your 50’s, you’d think those days would be over. When the person is a loved one, like a daughter, you’d think this couldn’t happen.

But it did happen with me the other day. I was in a meeting … a prayer meeting. Four of us had grouped together and shared some personal things we wanted prayer for.

I was just about to pray for my daughter Karlie – in fact, the first few words had come out of my mouth – when my phone started to ring.

I know, you’re supposed to turn your phone off in the movies, services and prayer meetings. Well I hadn’t, and my ringer is a funky piano tune.

I panicked and went for my phone, quickly swiping my finger across the screen and answering it.

Of course being in a prayer meeting I couldn’t talk loudly, so I quietly said, “Hang on; I’m in a meeting,” as I moved to an exit.

That’s right, I left praying for my daughter to answer a phone call!

I was kicking myself all the way to the exit. And I’ve been kicking myself ever since!

How could someone do that? How could I do that? What message did I send my daughter in that moment?

I know this is one of those moments that I will cringe about every time I think of it … for years! You can’t take your actions back; you can’t undo what’s been done.

All I could do is say, “I’m sorry, Karlie. I panicked and did the wrong thing. Will you forgive me?”

Here’s the thing:  When we sin, that memory can linger with us and Satan can use it against us to discourage us, to make us too embarrassed to go to God with it. But the best thing, the only thing we should do, is confess our sin to God and move on from there. You can’t take it back. You might not even be able to forget it, but it doesn’t have to keep you from restoring your relationship with God.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What’s one of your most embarrassing moments and what did you do about it?  Leave your comment below.

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Why You Need To Start Something Gradually

There are some weird things about how our bodies work.

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You know how you can be fine one day and wake up the next morning and have a pain that wasn’t there the day before? You can’t put your finger on where it came from; it just showed up in your body … like Canada Post delivering the mail – you never know when it’s going to arrive.

But that’s nothing! I once went into the hospital to have an operation on my nose. It had suffered a little hockey damage and needed a tuck here, opening of the passageway there, kind of thing.

Anyway, when I came to after the operation, I had the worst charlie horse in my right thigh that I’ve ever had. I had to check to see if they had taken some tissue from my thigh and strapped it onto my nose.

Fortunately, there wasn’t any noticeable thigh parts in or around the centre of my face. But when I was leaving the hospital I had a little cast on my nose and a major limp in my walk. It wasn’t pleasant.

Then there was this week. I was playing ball hockey at our pastors’ retreat and, though my favourite position is centre in front of the other team’s goalie, I felt I needed to run a little to show my team I wanted to help out.

Near the end of the game I could feel my muscles starting to react to the running. An hour later, I was walking like a 75 year old who rode horses for a living until he was 65!

I was thinking, “It’s not like I haven’t used my legs. I play hockey regularly. I try to walk about 10,000 steps a day. Why all this muscle pain?”

But that was nothing! The next day I was worse – just thinking of having to walk up or down a flight of stairs sent me into a panic attack and looking for someone to piggyback me.

To say my muscles were barking is an understatement. It was like every muscle from my waist down was in agony; even the muscles in my feet were yelping. And getting up after sitting for a while threw all of them into creating a symphony of pain.

The pain was there the next day too, and even three days later I was avoiding all stairs if I could help it.

How could a little running up and down a gym floor generate all the pain that it did? It just didn’t make sense to me.

Well, it’s called lactic acid build up. I needed it to help me exercise but I produced too much and it couldn’t all be burned off. I had acidosis. It sounds like a contagious disease – I felt like quarantining myself to flat surfaces only.

The preventive measure is to ease into exercise, pace yourself, and do a cool down. Other things that help are water, diet and sleep.

… Lot of help that does me knowing that after the fact!

Here’s the thing: Sometimes we get energized to develop our devotional life with God, and so we go hard at it with big plans and commitments. What happens then is we get a dose of spiritual acidosis and we then back right off. Instead, take it slow, warm up with a short time with God, and build up to longer sessions of spiritual exercise.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How have you recovered when you’ve stopped your time with God? Leave your comment below.

