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Tough Experiences Become Fond Memories

It’s funny how you can look back on tough experiences with fond memories.

The other day I was sitting in the dressing room at an arena talking about playing hockey outdoors.

There was a young guy with us, probably about 14 years old. He had no clue what most of us experienced growing up playing pond hockey.

I’m sure he’s played some hockey outdoors, maybe even on a frozen lake or pond, but certainly not in the conditions most of us did.

When I was growing up, the only indoor hockey you got to play were league games, and then even some of them were on outdoor rinks.

On those cold winter nights you would layer up under your equipment and then somehow fit a toque under your helmet.

That pompom was always a sore spot – literally! It made your head sore in one spot.

Fortunately, in those days hockey helmets never fit all that exactly so there was a little wiggle room for that little wool ball on the end of your hat.

But that really was nothing compared to the after school hockey we played on the Humber River.

We lived pretty close to the ravine and it was a perfect spot to set up a hockey game. We would get our stuff together and carry our skates slung over our hockey stick, like a hobo leaving town.

We had to cross the high school football field and walk down the hill into the ravine, being careful not to fall as there was no real path; it was almost straight down.

Sometimes we had to bring shovels, or a net, but often we used our boots as goal posts.

We would play until it was too dark to see, or we got too cold to keep going.

The latter was most common. We would get so cold that we couldn’t or wouldn’t take off our skates. We just couldn’t bare the pain, so we would walk home in our skates.

That’s right! – we had to climb out of the ravine with our skates on, dulling them on the dirt and snow, gouging them on the rocks and stones.

Usually by the time we got up the hill, we were crying or on the verge of it. It was a long walk going from one end of the football field to the other.

… And we’re talking a Canadian football field – 10 yards longer plus the extra yardage of the end zones.

By that time our fingers didn’t work to hold on to our boots. We had to carry them like you would a baby in your arms.

Our toes were so cold, the pain was excruciating. But there was still one more hurdle to climb.

And yes, we had to climb. We climbed a 6 foot metal frost fence because the thought of walking around and taking the extra time was unthinkable.

Boots and sticks were flung over the fence, then skates and all we climbed up the fence and over.

From there it was a short distance to the warmth of our home, to mom, hot chocolate, and the utter pain of thawing toes and fingers.

We’d swear we’d never do that again. But the next night we’d be at it all over again.

Here’s the thing: Those tough times shaped us. We were stronger, more determined because of those times. When you battle spiritually, remember those wounds will bring a perseverance and character that you will look back on with fondness.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What has been a tough experience that made you stronger? Leave your comments below.

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I Had a Sleeping Bag Nightmare

Last night I slept in a sleeping bag … and I remembered why I don’t like them very much.

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We were on our board retreat at a cottage and I got the chance to try out one of our sleeping bags that has been kicking around our house for more than a few years.

I don’t remember this one from before, so I may have never slept in it, or it’s been so long since I have that I don’t remember it.

What I do remember now, after spending a night in and out of it, is how twisted they get.

The guy who came up with the idea must have slept very still – they’re great if you sleep on your back with your legs straight.

A mummy would do very well in a sleeping bag.

The problem is when you move … and I must move around when I sleep more than I used to.

At one point in the night I couldn’t turn because I was caught up in the sleeping bag. I was lying on a part of it that was constricting my movement.

I felt like I was in the shape of a pretzel and I know the sleeping bag had somehow become twisted into a knot.

I ended up unzipping the bag for most of the night, but that created its own problems.

On a bed, two independent blankets work together just as described – independently. But in an unzipped sleeping bag you are in a fold … I liken it to a taco.

You get all that meat, cheese, lettuce and tomato bits in the fold of the taco shell; it looks good until you take a bite. Then all that stuff starts squirming out of the fold of your taco and making a mess.

Well, there I was all night long squirming out of my taco – uh, sleeping bag.

The good thing about it was that the cottage was warm so I didn’t really need much covering. But boy, when that bag constricted around me like a python, it was like I was fighting for my life!

Here’s something the sleeping bag manufacturer could consider: They should make different widths of sleeping bags.

