my experiences

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Why Your Mother-in law May Be Smarter Than Your Smart Phone

My smart phone is a pretty amazing device, but I think my mother-in-law is still smarter.

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I had to do a funeral service in Ottawa, about two hours from Kingston where I live. I wanted to make sure that I got to the right place so I googled the name of the cemetery and found an address. I thought, just to be sure there weren’t two cemeteries with the same name or two locations in opposite ends of the city, I would phone my mother-in-law.

There is a reason why I wanted to be sure where I was going. Several years ago, I did a funeral in town and the following day was to do the committal service at a cemetery in another city that I wasn’t familiar with.

I got the address and left with plenty of time to spare. But the map took me to the opposite end of the city from the cemetery! I was so panicky, I pulled into a place where I knew I would find some local people: Tim Horton’s.

With sketchy directions, I drove like a mad man. I’m sure all those gathered, waiting for the late pastor to arrive, heard the roar of my engine as I came screaming into the cemetery and up to the grave side.

There was no way I was going to have that happen again! When I called my mother-in-law, I had to leave a message, so I got on my smart phone and used my map app to get directions. I thought I was all set.

A few hours later, my mother-in-law called me back. When I told her what I did, she casually gave me directions. As she did, I realized that her directions were a little different than those the map app had given me.

I decided to go with my mother-in-law’s directions.

The first indication that I was going to be on time for the service was when I passed the hearse about half way to Ottawa. I knew then, at the speed I was going, I would buy myself several minutes even if I got lost.

In the end, my mother-in-law’s directions were more direct and saved me time. The downside was I had to put up with my smart phone telling me to make a U-turn, and to “get back on route”.

My mother-in-law could outsmart a smart phone because she has lived in that city a long time and she’s driven to that cemetery before. It wasn’t just programmed information she read or somehow digested. She had personal experience with that route.

Here’s the thing: We can read books that give us information about God and His ways. But it is our experience of God and His ways in our life that give us insight and wisdom to help others. Never settle for information about God. Go the next step and experience that information … that will give you real wisdom to share.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: In your life, how has experience trumped information? Leave your comment below.

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How Instinct Can Automate Your Life

Instinct is a marvelous thing. It protects us, automates us, and it works fast! The other night we arrived at our cottage at about 9:30 in the evening. At this time of year, that means it’s pitch black dark out.

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Before we can turn the lights on in the cottage, we have to turn on the main switch at the power box outside around the back of the cottage. That’s my responsibility. So, I went around back, bent down to flick the switch and put my head in a spider web.

My immediate reaction was probably the same reaction 99% of people have when they do that: I pulled back and started swiping at the web. I did what anyone would do and for three good reasons …

The first reason is the web is sticky and it feels kind of gross. Secondly, we’ve all seen enough scary movies and there are always spider webs in scary movies! And thirdly, there may be a spider attached to that web that is going to start crawling all over you.

In a matter of a nano-second, I reacted for these three reasons and started flailing away. Right about then, Lily came with a flashlight so I could see the next spider web – which I avoided – as I reached to turn on the water to the cottage.

That instinctive reaction not only comes into play with spider webs. Early this summer while riding my bike I rode right into a swarm of tiny little bugs. Instinctively, I closed my eyes and mouth to protect myself from getting an eyeful or mouthful of the tasty little morsels.

It was amazing that I could be riding at about 20 km’s per hour right into the bugs and still get my eyes and mouth shut in time.

Instinct works like a machine. There is no processing time; it’s all reaction that happens in a split second. You don’t have to think, analyze, choose, or decide; it’s automatic.

There are many other things that we do instinctively. When we put something bad tasting in our mouth, it’s automatic that we all make the same face and spit it out. Some of us have better expressions than others, and some spit it out in more appropriate places that others. But instinctively, we all react without even a thought.

There are tons of things we do instinctively that are just built in to our nature. But there are things that we react to because we’ve learned to and it has become automatic.