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What Fall And Taxes Have In Common

Well, it’s late fall and you know what that means . . . winter is coming soon. Well, for most people that’s what it means. For me, it means running around and gathering information to send to Revenue Canada.

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It seems that every year or so at this time I’m politely asked to explain some of the deductions on my income tax.

I know it’s kind of late in the year. I submitted my tax return in March, received my notice of return back in April, and now in November I get a letter saying “wait a minute, we’d like to see some documentation to support your claim”.

I’ve had my refund for months. It’s pretty much been dispersed by now to savings, vacation and my children’s support fund.

That’s right, my kids are in their twenties but it doesn’t mean I’m not still doling out cash to them when needed.

Anyway, the revenue department usually wants to see my charitable receipts. They want to make sure I have receipts to back up my claim.

Coming up with receipts is not the problem, but because I claim receipts for previous years, I have to send them all the receipts I’m claiming and have claimed in those previous years. It is an aggravation I could really do without!

But this year is different. They want proof that I still have a son in university to claim his tuition.  Though he’s taking his sweet time finishing his degree, I don’t think 23 is an unlikely age for a son to still be wandering down the hallowed halls of higher education.

It’s an easy response – just one form to send in and I have it all ready to go. It’s the other request that bugs me: they want me to prove my claim for travel.

At one time a pastor would live beside the church and only have to walk next door. For that matter, his whole parish might be within walking distance and he wouldn’t have to drive his car very much.

But we live in the 21st century. I have appointments, meetings, visits, conferences, things to pick up, all that take place around the city and beyond … of course I use my car for work!

But the problem is they want all the receipts categorized, all my kilometres driven, and those that were driven for work, including the purpose of the mileage.

I have all that info, but it’s a pain to have to organize it all the way they want it.

Sometimes I wonder why they go after me so often. Every single time I’ve given them the documentation they asked for and it’s satisfied them.

But I have to remember it’s not some six foot, 250 pound, middle-aged man with dark grey hair and thick curly eyebrows stewing over my tax form. It’s some mainframe computer without a brain that spits out requests based on the number of 7’s or something I used in my tax return.

Next year I’m rounding everything up or down to eliminate those 7’s!

Here’s the thing: Occasionally, I don’t want to take the time to spend time with God because other things are pressing, or I’m in a hurry. Time with God then feels like an inconvenience – like having to send documents to Revenue Canada. If I keep delaying that I will be penalized. And if I make excuses for not spending time with God, I will miss out on what He has for me that day.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What gets in your way of spending time with God? Leave your comment below.

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A Hockey Game To Remember

I went to a hockey game with my son the other day and realized just how much genetics and upbringing shape and mould us.

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I remember growing up thinking that I was pretty unique, like there was no one identical to me. I was pretty naive back then – maybe suffering from an “I am special” complex that I’m sure annoyed some people … especially my parents and siblings.

But early in my twenties, I began to notice that I wasn’t all that “special” in the way I thought, in what I liked and disliked, in some of my habits, and in my choices.

I also noticed that my parents had lots of traits that I have; they were a lot like me. My first thought was, “They must be special too!”

But you know, just coming out of my teen years when I knew everything, I was quite conscious of the fact that they weren’t all that special … which left me with the realization that maybe I wasn’t all that special either.

Over the years I’ve realized that a part of what I am like is a direct result of being the procreation of Don and Helen. And then, added to that, a large part of who I am is also a result of growing up in an environment with them.

My genetics may determine how I process information, but my upbringing has shaped the angle,  view, or perspective from which I start to process that information.

When you think about it, our heritage – biological and environmental – has a huge part to play in us.

I was thinking about that when my son and I were talking together at the hockey game. He’s about the age now that I was at when I started to realize some of these things.

Our conversation uncovered how the pattern that formed who I am, is the same pattern that has been shaping him.

I understand some of the struggles he’s gone through … I could share similar stories from my days being in my twenties. There were times when we knew what each other was thinking.