For young people the sleeping bag can be narrower, but for people who have lived a little, have a few more dreams that they wrestle with when they sleep, they should make the sleeping bags double wide.

I’m just saying I need a little more wiggle room than these things give me.

Sometimes when my alarm goes off in the morning I am so comfortable in my bed that I have to convince myself that I need to get up.

Not this morning! I was up right away, quite happy to get out of my tangled mess. It was like I won the battle with the snake.

He had me in his grip, he was squeezing the life out of me, but I stretched and pulled and moved and fought my way free to live another day.

Well, maybe that was just what I dreamt last night.

Here’s the thing: Have you ever struggled with God on something? Maybe it was a big issue in your life and you needed Him to come through for you. Maybe you’re struggling with Christ just about whether you will trust Him. Keep struggling to the end because, in the end, you will find the freedom that only God can provide.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What’s the thing you are wrestling with right now? Leave your comments below.

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Playing Hockey With The Old Man

The old man showed up yesterday on the ice … and the old man was me!

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It’s been a slow start back to playing hockey regularly.

The first time I played this fall I felt pretty good. I had some speed, hands weren’t too bad, scored a few goals. Things were looking promising.

I had worried that after turning 60 in June I somehow wouldn’t be able to skate any more or pass or shoot.

But from my first outing, things seemed just like they were when I left the ice in the spring.

Now I’m about a month into playing again and yesterday there was a shortage of players for shinny. We had to play four aside with only one sub.

Let me tell you, I needed that sub!

I think I was coming off the ice twice as much as the other guys on my team … and it wasn’t because I was trying to be courteous.

I needed to come off; I was dying!

With only four guys on the ice, there is so much more ice to skate and it was wearing me out. Mostly my legs were in a lot of pain.

It felt like I had shin splints after about 30 seconds into a shift – sharp pains in my shins that traveled up to my thighs as well.

All I needed was about a minute on the bench and my legs returned to normal, but it sure made it tough to skate when I was out there.

It didn’t help that I had the three oldest guys playing on my team. In fact, we may have had the four oldest.

The young guys on the other team didn’t seem to want to take it easy on us either. They checked us close and made us really work to get the puck out of our end.

I felt like an old man, not able to skate like I once could, having to take rests more frequently than the others.

It was pretty discouraging.

I know I could still skate well if I didn’t have the pain, and I know I could have more stamina if I was in a little better shape.

The pain in my legs has been happening since I had a heart attack over four years ago. But it has gotten a little worse.

I’ve tried loosening my equipment, and drinking insane amounts of water, but the pain doesn’t seem to be a circulation or an electrolyte problem.

I think it’s coming down to either my medication messing with my muscles, too much sugar in my system, or my heart not working at the capacity it needs to to enable my legs to work properly.

… I really don’t want it to be the latter reason. So my next step is to work on my sugar intake. For the next while I’m going to cut all deliberate, unnecessary, gratuitous sugar from my diet.

Let’s see how that goes and how it effects my muscles. I’ll check back on this later.

Here’s the thing: When you face something that doesn’t seem right, always question it, seek to discover possible reasons for it, and try potential solutions to solve it. The best environment for this is in consultation with God. Meet with and ask God for help as you question, discover and try to get past what you’re facing.

That’s Life,

Paul

Question: What difficulty have you faced and just accepted, rather than trying to solve? Leave your comments below.

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Taking A Day Off Doesn’t Mean Doing Nothing

Today I’m taking the day off. What I mean by that is I’m not going to do anything I don’t really want to do today.

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This last week has been very hectic. I’ve had some extra demands on my time, energy and my emotions. I’m feeling rather drained today.

It’s that feeling when you take the dish cloth and wring it out. You do it once and you get most of the water out. But then you do it again and, surprise, there’s still some water in it. So you squeeze that cloth real hard a third time until your hands start to hurt. Still a little bit of water comes out … but it’s only a few drops.

That’s where I’m at today. I’ve been wrung out a few times this past week and each time there was still a little in me. But this morning, I’m feeling like I only have a drop or two left.

So it’s time that I let myself soak under the tap to get filled up again.

