my experiences

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Man, Was I Ever Set Up 

On a phone call to correct a mistake, I got set up for a fall.

The other day I made a phone call about a product I had purchased. I was hoping to get some help for a mistake I had made in ordering, but boy did it ever turn bad!

I had ordered a portable coat rack for my church and, when it came, I realized it was not going to work well at all.

The coat rack holds a high volume of coats and if we lived in a southern climate it would have worked perfectly. But here in Canada, we would be using it mostly over the winter months and there is no way it would work.

Instead of a bar that you would put hangers on, it came with hooks – 120 hooks to be exact – in groups of three.

This was a completely foreign concept to me, and somehow I thought we would still be able to use hangers on this coat rack.

When it arrived, however, I realized pretty quickly that hangers wouldn’t work. So I made the call and got set up.

Setups are common, especially for jokes. Jokes usually involve a rule of three: You set up a joke with two things that get the audience thinking in one direction, and then you slip in a third line – the punch line – that takes them in a different direction than they were thinking.

… Like what one comedian put on his answering machine: “Sorry, I can’t come to the phone right now. I’m either speaking at a large conference, appearing on the Jimmy Fallon show, or I’m taking a nap. Please leave a message. I’ll call you back when I wake up.”

The third response throws a curve ball. And speaking of curve balls, baseball pitchers use a setup to get batters to strike out. A pitcher might throw two fastballs for strikes and then, for the third strike, throw an off-speed pitch like a change-up or slow curve to fool the batter.

This is exactly how I got set up. I made my phone call, talked to a receptionist, and told her my story. She very pleasantly said she would put me through to customer service.

The customer service person was also very friendly and you could tell she was there to help. But when she found out I was calling from Canada, she said, “I’m sorry. I will put you through to our Canadian office.”

A few seconds later, I got this guy on the phone who said in a gruff way, “What’s your issue?” Right away I could tell he didn’t want to help me at all.

I explained my mistake in ordering and he responded with, “I will have to check to see if they will take a return. It has to be in its original box, and you will have to pay a 15% restocking charge and make your own arrangements to ship it back.”

Did you see that? I got set up by two very pleasant people and then hit by the punch line from out of nowhere!

Here’s the thing: Life is often a setup. Things are going well, you expect more of the same, and then, the punch line, the curve ball and you never saw it coming. God is perfect for the setups in life. Just lean into Him to keep yourself from falling apart. He’ll get you through.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How do you normally deal with being set up? Leave your comments below.

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My Internet Issue Is Beyond Explanation

I have an internet issue that just doesn’t make sense to me, but I know there must be an explanation.

It’s been incredibly frustrating.

From the first day that we opened up our cottage last spring until we closed it up just now, we had issues with the internet.

We couldn’t seem to keep our modem connected.

For a while I thought that the modem might have been faulty, so I replaced it. The new one worked at first, but then later stopped working.

Then I thought, “Maybe it’s not the modem; maybe it’s something else.”

For most of the summer I figured it was the splitter that splits the signal between the modem and the TV.

I bought a new splitter, but that didn’t work either. In fact, it made the signal worse for the TV. I guess I bought a cheap splitter.

But when I put the old splitter back on my modem, it worked again.

That started a little dance with me and the splitter. Petty much every morning I had to go outside, underneath the cottage, and unhook the splitter. I would wait about 10 seconds and hook it back up.

This routine seemed to work. The modem would connect and we would have internet service in the cottage for a length of time … but I never knew how long a time.

Sometimes it would connect for an hour, but other times it would be good for most of the day.

It seemed that if the weather changed, that caused the internet to cut out. And with our weather this summer, we never went more than a couple of days without some amount of rain.

I wanted to get a really good splitter, but after my first attempt I was hesitant to buy another one for fear I would get the same results.

I felt like I was back in the day when one would try to bring in a TV signal with rabbit ears.

You remember – if you held the antenna with your right hand, stood on your left foot and opened your mouth, then you could see a picture on the TV.

You just couldn’t move; you were stuck in that position while everyone else got to see the show.