We were both comfortable being in a hockey arena and also reflecting on the game and reminiscing about games we’ve played.

From the time he was little we’ve been watching sports together, especially hockey. When he was really little, in some fanciful way, he thought I played for the Toronto Maple Leafs, even though we would watch the first period together on TV … in Edmonton.

He’s developed a love for hockey and many sports probably because it has been part of his environment and was encouraged in our home growing up.

He even learned to share my love for the Toronto Maple Leafs … No, sorry, that’s genetic.

Here’s the thing: The goal of a Christian is to become more like Christ. Part of that is genetics, because we are made in His image. But a large part of that has to do with the environment we live in. If you are going to be transformed more into the likeness of Christ, you need to make sure your environment will produce those kinds of results. That means being around those who are ahead of you in the transformation process, and it will mean developing the habits and thinking of Christ which we find in His word. To become more like Christ, arrange your environment so that you come under that maximum influence of the Son of God.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How have you arranged your environment to come under the influence of Christ? Leave your comment below.

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You Need Purpose On Your Day Off

Have you ever worked hard for a week or more, and been in desperate need of a day off?

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When you finally get that well-deserved day off, there is a tendency to want to do nothing, to not plan, not initiate, not schedule.

And that’s probably the worst thing you can do.

We all need rest from our work. We need time to recharge our batteries, to get ourselves ready to face work again. But so many times we approach a day off with the wrong kind of thinking.

We want to distance ourselves from anything that reminds us of work, like making a to-do list, or completing a to-do list, or even putting things down on a schedule for the day.

We want to sleep in, have a leisurely breakfast, and just float through the day being pushed by the wind.

… It sounds nice in theory, but it’s the worst thing you could do on your day off – your precious day off.

You see, if you do that, by the end of the day you’ll feel frustrated that you wasted your day.

The next morning you’ll be wishing you had another day off because you won’t be ready to go back to work. You’ll feel like you didn’t accomplish anything on your day off …  which is precisely what you set out to do!

The problem is that we are not mindless and ambition-less. We were made to do things, and built to have purpose – even if it is purpose for a day off.

God has created us with a purpose. Purpose is in our DNA.

We can fight having a purpose – and many people do on their day off – but you’ll have a subconscious frustration that forms a pattern you can’t seem to break out of. It becomes habit-forming.

I remember when I was in high school I would sleep in on Saturdays. I thought I liked sleeping in like that. But at one point I realized that I would wake up a little frustrated, slightly cranky, when I would get up at around 12:30 or 1 pm.

It dawned on me that deep down I felt like I was wasting a good portion of the day.

That’s when I made a big change. … But getting up early was not the only thing I needed.

I also needed a plan of what to do, or else I would still diddle my day away.

When I’ve planned my day off and executed it, I feel better, and the next day I’m rejuvenated. All I need is a little purpose in my day off.

That means coming up with a plan, a schedule and action. The difference between that and work is that you do what you are interested in, what will bring some joy, fulfillment, and a sense of accomplishment.

That’s why this morning, on my day off, I’m making a plan of how my day will be filled with purpose.

Here’s the thing: If you are going to keep growing in your relationship with God, then you are going to have to be purposeful in that as well. Take some time to plan and schedule when you will meet with Him. Don’t let days, weeks or months go by in subconscious frustration knowing you should meet with God. Make a plan, put it in your schedule and implement it.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What makes planning on your day off difficult for you? Leave your comment below.

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Don’t Let Many Options Cause You To Settle

The other day I was attempting to purchase a light for our remodelled bedroom closet from the many options out there.

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I wanted a light that would come on when the doors open, and turn off automatically. My wife Lily had seen such a light at Ikea.

So rather than travel to Toronto or Ottawa, we thought we would try the three big box stores in town.

We found virtually the same options at all three stores, but not one of them had the kind of motion switch we were looking for … so much for competition!