You don’t think about what to do when you sit in a car, but you do the same thing every time. When you go to shave, you start in the same place every time. There are countless things we’ve learned to be instinctive about.

… Except putting out the garbage! I still have to become instinctive about that.

Here’s the thing: We can become instinctive about many things, and one of those things is prayer. Our instinctive reaction to life should be to pray … and developing such an instinct requires repetition. The more you repeat the same action (prayer) to what happens in your life, the sooner it will become instinctive for you.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What have you learned to be instinctive about? Leave your comment below.

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The Secret of Optimism

I think optimism is something that every one of us would like to possess. Optimism is a “hopefulness and confidence about the future”. It is being hopeful of a successful outcome.

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I wrote that definition not because I think some people don’t know the meaning of the word. I wrote it because optimism is such a foreign concept to some, that seeing a definition might stir them to the possibility of experiencing an optimistic thought.

Yes, some people are “glass half empty” folks and others are “glass half full”. It’s how we are wired and for good reason.

I always say that if Lily followed my thinking we’d have lots of fun but we’d be broke, and if we did things Lily’s way, we’d have lots of money but man, life would be sooo dull.

We need both perspectives. We’ve been given one, but we need to appreciate the other.

Regardless of how we are wired, there are times we need to see good in the bad, and find contentment in disappointment.

The other day, I came home from work and, as usual, pressed the button to my garage door opener from the street behind my house, so that when I turned the corner onto my street and reached my driveway, the door was already up.

It’s like I’m driving into the bat cave. If my neighbours looked out the window they would wonder why my garage door goes up when there’s no car in sight, only to then see my bat mobile (I mean, my Hyundai Accent) come bombing around the corner, up the driveway and into the cave.

I bet my associate wishes he had one right now. But that’s not the point of my story. … I got out of my car and with my back to the garage door, I pressed the button for it to go down.

As I fumbled for my keys to open the house door there was a huge bang. I jumped, and almost dropped the keys.

I couldn’t tell if something really big and heavy had dropped or whether the ammonium nitrate in our fertilizer triggered a small explosion (our lawn has been doing well this year).

As I looked around the garage, I noticed that a wire on my garage door was loose. Then I saw that the spring for that door had broken. My immediate reaction was, “No way! This couldn’t happen at a worse time.”

You see, we had just booked a company to come and replace our other garage door for the next day. Now, we would need the second garage door fixed as well.

I just shook my head. But then I thought, “Maybe the timing on this couldn’t have been better. The repair guy is coming tomorrow; he can fix both garage doors in one visit!”

Yes, it did add to our expense, but we didn’t need a whole new door (just the spring assembly).

The great thing was it could have happened the day after the repairman came, or a week or month later. Instead, that door broke just in time to get fixed the very next day.

Here’s the thing: When you experience a glass half empty circumstance, don’t just settle for that perspective. There is greater value in looking for the glass half full perspective in that circumstance. God will always provide something of greater value than what’s on the surface … if we will look for it.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How have you turned a half empty circumstance into a half full one? Leave your comment below.

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Late Again!

Estimating one’s time of arrival to a pre-planned destination is not always easy. It takes great skill, insight and determination … and I’m not talking about being on time to pick up wings from your favourite take-out place.

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I know that my wing joint is five minutes from my house; they tell me my order will be ready in ten minutes. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that I better get myself together right away and leave the house in five minutes to get my wings on time.

No, what I’m talking about is figuring out when I will arrive to a place that’s out-of-town  with packing involved … like the other day, when I left our cottage and planned on stopping by our daughter’s place in Richmond Hill on the way home.

My wife is a very poor time estimator and I found out that I’m not much better. I texted my daughter that I would be at her place by noon on Saturday – that gave me all Friday evening to pack up and be ready to go in the morning.

I knew what time I needed to leave – the trouble was actually leaving when I knew I needed to!

I packed most of my things the night before. I even got everything lined up at the door so I wouldn’t have any problems. Well . . . in the morning, I did have problems.