It just didn’t make sense to me. I was doing something that I didn’t think should make a difference and it was working … but I don’t know how or why it worked.

A neighbour offered me a really good splitter that he wasn’t using, and it seemed to work well for the day.

I thought maybe that was it; problem solved.

But when we came up to close the cottage for the winter, guess what? No internet.

I had to go out and dance with the splitter again.

My only other explanation is that the upload signal is weak and that’s why it has a hard time connecting.

I’m going to have to wait until next year to test that theory.

At least I won’t have a hard time remembering what to try. When I go up there in the spring and the internet doesn’t connect, the memory of this year will come flooding back to me.

Here’s the thing: We like to understand things. We don’t like it when something doesn’t make sense to us, so we often draw our own conclusions. They don’t have to be right; they just have to make sense to us. Be careful you don’t do that with God. He is above our understanding.

That’s Life!

Paul

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Running Shoes Don’t Last Forever

I guess the life expectancy of my running shoes had reached its limit and then some.

I can’t remember when I bought them, but I do remember buying a pair about 22 years ago. I can’t say for sure that the runners I have now are those, but let’s just say I’ve had this pair for a very, very long time.

There was a time when I would go through a pair of running shoes every year. They were my go-to, every day shoes.

Since then I find I don’t run very much, so they just stay in the closet, collecting dust until I go on my treadmill or rowing machine. … I guess that’s why I’ve been able to keep them so long.

This year though, I decided to play baseball, so out came my trusty running shoes.

I wore them every Monday this spring and summer, but these shoes will never feel my feet inside them again.

Last Monday they simply disintegrated. I don’t know why they chose this past week to break down and I don’t know why they blew up all at once instead of gradually.

When I put them on before ball, they seemed to be in really good shape. I had no thoughts of needing to replace them this year at all.

The only thing I can think of is that the infield was made of red clay and was pretty wet … and we were just taking batting practice.

The pattern was to hit 10 balls, take a break while another guy hit ten, and then hit another 10 balls.

It might have been a combination of things, including extended time in the batter’s box dragging my toe through the wet clay as I swung through the pitch.

For the first 10 balls, I decided to hit right-handed. I noticed that a bunch of clay had gotten up inside the tread on one shoe.

For the next ten, I decided to hit my natural way – left-handed – and this time it was the other shoe that filled up with clay under the tread.

I then took my turn fielding balls.

By the time I finished my next at bat, the soles of my shoes were flapping like the tongue of a big old dog who’d just finished slurping down his dinner meal.

I walked back to my car feeling like I was wearing clown shoes! It was such an odd feeling.

The shoes were done, finished, not even good enough to cut the grass in.

Last night I went out looking for a new pair of running shoes. Cross trainers seem to be the type of shoe best suited to my activities. … $100 later and I’m ready for baseball next week.

Here’s the thing: In life, most of the time, we manage just fine. We even handle struggles with not too much sweat. But every once in a while the wheels fall off, the shoes disintegrate, life blows up in our face. This happens when we are least expecting it, usually when we are not ready for it. If you’re not in the habit of turning to God, you can really find yourself lost, floundering, panicked. Begin a relationship with God today – if you haven’t done so already – because He can put your life back together.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What unexpected thing has blown up in front of you? Leave your comments below.

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My Life Is In Flux Right Now

I’m in a state of flux right now. Though it’s early in September, and I’ve had a long planning session for the upcoming year, I still feel a little out of sorts.

My planning went well and I came away from that week with some solid tracks to run on. But when I sit in my office, I don’t feel settled.

The reason for that? – my office is a mess!

During the summer we had a huge rain storm. The church basement flooded and we had to have a company come in to help clean up the mess.

I was away on vacation at the time; my office was locked and there was no need for anyone to go in it.

So when I returned after being away for several weeks, the first thing I noticed was the damp smell and then the ceiling tile that had fallen down.

There had been a leak in the roof and it had soaked through a ceiling tile, which had fallen down beside a bookshelf.

The amazing thing about it all was, though the ceiling tile was still soggy wet, the leak never touched any of my books.