The prices were pretty much the same, and all the stores had all the items in stock. It was like all three stores were owned by the same company, with the same purchaser, and the same salespeople telling us the same thing:

“No, there isn’t anything like that.”

My problem with that is, that in a town far away, there is a store with a product that’s like that.

The three box stores in my town are situated within a 6 km radius. They obviously want to be all together, so we can be disappointed three times within a few minutes!

Maybe they don’t feel they have to compete with a store that’s two hours away. All I know is there is a store that sells the product we’re looking for. We just have to wait for an opportune time to get to it.

I think the stores in our area know this and assume we will settle for something they offer. In fact, I almost did. I almost thought, “Turning on a light switch in the morning when I’m hunting for clothes is not that bad. I may be tired, but I can find a switch in the dark and flick it on.”

At one time, I remember we had to get up off the couch and walk over to the TV to turn it on. And then if we wanted to watch a different channel we had to get up again. I know, that was back in the dark ages, and we would never think of leaving the couch to go back to manual channel surfing now.

But it’s just one on and off switch I’m talking about. I know that even if my wife doesn’t think so, I could be trained to turn that closet light off when I’m done.

That’s the reasoning our box stores are hoping we will come to; that’s what they want us to settle for.  But they don’t know my wife.

No, we will wait, me picking out my clothes by braille each morning until we can locate a light that will illuminate my chore without having to flick my index finger.

I just hope I can find the closet doors to slide them open between now and then.

Here’s the thing: I don’t know about you, but sometimes I have too many options that fill my mind first thing in the morning. There can be an overpowering desire to get right at the most urgent thing on your list … or get distracted by something that catches your interest … or not engage your mind because you’re tired. These are all options that will keep you from doing the one thing you should do and that is spend time with God. Set your priority and don’t give in to the other options.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What other options are you presented with when you spend time with God?  Leave your comment below.

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Sometimes Change is Difficult

As your family gets older, you find some things change, some things don’t. This year, for a change, we decided to celebrate Thanksgiving up at our cottage.

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It’s the first time that all four of us have been there at the same time. We’ve owned it for about five years, but for most of that time our daughter Karlie has been out of the province.

And son Mike, well, he came up once the first year with some buddies and it was cold, rainy and miserable the whole time. He’s never been back.

But times change. Karlie now lives only a couple hours away and Mike, well, we twisted his arm, with the promise of a golf game.

This was going to be a big deal, so my wife Lily spent most of Saturday preparing food, baking, and gathering what she would need to build a Thanksgiving turkey dinner up at Sauble Beach.

As I started to pack the car Sunday afternoon, that’s when I noticed that not all things change somethings remain the same.

When we used to go away as a family, the day we packed and left was always a little tense for Lily. In the last while, when it’s just been the two of us, she’s been much more relaxed about it.

Not yesterday. Some latent matriarchal hormone kicked in and she was in my face while I was packing the car. She was stressed and hovering around me. I could feel a couple of very intense eyes, burrowing holes in the back of my head like lasers.

It was not an easy task to pull off, even without her there. Our car is a small Hyundai Accent and we had to cram two golf bags in it, along with all the food and other stuff … a big change from when the kids were little and we used to travel in a big ol’ Safari van, a 7-seater for the four of us.

On our way up, we had to grab some dinner. However, I made the mistake of not stopping where there was a variety of restaurants, opting to get farther on our journey.

Well, by the time we found a restaurant most of us were happy to eat at, we were all pretty hungry. However, when we got inside, Mike didn’t want anything on the menu. We all ate except him.

It just reminded me of going camping one time as a family when my dad was with us. We had stopped to eat at a restaurant of Dad’s choosing, and somehow Mike – who was about 14 at the time – didn’t like the menu and didn’t eat anything. This experience was like deja vu!

But when we got up to the cottage that’s when I noticed the biggest change. We were all sitting around talking, I fell asleep in my chair, and the kids took the car into town to grab a midnight snack.