Filling a cloth back up is easy; you just need to put it in water. But we are a little more complex.

When we are wrung out, the things that put life back into us are things we want to do and look forward to doing.

I thought about today as I lay in bed just before getting up this morning. There were a few things that came to mind that I am looking forward to doing.

I’m looking forward to doing something that will exercise my body, something that will take some brain power and something that will lift my emotions in the right direction.

To get filled up requires something specific to replenish what’s depleted in you. You can’t just “veg” and get filled up. Spending a day in front of the TV doesn’t do anything for you. You actually have to activate those parts of you that are depleted.

And it matters what you activate them with. If it’s something you have to do or something you’re not looking forward to doing, it won’t benefit you. If you consider it to be work rather than pleasure, even if it is something that is outside your everyday work, it will give you that wringing out feeling rather than that filling up feeling.

You could, amazingly enough, do something that is work-related if it fills you up.

The temptation is to do nothing, to open up the cloth, hang it over the faucet and let it dry completely. You know, however, that when you do that, the cloth gets hard and stiff … and it will eventually take even longer and more water to soak it and get it soft enough to be useable.

It’s best to keep the cloth soaked, and you can only do that by placing it under the tap.

Stay filled by doing things that will replenish those parts of you that just had the life squeezed out of them.

Here’s the thing: Along with filling up your physical, mental and emotional parts, be sure to fill up your spiritual part as well. We are not meant to be idle; we are best when we are active. Be sure you activate your spirit when you fill up. That part will keep you connecting to the One who gives you insight into the rest of your complex self.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you like to do to replenish your energy, mind and emotions? Leave your comments below.

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Is The Whole Greater Than All Its Parts?

You’ve heard the phrase “the whole is greater than the sum of its parts”. The quote goes back a long time; it’s from Aristotle. But let me spin it another way.

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More recently, we associate this phrase with synergy – the idea that when people work together what they produce is greater than what they could collectively do on their own.

In music when a group of jazz musicians jam together they feed off each other and create a sound that is greater than what they could produce on their own instruments.

This is why team work is so important when working on projects, in sports or pretty much anything.

However, this principle is opposite when it comes to fixing something.

The whole costs less than the sum of its parts … and that’s the phrase that’s more on my mind these days.

A week ago I wrote a post about the car accident I had with a deer (you can read it here). I kind of thought that my car won that fight. I mean, I think the deer probably lived but it was banged up more than my car … but perhaps I was a little hasty with that thought.

In the wisdom of the collision appraiser, he thinks the car has more damage than it’s worth. In other words, it will cost as much to fix the car as it would to buy one of the same vintage.

Basically what they are saying is that the sum of the parts needed to fix my car costs more than the whole car is worth … and really we are only talking about four parts on the car! It still runs as well as it did before.

So if I bought all the individual parts the car needs it would cost me more than it would to just buy the finished product.

There’s that synergy working. Normally it would be a good thing, but here’s how it’s a bad deal for me …

I have a diminishing deductible on my insurance. So if they fix my car, for whatever price, I don’t pay anything and I get my car back intact like it was before the accident – like the deer incident never happened.

Instead, however, because all those parts cost more than the whole car is worth, the insurance company will probably give me some money for the car and I will have to add to that total in order to get a replacement for my vehicle.

In the end it will cost me money out of my pocket to get a car on the road again.

And because I don’t want to go back to a 2009 vehicle in 2016, I will have to purchase something that is newer and more expensive.

This “the whole is greater than the sum of its parts” works out great for the insurance company.

Somehow I have to figure out how to get some synergy working for me.

Here’s the thing: God never intended us to live the Christian life on our own. We were created to live as Christ followers in community. So when you think of your life in Christ, consider all the parts: personal time with God, worship, learning, growing, and serving. It’s when we do these together that we experience the whole being greater than the sum of its parts.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What parts to your Christian life are you lacking right now? Leave your comments below.

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You Need An Outlet In Your Life (part 3)

How do you know what kind of an outlet you need for a particular time? Should it be something with other people, or is an outlet by yourself good enough?