I was sure happy about that, but it left me with a bit of a mess and forced me to make an even greater mess.

I took all the books off the shelf and put them in piles around my office. I then moved the bookcase out from the wall so that someone could examine the situation and put the ceiling back together again.

Well, things are moving rather slowly and my office has been in the same state for a couple of weeks now.

… And that’s why I feel so unsettled in my office.

It’s that same feeling you have when you’ve moved into a new home and you have boxes everywhere. You’re excited to be in the new place but you don’t feel right until all your stuff is where it is supposed to be.

I’ve been meeting with people in another room because my office chairs are being used to support three foot high piles of books.

I also have a bookcase that is standing in the middle of my office.

My office feels more like a storage space than an office. It’s not conducive to focussing on work.

When I look up from my computer, I often wonder if one of the piles of books looks like it’s leaning a little too much. I start to imagine it as the leaning tower of Pisa.

I really hope that I don’t need any of those books. If I do, I’ll be forced to play that block game Jenga with them … and I’ve never been particularly successful at not toppling over the stack of blocks.

I think the sooner my office can get put back to normal, the sooner I will start to settle down for the fall.

Here’s the thing: Many things can come up in life that cause you to feel unsettled – a health issue, job pressure, a move or even a flood. There may be nothing you can do to get life back in order, leaving you tempted to completely lose focus. However, you can keep order in your spiritual life by spending regular, quality time with God. If you do that in the morning, it will start your day off right, even if other aspects in your day are still in flux.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What has got you feeling a little unsettled? Leave your comments below.

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I Can’t Believe I Broke My Streak

I knew there would come a day when my streak would come to an end; I just didn’t want it to be today.

Near the beginning of the year, I started a calorie burning streak that has lasted over seven months.

One of the things I’ve been doing this year to improve my health is to make sure I’ve hit three goals each day. The goals involve the amount of standing I do per day as opposed to sitting, exercising at least 30 minutes each day and burning a certain number of calories each day.

Since January 9th I’ve not missed my calorie burning goal. Along the way the goal has increased several times, yet I have not missed reaching it every day for the last 231 days.

But that all came to an end tonight.

What an awful feeling …

… like your favourite TV show went off the air for the last time: no more Flintstones; no more Seinfeld.

… like a dear friend has moved away or passed away; you won’t see them any more.

… like years ago when we were traveling from Alberta to start work in Kingston, Ontario. About 3 days into our journey, our 5 year old son said, “I want to go home.” His big sister who was trying to comfort him said, “Michael, we don’t have a home.”

It’s gone and it’s not coming back!

I now have to go the next 232 days just to beat that streak.

It’s not that I hadn’t almost broken the streak earlier in the year.

There were times when I was doing jumping jacks in my bedroom 2 minutes before midnight to try to reach the goal before the clock reset.

Each time I was able to squeak in under the wire and reach the goal.

But this time I just wasn’t thinking. I had already accomplished my standing goal for the day and had completed my exercise.

Normally after I’ve exercised, I’m really close to reaching my calorie goal as well. But I made a mistake at the start of the week and hit the submit button on my watch before I adjusted the suggested weekly calorie goal.

As a result, I still had lots of calories to burn after I had exercised, which meant I needed to stay active a little while longer.

But I was tired that night and decided I would go to bed a little earlier … and forgot all about my calorie goal!

In the morning, you can’t imagine how disappointed I was.

… like the time when I was a kid and I lost my iguana outside, about an hour before we were to leave on a two-week vacation.

I was very sad leaving the house, knowing that my pet was on the loose, that he probably wouldn’t survive the outdoors, especially at night.

I’m happy to say that my iguana did survive those two weeks. He was so cold he hadn’t moved the entire second week!

Unfortunately, I’m not getting this streak back. All I can do is start again.

Here’s the thing: The downside about sin is that you feel so rotten when it happens, you may feel that you let others down, yourself down, and God down. You might even experience guilt that prevents you from moving on. But when you seek God’s forgiveness, the good thing is you start again. And starting again IS a good thing.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How hard was it for you to get back after you broke a streak of some kind? Leave your comments below.