Here’s the thing: In order to develop your relationship with God, you have to notice the things in your life that are resistant to change – attitudes, emotions and actions. You have to acknowledge them, confess them and figure out a way to get beyond them so that you can continue to grow closer to God.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you found to be hard to change in your life? Leave your comment below.

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Why You Fail To Keep Commitments

The other day I was thinking about why it’s hard for many of us to keep commitments – especially the ones we make to ourselves.

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I believe people approach making commitments differently, and so for some it is easier to keep those commitments than it is for others. But it doesn’t have to be.

I’ve made a commitment to spend time with God each day at 6 am. Now I’m not perfect in that, but I would say that I keep that commitment most days and I’ve been doing it for years.

Someone else I know has made commitments over the years to exercising early in the morning. However, they have not been able to maintain that commitment over a long period of time.

My first piece of advice is you shouldn’t exercise that early in the morning – there is something seriously wrong with that concept! And in the words of Mr. T., “I pity the fool”.

But seriously, the difference I observed between my friend and I is not a commitment issue but how we treat conditions that are placed on our commitments.

To every commitment there are conditions that we either have to satisfy or dismiss in order to keep what we’ve committed to. And we deal with these conditions very differently.

You see, I get up every morning regardless of when I went to bed the night before, while my friend insists he gets 8 hours of sleep in order to get up early to exercise. So it is really the condition not his commitment level that determines whether he will follow through or not.

If he gets his sleep, he satisfies the condition, and he exercises; if not, he doesn’t. After he misses a few in a row because he didn’t get his sleep, it becomes harder and harder for him to keep the commitment. He eventually stops.

He needs to do one of two things with his condition: either dismiss it or satisfy it.

Some people have the ability to dismiss possible conditions so that they don’t get in the way of meeting their commitments. But for those who can’t do that, they must first satisfy the condition in order to consistently keep their commitments.

Foreseeing other possible conditions that may arise along the way is also important. For instance, what happens to your commitment if you are away on a trip somewhere?

If you put your commitment on hold, it will be hard to get back at it when you return home. You can dismiss the condition and keep getting up early, or you have to figure out a way to satisfy it while you’re away.

… And that will take some planning and possible preparation.

A major key to following through on your commitment is determining the conditions placed on the commitment and satisfying or dismissing them.

Here’s the thing: If you are having trouble committing to spending time with God, don’t focus on your lack of commitment as being the problem. Look at all the conditions you’ve placed on what you’ve committed to, evaluate them and either dismiss them or satisfy them. Then you will find you can regularly keep to spending time with God.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What has made keeping commitments difficult for you? Leave your comment below.

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Difficult Choice

It’s alway more difficult to make the hard choice over the easy one.

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Not long ago I did a blood test for my doctor. I say it’s for him because he’s the one that asked for it. Personally, I had no desire to have a blood test.

It was not anything special, just a routine test I should probably have every year … but I’ve extended it a little – like about 2 1/2 years!

Since the test, I’ve been holding my breath hoping that my blood was red or the right colour of red, or whatever they were looking for in my blood. One week went by and I thought, “That’s a good sign. I haven’t heard anything, so maybe everything’s good.”

But I wasn’t convinced, so I thought I’d hold my breath for another week, just to make sure. The week went by; still nothing from my doctor and I was starting to think about breathing again.  That’s when my doctor informed me that my cholesterol was high.

My first thought was, “What’s wrong with my cholesterol pills? Are they not working? Did they give me a placebo? Are they past their expiry date?” Then I realized, no, I just thought I was immune to bad cholesterol while being on them.

I’d been living large, thinking I could eat anything because my cholesterol pills would eradicate any of the bad stuff out of my system.

My doctor and I had a brief chat about my recourse: Option 1 was to double my cholesterol pills.  If I did that maybe I could go on eating as I pleased. But I wanted a different option. Option 2 was lose weight.

I’ve done that before. I lost 28 pounds in six months once. I lost 10 pounds when I had my heart attack. There were a couple of times I lost 5 pounds just by getting the flu.