I got up on time, but I kind of lost track of the time as I did my devotions. They ran a little long. I wasn’t worried though. I was packed and still had lots of time. But I also needed to post a blog and write a new one.

Posting the blog was easy; I was all ready for it and got it off in record time. Writing a new one was a different story. Maybe I felt under pressure, but it took way too long to write.

About half way through writing the blog I realized if I didn’t get moving I’d miss my 9 am departure to be on time. I started to think of ways I could beat the time. I reasoned that I could leave at 9:30 and still get there on time. After all, I had given myself a little extra time in my first estimation.

So I kept writing. By the time I was finished, I realized I wasn’t even going to make my 9:30 exit from the cottage. Now I had to go into “hurry” mode.

I still had too many little things that had to be done. I was in a rush to shower, eat breakfast, wash dishes, clean out the fridge, vacuum, and complete the shut down routine of the cottage.

By the time I was in the car, and driving out, I was two hours later than my projected time of 9:00 am. So what else could I do? I had to speed . . .

And that’s the subject of another blog.

Here’s the thing: I know what I could have done to be ready on time. I needed a better assessment of what I actually had to do and the time it would take. When I promise the Lord I will do something, I need to take a thorough consideration of what that will involve and then plan for it accordingly, so that I keep my promise to Him.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you do to make sure you leave for your destination on time? Leave your comment below.

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Forty Years and Forty Pounds

It’s been a long time since I’ve seen some of my high school buddies. I’ve known most of them for over 40 years. We got together a few weeks ago because one of the guys was visiting Toronto from out west.

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He moved out there 30 years ago and says he’ll never move back. I know you’re probably thinking he moved out to Vancouver or some other west coast city. If you’re thinking that, though, you’re wrong, because this guy is never coming back from Ded Reer, I mean Red Deer, Alberta.

Nothing wrong with Red Deer; I passed by it lots when I lived in Edmonton. You always felt good as you made that one slight bend in the road between Calgary and Edmonton. Red Deer was the indicator you were half way to your destination or half way home.

I was looking forward to seeing the guys, but I happened to look in a mirror a few minutes beforehand and realized I didn’t really look the same as I did in high school.

And though I knew all the guys very well, when a few of them showed up, it was like seeing them for the first time.

I found the two biggest factors in recognizing my old friends were weight and hair. If they didn’t have hair, that made it difficult, because 40 years ago we all had hair (lots of it, too).  If they had gained weight, that also made it difficult because it altered their facial features (along with some other features). If they lost hair and gained weight, well, then it was like being introduced to a brand new friend.

One guy I didn’t recognize the entire night! It took my brain until the next morning to run him through my internal facial recognition files, but there he was … although now he is a little slimmer, a little better dressed, and his hair is way more under control.

There were 15 of us who descended on Wendel Clark’s Classic Grill and Sports Lounge that evening. And it took most of us about 4 hours or so to undo 40 years of history. But believe me, the old jokes, nicknames, stories and fables all surfaced during the night.

It’s hard to imagine that you can have little or no contact with people for years and years, but once you get them all back together in the same room, it’s like you never were apart. It was still as comfortable and easy to be with these guys as it was back when our hair was shoulder length and we were listening to Steely Dan and Elton John.

Here’s the thing: Lots can happen in life. Things can change us, and make us look a lot different than we once did, both inside and out. But God knows us so well that if we decide to meet with Him again, it will be like we were never apart. It’ll still be comfortable and easy. Let me encourage you to meet with God and refresh your relationship. He is eager to get together with you.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: Who have you found it easy to reconnect with after a long time apart?  Leave your comment below.

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She Wished She Had Lived When?

You can know someone for so long, but not really know them at all. Have you ever experienced that? I did this past weekend when my wife and I went to Upper Canada Village (an authentic 19th century park along the St. Lawrence River).

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I can thank our friends for that. We had been talking with them about what they had been doing over the summer and they mentioned they had just been to UCV. That seed got planted in Lily’s brain, fertilized, grew and blossomed in only two days, just as we were deciding on what to do for our anniversary. Before I knew it, we were on our way.