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These are important questions to answer to be able to have an outlet in your life that does what it’s supposed to do … and that is to provide a release for the stress, pressure, burden, or load of work, and all the emotions that come with these things.

In my last two posts I’ve written about what an outlet is (read here) and how to determine an outlet that works for you (read here).

In this post I want to help you discern the best kind of outlet for you at a particular time.

There are many factors that come into play in determining whether the right outlet should be with other people or on your own.

Personality has a say in this, so you need to know where you get your energy from. Are you recharged from being with others or from being alone? There are personality tests you can take to determine that.

On a basic level, if the weight you find yourself under is generated from within you – that is, you are putting the pressure on yourself – it would probably be best to have an outlet available to you that is more social.

When you feel alone in what you are going through, employing an outlet that is solo in nature is not going to give you that break from yourself that you need.

I’ve been there recently. Most of my burden comes from within, is self-packed and carried. In the midst of it, I had a window in my schedule where I could go biking.

The thought of getting my gear together, mounting my bike on my car and driving to the trails on my own was too much and I couldn’t get myself to do it.

I know I would have been glad once I got there, but being alone in this feeling that I had made it too difficult to get going on that particular day.

It might have been a better choice that day to get a few people together and go for dinner where we could watch the game on a big screen.

On the other hand, there are times that the burden you feel is because of people. In those cases choosing an outlet that isn’t social at all might be the best thing.

Going to a movie might be a bit of a bridge outlet because you can go with someone else but you don’t usually interact throughout the movie … unless you’re a teen and you’re watching a suspense movie with your girlfriend. It might become interactive as she digs her fingernails into your arm when the suspense builds!

Bottom line, it’s complicated and you need options … not just one outlet but several, some that are social and some that aren’t.

Build your list and schedule them if you can. You’ll feel better for it and be able to stand up under your burden.

Here’s the thing: God has made us social beings. It’s important that you don’t just have a consistent devotional life; you need the social interaction with scripture too. We should keep spending time alone with God, but also attend a life group to interact with God’s Word in a more social setting. By the way, there are two outlets for you: personal quiet time with God and life group meetings with others.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What kind of outlets do you gravitate to: solo or social? Leave your comment below.

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You Shouldn’t Have To Wonder Where The People Are

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The other day I wondered, “Where are all the people? Where have they gone?”

This question arose as I stood up to preach on Sunday morning. I gazed over the congregation; it was mostly empty seats that were staring back at me.

There have been times when our service was very poorly attended but that usually came the day after an ice storm.

But this was a sunny, warm, fall morning – one of those mornings where the sun peeks through the curtains and beckons you to get up and get moving.

And it was a great day. It was Thanksgiving Sunday (in Canada) … but there were not many in church.

That afternoon my son and I took in the Kingston Frontenacs OHL hockey game.

But there weren’t many at the game. Normally there would be 4000 plus in attendance, but that day there was just over 2000.

The arena looked empty; we could have sat anywhere we liked.

I wondered why there were so few people at the game when it was a holiday the next day. Much like church that morning, there were more empty seats than filled ones.

“Where is everyone?”, I thought.

Sure it was Thanksgiving weekend and people get together with family and friends for a big turkey dinner. I figured many people would have that big meal on Monday at some odd time like 2 in the afternoon.

… I’m not sure why we have special meals outside of regular meal times, but we do.

Maybe most people were having their big meal mid-afternoon.

That might be why no one came to the hockey game, but what about church? No one was going to have turkey, stuffing and pumpkin pie for brunch mid-morning.

It seemed like it was going to be one of those unsolved mysteries.

We were having our family and friends for turkey dinner as well. Sunday late afternoon the house was smelling like there was going to be a royal feast.

Everyone gathered and we sat down to a phenomenal Thanksgiving dinner. There was turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, carrots cooked in a special sauce, fresh rolls, a marshmallow salad (which I consider a teaser for the dessert to follow) … and we had gravy – lots of gravy!

We finished off with pumpkin pie and whipping cream – lots of whipping cream!

The meal didn’t start until around 6:45 pm, but it was worth waiting for. We talked and laughed and ate until we were really full.

Then something broke the festivities.