But this is a little different. I have to have a plan for eating, and I know that’s not going to be easy.

When I lost that 28 pounds, I only ate things that were low on the glycemic index. That got rather boring after a while and difficult to manage. So this time my strategy is a little different. I’m only eating at meal times. I’m not restricting my diet, just not eating outside breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I started five days ago and it’s been doable. There have been a couple of times I’ve wanted to search out a little snack in the evening, but I’ve resisted heading for the panty where I’ve got a stash of liquorice.

I don’t like not being able to snack, but the crazy thing is I’m feeling better. I’ve also lost 4 pounds (by the way, I’m whispering so my wife doesn’t hear me write this – it bugs her that I can lose weight so easily).

Losing weight has not been a problem for me when I really work at it. Like most people, my problem is in keeping it off! My desire for a good burger and fries, wings, Dr. Pepper, chocolate, liquorice – well you get the idea – is strong!

Right now I’m motivated for the challenge … we’ll see where this takes me.

Here’s the thing: I’ve chosen the hard option – to reduce my cholesterol – but many are inclined to take the easy way. The life of a Christian is not taking the easy way. It is taking the hard option of being obedient to God and His will over living to one’s own impulses and desires. It will always be a challenge and the easy way will always be a temptation.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: When have you had to choose between the hard and easy options? Leave your comment below.

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Anybody Else Have Hair Issues?

This morning I looked in the mirror and realized I can’t keep up with the hair on my body. If you’re under 40 and reading this, right now you’re thinking, “That’s gross!” – maybe you even said it out loud. If you’re over 40, you probably just thought to yourself, “Ya, so what?”

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At the time I made this discovery, I was using my handy, battery-powered shaver for hair that grows on one’s ears (yes, they make something for that). And, as much as my son chuckles at all the hair I have on my body, there was a time when it wasn’t like that.

In my teens, I focussed growing hair on my head – and I did a pretty good job of it. I’d show you a picture, but for some reason I don’t have any pictures of myself when I was a teen. It’s too bad because I had some pretty good outfits back then to go with my hair!

My hair grew long and thick and people who cut my hair would say, “You’ll never go bald” … but I’m not so sure of that now.

You see, I’m still growing hair – and it grows long – but it’s not focussed on my head any more.  That part is thinning out. But I can grow some great patches of hair on my ears and back. I’m thinking of buying a mini lawnmower just to keep the hair on my back neatly trimmed.

Then there is the nose hair. I know that if I just left that to itself, I’d have a jungle in there. Even my eyebrows – I can grow some funky, long curly hairs there too.

What happened to me? One day you’re smirking at the gorilla guy on the beach, and the next day you ARE the gorilla guy on the beach!

I realize that people who read this and see me on a regular basis will start checking me out a little more closely. I’ll just warn you now, you’ll see some wild hair, because I’ve lost control of it.

One of the differences between men and women is that women have been plucking and pruning all their lives. But for guys to start doing that in their 40’s or 50’s, it’s too late to put that into our regular grooming routine. It just gets away on us sometimes.

You know when you see your lawn and think, “I should really cut the grass today”, but you’re so tired, you don’t?  And then it rains for the next three days and you have meetings in the evening for the next two after that.

By the time you cut your grass, it’s twice as long as it was when you originally noticed that it needed cutting.

That same scenario applies to trimming the hair on your body.

This morning I threw my hands up in defeat, and said, “I give up”.  I couldn’t even get myself to shave my face. Fortunately, it’s Saturday. I have work to do around the house, so no one’s going to see me anyway.

I’ll worry about getting all my hairs cut tomorrow . . .  I hope it doesn’t rain.

Here’s the thing: You can’t control how your hair grows as you get older, but you can control how your relationship with God grows. The tendency can be to coast and not take care of it. But don’t settle for that. Keep growing as you get older. Your relationship with the Lord doesn’t have to get old as you age. It can be fresh, exciting and new if you will tend to it.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What ways do you fight getting older? Leave your comment below.