At the end of our day there, I discovered that Lily would have liked to live back in those times. She said they were “simpler.”

It was right then that I realized I didn’t even know this person I’d been married to for 28 years. Simpler times, were they?

During our visit, we watched a blacksmith heat up and hammer a piece of iron into a coat hook. With one hand, he worked the bellows to fan the flame, with the other, he held the metal in the fire. He was hot, sweaty, then with great force, hammered the iron into shape. It took effort. … I could drive to Home Depot and buy one for about $1.50. Which is simpler?

We milked a cow, which I actually proved to be pretty good at. But still, I could tell it would take a long time to get a bucket of milk … and that’s assuming your aim was good and you got all the milk in the bucket and not down your leg.

I think reaching into the fridge and pulling out a container of milk is simpler – even if we use bags instead of cartons! How could she think living in the 1860’s would be simpler?

I saw a few kitchens in this village and there were no microwave ovens, no electric stoves, no fridges. Food preparation looked pretty onerous and time consuming. A combo meal from McDonald’s, now that’s simple!

The processes they had to go through to make cheese, print a paper or cut a large log were painstakingly long. We watched a horse walking in a circle, hooked up to a contraption, that sawed through a 24” diameter log.

I was impressed with the ingenuity of the people who thought this up. But a Husqvarna 440 chainsaw would have cut through that log in about 15 seconds!

Factoring in that we experienced all this in the middle of the summer in 25 C (77 F) weather, you can multiply the complexity of living back then exponentially during the winter months.

I don’t understand why Lily thinks it would be nice to live back then. This from a woman who packs her bag so full for an over night, that she asks me to put the hairdryer in my bag … because that 19th century technology is coming with us, for sure!

She hadn’t been to Upper Canada Village since she was a kid, and she was very excited about going. I just hope it was the excitement that was doing the talking. If not, I don’t have a clue who this person is.

Here’s the thing: You can think you know God, but do you really? As you peel back the pages of the Bible, and experience Him in life, over a great amount of time you will discover more of Him … But you’re still only scratching the surface.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What new thing have you discovered about God in the last year? Leave your comment below.

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We’re Selling Rabbit Fur Coats, Cheap!

For the last 18 years, my wife has organized a street BBQ with our neighbours. I’d like to say that it’s Lily and I who put this on, but I don’t do much more than clean off a few chairs and roll our BBQ out to the street. She does all the organizing.

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What happens is at 5 pm, I roll our BBQ out to the middle of the street (we live on a keyhole cul-de-sac) and, magically, the neighbours start to show up with their chairs, food and drinks.

It’s not a big event; there’s just ten houses on our street. But we do invite past neighbours (alumni) to attend.

We’ve had the police drive by a few times, but they’ve always just joked with us. Maybe it’s because we have a retired corrections officer on the street, and maybe they have a secret signal (like the Masons) that tips other officers to their occupation. Maybe not.

This year a conversation started about the rabbits. You know, those cute little fury things some people keep as pets. Not on our street! Everyone hates them – even the women, especially the women!

It seemed to be unanimous that everyone was looking for ways to keep the bunnies from eating the flowers in our gardens. Some have tried human hair, moth balls, soap, and cayenne pepper. One owner said she put Frank’s Hot Sauce in the garden, but I don’t think that’s right, wasting good hot sauce on those varmints.

One neighbour has put chicken wire around all his little gardens. Sure he has his flowers, but it’s harder to see them through the chicken wire. One guy sits on his deck with a garden hose in hand and spays the little hoppers when he sees them.

As we were talking, we looked over at our house and there was a bunny hopping up our front walk to our door, like he was going to call on our turtle, Winston, to come out for a race or something.

These rabbits are not afraid of us, either. They just look at us with those innocent eyes, and remain very still like they are thinking, “I can see them, but if I remain still they won’t even know I’m hear nibbling on their lilies.”