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I Was Stuck At This Red Light Forever

The other night I was stuck at a red light for an inordinate amount of time.

I was on my way to our cottage for my yearly planning retreat. On one stretch of highway, that is only one lane in each direction, there was work being done on a bridge.

I don’t know what it is with little bridges but they seem to be the hardest things in the world to fix. It takes months and months and, in some cases, years to repair them.

This bridge is no exception., I think they could build a huge suspension bridge over a vast canyon quicker than completing the repair work to this bridge.

With the work being done on the bridge, it is down to one lane … That’s it! – one lane for traffic going in both directions.

This bridge is maybe only 30 feet in length, but it completely controls the traffic flow.

When I got to the bridge, and saw about 10 vehicles ahead of me, I naturally thought we would get our chance to cross the bridge in no time.

At first I didn’t even put the car in park; I just kept my foot on the brake. I didn’t think this would take long at all.

Boy was I wrong! The cars coming the other way just kept coming. The worst part was there were breaks in the traffic.

Seven, eight or nine cars would pass by going south and then there would be nothing. Every time there was a break, I thought, “Okay, the light changed and now it’s our turn to go.”

No. Just when I thought it would be time for us to start moving, I would see headlights coming from the other direction and another 10, maybe 12 cars, would drive by.

Ten minutes we waited with no sign that we were going to get a green light in the next little while … or month!

But there was a sign of hope.

Just a few yards ahead of me was a gravel road. I quickly looked at the maps on my phone and made a real fast decision to cut out of the line and take a detour.

No one else was doing it but I thought, “Someone has to start it up.”

I cut out of the line and made a break for it. The detour took me about 10 minutes but I came out well beyond the traffic interruption.

When I got to the crossroads to join up with the original highway I had been on, there was a stop light and I had to make a left turn.

As I waited for the light to turn green – because, of course, there was no way I would get a green light when I approached the intersection – I noticed a truck pass by.

I had a suspicion that I’d seen that truck before.

After I got back on the highway, and caught up to the traffic, I was sure it was the same truck. … And I was in the exact same position behind the truck as I was when we had been stuck at the light.

I didn’t gain one inch.

Here’s the thing: Impatience gets us to act, but sometimes our actions don’t really do us any good. When we are impatient with God, our impatience can lead us to take action that just gets in the way of what God is doing. It might delay things further or worse, it could set us back. Wait on God and don’t let your impatience cause you to try to circumvent God’s plan.

That’s life!

Paul

Question: What delays have caused you to be impatient with God? Leave your comments below.

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It Was A Different Story, But The Same Outcome

I read a story last night … something I haven’t done in years.

Let me explain: it was a children’s story and I read it to a couple of kids.

It’s been years since I’ve read a children’s story to kids, because it’s been years since our kids were little.

The story was new but some things were familiar, like my tendency to change things when I read them or add things to the story that aren’t there.

I actually have the reverse effect on kids that I’m supposed to have.

When our kids were little and I would read them stories, they would end up giggling and laughing and ready for a party to break out.

Lily would have to come along and settle them down for bedtime all over again.

Last night I found myself in that old, familiar situation. It was bedtime for a couple of kids Lily and I were babysitting for the night. … It was actually Lily doing the babysitting; I just came in at story time to give a hand … or maybe disrupt the flow.

Lil handed me the books, so I went into the living room and slumped on the couch. Two little creatures followed me and sat beside me, one on each side.

There were two stories, and they picked which one I would read first. So I began to read.

I was a little uncertain of how it would go; it had been so long and I felt out of practice. I also didn’t know what it would be like reading to someone else’s kids, but I got into the rhythm fairly quickly.

Back when our kids were little, I would stop on certain pages – the same pages every time, in fact – and make comments about the pictures. … A number of years later, our son was reading a story to younger kids at his school. When he got to the page I used to make comments on, he was shocked to find that those comments weren’t actually part of the story.

I’d also read things in the first person, or sometimes change the story just a little. That usually stirred the kids up.

Well, last night the reading was going on without a hitch … nothing to change, only a few comments to be made about the pictures.