I got a notice on my phone; there was a score. I stood up and announced we better get to the TV; it was already 1-0 for Texas over the Blue Jays.

We quickly made our way to the TV and, as we settling in, Toronto hit two home runs and went ahead 3-1. They later went on to win the game and sweep Texas from the playoffs.

I learned something watching the game. I learned where everyone was. They were in Toronto watching that baseball game. The stadium was jammed with 50,000 plus people and there were millions watching all over the country.

Mystery solved.

Here’s the thing: One day when Christ returns, there will be those who wonder where all the people went. It will seem like a mystery; they will just be gone. But in heaven there will be a celebration going on that will outdo any division sweeping championship game at the Rogers Centre. Be sure you’re at that one and not just watching on TV.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you imagine a celebration like that? Leave your comments below.

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How To Get Your Heart Set On The Right Thing

We all get pulled by our hearts in different directions. Sometimes those directions come from a want that we have or a cause we are passionate about. Our hearts might even pull us towards some necessity.

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No matter what, the end result is always the same: we have our hearts set on it, and nothing will move us from whatever it is we have our hearts set on.

It might be a brand new car.

Have you ever noticed that if there is a certain car you are interested in you start seeing them everywhere? You see them in parking lots, and about every fifth car that you pass on the road seems to be the model you’re being drawn towards.

Or maybe it’s something you need, like a new bed (I wrote about that here). It seems like once you are in the process and start checking out new mattresses, you have to go through with it … You have your heart set on a new bed.

We’ve all witnessed demonstrations, either live or on TV, and we can tell how passionate the people are about their cause.

I remember back when I was in grade 13 … yes, for all you non-Ontario readers, we had grade 13 some years ago.

Well, the previous year, teachers in the Toronto area had been on work to rule, but a whole year passed and they still had no contract with the Ministry of Education.

So they went on strike.

I remember that day in October. It was our last day of school, and Miss. Habas was teaching us Math (functions and relations). She drew a shape of a parabola on the blackboard and started to explained how to solve the problem.

But the next day the strike was on.

What happened next was the best three and a half months of high school I ever experienced.  That’s right, that’s how long the teachers were on strike.

It was fantastic for us, except for the kids who moved up to their parents’ cottages to go to school there.

For the teachers, they walked the line. They had their hearts set on a new contract and held out until near the end of January until they got what they wanted.

Personally, I would have been satisfied if they had have stuck to their guns a little longer. I was enjoying my school, which was a little math tutoring twice a week for the first three weeks of the strike.

Just like the teachers had their hearts set on a new contract, when the strike was over they got pulled by their hearts to something else.

And so it is: our hearts pull us here and there.

But there is one thing our hearts should keep pulling us to, one thing we should keep setting our hearts on.

That one thing is God.

I read in 2 Chronicles 16:9 that God seeks to support those whose heart is fully committed to Him. I take that as someone who has their heart set on putting God first in their life.

Here’s the thing: The problem is we get our hearts set on so many things. How do we keep our hearts set on God? Well, here’s a challenge for you: at each meal many of us say grace. When you say grace from now on, declare that you are setting your heart on God. That just might keep your heart set on the right thing.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you set your heart on lately? Is it worth it? Leave your comments below.

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Like A Frog Who Grows Accustomed To Hot Water

Have you ever grown accustomed to something that isn’t very good for you?

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Sure you have! In fact, there is probably something that you think is fine and it’s really not.

The other day, my wife and I were out shopping for mattresses. It’s only been twenty-five years since we’ve had a new one.

… And that’s my point. I’m used to my mattress; I sleep on it every night. But when I laid down on some of the mattresses in the store, I realized my mattress is not doing me any favours.

At one time it was a good mattress. But how could I go so long lying on a mattress that no longer had any support?

The answer is that it didn’t go bad all of a sudden. It took time; it happened incrementally so that I adjusted to the bed as it got older and weaker.

It’s like the old frog in a pot syndrome. Frogs can’t live in hot water. … I learned that as a boy.

One time we were down at the river by our house and caught a bunch of frogs. We had about 6 or 8 of them.