At the BBQ, there was talk of pellet guns, and setting up a camouflage blind in one of our backyards to hunt them down, but we never got too far with that. We talked of rabbit stew and selling rabbit coats but these ideas didn’t get off the ground either.

In the end, it was still every household for themselves against the rabbit population on our street which is rapidly growing among an aging human demographic.

It was fitting that, as my neighbour and I were returning some things to our backyard, a little bunny, no more than a week or two old, appeared in front of us and then scurried under our deck. I really do think they have plans to overrun us.

Here’s the thing: It’s amazing how we can come together over something as silly as a bunny problem. God wants us to come together around Him, which should be easy. Sadly, in the end, we often end up everyone for themselves. It just should not be.

That’s life!

Paul

Question: How would you deal with a bunny problem? Leave your comment below.

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Customer Service . . . I’d Like Some!

Customer service is a very important part of a business or any organization. In these days with social media, customer service is even more important. If someone is treated poorly and has lots of followers on Twitter and Facebook, a bad review of your product or organization could go viral quickly.

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So you would think companies would be mindful of listening to their customers, trying to understand them, instead of frustrating them to the point of outrage.

I found out that all depends on who you are dealing with. If you are talking to a customer service rep, they are on your side, trying to make it easy for you to get the result you are looking for.

However, if you are dealing with someone in, let’s say, the accounting department, they are more likely concerned that numbers match up in their books. They don’t care about your experience or how you feel. They feel good when they experience a ledger that looks neat and all balanced-like.

You might be able to see where this is going. That’s right, I had a customer service issue with our photocopier company at work and I was dealing with someone who really only cared about applying a credit to our account … a credit they should have sent to our old photocopier company to buy it out! I just finished writing a long letter to the company – maybe that should have been my blog today!

So, as I take an extra beta blocker this morning (just kidding) to keep my blood pressure in the earth’s atmosphere, I need to get a few things off my chest.

When dealing with a customer, listen to them. Hear not only their words but the emotion that’s behind the words. If you sense there is a frustration, don’t repeat what you have already done (and which failed) over and over again. It does NOT calm someone down!

When you have promised to take care of something for the customer and have not done so, don’t ask the customer to research and come up with a solution. Find a solution for them.

When a customer comes back to you with a solution, don’t tell the customer again what you have already done (and which failed). It doesn’t give the customer the sense that you are listening to them.

When you realize that the issue is something beyond you, don’t make the customer craft a letter to present their case to the people above your pay grade. YOU go to bat for them.

Finally when you realize that maybe, just maybe, your company dropped the ball (even a tiny bit), acknowledge it and tell the customer you are sorry, or they will feel you don’t care about your customers, and that might start something on Twitter or Facebook.

Here’s the thing: We often get upset with God’s customer service when He doesn’t answer us, or provide what we are looking for from Him, or even when we think “how could God let that happen”. But consider this … He is perfect and we aren’t. We’re the ones who have messed up and are in the wrong, yet He is still gracious, and patient and loving to us. Wow! That is great customer service.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What is your most frustrating customer service story? Leave your comment below.

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I’ve Had It With Falling Off My Bike

I went for a mountain bike ride today and noticed a few things that I’m not crazy about. It was my first time riding this trail this year and it has lots of technical and rocky sections to it.

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Though I know the trail well – I’ve been biking it for years – I found myself stopping, and falling off my bike more frequently than I normally do. One time as my tires slipped, I clicked out of my peddle to put my foot down, and what I thought was moss covered rock was actually moss over a hole. I step down into it hard.

The whole ride I felt a little clumsy. I started to think, “I didn’t have this trouble last year. What’s up with me?” Maybe, as we get older, we start to revert back to the junior high days of not being in control of our limbs!

Junior high kids are always tripping over their own feet or someone else’s. I remember when I worked with junior high kids and a kid would have a mark on his forehead. I would ask what happened and the reply would be something like, “Oh, I walked into a door.” He would say it like it was an every day occurrence, certainly something he’d done before.