Then I came across a word that triggered a song in my head.

Now I don’t know how many times these kids have had that story read to them, but I bet it was the first time that the reader broke out in a rendition of “May the bird of paradise fly up your nose.”

I think they made me sing it three or four times after that! I just hope those little guys’ parents will know what to do when those kids get home, hand them that story book and say, “sing the song”!

Well, it’s nice to know I haven’t lost my touch!

Lil had to do her magic once again. I walked by their room a few minutes after they left me, and she was telling them one of her calming, soothing stories to put them to sleep.

Here’s the thing: If you find that things have been strained with God, that maybe your time with Him has been non-existent recently, or that through disobedience you’ve felt far away, just come back to Him. When you do draw close to Him, you will find that familiar relationship you once had is back again. God never changes.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What memories of your time with God do you want to rekindle? Leave your comments below.

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I Just Didn’t Remember Doing It

I recently did something, but then moments later couldn’t remember doing it.

On a daily basis, when I leave the church, I set the alarm and lock the outside door. One day not long ago, after getting into my car, I thought, “I don’t remember setting the alarm or locking the door.”

It bothered me enough that I wheeled the car around to the front door, got out, tested the door, and looked to see if the armed light was red on the control pad.

Yup, I had set it, locked it and walked to my car … without really being conscious of doing it!

I remember my mother telling me that when I was young I would sometimes talk in my sleep. I apparently never made any sense; it was more like muttering to myself.

Doing something in your sleep is one thing; being fully awake and doing something you don’t remember doing takes it to a whole different level!

Maybe when I was locking up I was focussed on something else and wasn’t paying attention to what I was doing. … I’ve been accused of that before.

Sometimes when I’m on the phone with my wife, Lily, she can tell if I’m also working on my computer.

While talking to me, she will throw in a question. When I don’t respond right away, her next statement will be, “You’re on your computer; you didn’t even hear my question.”

I will then pause to listen to the question she asked. But because I’ve been working on my computer and not listening, I don’t always get the background to the question. She usually has to repeat the whole thing again.

She gets frustrated. Me? Just amused.

But again that’s a little different than doing something and not knowing you did it.

I think I have been doing the same routine of setting the alarm and locking the door for so many years that it is ingrained in me.

It’s like it’s second nature; I don’t have to think about it to do it.

It’s like tying your shoes. You don’t consciously think about the movements your fingers make in tying your shoes laces; you just do it. Only if you had to describe the process to someone would you think about each step.

When I was leaving work the other day, and didn’t remember setting the alarm and locking the door, I was just deep in thought about something else and went through the motions like I was tying my shoes.

Now you have to wonder, “What in the world was I thinking about that was so captivating that I didn’t remember my lockup routine?”

Truth? I don’t even remember what so captivated my thoughts that I wiped a few seconds of my life from my memory banks.

But that’s a whole other story.

Here’s the thing: It’s not always easy asking God for help, wisdom or guidance when you are in the middle of something. You are focussed on the matter at hand and not necessarily thinking about God. If you can find a way to remind yourself to check in with God in the midst of your decision or action, the more you do that the more second nature it will become … until you automatically, without thinking, confer with Him on matters you need Him to weigh in on.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: How would it help you to check in with God like it was second nature? Leave your comments below.

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I Don’t Want A Negative Opinion

Yesterday I started to form a negative opinion of a restaurant I actually like.

My opinion is based on an experience – if fact, my last experience at this chain of restaurants.

My wife, Lily, and I were traveling and needed to stop for gas and something to eat. I noticed a “Five Guys” burger place close to where we were gassing up, so when the tank was filled we made our way over.

When you have eaten in a restaurant before – maybe many times before – you kind of have an expectation of how things will go … especially in a chain restaurant where they try to create the same eating experience in every franchise they establish.

When we entered, there were several people in the order line ahead of us. It seemed like the two guys ordering at the counter either didn’t know what they wanted or were ordering for an army.

Turns out they didn’t know what to order. It’s a burger joint; they make burgers – no chicken, no fish, just burgers.

How hard is it to order a burger? I’m sure it wasn’t their first burger.