When we got back home, we filled a basin up with water from the outside hose. The only problem was that the outside hose was filled with hot water because the sun had been beating down on it all day.

Well, we filled the basin up and threw in our frogs.

To our surprise, those little leaps died instantly, spread eagle style! It was too much for their system.

But if you put a frog in cool water and gradually warm it up, the frog won’t jump out as it gets hotter. It will stay there until it’s too late, letting itself get cooked.

Same thing with us. We get so used to the incremental changes that we don’t even notice them.

Well, that is until we lie on a bed in the store and realize what a pile of junk our bed really is!

Our son is in the market for a mattress and Lily suggested he take ours. He laid on it for about three seconds, laughed and said, “Not a chance!”

While we were in the store, I found a mattress with a remote control that raised the head of the bed almost to a sitting position. I suggested to Lily that maybe we should get it. She just shook her head as she lay on the bed she wanted.

Just then the salesman came by. I turned to him and said, “I’m taking this one and she’s taking that one.” … We would have had wall-to-wall mattresses if we did that.

I’m looking forward to my new mattress. I only have to put up with the lousy mattress we presently have for another two weeks.

I guess I’ll be able to make it; it’s only been a quarter of a century putting up with it.

And to think that a week ago I thought our mattress was just fine.

Here’s the thing: We really need to evaluate our life from time to time. Are there things in our life that we’ve grown accustomed to that are detrimental to our spiritual growth, and may be hindering our relationship with Christ? Take stock of what they may be and make a change. Don’t keep living in a way that is detrimental to your spiritual health.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you grown accustomed to that may not be all that good for you? Leave your comments below.

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Near Painless Method For Keeping Your Kitchen Clean

This week I found an almost painless way to keep a kitchen looking clean all the time.

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If you know me, you know I’m not really the guy you would naturally go to for tips on anything in the kitchen. I can boil an egg though. I proved it this week – two actually, and they were delicious.

My kitchen and culinary skills have never evolved to any extent and it may be due to always having someone in my life who had those skills.

It’s not that I dislike cooking, it’s that I don’t really know how to do it. I’m okay with a BBQ, and that’s probably what saved me this week.

I was away at our cottage ALONE doing my yearly planning, so I had to fend for myself in the kitchen. Almost all my meals consisted of using the BBQ.

The meals turned out tasty … with all the food groups represented in some sort of fashion.

However, with cooking there also comes cleaning. I never thought they went hand in hand before, but that was because we had a dishwasher.

The dishwasher is neat; you put the dishes in it and the kitchen looks clean.

There was a time when our dishwasher broke down and I was forced to do dishes with my wife. It was a trial and it was traumatic. I wrote a few blog posts about it (you can read them here).

This week I started off ignoring the fact that I needed to wash the dishes. I soon realized you can only do that for a couple of meals. Then the dishes pile up in the sink until you can’t get any more in and they spill over onto the counter.

So I decided to try something. When I started a meal I would run water in the sink and throw some dish soap in. Then, as I made my dinner, when I was finished with something, I would run it through the water, swish it with a cloth, and place it on the drying rack.

By the end of the meal, I only had a few things to clean up. I would quickly wash them and then dry them all with a towel.

It was simple – almost painless. I never stood over the sink for more than a few minutes and best of all, the kitchen virtually looked clean all the time.

It was amazing. I never went by the kitchen trying to avert my eyes from the mess. I never got that nagging feeling of “I’ve got to get at the dishes”.

Like a home with a built-in dishwasher is how my kitchen looked. Don’t get me wrong, I’d be happier with a dishwasher – and I don’t even mind what kind of dishwasher – either the built-in model or the live-in kind.

I’m not going to push my luck though. My new method is something that might be helpful to someone else in my family.

Here’s the thing: I’ve been reading through the Bible each year for the last 17 years. Sometimes I would get really far behind and have to exhaust myself trying to catch up. I’ve found it best to set a time and read a little bit (about 4 chapters) every day. That way you can keep up and you never have that pile of scripture that you have to clean up all in one sitting.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How has keeping up with something helped keep you from being burdened with it?  Leave your comments below.