I don’t really want to revert back to those clumsy days. I’m still in my fifties. If I’m starting to regress now, I can only imagine how bad I’ll be when I’m 65 or 70. I’ll have to be clothed in bubble wrap! … It will look strange and it will hamper my movements, but you can’t beat the protection. I wonder if I’ll be able to get it in blue and white?

The other thought I had was that as I get older maybe it takes a little longer to get my balance back for riding those trails that are cambered. If that’s the case, I better have my balance back the next time I go riding. I don’t want it to take half the season to get comfortable on that terrain.

Maybe it’s worse than that! Maybe it’s a combination of regressive clumsiness and faulty balance. I’ve known some older people who get vertigo; maybe this is just a real bad case of “clumbalansy” – that’s a new word I just made up to describe this medical condition that seems to be attacking my equilibrium.

I’ve never had anyone tell me that they have experienced this as they got older. My doctor never warned me that I might contract clumbalansy as I age. I wonder if there is some medication I could take to clear it up fast?

They have products to help junior highers with their acne – what about some ointment or pill for my clumbalansy? … I might just have to fight through this one on my own.

Here’s the thing: You would think that the older we get, the easier it would be to stay close with God. But what I’ve found is there are all kinds of reasons, pressures, interests that make it difficult to persist in seeking God. Growing as a Christian is something we do for life. It’s really becoming more like Christ, and that will never get easier. So we have to keep fighting through and keep seeking, keep drawing close to God, dedicated to becoming more like Him.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What do you find more difficult the older you get? Leave your comment below.

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Living in the Shadow of Riches

I find the contrast between wealth and poverty difficult to get my head around, especially when they’re found together.

I remember visiting a village in Laos, South East Asia in 1992 that took two hours to get to by boat. When you say, “middle of nowhere” it refers to that little dot on the map. The place had no running water, requiring the women to climb up a hillside to get it from a stream.

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The chief’s home was on stilts and the home’s only furniture was a chest and a few mats. There was a big old pot-bellied pig that lived below the thatch roofed hut.

What I found amazing was, at the time I was there, the chief was in Los Angeles, California visiting his son who was attending university. The thought of a man from that tiny primitive village being in the abundance of LA blew my mind. The contrast seemed to be too extreme.

Being in Atlantic City this week, I saw similar contrasts. But you could miss them all together if you stayed in one of the casinos along the boardwalk. When you stay in a casino resort, you never have to leave the confines of wealth, luxury and beauty.

For that matter, though you are at one of the best beaches in America, you never have to see the light of day – but you certainly can get carpal tunnel from pushing the buttons on the slot machines!

We stayed in a hotel about a 10 minute walk to the strip. On our walks to the world famous Atlantic City boardwalk, we saw some huge contrasts to what we found in the casinos. From the vantage point of our 10th floor balcony, we saw homes that could – and probably should – be torn down, in spitting distance from a casino that cost $2.4 billion to build.

It boggles my mind to see prosperity and dearth coexisting beside each other. How does one live in the shadow of lavishness and how does one ignore impoverishment? There are no simple answers to those questions.

It wouldn’t work to take money from the wealthy; they would still find a way to generate more. Giving money to the poor wouldn’t necessarily mean they would use it to change their situation for any length of time.

This is not something that only exists in Atlantic City. In any city we could name, on any continent on the globe, this same disparity can be found dwelling side by side.

No matter how huge the gulf is, there is something that is consistent: we settle in and get used to living side by side. Though we should seek to do something to change the disparity, instead we shrug and accept it as the way it is.

Here’s the thing: In this life we all live together side by side, those who are bound for heaven and those bound for hell. In heaven one day there will be no co-existing. Those who have placed their faith in Christ, regardless of their wealth or lack of it, will be in heaven, while those who have not will be in hell. Those bound for heaven shouldn’t accept the disparity now, but seek to bring others into faith in Christ.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What contrasts do you see in life that you have a hard time reconciling?  Leave your comment below.