… But that wasn’t the issue. After the cashier finished with that marathon two-burger order, she disappeared.

I couldn’t remember what she looked like because she wasn’t quite as tall as the cash register so I never got a good look at her from my position fourth in line.

Close to five minutes went by before she returned to the cash and started to serve the next guest in line.

By the time we placed our order, we had been in line close to fifteen minutes.

Now if we were eating at the Keg, and waited fifteen minutes to order, I wouldn’t think anything of it. But this was a burger place … did I mention they only make burgers?

Then we waited for our food.

We had to clear our own table because obviously the paid staff weren’t doing the job. I picked the cleanest table and then wiped it down with some napkins.

When we finally got our food and started to eat, Lily and I began to reminisce about some of our other restaurant experiences.

We had a doozy a few years ago at a Burger King that has been etched in my mind forever.

That experience was almost matched at another Burger King, so now I can’t go into a Burger King without thinking something is going to go wrong.

I know Five Guys is a good restaurant and their food tastes great; I just don’t want my latest experience to taint this opinion.

They say it takes seven compliments to undue one negative one. I’m wondering if the same is true with an eating experience.

If so, I need to get back to “Five Guys” seven more times so that what happened yesterday doesn’t jade my opinion of a restaurant I actually really like.

Here’s the thing: You may have had an experience in your life where you blamed God or felt God didn’t treat you the way He should. Be careful not to let your view of that experience taint your opinion of God who is holy, good and all powerful. He’s God and He loves you and has a plan for you. Remember who He is and keep going back to Him. Don’t let one experience taint your opinion and keep you from seeking Him.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What experience with God in the past has given you confidence in Him? Leave your comments below.

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I Had To Wonder If I Was Still Alive

The other day I had to pinch myself to see if I was still alive. That’s right, it was a scary moment for me.

A few weeks ago I had to renew my driver’s license. I filled out the paper work, got my picture taken and then waited for my new license to arrive in the mail.

Well, it arrived alright and when I looked at the picture on my new license, I wasn’t a hundred percent sure that the picture of the guy on the license wasn’t dead!

That’s when I pinched myself.

My eyes were open in the picture but that was the only thing that made the picture look like there was possible life there.

I understand the aging process, but how do you go from looking like you were alive five years ago to dead now?

There were some other factors that came into play with the picture, the main factor being the quality of the photo.

I’ve stepped into one of those shopping mall photo booths before, and for a couple of bucks you get a string of pictures that are pretty poor in quality.

The thing is you are usually making funny faces so, first of all, you look like you are alive, and second, your face is lit up by the flash so that you can tell the blood is still flowing through your veins.

When I got my driver’s license, there was a flash that nearly blinded me but it didn’t brighten anything up. The fact that the license is grey in colour only accentuates the lifeless look of the picture.

The next time I have to get a new driver’s license I’m going to put on makeup. I don’t have bags under my eyes but apparently under certain conditions I do!

The worker who was serving me wasn’t a photographer – I realize that. She did warn me not to smile, but come on! When she looked at the picture on the screen, why didn’t she gasp and say, “We better take that one again, sir. You look like you’re dead.”

I think if I worked at it I could look a little cheery even without smiling. I just needed a second chance.

I’m the one who’s carrying around the picture of the dead guy in my wallet for the next five years. You would think they could turn the screen around and ask me if I was okay with that picture before it was printed and laminated on my card.

I hope I don’t get pulled over by the police because I might get arrested for driving with no vital signs!

I’m thinking maybe I should try to photoshop my driver’s license. Then I could add a smile and cover up the bags under my eyes.

Maybe all I need to do is add a twinkle in my eyes to show I’m still kicking.

Don’t give up on me.

Here’s the thing: There are many people who are walking around like they are alive but a picture of their souls would prove that they were really dead spiritually. When you physically die, it’s too late to change the condition of your soul. The great thing is that while you are still physically alive, trusting your life to Christ will change the condition of your soul and give it life – life that you will keep right through eternity.

That’s Life!

Paul

Question: What is the condition of your soul? Leave your comments below.